This story is set in an ambiguous Transformers Animated timeline in which Prowl and Jazz know each other and are best friends, and Team Prime never met. I crossposted it from ao3, because I wanted to see how ffnet works :D had to reupload because ffnet removed horizontal lines and couldn't figure how to edit :/

Cybertronian measurements based on 'The AllSpark Almanac':
nanoklik ~ a second
megacycle ~ 2,6 hours


Life on Cybertron had been very quiet lately. Or too quiet, if one were to ask Jazz. Instead of going on exciting missions or at least somewhat exciting patrols, he was stuck in the Elite Guard headquarters. And to make matters worse, he had to put up with equally annoyed Sentinel.

It really wasn't a surprise when his simultaneously bored and exhausted thoughts kept returning to his best friend's ongoing singlehood. Prowl didn't seem to be all that interested in pursuing a serious relationship, being the free spirit he was. Maybe if he ran into someone more grounded, it would pique his interest? And maybe Jazz could make it easier for him to run into just such a person? A plan began forming in his processor, as he called Prowl's personal frequency.


Once Prowl showed up, Jazz led him to a secluded spot off base where they could have some privacy.

"So… What would you say to a nice, responsible mech with a stable career?" he asked, innocently.

Prowl shot him an unimpressed look. "You're not exactly responsible."

"Mech, you're hurting my feelings. But I ain't talking about me. I have this friend, you dig, who is single-"

"Not this again."

"Why not? You haven't even heard it yet. He's a really nice bot. Why won't give him a chance?"

Prowl shook his helm, folding his arms. "I doubt that any nice, responsible mech would be attracted to me. And I'm not at all interested in being controlled by one."

"Oh, c'mon! He isn't like that at all," Jazz insisted. "You can't be alone forever! It's bad for a processor."

"I'm fine," Prowl muttered, the exasperation in his voice palpable.

Jazz wouldn't let it go so easily. "Oh, I'm sure my pally will think the same thing when he sees you..."

"Please, don't tell me you've been talking about me with him... I am not interested."

Jazz sighed, trying to think of a way to get through to his thick processor. "Prowler, I'm begging you. One little date, what's the harm?"

His friend looked unmoved by his pleading words. If anything, he seemed bored and indifferent. "No."

"Oh, for Primus' sake! Stop being like that. Go meet the mech. If you won't like him, fine. But just give him a try, will ya?"

Prowl stared at him, contemplative, and Jazz could see the wheels turning in his processor. "Alright, okay. But don't blame me if you wind up losing your nice friend because of me."

Jazz couldn't stop a grin from spreading across his faceplate. "Awesome." He patted his friend on the shoulder, earning a rather nasty look from him in return. "I'll send you more info later."

Now he had to convince the other participant of this blind date.


Jazz entered Blurr's office. A wave of concern hit him, seeing his perpetually busy colleague hunched over some documents. Had this mech ever taken a break?

"Blurr, don't you think you're working too hard? When was the last time you had some fun?" he asked and sat down in front of him.

He looked up from his datapads. "Well, someone spilled their Energon on my desk yesterday. I really enjoyed cleaning it," he replied sardonically.

"Yeah, right... What would you say if I had set you up on a date?"

Blurr blinked. "You can't be serious. Please, don't be serious."

"I wouldn't be joking about something like this!"

Blurr just stared at him dumbly, as the silence between them stretched until his optical ridges snapped together. "First of all, why are you doing something like this without asking me?" he demanded. "I don't... go on dates… With strangers..." He shook his helm. "It's going to be a disaster, I- Jazz, what have you done?"

"Chillax, mech! It's just a date - not a request to become Conjunx Endura…"

Blurr looked shaken. What about going on a date was so terrifying? "It's easy for you to say! I don't even know her. Or him. What am I expected to discuss with them?! You know damn well that my social skills are rusty! Primus..."

"You can do it, Blurr. You're one of the most competent, smart Autobots I know. Who wouldn't find you charming?"

Blurr looked at him, weary. "About most people I meet?" He let out a defeated sigh, slumping in his chair. "Who is my date, anyway?"

"A friend of mine. He's cool. Don't stress over it."

The other bot groaned. "Please, don't tell me it's Rodimus Prime..."

"Nope. You've never met him."

"Give me his name. I'll- dig him up, whatever I can... I have to know something about him."

Jazz chuckled. "Oh, no way, mech! You'll have to just go with the flow."

His role was over here. Now all he needed to do was pick a restaurant and give Blurr and Prowl the information they needed.


Blurr couldn't believe he had agreed to Jazz's offer. A blind date, really? Wasn't it a bit desperate, after all? He was perfectly happy to wait for the right femme or mech to come along, even if it would take centuries. Or more.

Maybe he should cancel the whole thing? But what would Jazz think of him, Blurr standing his best friend up like this? No, he couldn't do that to Jazz.

He also couldn't believe he decided against recharging for a proper amount of time in favour of spending countless megacycles meticulously buffing his finish and cleaning his tyres. Why was he even trying to look good for a blind date, anyway? This mech would probably flee as soon as he realised how socially inept Blurr was. But maybe his mysterious date would be a chatterbox and carry all the conversation? He could only hope that would be the case. If not… Well, that would be a very awkward date.


Blurr was, to put it mildly, a little nervous.

He walked into the restaurant Jazz had selected. The host led him to an empty table, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Of course, he was too early, but that didn't stop him from looking around for a bot matching the description Jazz gave him (though its specificity left much to be desired) - about your height, mostly black paint job, gold chevron above his optics.

He could hardly believe this would work, considering his scarce experience in terms of romantic endeavours.

Time passed, Autobots came and went from the restaurant, and Blurr was on the brink of losing his sanity when the moment arrived for the date to start.

Another Autobot entered the restaurant. Blurr perked up, looking at the mech who had just walked in. His dark paint job told him this was his blind date. The bot caught sight of him and made his way over to Blurr.

Okay, I'm an Elite Guardsman and an Autobot Intelligence officer! I can do it.

The mech didn't even have time to stand by their table, and Blurr was already on his pedes, greeting him. "You must be Jazz's friend, right?" He held out his servo to the other bot. "I'm sorry I don't know your name, but Jazz didn't want to tell me. But I guess that's the point of a blind date, now that I think about it."

The stranger shook his servo. "Prowl."

"I'm Blurr. It's nice to meet you!" He released Prowl's servo, and the two of them sat down on their chairs. At first glance, Prowl was a strikingly attractive mech with a very elegant paint job, although Blurr couldn't help but be a bit intimidated by his impassive expression. Maybe he wasn't impressed with Blurr? Maybe he was nervous, too? Or maybe it was just how his faceplate was...

Silence stretched between them for a few moments before Prowl broke it. "I didn't want to come here, but Jazz was adamant about having me go. Turning him down was out of the question." He didn't seem thrilled with the idea. Or maybe Blurr wasn't his type? Either way, he'd decided it was best not to push further. They had just met, after all, and Prowl certainly seemed to be somewhat reserved.

After another moment or two of awkward silence, Blurr asked, "How long have you known Jazz?"

"Long enough."

Blurr continued. "What do you think of this place?"

"It definitely wouldn't be my first choice." He looked around the room.

"I can see why. Too many people for my taste."

"You're right about that." There was no inflection in his voice, but Blurr could swear he sensed Prowl's annoyance with him.

"So, what do you like-"

"Look, Blurr, you don't have to bother me with this questionnaire."

His words brought him up short. How was he supposed to get to know him without a series of questions? "Oh, well, um, I guess I just want to get to know you a little better. Isn't that a point of this meeting?"

"I truly wonder why Jazz thought it was a good idea to set us up," Prowl muttered (was Blurr supposed to be offended by that?) before sighing and continuing, "Well, what would you like to know?"

Suddenly, all the questions he wanted to ask seemed pointless and silly. What could he possibly ask? What did he even have in common with this mech? He looked at him again, taking note of his optics boring into him. Or through him. Either way, his faceplate grew a little warmer. There was no denying Prowl's handsome features.

Blurr shifted in his seat. "So… What do you like to do in your free time?"

"Usually some sort of physical activity," he replied simply. "Mainly sparring sessions or parkour."

"Oh, that's... pretty intense..."

Prowl shrugged. "It's not the worst way for me to spend my time."

Blurr couldn't help but notice how he didn't ask him for anything in return. Wasn't that usually the norm? Or maybe he just wasn't interested in Blurr, even in the slightest.

He was surprisingly upset by the concept, and he suddenly felt an irresistible urge to drink something. "Maybe we should go order some drinks?"

"Sounds like a plan," Prowl agreed, looking around, presumably searching for a waiter. "I will pay."

"No, I will. Let me. I insist."

"I can pay. As compensation to you for this suffering," Prowl said flatly.

This suffering? "It's not- a suffering… Please, if you won't let me pay, I'll be a nervous wreck all evening," he blurted out before he could stop himself.

"You already are a nervous wreck, aren't you? That's why we're grabbing drinks."

Was it that obvious? Blurr was certain he was about to combust in humiliation. This is why you don't date! Prowl will go to Jazz after this date and have a good laugh about your social clumsiness!

"I- If you want to go home, I won't be offended," he said lamely. Here is the shortest and also the worst date in the entire history of dating...

Prowl shifted, looking puzzled. "What makes you say that?"

"You're clearly exasperated with me. Y-you said it yourself, this date is a- a torture..."

Blurr's words hung in the air as Prowl looked at him with an unreadable expression. He had no idea what Prowl was thinking, but his spark spun painfully hard as he awaited an answer.

"A torture to you. Jazz asked you to be polite to me, didn't he? You don't have to pretend that you enjoy this forced arrangement."

Blurr blinked at him in bewilderment. What was he talking about? "Jazz didn't ask me to act anything. Why would you say that? Why do you think I'm pretending?"

"He didn't...? Oh." Prowl looked down for a moment, his expression morphing into something a bit softer and definitely conflicted. "I'm… sorry for assuming that, then. It just seems so unlikely that you- Nevermind. Let's get those drinks we were talking about, okay?"

Blurr nodded slowly, confused but relieved. "Okay. But I'm paying."


Perhaps ordering Engex, the strongest stuff on the tap, wasn't the wisest of choices, but both Blurr and Prowl had agreed upon it. It helped the conversation flow, more or less, easily, despite the initial mix-up. Even Prowl's impassive expression turned into something more welcoming.

"Jazz described you as a nice, responsible mech with a stable career," he said, amused, before taking a sip of his drink.

Blurr shook his helm in disbelief. "He really said that? That sounds..." He struggled to think of the best word to describe that. Well, he guessed the statement was technically accurate, but certainly lacked creativity.

"Boring? Uninteresting? Unexciting?" Prowl suggested, smirking. "Without a doubt, all of those."

Blurr chuckled. "Maybe. What's… your take, then? But be honest."

Prowl took another sip, and Blurr did the same. "I can't say I wasn't surprised when I first saw you, that's for sure."

"Oh?" he leaned forward, intrigued. "Why?"

"You're not what I expected at all."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Prowl paused, as if gathering his thoughts, before taking a sip, "I suppose the obvious answer would be that I didn't expect you to be so… well, attractive."

Oh, Primus. Blurr's faceplate warmed up, his processor forgetting how words worked. He suspected it was a by-product of receiving praise from one of the best-looking Autobots he had ever encountered. Or perhaps Engex was to blame.

Prowl continued, apparently unaware of his internal turmoil, "I thought it was a mistake, maybe there was another blue mech sitting somewhere here, but you started talking to me."

Blurr, who had somehow managed to compose himself, summoned the most alluring smile he had in his repertoire, thankful for that liquid courage coursing through his circuitry. "And here I was concerned you found me uncomely. You definitely acted like it, though."

Prowl shot him an apologetic look over his drink. "I don't exactly enjoy forced… social situations. And I honestly believed you were being kind because you were under Jazz's pressure."

"I still don't understand why you would think that," he murmured, playing idly with his suddenly empty cube.

That drew a genuine laugh from Prowl. "Let's just say I'm not used to others being so willing to be nice to me. You're really something else."

Blurr couldn't help but feel flattered and pleased with such an admission. "Thank you."

Prowl smiled. That was an absolutely lovely smile. "I don't tolerate most people very well, you know."

"Me neither," Blurr replied. He stretched his leg under the table and his pede accidentally brushed Prowl's. The small contact sent a wave of warmth through his frame, his spark fluttering.

But as if on cue, his self-consciousness came back, breaking through the bliss of being tipsy, and he withdrew his pede.

"I don't mind," Prowl assured him. "Unless you do?"

Blurr shook his helm. "No."

The other bot hummed before taking a sip of his Engex. He still had some, unlike Blurr. "If I had known that Jazz would set me up with someone like you, he wouldn't have had such a tough time convincing me."

And with that, his servos had made their way towards Blurr's across the table, their digits brushing against each other lightly. It was so gentle and tender, it made him ache for more.

Then Prowl's thumb ran over the sensitive underside of his wrist in slow motion, and Blurr felt his insides sort of melt. He tried to do everything within his power to keep, at least, a straight-ish faceplate. Which wasn't easy, considering Engex in him starting to work all at once at full force, or the way his palm was caressed, making him hot all over. And not to mention seeing Prowl in front of him, so unfairly stunning. So stunning his vision began to swim.

"I think... I can be a bit tipsy," Blurr said after a moment or two. Or maybe he was a little more than just a bit tipsy. Okay, bordering on being quite inebriated was a better way to put it.

Prowl chuckled. "I should've known you wouldn't handle all that Engex that well. After all, you're a nice, responsible mech."

Blurr sulked. "I think you underestimate my Engex threshold!"

Prowl gave a low chuckle again, though it was clear he didn't agree at all. "You don't look nearly as sober as you sound, I'll give you that. Let's get you home."

The thought of ending their date sounded like an unpleasant prospect to Blurr, but he was finding it harder and harder to keep his optics open with every passing nanoklik. He hadn't noticed how much his processor started to feel fuzzy until now.

"No driving for you." Prowl's voice snapped him back to reality. "I'll order a transportation drone."

"I don't live far away. We can walk," Blurr said, squeezing Prowl's servo harder than he intended, but the other bot didn't even seem to notice.

Prowl raised his optical ridge. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely!"

"We shall see about that." He stood up from the table, their servos never letting go of each other. Blurr allowed himself to be pulled upright. He was so close to Prowl and could feel the warmth radiating off his frame. "Ready?"

Blurr nodded, hazy.

Prowl led him out of the restaurant, and then into the street. The world spun as they walked in companionable silence, and it wasn't just because of Engex. Blurr stumbled a bit, but Prowl arrived just in time to loop an arm around his backplates. His sparkbeat jumped at the contact, his faceplate growing warm in the instant.

"Lead the way."

And so Blurr did. The walk was far shorter than he would have liked it to be, though he supposed time passed by quickly in this kind of company. They made it to Blurr's apartment, and Prowl insisted on making the trek upstairs for him. When they finally reached his door, Blurr swallowed nervously, suddenly fearing Prowl wouldn't want to see him again.

"So..." he started, refusing to look at Prowl. "Thanks for walking me home."

"It was no problem... I guess it's- goodbye, then...?"

Blurr looked up, surprised to hear the tinge of disappointment in his tone. "It is not goodbye forever. I mean, if you want to continue seeing me. N-not that I'm suggesting-"

Prowl cut him off. "I'd like that."

Blurr's spark filled with hope and warmth and a thousand other things he wasn't sure how to name, all at once. His optics lingered on Prowl's lipplates, wishing they were pressed against his own.

"So, since it's time to say goodbye, could I give you a, um, you know... Can I...?" kiss you? Blurr trailed off awkwardly as he realized he wasn't sure how to phrase his question out loud. He hoped the other bot had grasped his meaning.

Prowl chuckled softly, amused. "I think I might just say yes." He stepped closer and placed his servos on Blurr's waist. He leaned down slightly, and soon their lipplates met.

Blurr melted into his kiss, wrapping his arms around Prowl's neck. Soon, their servos wandered over their frames, soothing any tension left between them. The kiss deepened, their lipplates moving slowly, savouring each other's taste and warmth before parting.

Blurr sighed with relief and joy. This was perfect. Even though they just met today... Their servos found each other, and it felt so natural and right as if he'd done this a million times before.

"I suppose I'll leave now," Prowl murmured against Blurr's lipplates, "before I lose control of myself entirely."

He hummed in agreement, though it took all of his willpower not to pull the other bot back into another passionate kiss.

Prowl smiled. "Goodnight, Blurr." He leaned in to place a chaste kiss on Blurr's cheekplates. And with that, he was gone, leaving behind the soft sound of his pedsteps.

Blurr let out a deep sigh, and it took him a moment to realize he was grinning like an idiot.


End Note:

The title is based on "Ain't that a kick in the head?" by Dean Martin ;)