Author's Notes: You asked for it, and you got it. MORE LILA!!! Sorry there are no new Brainy and Helga scenes. Next time though!

Warning: This chapter is rated PG-13 for gratuitous violence and crude language.

Lila sighed looking out over the endless fields of corn. This country town was so much like her hometown. She wandered absentmindedly toward a large blue house close by. Suddenly her jaw dropped. There was her beloved Arnie! And... herself?!? Lila rushed into to ascertain watch she was seeing. Yes, that was definitely Arnie... but the girl wasn't Lila. She was like some, some, whore version of her. A tied up shirt, a tight mini, and some veeeeeeery kinky looking boots. The whore planted one on Arnie's lips and began to walk away from his house.

After Lila got over the shock of this new development, she took action. She ran back to the road and grabbed an item, then laid in ambush in the cornfields. The harlot walked past, and Lila pounced! WHACK! With a swing of the signpost, the bitch was knocked unconscious. The girl smiled in triumph. "That'll teach you to move in on my property, you oh-so promiscuous trollop." She marched off feeling self satisfied, and fell flat on her face. "Ah!" One of the whore's pointed boots had hooked under her ankle. "Who said anything about Arnie being yours?" Lila pulled herself up, holding the sign like an axe. "Who are you anyway?" Asked the trollop. She swung the hefty weapon. "I am the ever-so vengeful Lila!" Her enemy ducked the attack and hooked under with another kick. Lila easily blocked it with the post. "Who are you, you oh-so nasty manthief??" "Lulu, and I'm ever-so certain Arnie would never go for an oh-too ugly pansy like you." Lulu picked up a piece of rope and whipped in her opponent's direction. With whip and sign they chased each other down the country road.

Lila glanced to her right. There was a pond and a wheelbarrow. It was obvious what she had to do. "Die slut!" With a swing of the wooden implement of destruction she knocked Lulu into the wheelbarrow... Wahaha! Not to be finished until Chapter Five!

Rhonda was distraught, spiritually berept, down in the dumps, yada yada depressed. Helga was innocent of flirting with him to be sure, but Harold had indeed confessed affection for her. It was enough to distract her. Nadine had been drilling her with questions, but had gotten nothing but excuses and brush offs. Curly took all this as an opportunity to move in. During lunch (Hell, almost everything in this story happens at lunch) he made a beeline for her table. But there was one obstacle. "What do you think you're doing?" Sid stood firm in his path. "I'm going to give Rhonda a sympathetic ear. Then she'll warm up to me, and we'll elope to Burning Man in Nevada! You will not interfere with my plans hotdog boy!" Sid felt crazy taking on Curly like this, but come on? Was he really gonna let that psycho harass his er, friend? "Just watch me." Curly attempted to step around him, but the boy kept blocking his way. "Grr, you will not stop me!" Thaddeus shoved the smaller boy down. Then he fell flat on his face (Lulu's not the only one who trips people). Sid stood once again, brushing his jacket off.

Harold stopped and waved to Patty in the hallway. "Hi Patty. I haven't seen you a few days." She brought her fist to within a few inches of his face. "Beat it jerk." "Huh?" She glared coldly at him. "You heard me, now get the he** away from me you two timing pig." Harold walked away confused. Why was she so mad? Oh no, had she seen him yesterday? ~ Patty didn't look where she was stepping and accidentally stepped on several extras' feet. "That's it!!" yelled the girl extra with the red afro. "That the last straw!" The black haired twins nodded. Robert and Park conferred in whispers. "It's time..."

Curly and Sid arrived on the playground at 3:15, standard playground fight time. Curly opened his mouth to utter something challenging... "Now I will... hey!" He looked around him. Something was missing. "Where are all the extras?" Sid read over the list of classmates in his mind. Why weren't they there to watch it either? *Let's see... Stinky had to go home to help his father, Lila's on that trip, Rhonda's depressed and Nadine's trying to comfort her, Harold had some personal issues to work out, Sheena doesn't like violence and it's not Eugene's thing either, Lorenzo's still on that CEO schedule, Helga went off with Brainy for some reason, and Arnold, Gerald, Phoebe are... where the heck are they?* "This is so bogus!" shouted the stringy haired one. "We can't have a fight scene without a crowd!" "Curses!" "Thaddeus exclaimed. "I have been foiled. Now I'll have to wait for those idiots to show up before I can get my revenge on hotdog boy!"

The child extras were holding an emergency meeting at Park's sanctuary. Robert led the discussion. "Ever since the show began we've been pushed around..." All present chorused in agreement. "... manipulated into doing their dirty work..." Iggy and Joey nodded remembering the time they were forced to fight in the pilot episode. "... used as fodder for bullies to torture..." Several of them grimaced in rage, thinking of all the times they had been the faceless victims of Helga, Wolfgang, Ludvig, and others. "... others of us ARE those bullies..." The fifth graders looked ready to cry and began sputtering out apologies. "It's okay. We know you only do it because you have to. Just as we all do." "Oh come off it 'Robert'," piped in the boy with a brown bowl cut and Harold shaped head. "You get lines, and you get mentioned in fanfics all the time." Others muttered in agreement. Peapod Kid began to look for an exit. If they thought Robert got too much fame, surely they'd want to kill him. "Park and Peapod don't even belong here! They're tertiary!" Mary yelled. "Shuttup, you got a good role in Helga vs Big Patty!" shouted Seymour. "But you got a big part in Spelling Bee!" Suddenly the room was a melee of arguments, with many wild accusations of "You're one of them!" Ever old grudge and jealous came to surface as Robert's plans of extra unity went down in flames.

Chapter Five! ................ I have no idea.