Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers. I am not making any profit from this, I am just a hopeless fan girl with no life. Minx and Glitch are my creations.

- ARE THEY OR AREN'T THEY? -

(The set is in Studio 3 of the Saillune Network. Standard talk show setting. Comfortable, stylishly elegant seats, bright lighting, a large video screen on the background wall, furniture sets, paintings, coffee tables placed around for effect)

(Onstage: A rather cute girl with braided glossy pink hair sporting an ice blue tank top holds a host's mike. Beside her stands a Shinji look-alike guy wearing a white polo t-shirt, still figuring out how he got there, and why the hell he's holding a mike)

Minx: Welcome, everyone, to today's talk show, Slayers Revealed!
(All cheer, clap)

Minx: (bowing) Thank you, thank you.

Glitch: (clueless) Huh?

Minx: (jabbing him) We're on air, dummy!

Glitch: (realizing it) Oh! H-hey there, people.

Minx: (fighting a sweatdrop) Now, for those of you who have just tuned in, or are wondering what the heck you are doing in here, well, too bad, 'cause I won't be showing you the door any time soon! Yeah, I have gone crazy!

Glitch: Our show for today deals with the most as such disputed pairing in Slayers tv! Who, you say? (Like you didn't read the summary, duh) Xellos and Filia!
(cheers)

Minx: Could Xellos and Filia be an actual -- dare we say it -- romantic couple? Or are we poor fans just wasting our time writing horribly mushy, saccharine-sweet fics, with the occasional lemon--

Glitch: Uh, Minx...

Minx: Gomen.

Glitch: So, yeah, right, there are like TONS of fics out there pairing them together. But so far no one has attempted to actually ask them in person, right?

Minx: Just as we are now about to do! We did this first! Hahahaha!!!

Glitch: Minx...

Minx: Uhurm. So everyone, Are They Or Aren't They? Let us now call on our two special guests for tonight's show!

Glitch: Right, Minx. Does Xellos love Filia? Does Filia love Xellos?

Minx: Now the truth -- straight from the couple's mouths!

(Backstage)
Filia: What couple?!!!
Xellos: Shh, Filia, can't you hear she's introducing us?
Filia: Nama--

(Onstage)
Glitch: She's our favorite tea-loving Ryuzoku, ex-priestess of the Fire Dragon King, and adoptive mother of the Ancient Valgaav--

(Backstage)
Filia: That reminds me, I hope Gravos and Jiras remember to change him every--

(Onstage)
Glitch: Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Ms. Filia Ul Copt!

(Filia appears, camera focus, claps and cheers from audience)


Filia: (Bows politely, flashes golden smile) Konnichi-wa, everyone.

Minx: He's the fifth most powerful Mazoku in existence, general-priest of Zelas Metallium, purple-haired trickster, masochist--

Glitch: Ahem!!!

Minx: -- Mr. Xellos Metallium!

(camera zoom to Xellos, who teleports onstage, trademark Staff in hand, cheers and claps from the audience)

Xellos: (Waves, flashes trademark Secretive Smile) Hello. ^_^

Minx: So tell me, what drove you two to answer to Glitch's incessant begging to get you to guest in our show?

Xellos: (smile, one eye open) Sorewa himitsu desu!

Filia: (glares at Xellos) I don't know about that-- that Mazoku. But I mainly came here to make it clear that I do not whatsoever have feelings for that -- that--

Xellos: (wagging finger) Temper, temper, Filia-chan. ^_^

Filia: Don't call me that!!!

Glitch: Actually, I sort of got some outside help --

(in background, Filia and Xellos are still fighting, Filia begins to transform into a dragon)

Minx: (eyeing Filia, smiles nervously) W-which reminds me, Glitch! Isn't it time for a commercial break?

Xellos: (sweatdropping) Ne, Filia-CHAN --

Filia: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! (Filia is about to finish transformation, stage is bathed in golden light, furniture begins shaking)

Glitch: (clueless) But Minx, we're just getting started--

Minx: We'll be back after these messages!

Filia: (over break music) XELLOSSSSS!!!

(screen fade)

-COMMERCIALS-

Amelia: (jumping up from some high area, doing justice pose #315) Put Justice in your everyday life!
(twirls off Sailormoon-transformation style, waves crashing in the background)
Amelia: (starry-eyed) Introducing... The Justice Stars Breakfast Cereal!
(screen shift, out pops Amelia holding a humongous box of Justice Stars Breakfast Cereal, a bowl of star-shaped, sugar-frosted corn mush thingies soaked in milk, with Amelia in justice pose #156 smiling approvingly)
Amelia: Yes! Have Justice in your daily diet!
Voice Over: Justice Stars Breakfast Cereal contains 30% of your Recommended Daily Allowance of vitamins A, B, D, K, J, B12, Zinc, Iron, Magnesium, Calcium, Potassium, Metallium -- hey, where'd that come from?!
Voice Over 2: The author ran out of ideas so she decided to cut this out.
Voice Over: Eh?
Voice Over 2: Either that or she just got sick of Amelia.
Amelia: What? But I'm just going to the part where I declare how eating Justice Stars Breakfast Cereal shall provide us all the energy we need to crush all evil--
Voice Over: Wrap it up, your Highness.
Amelia: (dejected) Oh, OK. (brightening up instantly, resorting to justice pose #24) Start your day with a healthy dose of Justice! Buy Justice Stars Breakfast Cereal today! (fireworks are set off in the background)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Author's Rants: WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!! So, what do you think? Wanna tell me the pointlessness of this fic? To Amelia fans: Ignore Voice Over 2. I like Amelia, I really do. I really just ran out of ideas... (sweatdrop) Hehe. Comments, suggestions, criticisms, violent reactions, and marriage proposals are welcome.

Done?

OK, ON TO THE NEXT PAGE, THEN... ^_^