Dear Uncle Mick

Dear Uncle Mick

Our boss says that we've gotta find a new source of income cause us raiding Crash's pocket money isn't on and he doesn't like the idea of us being paid to beat up his buddy Regal. We asked him if it's OK then for us to beat up someone who he hates, but apparently officially he can't allow us to do that as then the insurance company won't pay out.

Our question to you is what can we do to get some beer money? We don't want earn much, just enough to keep us in beers, cigars and betting money for a couple of months (after all what more does a guy need?). We'd appreciate your advice

The Ballet Lovers

Dear the Ballet Lovers

What is your boss thinking???? Of COURSE it's OK to beat up Regal; isn't that what he's there for? Besides he makes a lousy Commish – when was the last time he made a cheap pop to the crowd? I can tell you that right here, on this help page (SX: Crowd cheering), we think that you are in the right and your boss is in the wrong (what would he know anyway? He fired the guy who in my mind was the greatest Commissioner ever!)

As for being paid to beat someone up – blame it on supply and demand! While there are still freakazoids who want to buy those weird glasses, the company will keep making them!! Just as it's not their fault that there are some totally weird people in the world, it's not your fault that others want you to beat someone up for them – after all, if you didn't provide that service then someone else would.

I suggest that you go right up to your boss and demand that he lets you protect and beat up people when and where you want to. And while you're there, demand a pay rise so you'll have more beer money! Or better yet, threaten to beat him up if he doesn't re-instate Foley as commissioner!!!

Have a Nice Day

Uncle Mick J

P.S. Have I mentioned that you can now all sign a petition to bring back the greatest commissioner ever? Also there's one going around about Foley too