Disclaimer: Same old, don't own the characters or the songs

Disclaimer: Same old, don't own the characters or the songs.

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Theresa walked up to the stage - or more like skipped. "Hi, I'm Theresa," she said.


"Hi, Theresa," the drunken crowd answered.


Theresa giggled. "Wow...this must be fate. I always knew that I would be famous!"


Ivy rolled her eyes. "Poor thing. She's a nice girl, but she couldn't pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel."


"I wonder if there's any record executives here," Theresa giggled. Her face scrunched up and tears filled her eyes. "All I want is to marry Ethan, have some kids and be famous!"

"Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get over it!" Ivy mumbled to Sam.

"I thought you liked her," Sam replied.

"I do, but not her whining about fate and everything," Ivy told him.

Theresa suddenly morphed into her sassy mode. "Anyway, this song is dedicated to Gwen Hotchbitch. This is He Loves You Not for Gwen, because ETHAN LOVES ME BITCH!!!!!!" She pushed her hair out of her eyes and smiled sweetly. "Thank you."

Give it your all girl, give it all ya got

You can take a chance

Take your best shot

Say what you want girl, do whatcha do

He's never gonna, gonna make it with you..

Your pullin' petals of a flower tryin' to getcha way

Keep pullin' til its says what you wanna say

Girl you can pick a field full of daisies

But he'd still be my baby

"I've never seen her like this," Ivy said, watching Theresa sing angrily to Gwen.

"Maybe it's too many margaritas," Sam suggested.

"She's underage!" Ivy exclaimed. "But I don't see why that would stop her."

And I know you can hardly wait til I'm away from him

He instinctively, I know what your thinkin'

You'll be givin' him an open invitation

But my baby won't be taken in...

(nooo..)

You can pout your cherry lips

Try to tempt him with a sweet kiss (sweet kiss)

You can bat your pretty eyes

He ain't got his hands tied..

No chains to unlock

So free to do what he wants

He's into what he's got

He loves me, he loves you not

No matter what you do, he's never gonna be with you

He's into what he's got

He loves me, he loves you not...

"Uh oh," Sam said and nudged Ivy.

"What? Is Grace or Julian coming?" she asked, worried.

"No, but it looks like Gwen is out for the kill," Sam replied.

Ivy looked to where Sam was pointing. "Oh no," she said. "Theresa better watch out."

Theresa innocently continued, unaware of what many in the bar had noticed.

You're the kinda girl thas always up for do or dare

Only want him just because he's there

Always lookin for a new ride

The grass is greener on the other side

You're the kinda girl who's not used to hearin no (no)

All your lovers try to take you where you wanna go

Doesn't matter how hard you try

Your never gonna get with my guy..

No chains to unlock

So free to do what he wants

He's into what he's got (and that's me)

He loves me, he loves you not

No matter what you do

He's never gonna be with you (with you..)

He's into what he's got

He loves me, he loves you not...

Gwen reached the stage and walked up. "Girl, whatchu doin?" she asked Theresa in a ghetto accent.

"How come Harmony is ghetto now?" Ivy asked, exasperated.

"I'm singing," Theresa replied. "Why are you interrupting me?"


"Cuz, girl, you be a lyin' ho!" Gwen responded.

"How many margaritas has she had?" Sam asked.

"Don't wanna know," Ivy answered.

"What are you talking about, Gwen?" Theresa asked. "I won Ethan, fair and square. Now get out!"


"No!" Gwen yelled. "Not until I get Ethan back!"


"You're not getting him back!" Theresa screamed and lunged at Gwen.

"Girl, you best be trippin!" Gwen screamed.

"Whatchu say, girl?" Theresa asked.

"I say you best be trippin!" Gwen answered.

"Girl, bring it!" Theresa yelled.

"I will!" Gwen yelled back and began pulling at Theresa's hair. Theresa did the same for Gwen. The music stopped as the audience cheered them on. Eventually, two bouncers came to escort both of them away.

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