Dear
Uncle Mick
I am so ashamed at my recent behaviour. What I
have been thinking has been immoral, wrong and unacceptable. To think that I
was so close to behaving in such a wanton and unseemly way!
But let me explain.
Uncle Mick, over the last few weeks I have been fighting these, these… urges
I have been getting about my leader and good friend. I know that I should
suppress them as they are wrong, but Uncle Mick they keep getting stronger.
I don't know how to cope with them – may God forgive me for saying this, but I
find myself actually wanting to dress provocatively in the hope
that he will notice me and find me attractive. I want to wear a
low-cut, brightly coloured top and short skirt with my thong showing.
I can't believe that
I just admitted that!! Uncle Mick, if you knew me then you would know that this
goes against everything my friends and I stand for. This is exactly the kind of
immoral, unacceptable behaviour that we are trying to drive out, my close
friend especially. How can I even think of dressing like that when I know how
much he despises it? But how else can I get his attention?
Uncle Mick, please
help me,
Wannabe-Mrs-White-Socks
Dear
Wannabe-Mrs-White-Socks,
Fear not, Uncle Mick is
here once again to save the day!!
Now, about your
'friend'. I sense that you two are quite close and that you would be willing to
do anything for him. Willing enough to strip for him on national TV? No, only
joking! Not only would he disapprove but I also have a feeling that you would
be giving the sisterhood of puppies a bad name!
Seriously though, why
don't you just tell him because who knows, maybe he feels the same way about
you! After all, behind every great (and not so great) man there is a powerful
woman and you are… a woman.
And while we're not on
the subject, why do you think that woman should be denied their right to dress
how they want? I know that everyone, right here reading this problem-page (SX:
crowd cheering) love to see scantily-clad women (bring back the hos!) – why
can't you and your friends just accept this?? Maybe if you could bring your
comrades round to the popular way of thinking (i.e. less is more) then you
could also dress like the divas of the world and actually be able to get your
man.
Have A Nice Day!
Uncle Mick J
Author's Notes: Sorry for all the cheap pops but I can't help it!!!! "Foley, Foley, Foley……" – We've missed you Mick!!!!!
