TITLE: Good Sex and Straight Teeth
AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: Buffy just *has* to talk about Riley.
SPOILER: S4 Buffy 'till Goodbye, Iowa, then it becomes my own little world.
DISTRIBUTION: Sandee, of course - My site - http://planetslaythis.homestead.com - Crystal and Butterfly if they want it - A Soul's Redemption - Anyone else - sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =)
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-PG
DISCLAIMER: Joss the ass owns the characters. I hate him. Do You is by Jewel. It just seemed right for this. Topolsky and any other Roswellian characters mentioned belong to Jason Katims, my current favorite TV screenwriter.



"Let's start at the beginning," Ms. Topolsky said. "You're new at Roswell High, so I want to get everything straightened out about your past before I allow you to enroll here at our school."

"Well, firstly, I'm not really in high school anymore," Buffy admitted. "I'm only here to meet Max and make sure he and Liz get together and stay together."

"Interesting." the guidance counselor made a notation in her file. "Tell me why you feel such a passion for those two."

"Well," Buffy leaned back and put her feet on the desk. "I've sort of been through a long list of bad relationships myself."

"Really. You seem quite content."

"Oh I am, now that I'm married." she touched her Claddagh ring protectively. "It's just.....first there was the Ascension which I felt really bad about because even though I saved alot of people, I couldn't save everyone and alot of people I really cared about died during that whole thing. Okay, not really cared about, but I knew them! Anyways, it was all downhill after that. My friend almost went away to school and then she stayed because of me and was totally miserable here and wound up leaving anyway and it was harder because we'd already gotten so used to rooming together and all. But I'm getting ahead of myself because this is about Riley."

"Riley?" Ms. Topolsky asked. "Is she your roommate?"

"No, Riley's a guy. Well, sort of. And I should say 'was', because Riley is dead."

"Do you wanna tell me what happened?"

"Not really," she admitted.

"Buffy, I have to be honest with you, it will be a great help to both you and I if you can get everything off of your chest now. If you enter Roswell High without burdens weighing you down, you'll feel much better."

"The only thing I wanna feel at Roswell High is Max Evans and his lips." she admitted. "But I'm a married woman and that'll never happen."

"So let's talk about Riley," she took her glasses off and stared at Buffy. "How did you meet?"

"I dropped a psyche book on his head from three feet up. Nearly killed him. He wound up being my TA that first semester and I didn't really think it would work out, but we sort of started to date.

"After awhile, I found out that Riley had some....interesting after school activities."

"Like what?"

"Well, he was working for this group called The Initiative. It was a military backed group of vigilantes taking the street law into their own hands."

"Street law?" Topolsky was confused as all Hell now.

"You know, vampires, demons, all of that shit."

"Not really. My specialty is aliens."

"I know," Buffy said and that shocked Topolsky. "I know more than you think I do."

"Well, let's keep going with this story, we're making great progress so let's see where it leads."

"Okay," Buffy shrugged. "So I sort of joined Riley and his stupid crusaders, but I didn't really realize what I was getting into. I really thought it was just this great group that was all for helping people and stuff but it turns out they were capturing and harboring demons so they could be sent places and turned into other demons. They built this super demon and it almost killed me. It did kill a lot of people, including an innocent little boy."

"That's terrible. How did you get out?"

"I didn't," Buffy explained. "That's why I'm here."

"I don't think I understand."

"Then I'll explain it to you. This is one of my dreams. It is also your dream and someone else's dream though that person, I am not sure who they are. I died when I burned down the building that held the Initiative. It was the only way to kill everyone involved and make them understand everything I was going through. Plus, Riley had to pay for hurting me. Can you believe all the time he was seeing me he was also seeing two guys? Anyways, I was supposed to get out of the building when it blew up but it didn't happen. And I wound up here."

"Here?"

"Yeah. I'm putting people that belong together together. That's why I'm here. I'm putting Max with Liz and Maria with Michael and Isabel with my friend Xander."

"I don't understand."

"You're not supposed to. God knows I never did."


//Hey you say you like the way cowboys

Tip their hats and say

"How's it goin' ma'am?"

But you're never quite clear if their gazes

Are sincere 

Or really only just second hand

To you it's all roses, it's a lavender haze

The man is a marvel

But it's a shame about his brains

But that's okay - you say

"He's got straight teeth and it's good sex."


You look to the sky

You look to the man

You claim innocence and not to understand

Or do you?

Do you?


There's a big man wearing a white suit

And patent leather shoes

He wants to take his monkeys to see

The kids at the zoo

'Cause the gypsy on the cover said

"Hey Mister, you can't lose."

And it's your first day at the track

You feel that heat on your back

We all want to find a way

To beat the system

Find some rhythm in the madness 

Get down on your knees and pray

Say "I'll do whatever you want, God"

Just let me have my way

Well, will you?

Will you?

We claim innocence and not to understand
But do we?

Do we?\\