Sick Day
Chapter Four: Zone of the Benders
Misato was in bed; about two-thirds sober when a knock came at the door.
"Come in," she said weakly, hoping that it was a kind nun with some soothing liquid. Instead, who entered the room was wholly unexpected.
Misato blinked and rubbed her eyes, "Holy Shit! I must be drunker then I thought!" she exclaimed. For in front of her appeared to be an orange and red insect, with a gigantic singular eye. The world tilted and reformed, and the giant insect turned into a man in an orange and red biocontainment suit.
"Sister Katsuragi?" inquired the man in the suit, Misato nodded. "I've been ordered to detain you as standard anti-plague procedure, foot and mouth disease is a serious threat to the post-impact agriculture. Come along please."
Misato's eyes widened, "If I'm caught, I'm boned for sure." And with a wild--if not slightly tipsy--yell, she jumped out of bed, jump kicked the suited man in the helmet, toppling him backwards, ran up the side of the wall and back-flipped out a closed window. Glass shards flowed in front of her vision as her perception of time slowed down to a crawl. Through the debris she spied the ground far away, but coming closer every instant. Misato frowned.
"Wait one second, Aren't I on the fifth floor?"
She turned her head slowly and counted the number of windows below hers.
"Oh dear, I am."
At just that moment, cruel fate stepped in to make her situation just a little bit worse, as the wind caught underneath her habit and smartly disrobed her, leaving her to fall in nothing but her lingerie.
"Goddammit!"
And with nothing else but to fall downwards in her disrobed state and admire as glass particles tumbled endlessly in slow motion. Unbidden an old Beatles tune flashed through her head.
"How oddly inappropriate." she thought to herself.
Then regular time returned and Misato rushed to meet the lawn. Luckily her fall was broken by falling through an awning, part of a birthday cake, and landing on a widely girthed Cardinal who was helpfully padded around the mid-section.
Misato lay on the hapless Cardinal for a few moments, dazed. Her habit gently floated down and rested atop her prone form. She sat up, gripping the cloth. A moan came from beneath her.
Misato addressed the distressed Man beneath her, "Be grateful, it's not everyday that a beautiful naked girl lands on you."
Suddenly the convent doors burst open and five figures in bio-suits rushed out, the last holding an icepack gingerly to his forehead. The leader pointed at her, "There's the plague woman, get her!"
Misato knew when she was unwanted, and jumped up, running away from the furious people who could only gape at this immodestly dressed young woman sprinting away, a Nun's habit trailing from her hands.
In Downtown Tokyo-3
Gendo knew it was a mistake to go down this alley, he'd had a feeling about it ever since he passed the sign at the opening that read 'It's a mistake to go down this alley' Rat droppings helped plaster newspaper permanently to the concrete, and the disturbing scent of burnt ferret assaulted Commander Ikari's sensitive nostrils. Suddenly behind him someone chuckled. Gendo whirled around and beheld a large bolder. He blinked and the large bolder reformed itself into a disturbingly large individual.
"You should have listened to the sign," the large individual spoke maliciously. He advanced on Gendo, drew a handgun, and fired it.
Gendo's head snapped to the side, as the bullet with an accompanying distortion trail passed through the space where his head used to occupy. It was a very close call, but Gendo wasn't going to stop and congratulate himself. Instead, he jumped high--impossibly high--in the air, and scissorkicked his opponent in the face. The enormous thug dropped politely unconscious. Gendo landed softly, barely breathing hard.
His cellphone rang. Gendo cursed and opened the phone; pressing the send button. "Hello."
"Neo, for years you have been searching for an answer, an answer to the question that consumes you day and night."came a mysterious voice.
"Who shot JR?" volunteered a confused Gendo.
"No!" the voice said in a frustrated tone, "who is this?" it asked suspiciously.
"Gendo Ikari."
*Click-hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm*
Commander Ikari hung up. "Crazy people should not have access to phones."
***
Shinji and Asuka were wandering mainstreet, Shinji with a sheepish expression and Asuka with a rather nasty lump on her head, when the building cycle triggered. All around them highrises grew out of the ground and rose to astonishing heights. The ground rumbled and the air trembled. Shinji was impressed, he never got over the sense of awe that came from witnessing the city's transformation. Across the street a guy looked even more impressed.
"Dude," the guy breathed in astonishment to his friend. "I don't know where you bought that stuff, but I think it's kicking in. I need to take another hit."
The friend looked irritated and smacked the guy upside the head.
Shinji had been taking in the scene with interest when he felt his own head being smacked from behind. He turned around, sure enough it was Asuka. In a way he was sort of relieved that she was being violent again, but not really. His eyes narrowed. "You know, a simple 'excuse me' would have sufficed." he hissed at her indignantly.
Asuka's eyes widened fractionally, "Whoah, what's with you today, freaking out before and then giving me lip now? And by the way Shinji, I only let you chase me 'cause I needed the exercise."
Normally Shinji would've meekly accepted her tirade and let the whole matter drop, normally. But this was not a normal day by any stretch of the imagination. He turned on her in disgust. "Ok, that I won't let stand. I beat you fair and square."
Asuka rolled her eyes in the trademarked Langley fashion, "No you didn't, everyone knows that I'm superior to you mentally and physically. I can do anything."
"I don't think you could. You gotta have some limits. I mean, isn't there anything you would be afraid or outraged to do?"
"I'm not afraid to do anything!"
"Oh yeah? Well how about...."
***
Hello and welcome to WTLK, Tokyo-3 talk hour. Today's topic is 'Carpool lanes--good or bad?' and here's our first caller."
Woman's voice: Hello Jerry, long time listener, first time caller. Great to be on your show.
Jerry: Aww shucks, it's great to hear a fan, so what's on your mind Miss...?
Woman's Voice: [emphasized] it's COMMANDER Ibuki. And I'd just like to point out the extreme silliness of worrying about carpool lanes when I shall unleash destruction and chaos across you all. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-click-..................
Jerry: *coughs* well it seems as if we'd had a technical error in our phone system, umm too bad. Next caller.
***
In Nerv Central
Bridge Ensign Nomura frowned as he looked at his monitor. A pattern blue signal (signifying angels): was detected momentarily in a phone booth in west Tokyo-3.
"Sir," he yelled to Maeda, "You better take a look at this..."
To Be Continued...
