Chapter 10: Fallen Warrior
Two days later...
Shinji had had to listen to his father giving him a rather long talk about duty and ignoring
orders, more than once he nearly had left and told his father to put the EVA into the place
where the sun never shines, but then he had remembered the promise he had given Rei - and to
himself - never to run away again. And even the longest lecture had it´s end. Gendo Ikari
decided on Shinji having additional training for the next four weeks and having his pay reduced
for this time.
Shinji didn´t really cared for this punishment as long as his father wouldn´t decide to
change the living conditions of the pilots.
The second day Touji regained consciousness.
Asuka who had stood virgil before th door of his room in hospital called Shinji first,
she didn´t feel able to face Touji alone. Then she called Hikari who had asked her to
do so if Touji awoke.
Shinji was the first to enter the room which Asuka creeping within his shadow.
"Touji?"
"Hey" the boy on the bed whispered. The sheets were covering his whole body up to the
neck, showing quite clearly the contures of his body, at the left side the sheets were
directly touching him, destroying Asuka´s hopes of the doctors being able to reattach
the arm. His head was bandaged, the face green and blue.
Shinji stepped up to the bed with Asuka staying at the door.
"Touji... how are you?"
The other one laughed softly.
"Truely bad. But I am alive."
"I am sorry..."
"It´s okay. But did you kick the angel´s butt at least as hard as you could?"
"He looks worse than you."
"I´ve hoped that you tell me this. It was terrible... I just was within EVA-03 when
this thing took control. And it let me watch when it destroyed the test area. I was
unable to do anything... It´s good that it was stopped by you."
"But... if there had been another way..."
"What about Ayanami? Is she okay?"
"Yes. She asked me to greet you. If she makes it she will come and visit you today, too."
"Good... I´ve never thought that I would be vistited in hospital by a girl one day - or by
even more than one. I´m happy that she´s okay. When EVA-03 broke her EVA´s neck... I would
have given anything to be in her place... instead of within this... monster..."
"Why did you pilot EVA-03?"
"Yes, why... Since I know how much it hurts you to pilot EVA-01... since I know how much
pain the EVANGELION can bring... it was because of my sister."
"Your sister? Mari?"
"NERV promised to take over her treatment... so she could walk again... And I would have
sacrificed anything for her to be able to walk again... And I still would..."
"Oh, Touji..."
"And what about you? Were you hurt?"
"Just a few bruises, nothing to talk about. I am so sorry."
"You already said this. And I told you you don´t have to, okay? It was my decision. Ah,
Soryu, what about you? Please come closer. I am that full of painkillers that I cannot
see clearly."
Asuka walked up next to Shinji with reddened eyes.
"Suzuhara... Touji... I... Shinji said he´d be sorry, but it is I who has to be sorry..."
"Why?"
"I did inflict the wounds on EVA-03 you got, too. I did shoot out it´s eye..."
"Ah, Soryu, don´t start crying, that doesn´t suit you."
"How do you know what suits me?"
"Listen, I will get an artificial arm, they already took the measures. And the eyes...
well, maybe pirates will come into fashiion soon again... I guess I will look quite cool
with an eyepatch."
"Within your dreams, Suzuhara."
"Ah, that´s better, Soryu. The only thing of importance is that the angel was stopped...
and, well, that I am still alive. It will be a bit difficult to play basketball onearmed
if it doesn´t work out with the artificial limp, but it could have been worse."
"Touji..."
"Yes, Soryu?"
"I want to apologize."
"I told you..."
"No, not because of this, but for think about you to be an idiot. You are a better person
than I ever was or will be."
Touji closed his eye.
"Oh, dear. Now I see - I´ve died and gone to heaven, nowhere else Asuka Soryu Langley
would admit to have been wrong."
He laughed.
"Argh! Be happy that I wouldn´t beat up an ill person. If you ask me they giving you to
much of this stuff within the medicaments."
A knock at the door.
"Come in, here´s room enough!" Touji souted with weak voice.
It was Hikari. When she saw that Touji already had two visitors she blushed all over the
face.
"Suzuhara-kun..."
"Class-representive. Please enter."
"Uhm, we just wanted to leave" Shinji explained and gave Asuka a push. "Well, Touji, I
will return tomorrow, shall I bring anything? Maybe a rented movie?"
"Hm, yes, something funny would be great."
"I´ll see what I can find."
They left the room. Outside, in the corridor Asuka leaned at the wall.
"I didn´t want to... I really didn´t want to hurt him."
"I know. And he knows, too, that´s what´s important. Touji is noone to carry a grudge
forlong, or he already would have tried to suffocate you."
"You are trying to cheer me up, aren´t you?"
"Uhm..."
"It´s okay. Thanks. But at the moment I don´t feel like being able to cheer up."
"Yes."
"If something like this can happen to one of us it can happen to anybode. What will happen
next? I always thought myself a hero... the great Asuka Soryu Langley, protecting
humanity with her big red EVA, beating the crap out of the angels... At the moment I
just wish to have never even heard about the EVAs..."
"I understand."
"Really?"
"Yes. During the first fights I felt the same... I have never wanted to pilot EVA-01,
my father forced me to do it... I or Rei who was hurt quite badly this time..."
"That bastard... that goddamned asshole..."
Shinji smiled feintly.
"Yes. The first two time EVA-01 went berserk, saving my life in the process. I have
discovered something within myself I´d rather not discovered, an ugly dark side, howling
for blood... or maybe those emotions came from EVA-01..."
"You believe that the EVAs have feelings?"
"I don´t know... emotions or instincts... I always have a feeling of an echo when I pilot
EVA-01... The EVAs were created after man´s picture by using human DNA... and
angel-DNA. Why shouldn´t they have souls or emotions?"
"Shinji, I´ve never thought about this. I only know that if we do not watch each other´s
back noone does. Who knows about the next angel´s abilities, or the next thing we´ll be
confronted with."
"Together we stay, devided we fall."
"Yes. Rei, you and me... One for all and all for one."
***
Nothing happened for the rest of the day, Shinji did synchrontraining while Rei visited
Touji, meeting Hikari as well as Kensuke at the side of Touji´s bed.
Asuka was inside her room brooding, during dinner she fell silent after Misato had
asked about Touji.
Rei helped Shinji and Misato doing the dished - Shinji washed up, Rei dryed and Misato
put away the plates - after Asuka had went into her room. Then Rei gave Shinji a short
good-night-kiss Misato pretended to ignore while broadly grinning inside, and followed
Asuka.
The redhead laid on the bed and gazed at the ceiling.
"Asuka?"
"Let me alone."
Rei changed, sat down on her bed and watched Asuka.
"Why are you staring at me?"
"You are hurting."
"Yes... but not enough."
"Why, why do you want to suffer?"
"For what I did to Touji."
"I understand."
Asuka sat up.
"You understand nothing!" she screamed. "He could be dead! I could have his blood on my
hands!"
"Yes, I undestand. The same thought made me hesitate."
Asuka looked at her.
"Noone of us had been prepared for something like this... EVA-03 should have fought by
our side, not against us."
"Yes, noone of us was able to fight the human within unit three."
"Noone except me."
"You couldn´t know what would happen."
"Nice consolation, tell Touji!"
"He already knows."
"Yes. And I acted like an idiot all the time. I should be laying on that bed not he.
Ah... He did it to have the NERV-doctors help his little sister... that´s such a damned
heroic thing... he pilots an EVA with the full knowledge of the dangers, of being hurt
or even killed by an angel´s hands to give his sister a chance. And then he is hurt that
worse by those who should have been by his side... hurt by me... I am no hero, I have
just followed an illusion. Shinji was right, the EVA bring only pain and sorrows."
"But without them the first angel would have destroyed us already..."
"Yes. And you wouldn´t have had your job, I know. Rei, could... could you just leave me
alone? I think I have to cry and I don´t want anybore to watch me."
"I respect your wish."
Rei got up, went to the door, stood there.
"Asuka, I... I am here for you."
"I know. Only together we are strong."
"Correct."
"I won´t do anything stupid, just if you are thinking I could."
"Good."
"Suicide is something for those without any perspectives left in life. I may be despairing but
I am not that despairing. To be honest I nearly wish for an angel to
attack so I can kick it´s ass. What do you think, some additional time inside the combat
simulator might be helpful, mightn´t it?"
"Maybe."
"Yes, maybe... Damned, why did this have to happen... and just a day ago Hikiri told me
that she liked Touji very, very much... Why can I only destroy?"
She sobbed.
"Rei, please go, yes?"
"Call me if you need someone."
"I will. Rei... if I have learned one thing today it is never to let an opportunity go
without making the most of it. We can die anything in battle... or in an accident...
or somewhere else... if you truely want to do something, do it or maybe you´ll never the
opportunity again..."
Rei blinked.
"Yes."
"Thank you for being a friend."
She only nodded before leaving the room, stepping into the corridor and closing the door
behind her.
Asuka wasn´t able to keep back her tears any longer...
***
A feint shimmer of light came from unde Shinji´s door, he as still awaken.
Rei took a deep breath. Asukas muffled crying reached her ear, nearly destroying her
resolution, as she was tempted to turn back and comfort her roomie against her wishes.
... if you truely want to do something, do it or maybe you´ll never the opportunity again...
Asuka´s words resounded within her head.
She nodded lost in thoughts, then did a stp towards Shinji´s door and knocked, once,
then twice in fast sequence, then three times after a short pause, before entering.
She knew what she wanted...
Two days later...
Shinji had had to listen to his father giving him a rather long talk about duty and ignoring
orders, more than once he nearly had left and told his father to put the EVA into the place
where the sun never shines, but then he had remembered the promise he had given Rei - and to
himself - never to run away again. And even the longest lecture had it´s end. Gendo Ikari
decided on Shinji having additional training for the next four weeks and having his pay reduced
for this time.
Shinji didn´t really cared for this punishment as long as his father wouldn´t decide to
change the living conditions of the pilots.
The second day Touji regained consciousness.
Asuka who had stood virgil before th door of his room in hospital called Shinji first,
she didn´t feel able to face Touji alone. Then she called Hikari who had asked her to
do so if Touji awoke.
Shinji was the first to enter the room which Asuka creeping within his shadow.
"Touji?"
"Hey" the boy on the bed whispered. The sheets were covering his whole body up to the
neck, showing quite clearly the contures of his body, at the left side the sheets were
directly touching him, destroying Asuka´s hopes of the doctors being able to reattach
the arm. His head was bandaged, the face green and blue.
Shinji stepped up to the bed with Asuka staying at the door.
"Touji... how are you?"
The other one laughed softly.
"Truely bad. But I am alive."
"I am sorry..."
"It´s okay. But did you kick the angel´s butt at least as hard as you could?"
"He looks worse than you."
"I´ve hoped that you tell me this. It was terrible... I just was within EVA-03 when
this thing took control. And it let me watch when it destroyed the test area. I was
unable to do anything... It´s good that it was stopped by you."
"But... if there had been another way..."
"What about Ayanami? Is she okay?"
"Yes. She asked me to greet you. If she makes it she will come and visit you today, too."
"Good... I´ve never thought that I would be vistited in hospital by a girl one day - or by
even more than one. I´m happy that she´s okay. When EVA-03 broke her EVA´s neck... I would
have given anything to be in her place... instead of within this... monster..."
"Why did you pilot EVA-03?"
"Yes, why... Since I know how much it hurts you to pilot EVA-01... since I know how much
pain the EVANGELION can bring... it was because of my sister."
"Your sister? Mari?"
"NERV promised to take over her treatment... so she could walk again... And I would have
sacrificed anything for her to be able to walk again... And I still would..."
"Oh, Touji..."
"And what about you? Were you hurt?"
"Just a few bruises, nothing to talk about. I am so sorry."
"You already said this. And I told you you don´t have to, okay? It was my decision. Ah,
Soryu, what about you? Please come closer. I am that full of painkillers that I cannot
see clearly."
Asuka walked up next to Shinji with reddened eyes.
"Suzuhara... Touji... I... Shinji said he´d be sorry, but it is I who has to be sorry..."
"Why?"
"I did inflict the wounds on EVA-03 you got, too. I did shoot out it´s eye..."
"Ah, Soryu, don´t start crying, that doesn´t suit you."
"How do you know what suits me?"
"Listen, I will get an artificial arm, they already took the measures. And the eyes...
well, maybe pirates will come into fashiion soon again... I guess I will look quite cool
with an eyepatch."
"Within your dreams, Suzuhara."
"Ah, that´s better, Soryu. The only thing of importance is that the angel was stopped...
and, well, that I am still alive. It will be a bit difficult to play basketball onearmed
if it doesn´t work out with the artificial limp, but it could have been worse."
"Touji..."
"Yes, Soryu?"
"I want to apologize."
"I told you..."
"No, not because of this, but for think about you to be an idiot. You are a better person
than I ever was or will be."
Touji closed his eye.
"Oh, dear. Now I see - I´ve died and gone to heaven, nowhere else Asuka Soryu Langley
would admit to have been wrong."
He laughed.
"Argh! Be happy that I wouldn´t beat up an ill person. If you ask me they giving you to
much of this stuff within the medicaments."
A knock at the door.
"Come in, here´s room enough!" Touji souted with weak voice.
It was Hikari. When she saw that Touji already had two visitors she blushed all over the
face.
"Suzuhara-kun..."
"Class-representive. Please enter."
"Uhm, we just wanted to leave" Shinji explained and gave Asuka a push. "Well, Touji, I
will return tomorrow, shall I bring anything? Maybe a rented movie?"
"Hm, yes, something funny would be great."
"I´ll see what I can find."
They left the room. Outside, in the corridor Asuka leaned at the wall.
"I didn´t want to... I really didn´t want to hurt him."
"I know. And he knows, too, that´s what´s important. Touji is noone to carry a grudge
forlong, or he already would have tried to suffocate you."
"You are trying to cheer me up, aren´t you?"
"Uhm..."
"It´s okay. Thanks. But at the moment I don´t feel like being able to cheer up."
"Yes."
"If something like this can happen to one of us it can happen to anybode. What will happen
next? I always thought myself a hero... the great Asuka Soryu Langley, protecting
humanity with her big red EVA, beating the crap out of the angels... At the moment I
just wish to have never even heard about the EVAs..."
"I understand."
"Really?"
"Yes. During the first fights I felt the same... I have never wanted to pilot EVA-01,
my father forced me to do it... I or Rei who was hurt quite badly this time..."
"That bastard... that goddamned asshole..."
Shinji smiled feintly.
"Yes. The first two time EVA-01 went berserk, saving my life in the process. I have
discovered something within myself I´d rather not discovered, an ugly dark side, howling
for blood... or maybe those emotions came from EVA-01..."
"You believe that the EVAs have feelings?"
"I don´t know... emotions or instincts... I always have a feeling of an echo when I pilot
EVA-01... The EVAs were created after man´s picture by using human DNA... and
angel-DNA. Why shouldn´t they have souls or emotions?"
"Shinji, I´ve never thought about this. I only know that if we do not watch each other´s
back noone does. Who knows about the next angel´s abilities, or the next thing we´ll be
confronted with."
"Together we stay, devided we fall."
"Yes. Rei, you and me... One for all and all for one."
***
Nothing happened for the rest of the day, Shinji did synchrontraining while Rei visited
Touji, meeting Hikari as well as Kensuke at the side of Touji´s bed.
Asuka was inside her room brooding, during dinner she fell silent after Misato had
asked about Touji.
Rei helped Shinji and Misato doing the dished - Shinji washed up, Rei dryed and Misato
put away the plates - after Asuka had went into her room. Then Rei gave Shinji a short
good-night-kiss Misato pretended to ignore while broadly grinning inside, and followed
Asuka.
The redhead laid on the bed and gazed at the ceiling.
"Asuka?"
"Let me alone."
Rei changed, sat down on her bed and watched Asuka.
"Why are you staring at me?"
"You are hurting."
"Yes... but not enough."
"Why, why do you want to suffer?"
"For what I did to Touji."
"I understand."
Asuka sat up.
"You understand nothing!" she screamed. "He could be dead! I could have his blood on my
hands!"
"Yes, I undestand. The same thought made me hesitate."
Asuka looked at her.
"Noone of us had been prepared for something like this... EVA-03 should have fought by
our side, not against us."
"Yes, noone of us was able to fight the human within unit three."
"Noone except me."
"You couldn´t know what would happen."
"Nice consolation, tell Touji!"
"He already knows."
"Yes. And I acted like an idiot all the time. I should be laying on that bed not he.
Ah... He did it to have the NERV-doctors help his little sister... that´s such a damned
heroic thing... he pilots an EVA with the full knowledge of the dangers, of being hurt
or even killed by an angel´s hands to give his sister a chance. And then he is hurt that
worse by those who should have been by his side... hurt by me... I am no hero, I have
just followed an illusion. Shinji was right, the EVA bring only pain and sorrows."
"But without them the first angel would have destroyed us already..."
"Yes. And you wouldn´t have had your job, I know. Rei, could... could you just leave me
alone? I think I have to cry and I don´t want anybore to watch me."
"I respect your wish."
Rei got up, went to the door, stood there.
"Asuka, I... I am here for you."
"I know. Only together we are strong."
"Correct."
"I won´t do anything stupid, just if you are thinking I could."
"Good."
"Suicide is something for those without any perspectives left in life. I may be despairing but
I am not that despairing. To be honest I nearly wish for an angel to
attack so I can kick it´s ass. What do you think, some additional time inside the combat
simulator might be helpful, mightn´t it?"
"Maybe."
"Yes, maybe... Damned, why did this have to happen... and just a day ago Hikiri told me
that she liked Touji very, very much... Why can I only destroy?"
She sobbed.
"Rei, please go, yes?"
"Call me if you need someone."
"I will. Rei... if I have learned one thing today it is never to let an opportunity go
without making the most of it. We can die anything in battle... or in an accident...
or somewhere else... if you truely want to do something, do it or maybe you´ll never the
opportunity again..."
Rei blinked.
"Yes."
"Thank you for being a friend."
She only nodded before leaving the room, stepping into the corridor and closing the door
behind her.
Asuka wasn´t able to keep back her tears any longer...
***
A feint shimmer of light came from unde Shinji´s door, he as still awaken.
Rei took a deep breath. Asukas muffled crying reached her ear, nearly destroying her
resolution, as she was tempted to turn back and comfort her roomie against her wishes.
... if you truely want to do something, do it or maybe you´ll never the opportunity again...
Asuka´s words resounded within her head.
She nodded lost in thoughts, then did a stp towards Shinji´s door and knocked, once,
then twice in fast sequence, then three times after a short pause, before entering.
She knew what she wanted...
