Chapter 21: Niles


Niles stirred, his head was sore and his mouth dry. He didn't recognize where he was at first, before he realized he was on Frasier's couch. Niles looked at his watch: 2:30am. He groaned.

How much did I drink? Too much, clearly.

He thought back to what he could remember from earlier that night, and felt embarrassed. Daphne was probably upset at him too, he wasn't exactly subtle. She seemed worried about Frasier or Martin noticing him flirting. And they did, he remembered Frasier's glares and scolding tones, and Martin looking at his son, pretending not to notice, but being a little uncomfortable.

Niles noticed how dry his mouth and throat were, and desperately wanted some water. He thought that he might be able to find some aspirin or something for this headache as well. He stood up, and realized his shoes and jacket had been taken off. Niles didn't remember doing that. He stumbled into the kitchen, and grabbed some water from the fridge. The cold water felt amazing on his dry, parched throat. He thought back to dinner that night, remembering a bit more. He really made a scene. He remembered Daphne looking at him, worried, nervous. He remembered kissing her on the couch. And telling her how beautiful she was, and that she was an angel, and he could only imagine how embarrassed she would have been at his blatant disregard of their agreement to keep things subtle.

Oh god. What a fool I was acting.

Niles stood in the dark kitchen for several minutes, sipping at the water. He heard footsteps, and Niles turned to see who was up. Daphne was walking quietly out of her room, tiptoeing, careful not to wake him. Niles opened his mouth to say something, but she had entered the kitchen before he could and almost ran into him. Daphne startled, almost yelling out in shock. Niles shushed her, whispering furiously to reassure her.

"Daphne, Daphne – it's okay, it's just me. It's Niles."

She whispered back, catching her breath from the shock.

"Bloody hell, Niles. You scared the life out of me! What are you doing?"
"I needed some water." He held up the bottle of water to show her.

The initial shock over, they found themselves standing in the kitchen awkwardly. Daphne moved to get herself a drink as well. Niles noticed something seemed off about Daphne's demeanor.

"Are you okay, Daphne?"

She flinched slightly as he spoke, and gave Niles a nervous smile.

"Yes. Sorry, you just startled me."

Niles nodded slowly. The embarrassment from earlier returned, and he felt guilty about how he acted earlier that night.

That would explained her unease.

"Daphne I know it's probably not ideal to talk right now, but I want to apologize for tonight. I feel like I acted like an ass and I owe you an explanation."
"You really don't have to apologize, Niles." Niles shook his head.
"No, I acted like a drunken churl. You deserve better than that."
"You acted how someone would expect you to, seeing as you just got served – and then signed – divorce papers. I think very few people would be sober after that."

Niles thought about what she said. But it still didn't feel right.

"Thanks, Daphne. But I don't want to excuse my behaviour. I know I said some things that may have made you uncomfortable tonight, given our agreement."

Daphne went to answer, but there was a sound down the hall. Eddie came running down the hallway before jumping on Martin's chair. Martin must have let him out of the bedroom.

"Let's go to my room, so we aren't interrupted." Daphne grabbed Niles' hand, and dragged him out of the kitchen.

As she led him to her room, Niles felt like his head was spinning. His imagination was enthusiastically conjuring up past fantasies. Daphne's room had always been a forbidden oasis; a place he wanted to be allowed to enter. He had been in there maybe twice before, and never longer than a minute or two. The fact that she was leading him there by the hand was not lost on his overactive mind, and he found himself sternly telling himself off mentally for his reaction. Daphne pulled him inside and shut the door. She walked over to a side table near her bed, and turned on the lamp. They both squinted in the sudden light. Niles caught his reflection in Daphne's mirror and grimaced. He looked horrible. The light wasn't doing much for his headache either.

"Sorry, Daphne. Do you mind keeping the light off? It's a bit bright, and I've got a headache."

Daphne complied, switching it off and plunging them back into darkness.

"Did you want some aspirin?"
"Ah, yes, that would be great, thank you."

Daphne crossed the room to her bathroom – feeling her way in the dark now her night vision was gone, and returned with some aspirin. Niles took a sip from the bottle of water he was still holding from earlier to swallow the tablets. Daphne sat on her bed, and waited. Niles glanced around the dark room, trying to pick out a place to sit.

"You can sit on my bed."

Niles heart thumped so loudly in his chest he would have sworn Daphne would be able to hear it. He sat at the foot of the bed, barely daring to sit further up. This kind of scenario had been a dream of his for years, and his imagination started dreaming up fantasies again – just when he thought he had finally silenced it.

"So?" Daphne spoke from the dark, somewhere to his right, at the head of the bed.

Niles suddenly felt incredibly awkward. He cleared his throat and took another sip of water, his head still pounding. He decided the best way to go about it was to dive right in.

"I spoke to Maris this afternoon, just before I left work. Apparently the divorce papers were a bluff. When I signed them it completely threw her. She's willing to go into counselling."

There was silence from Daphne's end of the bed. Niles couldn't see her face clearly enough in the dark to tell what she was thinking. He continued.

"I turned her down. I told her that the fact she sent me divorce papers to try and get me to relent to her was the entire issue. I said that I've been pushing for therapy for more than a year now, and the fact she was still trying to manipulate me, to bend me to her will after all this time showed me that there is nothing that counselling can save." He took another sip of water. "She got nasty after that."

Daphne was still quiet, inscrutable in the dark. Niles wasn't sure what was worse – knowing how she was reacting, or not knowing.

"So... she has threatened to ruin me, essentially. Pretty much all of my finances are tied up with hers – the downside of being married for 11 years. I expect them to all be frozen by the morning. Beyond that, I'm sure it'll get worse. Maris can be very vindictive, and I've seen her at her worst before – but this is unprecedented territory. I don't think I've ever held my ground against her for so long before."
"I'm sorry, Niles." Daphne sounded sympathetic, which gave Niles some hope.
"Ah, I shouldn't have drunk so much to try and escape. It's my reality now. It's not much in way of excusing my behaviour tonight, but I am sorry for making you uncomfortable. It won't happen again."

Niles rubbed his face. He felt as terrible as he looked.

"I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I have a lot of expenses that go in hand with a wealthier lifestyle." He sighed. "But, I guess that's a tomorrow problem. I, uh- I think I'm going to go back to the couch; try and get some more sleep."

He stood up, a little shaky, and headed to the door.

"Niles, wait."

Niles turned back towards Daphne. His night vision had mostly returned, and he could make out her face again. Daphne seemed to be trying to decide whether to ask him something.

"I wanted to ask... When I was helping you get settled tonight, did... Did you mean what you said to me?"

Niles was puzzled. He was pretty out of it, and barely remembered getting the couch set up or falling asleep, let alone what other embarrassing things he said.

"Sorry, my memory is a little hazy. What did I say?"
"You said that you loved me."