I know people. These chapters
are taking forever for me to post. Bear with me, please? I hope I haven't lost too many readers. B.t.w.
the xmen still aren't mine, DUH!
~~~~
"YOU
CANNOT POSSIBLY EXPECT US TO TRUST YOU NOW!"
"What's WRONG with you? You're an ungrateful monster."
"Once evil…always evil."
"Get out of here, I don't want to see your face again."
I stopped walking and ran over to a tree on the side of
the road, my fist colliding with the trunk. I slid down to the ground. My
knuckles were bleeding, but I didn't feel it. All I could feel was the anger;
hear the voices, see the untrusting faces. I wanted so bad to part of
them, of their family. I blew it; I blew it by saying good-bye to a friend, the
friend who saved my life. Now I screwed up that life he saved, forever. I
looked down the dusty road toward the direction where I came from, toward a
small piece of my life, my few days with the X-Men. I sighed heavily, not
knowing where to go, what to do, or who to turn to. My mind was whirling.
Someone
had shown one-eye my letter I wrote to Darky, and the X-Men blew it way out of
proportion. They thought I was deceiving them, spying on them. Chuck had gone
away for a few days to get some information on some new mutants, and I was
stuck alone with the wrath of a team who hated me. They basically kicked me
out. I didn't know what to say, I was trying so hard to make them trust me, and
that was all shattered in an instant. So I left, I just got up and walked out
of the door. What else was I supposed to do?
"YOU
CANNOT POSSIBLY EXPECT US TO TRUST YOU NOW!"
"What is WRONG with you? You're an ungrateful monster."
"Once evil…always evil."
"Get out of here, I don't want to see your face again."
Their voices chimed through my mind over and over. My
head dropped between my knees and I grasped my hair with both hands.
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?" I screamed, jumping up
and staring at the bright blue, cloudless sky, "I DON'T DESERVE THIS!" I sank
to the ground on my knees, a small drop of salty water streaming down my
flushed cheek, "I don't deserve this…" I said quieter this time, trying to
convince myself that I really didn't deserve this, that it wasn't my
fault, and life had just dealt me an unfair hand of cards. But then something in the back of my mind
told me I did. I deserved everything that was happening and that would be
happening, that this is what I get for everything I did.
I curled up in a
little ball, slowly drifting off to sleep.
***
"Sarah? Sarah, it's me honey. Listen, you can do whatever
you set your mind to. You can be whatever you want to be. Ignore what everyone
else thinks, listen to what's in your heart."
"Lylana?" I asked aloud, "Lylana, where are you?" I got
up, standing in a hazy forest, hearing the voice of the lady who had been my
mother.
"Be quiet now child, you will do as I tell you. I want
the best for you, I want you to do what feels right."
I ran through the mist, "Please, Lylana? Lylana, I need
to talk to you!"
"Do what you want to do, I love you Sarah."
"No! No, don't leave me, please! Come back!"
***
"Come
back, please, come back Lylana,"
I woke up at the sound of my own mumbling
voice. How could it be that a dream could seem so real? I sat up and rubbed my eyes before noticing
the once blue sky that was now black with stars, hanging over my head. I laid
back down on the grass that had taken the shape of my curled up body, staring
at the twinkling little diamonds in the dark sky. It was weird to think of them
as huge burning orbs of gas, because from far away they look like priceless
gems, trapped in the heavens.
I
shook my head, "There ya go thinkin' again Sarah, you've been doin too much of
it lately."
"Being
at thee mansion vill do zat do a person."
I
jumped at the sound of another's voice, "Who's there?"
"Oh
come now, you cant mistake mein voice."
"Whatta ya want elf?"
"Ze o'zers sent me to look for you and bring you back to
ze mansion. I've found you, so lets get z'is over vith, shall we?" And with a *
BAMF* and an overwhelming stench of sulfur, we were in the main lobby of the
mansion.
I jerked my arm from his grasp, "What the fuck did you
do? Who ever said I wanted to come back?" I broke into a sprint toward the
door, but Remy stepped in front of me.
"Outta my way LeBeau!" I pressed my hands into his
shoulders, forcing him out of my way.
I felt his fingers wrap around my arm, "Sarah, stay
please, fo' Remy."
I turned back, facing him, "Gimme one good reason why I
should put up with everyone's shit here."
He let my arm drop, "Where else' you gon' go petite, eh?"
I stared at him. He was right and we both knew it.
"If you just give dem som' time, you'll fin' your place here.
Trust me, non?"
I sighed, and looked down at my feet. I had no other alternative here; I was stuck up a creek with no paddle. I had to stay, whether I liked it or not.
