Sick Day: Chapter Three

Sick Day

Chapter Three: How Asuka Got her Groove back
OR
How Asuka learned Olympic-class Sprinting out of Necessity

It took some time, but Gendo finally worked through his deliriums, first there was the exploding rainbow phase, then he was chasing a pesky cold spot around his bed, and finally he was working out the logistics of clothing, feeding, and commanding an army of Skeletons.

Gendo only finally regained full mental consciousness sometime later, he was lying on the floor of the bathroom, naked except for a towel wrapped around his head, and a single black sock draped artfully over his crotch to preserve modesty. He found himself hugging tightly a very new and expensive looking teddy bear which he had never seen before in his life. This worried him ever so slightly.

Dressing smartly in some black casual civvies, Gendo walked towards the phone to notify Nerv central that he was ready to return. When his hand stopped inches away from the receiver, he frowned. Rarely did he ever get a genuine day off. And this was the perfect opportunity to get away from it all. His hand retracted from the phone slowly. "It's only going to be a dreary 24 hour shift yawn-fest," he thought to himself, "Besides, what could go wrong?"

Maya Ibuki was Not Pleased.

She had been Not Pleased for several hours, for despite the intoxicating powers that being the leader of a powerful organization held for her, when nothing happened to justify the use of said powers for six hours straight, it got a trifle boring. Maya sneered at the lax-seeming Nerv employees below.

"Ants," she sneered, "they're all just a bunch of pointless scurrying ants."

Aoba was keeping occupied in his seat down below when suddenly he felt an itchy-burning feeling on his left earlobe, as his hand went up to scratch it, he caught a small dot of light fall on the back of his fingers dancing like a jittery bug all over the back of his hand. He turned around and slowly traced the shaky light all the way back to it's source, which happened to be a giant magnifying glass lens being held in front of a powerful desk light by one Maya Ibuki who was staring at him intensely behind Commander Ikari's desk wearing a pair of ridiculously oversized reading glasses. She stared hard at Aoba and Aoba stared back, conscious of the small dot of light wavering over his shirt. Finally she broke off the glare and put the magnifying glass away, putting on an uncanny imitation of the 'Commander Ikari Pose' and staring off into space.

Aoba kept staring for a while longer before turning around and fixating on his Nerv screensaver. "Man, some things are best left unknown..."

Maya Ibuki was starting to get really bored, really really bored and she knew that staying in command central wouldn't fix the situation. So she decided to tour Tokyo-3, checking for areas that were susceptible to angel attack, it was a job only for a commander of a secretive and powerful organization, which, of course, she was. She got up and started to walk towards the room's exit.

Ritsuko caught Maya's egress in the corner of her eyes, she pulled off her headphones and the tinny sounds of Jazz could be heard emanating from the 'phones.

"Maya!" she called out in a cheerful tone, "hey, where ya going?"

Maya stopped and turned around and affixed the Doctor with a Look that was so cold one could be convinced that butter wouldn't even melt in that woman's mouth. "That is none of your concern Doctor" she said stiffly, and whirled about and exited.

Ritsuko sat slowly back in her chair and blinked. "One day soon, me and that girl are gonna have words." she muttered.

Meanwhile 'Sister' Misato Katsuragi was in trouble; she'd found the communion wine.

Shinji was having an experience altogether new to him. He was actually having a civil conversation with Miss Asuka Langley. But it must be noted that this was only made possible by some numerous factors. Factors like exhaustion and hunger. And as they both sat on a park bench in the shade, eating take-out food that Shinji slowly nibbled on, they talked about movies and music and school. Shinji probably would've enjoyed staying that way forever, except--of course--something happened. Asuka made to get up to demonstrate a point, when her schoolbag caught on the bench, she flailed as she fell backwards and one of her hands landed right in Shinji's crotch. Asuka stumbled back in a panic, blushing.

"S-s-s-sorry Shinji," she said fearfully.

Shinji was slowly turning purple. "You-you-you...BAKA!" he yelled, and jumped up.

Asuka--sensing her imminent death--jumped up and ran like hell. Shinji ran behind her swinging a mallet he'd produced from nowhere screaming "Asuka you PERVERT!!!"

They ran fast as lightning, trees and buildings streaking by them unrecognizable. Ducking and weaving, the Wolverine in pursuit of the Rabbit, they ran as one, across streets, under bridges, and past an innocuous looking man in a baseball cap and t-shirt before they were gone.

Gendo looked at the two indistinct blurs as they flew by, he adjusted his ballcap and squared his shoulders. 'Hmmmphing' as he continued walking. "Damn Tokyo-3 ruffians" he thought to himself.

Rei sat in the ice-cream parlour making notes to herself about the various patrons. When she finished with all that Eva business, she planned to become a writer, and a writer needed to study those around her to gain an accurate skill at characterization. She watched as a young boy got into an argument with his girlfriend. "Hmm, now this kid is obviously in the right and to top it all off, he's presenting his side of the argument in a calm and rational manner. How completely unlike Shinji-God, what a spaz that boy can be sometimes. And Asuka, holy crap does that girl need medication." Rei continued her inner monologue, the arguing couple forgotten, all the people she knew at work were much more interesting anyway.

Now one might be wondering at such radical idiosyncrasies in Rei Ayanami's behaviour from the well-established norm of cold, logical, passionless, albino. The truth is, it was all Gendo's fault; if Gendo hadn't handled the entire Ayanami-as-wife/daughter-resurrected situation with kid gloves, he might have actually given her something to do during the days, given her a schedule, or enrolled her in an after-school program, like all regular mothers do to keep their offspring out of their hair. But instead, Rei always ended up in her own empty apartment, twiddling her thumbs, and slowly getting more and more mentally caustic. If Gendo had put her in some art classes, she would have remained emotionally arrested like all the other normal children. As it was, Rei was now--what some people would call--a wiseass, but only on the inside of her head, if she let her newly formed attitude out to the world, Gendo might actually make her do something. Rei shuddered, the last thing she needed on her hands was that irresponsible oversexed braincell-killing purple haired woman assigned as her guardian. Best to let the world think she had the emotional range of a gnat.

Just then a scared looking red streak followed by a furious looking brown and white streak zipped right by her window in the ice cream parlour. Rei blinked and stared. "Good Gravy! Is that Shinji and Asuka in a bizarre reversal of roles?" she shook her head resignedly, "All that tension between them is going to reach its breaking point one day and they'll either kill or shag each other."

Misato Katsuragi was in trouble, in her inebriated state, she was rapidly losing command of both her balance and the English language, she excused herself from morning devotions, saying she'd suddenly come down with Foot And Mouth Disease--which at the time seemed really clever.

End of Chapter Three