Author's Notes: Okay, Chao-chan is attempting humor.
Keep in mind that I thrive better on angst, but after writing my first
real light-hearted story last night, I'm willing to try a hand with X-Files.
Warnings: Well, Scully gets angry…Oh, and
Mulder threatens a child! (Not anything
serious!)
Archive:
:steals
away the idea of giving permission to archive from another author:
Just notify me if you do. I
don't care, but it's nice to know where everything's going.
Disclaimer:
:rolls eyes:
If I owned them, do you think I'd be writing the fanfic?
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Early Mornings and a Fool's Battlefield
Muscles tensed, taunt with the
adrenaline rush of mêlée, Mulder stealthily crept along the rim of the
sand-colored table, his hands running lightly across cool wood exterior as he
quietly prepared for the next round of attack.
His pervicacious
nature refused him even the slightest allowances of failure, and this time, the
battle was personal. That last
round of ammunition fired at him had been completely unexpected, a sneak
attack, more or less, cheating. Well,
it was in his opinion anyway. He
was still fired up about starting the fight in the first place.
Unfortunately, his only defense was
his skill at obreption, one that had
taken years to refine and was finally paying off.
Shoes carefully removed and specially placed away from the scene of
skirmish, Mulder slid across silently across the floor, slithering
surreptitiously across the tile-paved floors as a snake does upon the grass
covered gardens.
He could not lose!
He just could not! Only a
cruel immortal would allow such a transgression such as his enemy had made
against Scully and himself without avengement.
There just had to be a way…
Suddenly, his world was one of
rotating colors as he jerked to side, rolling, to avoid the next barrage of
enemy shots. Bombarded by a hail
of fire from his dangerous le chat
qui dort,
Mulder tumbled away, his head narrowly missing one of the antagonist's
brutal attacks.
For fear that his foeman still had
much ammunition to spare, the former agent continued his rotational retreat
from the area, stopping only when a pair of well-polished high heels appeared
suddenly in his visions. Mind
focused only the need to retreat, Mulder turned to move again, desperately
trying to escape, when suddenly a gurgle sounded from behind, and a split
second later, a spoonful of mashed peas landed with a resounding plop! on the
back of his neck.
"Nooooooo!"
His monotonous wail sounded throughout the kitchen boundaries only to be
answered by the cruel laughter of a small toddler and a woman's exasperated
sigh.
"You know, Mulder, simply removing
the food from Will would have made this situation a lot easier to cope with."
The prostrated man grew silent, a
blush creeping to his cheeks. For
a moment, he lay without a word. Finally,
he lifted his head from the cool, somewhat dusty tile and dared to glance up at
his lover.
Scully's eyes were hard with
reprimand, her usual severity towards his actions displayed in her blue-green
eyes. Right now the shadowy light
made them more of a stunning aqua, but Mulder guessed it wasn't a good time to
point that out. More importantly,
she had changed from the blouse little William had so unceremoniously decided
needed some more color-a mix of carrot mush orange and green pea had been his
two most prominent choices-and was ready to go, unlike he.
Mulder moved to get up, when
suddenly that delinquent nature of his kicked in, and simple grinned up at her.
"I'm sorry Scully, but I was completely defenseless!
The boy was unrelenting in his attacks!
I fear what may have resulted had you not interfered when you had!"
"Fox!"
Uh oh…Wincing under the heat of a
Scully glare and the use of his much hated first name, Mulder slowly came to
his feet in front of her, bowing his head when they were eye level.
Silently thankful that he was a bit taller then her-a trait that allowed
avoidance of those piercing pupils-he smiled apologetically, then proceeded to
quietly follow her out of the kitchen only to redress.
It took a bit longer then expected,
mostly because Scully had decided dressing was a good time to vent her
annoyance at him (plus a bit of the old setting a good example speech) and
because removing the clothing without allowing the mush his son had left behind
touch his skin was quite a feat to accomplish.
Eventually he made it back to the
kitchen where Scully was wiping William's mouth and doing other motherly
whatnot. He listened in for a few
moments on their babbled exchange, then moved forward to clean up the rest as
Scully left, her infamous glare plastered dangerously upon her face.
The sight of his father cleaning, a
rare sight as it was, sent little Will into a giggling frenzy.
Annoyed, Mulder looked up and mock-glared at his son, slowly walking
over to face the little brat.
Taking a moment, he studied the
infantile, plump features and reasoned that it had to be some kind of
conspiracy; he looked and acted far too much like Scully.
Muttering under his breath, he made
his way down to the child's eye level, glaring for a moment before saying, "You
won this time, buddy, but don't expect me to go easy on you next time.
As they say, you may have won the battle, but there's still a war to be
won!" Mulder turned away, huffing,
figuring that he'd done his disciplinary duty for a day. Unfortunately, missed the poised spoon in
his son's hand.
He didn't even make it out the
kitchen door…
**************
Eh?
Yay? Nay?
I'm not too good with humor, so please be a bit gentle.
This is my first real attempt at humor…Oi, I've got to work on it.