Disclaimer (gwaa):
Cowgirl Josephine is the happy-go-lucky mascot of the Anime Club Laramie
Chapter. They somehow own the rights to her general appearance, mindset, and
name, so if you want to use her as a character, give proper credit and some such
stuff as that. Gracey Veer is the eternal sidekick to Cowgirl Josephine. CJ owns
her soul and a few other important items that she keeps in a locked box under
her bed. If you want to use Gracey Veer, you have to give proper credit to CJ
for bringing her up as the fine young lass that she is.
If you care, you can visit CJ's happy home on the internet here:
http://www.uwyo.edu/anime/mascot.htm
As for Sailor Moon and other anime characters appearing in this
story...all rights reserved to their proper owners. This is a work of
fan-fiction. No intent to make or garner profits from this work will be made...etc..etc...
Secondary disclaimer:
This story gives even more ridiculous and nonsensical in this chapter. If you dislike mindless action, animal cruelty, or jello, maybe you
shouldn't be reading this.
CJ SAYS: Insane Sidestory
CHAPTER 2: CJ's Secret Attack! The Big Can of Creamed Corn!
The scene when we last left our heroes:
Sailor Jupiter pushes passed Mercury. "Mercury, it's obvious that they
don't get it. The only thing that these two idiots appear to understand is brute
force. If that's what they want, then I say we give it to them."
"Yeah, we're with you Jupiter!"
CJ's jaw drops. "Has the world gone totally insane?"
Run fer yer life! The Sailor Scouts have gone plum loco and have challenged the mascot of the ACLC to a fight. What's going to happen next? Massive Destruction? City wide Genocide?
Gracey pops up. "Actually, Mr. Narrator, sir, it's Tea Time."
CJ checks her watch and nods. "Yeppers, it is Tea Time." She points a threatening finger at the scouts. "And don't you dare interrupt us! I get cranky if I don't get my tea."
"Biscuit, CJ?" Gracey asks, having suddenly produced a tea set seemingly from thin air.
"Why yes, thank you."
The Sailor Senshi collapse.
After a time, our intrepid duo complete their tea, and after tidying up a bit, CJ puts on her fighting gloves.
CJ enters a three quarter fighting stance. "Okee, I'll have you know that I learned my fighting style from none other than Dan Hibiki. Know that after you have been defeated you will also be properly embarrassed by my mocking taunts."
"You tell 'em, CJ!"
The Sailor Senshi seem a bit put off by this overconfident performance on the part of our cow-eared heroine.
Sailor Mercury touched her lip with a finger. "Hmm, should we attack in mass, or one on one?"
"I say we attack in mass," Sailor Mars says with an exasperated tone. "After all, we'll all just wind up fighting her one on one anyway. You know it always happens like that."
Sailor Venus nods. "Sailor Mars is right. We might as well attack in mass, just to get this over with."
"Okay, I guess we'll attack in mass then." Sailor Moon says. "Is everyone ready?"
"You bet."
Sailor Moon strikes a pose. "Know this villainous creature. You have besmirched the honor and beauty that is love, and we, the Sailor Scouts, shall eternally be loves true champions. Prepare yourself, for in the name of the Moon we will punish you!"
"Did that monologue make any sense to you Gracey?"
Gracey shakes her head. "Not in the least. Give 'em what for, CJ! Hoozah!"
The camera pans around the landscape as the battle loads.
"MERCURY BUBBLES!" CJ is attacked first by Sailor Mercury!
"Ah, the dreaded Mercury Bubbles attack...agh, I can't see anything . . . lost . . . where am I?" CJ walks into a telephone pole and suffers 3000 hit points of damage.
"You're wickedness is what blinds you, Josephine! You cannot defeat a champion of love and justice!!!"
"Wanna bet! Crabby! I choose you!" CJ tosses out her pokeball and Crabby emerges. "CRABBY!!!"
"Crabby, counter her mercury bubbles with your bubble attack!"
"CRABBY!" Crabby attempts his bubble attack but abruptly implodes. Crabby dies! ;*_* "Crabby! You worthless piece of..GRRRRR...Crabby return!"
Crabby's worthless corpse returns to its pokeball.
"Your minions are no match for the power of love! Your villany is at an end, CJ!"
"HA! That was nothing, Sailor Mercury! Now witness my true power!"
CJ throws her pokeball at Sailor Mercury's head.
The Pokeball strikes Sailor Mercury for 6000 hitpoints of damage. Sailor Mercury collapses!
"No, I lost. I didn't train hard enough," she whimpers.
"HOHOHO!" CJ chortles with a hand over her mouth and one on her hip. "Your technique is weak stupid smart girl!"
Sailor Mercury is defeated, and CJ does a victory pose and
pumps her arm while humming the Final Fantasy victory music from FFVI! "Score one for our side!"
"Go get 'em, CJ!" Gracey calls from the sidelines.
Sailor Moon cradles her fallen friend in her arms. "Sailor Mercury, hang on."
CJ is confronted by Sailor Mars, Jupiter, and Venus. "AAAAH!!! We won't
forgive you for what you did to Sailor Mercury!"
CJ spits on the ground. "Two of you, eh?"
The Sailor Scouts do a quick head count. "There's three of us, moron!"
CJ pauses. "Oh, right, three. Sorry."
Three on one! This doesn't seem fair. I mean, come on, it's three on one!!! Sure CJ took down Sailor Mercury fast enough, but what will she do if she has to divide her attention between three opponents? This could get ugly, folks.
"Hey everyone, this is Gracey. The Sailor Scouts look like there up to something, but I'm sure CJ can handle it, right. After all, she's tough as nails, so make certain you check out our next exciting chapter of CJ SAYS: Insane Sidestory. Chapter 3: Baby Seals Taste Like Chicken!"
