Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers. I am not making any profit from this, I am just a hopeless fan girl with no life. Minx and Glitch are my creations.
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(Back on the set. Everything looks normal, though a little worse for wear, thanks mainly to a certain Ryuzokus's mad rampage not too long ago. The two hosts are thankfully alive. Xellos is sitting comfortably across a rather irate Filia, cherry smile plastered on his face.)
Minx: (sunny grin) Hiya, we're back again in today's infamous talk show, Slayers Revealed!
Glitch: Boy, and I must say I'm lucky to be alive.
Minx: So far, Xellos and Filia haven't confessed their eternal love and devotion to each other... yet.
(Xellos and Filia sweatdrop smile)
Glitch: (sigh) And after all we put them up with.
Minx: (does an Amelia-like pose) But know what? We're NOT giving up! I vow that these two will be officially together by the end of the show!!! In the name of TRUE LOVE, Xel-kun and Filia shall and will be together!!! (waves crash dramatically in the background)
Glitch: (clapping, wipes a tear) Beautiful, Minx.
Xellos: Ne, Filia, but do you think this girl could somehow be related to Amelia? ^_^*
Filia:(shrug, turn away) I'm not talking to you.
Xellos: (twitch) Suit yourself, Fi-chan. ^_^***
Filia: (glare) And would you PLEASE stop calling me that!!!
Minx: (recovering from Amelia mode) You two could deny your feelings for each other as much as you like, but you can't hide anything from Minx the Mighty!
Filia: (perplexed look) .... 'Minx the Mighty'?
Xellos: (sweatdrop smile, to Glitch) Oh, dear, I'm afraid this little talk show had unhinged your partner's brain cells a bit.. ^_^*
Glitch: Minx's been through a lot of stress lately.
Minx: (turning to them) This is your last chance, Xellos, Filia. What exactly do you feel for each other? I mean, you hate each other, then you save each other, then you ogle each other--
Glitch: Which reminds me, why did Mr. Xellos ogle Ms. Filia if he--
Minx: (death glare) Not now, Glitch.
Glitch: (backing off) O-OK.
Filia: Well, my stand on this is obvious. And I would be more than happy to finally leave after this and never see that fruitcake's face ever again.
Minx: So you're saying that there's absolutely *nothing* going on between the two of you?
Filia: (shrug) Of course. Do you expect someone like me to feel anything for that namagomi?
Xellos: (Smile TM) Not that I would want anything to do with a short-tempered, selfish lizard, either. ^_^*
Minx: (pleading look) Nothing?
(answered by simultaneous head shakes from the two guests)
Minx: (pressing on) Not even one teeny, tiny bit of feeling... ?
(resolute head shakes)
Minx: (twitch) Absolutely nothing?!
(more resolute head shakes)
Glitch: (looking nervously at Minx's obviously irritated form) Uh-oh...
Minx: (twitch) Why?
Xellos and Filia: (sweatdrop) Eh?
Minx: (twitch, twitch) Tell me why... (death glare at Xellos and Filia)
(takes a menacing step at the two sweatdropping guests, is stopped by Glitch)
Glitch: (trying to hold her secure from where she was struggling to get free) Minx! Calm down!
Minx: (twitching in annoyance) Let me at them! Let me at them!
Xellos: (to Filia) On second thought, maybe she's related to you, Fi-chan. She sure has quite a temper. ^_^
Filia: (glare) You never quit, do you?
Xellos: Not when it's you, Filia-chan. ^_^
Minx: (calming down, sighing in exasperation) They're at it again?!
Glitch: Minx...
Xellos: (to Minx) Ne, but I don't see why you bothered setting us up in a talk show. You should have anticipated that Fi-chan would blatantly deny our pairing. In spite of her own personal... thoughts. ^_^
Glitch: (puzzled) Eh? What do you mean by that, Mr. Xellos?
(Xellos grins...)
Minx: (glare) If you DARE answer with your annoying catch phrase again, I swear I'll--
Glitch: (restraining a twitching Minx) Uh, Minx dear...
Xellos: (Smile TM) I meant it's clear that if any of us is harboring any romantic feelings for the other, it would most certainly be Filia-chan. I wouldn't blame her for falling for me, though. ^_^
Filia: (furious shade of red) W-WHAT???!!!!! (pulls out Mace-sama)
Xellos: Oh, come now, Filia-chan. It's so obvious you have a... shall we say... unrequited *crush* on me! ^_^
Filia: NAMAGOMIIIIII!!!!!!!!! (swings mace)
Xellos: (dodge, teleports behind Filia) Though I should say I admire how you try so hard to hide your true feelings. They say love is akin to hate, Filia-chan. ^_~
Filia: (fuming, red as a tomato) Y-YOU, YOU FILTHY, DISGUSTING--!!! (swings mace again, misses)
Xellos: (teleports, floats cross-legged in the air beside her) Ne, you should practice more, Filia-chan. You used to swing your mace at me much faster than that! Getting rusty in your old age, ne? ^_^
Filia: (totally about to explode) I'LL SHOW YOU!!!! (swing, miss again)
Xellos: (reappearing right in front of Filia) But you know, you look really cute when you're mad! ^_^
Glitch: (huddled forgotten beside Minx) What do we do now, Minx?
Minx: (face faulting) F-forget it...
Filia: (freezing in mid-swing, adopting a thoughtful, composed expression) No. I will not do this. (puts down mace-sama)
Xellos: (obviously flustered and disappointed over Filia's decision) Eh? Why'd you stop trying to bash my head off, Filia-chan? ^_^*
Filia: (glares at Xellos, softens, gazing at him evenly) I've only come to realize how pointless it is to waste my time and energy trying to bash some sense into that purple head of yours.
Xellos: (puzzled frown) Eh?
Minx: (scratching her head) You mean she hasn't realized that until now?
Glitch: Well, they had to fight all the time. Their cute quarreling scenes took up nearly half of each episode of Try...
Filia: (continuing calmly) Namagomi-- no -- Xellos, you are obviously too thick-headed to understand.
Xellos: (twitch) ..... Thick-headed.... ?
Filia: (arms crossed resolutely) Not to mention immature. Honestly, Xellos dear, I don't get how someone your age could act like such a kid all the time. The way you always try to annoy me, work me up into a rage all because of you and your childish antics...
Xellos: (twitch, twitch) ...... Childish?
Glitch: (whispering nervously) I think Mr. Xellos is really mad this time...
Minx: (bonks him on the head, whispering back) Sshh, we're just getting to the good part...
Filia: (giggling involuntarily) I mean... (laughs again, shakes her head in disbelief)
Xellos: ..... You meant?
Filia: (composing herself) I mean, look at you... The fifth strongest Mazoku in creation, Zelas' general *and* priest, being a total fool to yourself.
Xellos: (twitch, opening eyes in bewilderment) ....... Eh...... ?
Filia: (gazing intently at Xellos, face to face) I mean, you're too afraid to admit your feelings... You're too... *scared*... to be true to yourself, and to drop that damned fruitcake grin of yours to face me and tell me what you really want to say.
Xellos: (dangerous open-eyed look on his face) ........ Scared?
Filia: (smiling proudly) That's right, scared. The big bad Mazoku is scared of admitting he has feelings for a Ryu--
(cut off by Xellos' lips on hers, arms wrapping around her waist, as she was pulled closer for a long and passionate kiss)
(after a second of shocked silence, whole studio erupts with the sound of the audience's cheers and clapping)
(a full minute later)
Glitch: (sweatdrop) They're still at it...
Minx: How could they hold their breaths for so long?
Glitch: Well, they're both not exactly humans, so...
Minx: (sweatdrop as Xellos and Filia continue on with their little scene, oblivious to everything and everyone around them) ............
Glitch: (blushing cutely at the two lovebirds) Uh, does this mean the show's over, Minx?
Minx: I guess so... (brightening up) Unless they let us televise the wedding and the honeymoon...
Glitch: (to audience) Well, you heard it, that's all for today's show! I would ask Ms. Filia and Mr. Xellos to bid you viewers goodbye, but as you can see, they're still... occupied at the moment!
(spotlight at Xellos and Filia, cherry blossoms and confetti shower onstage, background video screen flashes TRUE LOVE in huge pink letters surrounded by little hearts)
Minx: (flashes victory sign) Till the next time! This is your ultra-cute host, Minx--
Glitch: And Glitch!
Minx: Signing off for the meantime, until the next twisted episode of everyone's favorite imaginary talk show--
Minx and Glitch: SLAYERS REVEALED!!! (loud, thunderous clapping) JA NE, MINNA-SAN! (two hosts join hands, theatrical bow)
(studio lights dim, ending music cranks up)
- CREDITS (Do I have to?) -
Production Staff:
Written, produced, and directed by
Minx the Mighty
Princess Amelia Wil Telsa Saillune
Glitch (?)
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Sponsors:
[All hail] Zelas Metallium, CEO Wolfpack Corporation
Prince Philionel El Di Saillune
Special Thanks To:
Janet Clift, Esther Nairn, and all those other people
who wrote those pro-Xel/Fi essays, thus
inciting my literary delirium
My mom, for grounding me, thus getting myself
cooped up in my room, in front of the
computer console for 2 days, enough time to
finish this ficcie (great, now I reveal I'm underage)
Slayers Revealed (TM)
copyright (c) 2001-2002 by Just Another Dummy Corp. (JADC)
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Author's Ramblings: Okie, done! That wasn't so bad, was it? Hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing, er, typing. I'll be more than happy to receive comments from you. I might even write a sequel, if I feel like it... (sweatdrops as readers scream in terror at the possibility) Heck, I'm obsessed with this couple.
(THANKFULLY) THE END ^_^
