Dear Uncle Mick,

Dear Uncle Mick,

My husband won't let me be friends with this man and I think that's unfair. I'm a McMahon a very important person dammit and it's not fair!!!!!! Daddy would have let me!!!!!!

Also, how should I address my soon-to-be Stepmum considering that I am about the same age of her and have in the past referred to her as a slut, a ho and trash amongst other things?? While my opinion of her hasn't changed, she IS gonna be my Step-mum and I don't want Daddy to stop my allowance or cut me out of the will. Also, after a little 'chat' I had with her, she seems to know exactly where her place is (i.e. my father's bedroom).

I expect to see a reply in the next magazine,

Daddy's Little Girl

Dear Daddy's Little Girl,

Your husband won't let you talk to your male 'friend'? Your Daddy is going to marry a ho? I can see that you have some very serious problems, not least of all your lack class and style.

It's clear from your letter that you believe yourself to be the dominant female in your family and that you feel threatened by this newcomer. So how do you react? You start calling her all those awful names that you're called on a regular basis. Daddy's Little Girl, have you ever thought that the problem might not be with your to-be Step-mum but with you?

As for your husband being jealous of the time you spend with your friend, do any of us look like we care?? First off, many woman would be flattered that their other half's want to keep them all to themselves. And secondly, have you ever done anything with your friend that might have made your husband jealous?? Maybe – oh, I don't know – slept with him?

Next time you want some free advice off someone, ask a bit more nicely Princess.

Even so, Have a Nice Day (NOT!)

Uncle Mick J