ChangingFaces5

Changing Faces

Part 5

[Disclaimer: Squaresoft 0wnz everything and I 0wnz my stuffed bunny and Jules Artica]

Exploring the void

The trees whisled to the midnight wind, who was involved in a gentle amorous flirt with their leaves. The widely scattered stars joined the company of the lonely full moon, to follow the two young people walking on the deserted grassy plains. Their presence was the only remarkable feature of the dark landscape. Their voices unheard, their movements just as silent, though within there was a whirlwind of questions, ponderings and doubts.

A young man and woman. Walking as if it they were on a pleasant midnight stroll, with no monsters lurking from behind every tree. A sorceress and a knight, though not related in any way. Heading for the shimmering lights of the approaching city in the distance.

Both were unsure of the other's presence, silently throwing accusations at each other. Not so many months ago they stood before each other in battle and now were walking next to one another. How were they to intreprent this sudden twist of fate.

They finally reached the city entrance, a large sign welcoming them to the city of night. Their attitude changed slightly now they were on familiar terrain. The unease seemed to loosen a bit, fading into curiousity. Neither of them wished to talk just yet and unwilling to set a destination, they kept on walking, even after they reached the city they silently planned on.

The streetlight allowing him to see her face, he stole her a sidewards glance to study her face, in her moment of pondering. Her delicate profile gazing at the ashfalt ground, thick strands of black covered her eye from him. Her entire attitude breathed a sense of depression and apathy, as though her will and spirit were consumed in a misty indiffrence. She suddenly held still, but remained silent. Walking a step back, he turned to face her.

He spoke first. "Why are you here Rinoa?"

Her apathical look turned to sadness. "Maybe because of the same reason you are here Seifer," she spoke, her voice a bit unsteady. He noticed the absence of the familiar girly clear tone of hers. Her voice sounded as if she was tired and had lived through too much.

How would she know why he was here? How would she know about being defeated and decieved? He glanced at her face, he saw a suspicious shimmering in her eyes. Maybe he was wrong, maybe she really was here for the same reasons.

Before he had a chance to answer she turned to walk away through some trees and bushes surrounding Deling Park. After a few seconds of hesitation he ran after her. He just caught a glimpse of the blue fabric of her dress disappearing through the trees. Once again he followed her.

As he pushed the tree branches away with his to make his way through the bushes, he wondered why he was here and not in his hotel with Fujin and Rajin. Why was he here in the darkness, running after the person who once tried to kill him. The one who betrayed him.

Trying to ignore the sarcastic voices in his head, he ran through the dark trees. Finally he saw her standing in front of a gate. He advanced and laid a hand on her shoulder. She didn't turn, she just watched the massive iron gates in silence.

"It's not time yet, I can't go," she finally spoke, he noticed the sadness in her voice.

"Time for what?" he asked as in a whisper.

"Just that it's not the time, time will come, as always. Just not now," she said. Finally she turned to face him. He glanced down at her face, a strange paleness colored her cheeks. But that didn't effect her beauty in any way, her delicate features that once had caught his attention, were the same. Nothing had changed, except for her eyes. The sparkle that once had caught his eye had vanished into the depths of these chocolate-brown eyes. Her face was now dominated by a lacksture glance, they seemed more dull, older as if they had seen too much.

He didn't understand what she was saying and somehow he knew that asking her wouldn't make a difference. Maybe he wasn't suppose to understand. Once more he asked himself why he was standing here in the dark what seemed to be a cementary, with her.

"I understand," he lied.

For the second time since met her high up in the mountain, a smile broke unto her weary face. Her eyes narrowed as her smile widened. "No you don't Seifer," she said, shaking her head. "But you will in time."

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked.

The smile in her eyes disappeared in an instant, but to his suprise, he was glad the sad look didn't appear instead. There was something seriously wrong here, what did he care if she was sad or not? She turned and walked away once again.

I'm not going to follow her anymore, if she doesn't want to tell, fine, I don't care.

She held still to turn around. "Don't you want to hear the story?"

Seifer smoothed his hair back with his gloved hand more out of habit than vainity, a slight grin appearing on his face as he ran after her.

* * * *

Quistis watched the shimmering lights of Deling City in the distance, as Selphie piloted the Ragornak to a steady landing-spot near the city. Not much later she heard a familiar thump to announce their arrival in Galbadia. Everyone gathered on the grassy fields, just outside Deling City when everybody turned to look at Quistis. The question in their eyes didn't need to be voiced, however it did expect an answer.

Did she actually have a plan? No, their instructor had brought them here in a hostile land, without the slightest idea of next the thing to do. Maybe they were really right after all. She had no leader qualifications whatsoever. Driven by worry and fear, she had acted on impulse, now she stood here with her brothers and sisters, facing an unknown enemy. All she had been thinking of was what Squall would be thinking now, would he blame them for her action. But how could he not understand, while her action was based on the same motives as he had.

Now glancing around the grassy plains of Galbadia, she whished Squall would be here to help her, she wished to hear his voice ordering them to their next course of action, she wished for a plan Squall would have made, she needed his support in this mission. But this wasn't just a mission, was it? It was a crusade against injustice and his stubborn love, and this was the one thing he could never help her with.

When she glanced at the faces of her teammates, her war-buddies, her friends, she realized that she was their leader now. That they would accept and trust every word leaving her beatuiful lips. They would step in a sea of fire, if she asked them to do so, without even questioning her motives. For the first time in her life, she understood Squall's reluctance about leadership.

Quistis was mistaken, Squall was the one person to help her with this. All she needed to do was close her eyees and envision Squall standing next to her. With the familiar frown on his face, she only needed to follow his course of thinking and her answer would be there.

Believe in your friends existence and they will believe in yours.

Quistis knew that Squall believed in her and she on her turn had her faith in Squall, she believed in every single bone of his body.

"We're going to see Caraway, even if she isn't with him, he most likely will be the one to know where she is," Quistis said in a pragmatic tone.

Everyone nodded without saying a single word, silently accepting the order from her. It was not only for Squall she needed to bring this problem to an end, it was also for the lives of these young people walking beside her.

Everyone seemed to deal with their own inner thoughts, as no one spoke a word on their way to Caraway's mansion. The dull sound of their footsteps on the concrete footpath and the noises of the cars and people rushing by them were the only sounds heard. The streets were full of people but no one took notice of the four young disturbed SeeDs passing them by. Everyone was dealing with their own problems, to them saving a hero meant nothing.

Not until he's gone forever.

She couldn't possibly imagine that there could be people who wouldn't care if Squall died. That there actually were those who could sleep without tossing and turning and thinking of what was to happen for a second.

They finally reached the gates to Caraway's Mansion. Suprisingly enough there was no guard guarding the place. It seemed odd that a man of general Caraway's status, should leave his mansion unguarded. Despite Timber's liberation, there were still people who held a grudge against him.

The party held still and everyone glanced at Quistis once more, waiting for a descision of her. And as a silent agreement she walked in first leading her team-mates in. When she reached the familiar oak-door door, she rung the copper antique bell to announce their presence. Maybe this door was to be their door for all the answer and solutions they would need.

After what seemed an eternity the door was finally opened, but just a little to show the face of an elder woman dressed in a black and white servants uniform, hiding behind the door she sized them up, with a cautious look on her face.

"What can I do for you?" sounded her voice, trembling with age.

"We've come to see the general," Quistis replied.

The woman tried to close the door, but Quistis who saw what she was trying to do, squeezed her foot in the doorpost before it was closed. She saw the panic in the woman's eyes, if it were a different situation and under different circumstances, she never would have tried to take advantage of it, but this was no ordinary mission and there were just situations which required a harsh approach.

She pushed her way into the door, making the old lady trip. Immediatly Quistis bent down to help her on her feet again. Glancing down at the startled and somewhat shocked woman, she tried to explain her behavior.

"Listen, we are not enemies of the general. We're SeeDs from Garden and we've come all the way here for a reason. This is not a trivial matter, please take us to the general or I will search this house up side down until I find him, I can assure you that we will not leave until we've spoken to him," Quistis said, with a persistent look on her face.

The lips of her team-mates formed themselves into a silent 'o', startled to watch their friend in this manner.

The old woman nodded and agreed to bring them to see the general. Quistis didn't see the surprise on the face of her friends as she was caught up in her thoughts of what to say to the general when they would meet him. The woman led them through a hallway, poorly lit up by a single lamp, emitting a faint light. The Trabia-wooden dressoirs and doors were the only decorations. The interior of this mansion gave her an uncomfortable feeling. Which suprised her, she had come here before but never had she felt herself unsave in this house. The entire interior seemed unfamiliar even though she had seen it a few times. She was sure something was different in this, an invisble change, but yet strong enough to sense.

The woman turned when they reached the end of the hallway and motioned them to step back, as she turned again to knock on the door. After a clear 'come in' by what was unmistakbly Caraway's voice, she entered the room, closing the door behind her back.

"That's damn rude," Zell muttered under his breath. No one responded to his remark as they all seemed to be elsewhere with their minds.

After what seemed a minute the door was opened and the old lady appeared on the doorstep once again. The suspiscion in her eyes had disappeared, instead their was now a sympatatic look in her faint grey eyes.

"You may come in," was her short remark. Quistis unconsciously tightend the grip on her whip as they all entered the room. After a quick glance around the room, she noticed this had to be the general's official office. But strangely enough it didn't seem like a regular place, where officials would work in, there were masses of papers spread around the entire room, clothes lay on the floor as if they were carelessly thrown there by someone and the stuffy smell told her that this room wasn't ventialated for days.

Why would a man of Caraway's status stay in a place like this. The few times Quistis had met him, he appeared a strict man to her, fully aware of his position and all that came with it.

There he was, gazing out of the window with his back to her, his hands folded behind his back. After a long sigh he turned to face them

He seemed different. The last time she saw him, he had seemed more vital. She rememberd his swift walk when he gave his instruction on the sorceress assassination, the determence in his eyes when he reminded them to give everything they had in this mission. But they didn't and had failed miserably instead.

"Sir, we're here . . . . ," she said as he did not speak, but Caraway vigoursly motioned her not to speak. He pulled his jacket a little wider for her to see a small device attached to the black fabric on the inside.

Someone was recording their conversation?

"Yes I know very well why you're here. I'll say it for the millionth time, I do not have the time to deal with students asking me for favours all the time, I'm not a charity institution."

A startled look stole over her face. What was this? She watched the general grabbing a notebook on the the desk behind him and noting something down. When he was finished he handed her the notebook.

We're being recorded. For Hyne's sake, don't mention you're from garden.

Keep talking. He'll know.

Is it about Rinoa? Is she safe?

Who will know what? Quistis took the pen out of his hand and wrote something down. "B-but, I just need a small favour general. I need money for my education, so if you could just hire me," she spoke aloud, playing along.

Squall is in danger. We don't know where Rinoa is.

We came looking for her, we have to find her fast.

Who is recording this?

"I have plently of men serving me, why would I want to hire you?" Quistis noticed a slight sign of relief on his face when he read her note. Was he so happy to hear that Squall was in danger?

Don't look for her, please. She needs to stay away from Garden.

Now leave. I have nothing further to say to you.

"Because I'll do whatever it takes to accomplish my goal," Quistis said out loud, glancing up from the note in her hand to meet his gaze. "With or without your help."

The general sighed as he watched how the young woman standing in front of him turned and walked out of the door.

Rinoa is safe . . . . . for now.

* * * *

"Seifer what have you done all this time?"

Starled by her question he looked up from the piece of wood he was sharpening with his pocket-knife. It was not the question itself which suprised him, but the sincereness he heard in her voice. She didn't turn her face towards him, but instead gazed into the darkness of the empty park. After they had met again on the mountain, she had told him that she was residing in Galbadia hotel, same one he was staying with in Rajin and Fujin.

Somehow they boh seemed reluctant to go back to their hotel, for some unknown reasons they decided to wander around the city a bit and ended up sitting on this bench in Deling City park. Besides the few parklamps the park was covered in darkness. They had been sitting silently next to each other for a while, when she suddenly asked him this question. It didn't seem as if she was trying to get some information out of him to give to Squall.

She seemed as if she was a girl, sitting next to him enjoying the warm summer-evening, intrested in what he had to say. But she wasn't just a girl, right? She was the most powerful sorceress of this era, Squall's girl, practically a member of SeeD, so how could she be intrested in what he had to say?

"Not much, fooling around," he replied. Yeah, that was basically what he's life was about these days. Fishing, drinking and hanging out. The first day he had enjoyed it, he was loving the careless laughters he heard coming from his throat. He was surprised to see he had missed just hanging out with his posse. He had thought being a sorceress knight was the highlight of his life, that nothing could possibly replace this feeling of power and greatness.

But after all as the mist of power cleared, he saw his two friends standing beside him. For the first time in his life he realized that they were a part of him, his confidence was always based on them. Even though this dependance filled him with fright, it also comforted him in a strange way. Everything was now they were suppose to, his posse walking behind him, ready to follow him to where ever his thoughts might bring them.

After catching up with lost time of fun, he realized that fun wasn't why he was on this earth. He realized that fishing wasn't his dream, he realized that looking forward to another day of sitting in a bar wasn't his definition of a future.

He had been waiting for an oppurtunity to seize, in his sub-conscious he was hoping that chance was going to knock on his hotel-door, ordering him to a life of recognizition. He knew this and he hated it, he hated this despicable feeling of fright for choosing another path, to make another descision that might result in him ending up in another bar. But despite his fear for the unknown he wouldn't wait for fate to give him a break, he didn't care whether it was written in stars that he was suppose to sit and drown in an ocean of sorrow. Everything that is written can be erased in a single wipe, he wouldn't drown, he would swim to surface and higher.

"I see."

No she didn't, but she would in time, she would see the fallen eagel fly again. He shook his head. Why did he care whether she saw him arise again or not, why did he care that she was there to see him? The whys he did not know, but he knew that it was somehow important that he erased every trace of her picture of him as the tragic knight.

"You will," he said.

Before she could reply to his comment they saw a man in the distance, kneeling in front of the Deling statue, as though he wanted to pay his respects to the fallen president. After a while he got up and with a nod he left the statue.

"Talking about being a fan," Seifer remarked.

"I wonder why he did that. I thought everyone in Galbadia was glad they were rid of Deling, the man was a tyran," she said, he heard the familiar anger in her voice.

He rememberd how serious she took the Forest Owls, how passionate she had been about her cause. Maybe that's what drew him to her, why he did everything in his might to help her, they seemed alike. Both were fighting for something they believed in, he for his dream and she for hers.

But they weren't alike, he saw that now. Between them was a world of difference, she could change her ideals. She had accomplished one goal, now she would drift off to another one. With him things were different of course. His ideals concerned his life, and he would never be done with one. When he reached where he wanted to be, he'd have to fight the rest of his life to maintain his position, to fight for his throne. How could he say they were alike?

But despite all that, he realized that he was pleased to hear the passion return in her voice once more.

"He wasn't," Seifer said, still busy sharpening the branch in his hand. "He was a moron in fact, he wouldn't be anywhere without the sorceress, she was the only one in charge."

"Well, I still don't free him from all blame," she responded.

"Are you still intending on telling me why you're here?" Seifer asked suddenly after a pause, turning his head to face her but before their eyes met, she turned her glance to the starlit sky above.

"I couldn't stay in Garden anymore," Rinoa replied after a long pause. Her hand reached unconsciously for the rings on her neckalce, as though they would give her encourgment to continue. Her fingers stroked the delicate engravings of Griever. All she had of him was now Griever, with that thought she continued.

"For a while I thought that maybe there would be some happiness after the world was saved. Maybe some time to work on our own inner worlds. And for a while we did. I should have known things were going too well, after all the things I've seen in the past year, I should have known that nothing was what it seemed. The home I thought I finally had found seemed to be nothing more than me forcing it into a realisation of a wish."

"What happened then?"

"Squall told me to leave. He told me stories about how things weren't suppose to be like this, that he didn't love me, that I wouldn't be happy here. Without even thinking about what he was saying I understood one clear message, just leave me. Leave me alone. And even that is acceptable."

"But . . . . ?"

"But . . . there was something else he was not telling me. Instead he told me a lie, he lied to me as if his life depened on it. I clearly remember the despair in his eyes when I refused to accept his explanations, I remember him thinking of one excuse after another, all this effort, just to get rid of me. Well, I cannot force affection, so I had no choice but to pack up and leave another illusion mistaken for reality."

So Squall had dissed her! Even though there was something in him which made him think that wasn't all of it. Was she just upset because her boyfriend dumped her? So she had come here to cry about him? Somehow it didn't seem like this was just another teenproblem of a boyfriend leaving his girl. There was a deeper meaning to all this, and his instinct told him there was something improtant going on. But then again, should he trust something as vague and untrustworthy as his instinct?

As though a thought had told her, Rinoa suddenly stood up and walked a few feet away from him. Folding her arms in front of her chest she just stood there with her back towards him, to overlook the dim park in silence. The evening breeze picked her willing locks up in the air, waving them out in the air. She stood there a feet or two away from the parklamp, casting a faint glow on part of her body. For some strange reason this sight caught him in fascination, his eyes were drawn to the young woman standing before him. Half in the light and slowly fading into the darkness, she stood there as though she was contemplating whether to step into the light or hide in the safe comfort of darkness.

He shook his head, was he really changing his view on her?

* * * *

"I believe I'm missing something here," Irvine remarked, throughly confused, "we entered the room for information about Rinoa and you end up exchanging notes and asking him for money."

"Yeah, we've got plenty of gil to buy up a town like Winhill!" added Selphie, casting her big hazel eyes at her former instructor in confusion.

"Listen, this is what happened," Quistis spoke, "You saw that little device he showed us on his jacket. Well someone is obviously recording his conversations. In order to fool whoever was listening, we had to carry on a conversation."

"What did he say on the notes?" asked Irvine.

"Nothing that can be much of help, only that we have to stay away from Rinoa. Caraway doesn't know where she is and he is very eager for us not to find out either."

"Why's that?" asked Zell her.

Quistis sighed. "I don't know, I honestly don't know. There is just so many mysteries a mind can handle, in fact I don't even know if I have the strentgh to pursue just another one."

"So where are we going next?" Zell asked, obviously tired of the lack of action.

Quistis paused and her familiar thoughtful look appeared on her face. In where Squall's pensive looks seemed authoritive and not to be mocked with, Irvine couldn't help but finding the way Quistis bit on her lower lip and knitted her brows, extremely cute. Though he valued his life enough not to remark it.

Bossy little Quisty, standing there with determence in her gorgeous blue eyes. He couldn't help but feel admiration when he saw her passion to save Squall. She would die for him, right? Do anything for someone who would never return her love, it made her all the more noble in his eyes. He loved her, that much he had realized in these past few days. How could he not love the fire in her eyes, though saddned that this flame would go wasted and was most likely to die out in a whimper, never noticed by those who should.

Finally she woke up from her slumber of thoughts and eyed them one by one, until she settled her glance at Irvine, as if he was the only one who could support her mentally in this. "We are going to Timber. We'll do some check-ups, ask around her old friends. Surely Watts and Zone must know about her whereabouts. We will be taking off in an hour, be sure to buy up some neccessities for your equipement and . . . . take a rest."

"I'm gonna look for new issues of Combat Kings, who's gonna come with me?" Zell said.

"Sure, I'm coming," Selphie replied, she turned to look at Quistis and Irvine. "You guys coming?"

"No, I'll just wait up here and rest," Quistis said.

"How 'bout you Irvy?"

"Nah, I think I'll just stay here with Quistis."

"Okay, see ya." Selphie ran off towards the Deling City shopping centre, with Zell following close behind her.

Quistis walked towards an old rusty iron bench, across of Caraway's mansion, as she sat, Irvine seated next to her. The wind blew her gold brands in her face, it felt like how a sick man must feel when a wet towel is pressed against his forehead. Grateful she inhaled the evening air. She placed her elbows on her knees, creating with her hands a resting place for her cheeks. Quistis breathed a sigh of weariness.

All the while, Irvine eyed her from aside, gazing at her heated cheeks, the gold of her hair falling in her weary face, her delicate facial features compressed in thought. His fingers unconsciously wandered to her back. They sat there for a while, silently, his hand gently stroking her back and shoulder in comfort, playing with some escaped strands of her blonde hair.

"Three days have passed," she spoke up absent-mindly, "27 days left, actually three weeks, five days and three hours."

"Don't do this," Irvine said, the firm tone in his voice sounded unfamiliar.

"Do what?"

"This, your constant mental panic," he said. "It cannot be good. You are trying so hard to penetrate this negativeness in your mind, to convince yourself of the urgency, because you are afraid you'll loose your prespective in your grief."

She sat there, facing away from him, silently listening to his words.

"Remember when you told me Squall didn't need your tears but a chance of life," he continued. "You were wrong Quistis, he needs both, your love is what's going to give him life in the end. Focus on your love, think of the good things, think of why you need to go through all this again, as that is the only thing to save him."

Quistis finally turned to him, her blue eyes seemed darker in the faint light of the streetlamps. On her face lay an expression of gratitude and surprise. Irvine smiled shyly and somewhat embarrased about his outburst. But she shoved a bit closer to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest. Her gesture had put hum off-guard and was unsure of what to think of this sudden act of intimacy. But he put his arm around her, as if to shelter her from the wind howling through the streets of night-time Deling City.

"I love you," she whispered.

I wish you really would

"Oh well, who doesn't?."

* * * *

[Author's note: Ok, I promise some more action in the next chapter. In fact I've already finished it, I just need to edit some stuff. You know, it always amazes me that people read my notes, it means that they've actually read the story. I'm always on the verge of pressing that 'delete' button and spare some valuable webspace from this literary garbage. But I do thank you for sacrifcing your valuable time with reading this story and by all means do feel free to critize this. I'm not very sensitive, so I can handle some constructive critism, I beg for it in fact. Oh this is not going to be a RinoaxSeifer fic, I've never liked to divide stories into pairing categories. I liked to see it as story of individuals. Ok, I'll stop rambling, and remember, the rabbit did it!]