Title: Dawn's Lament

Author: Jenn (Scully)

Feedback: Please!!! Scully7491@aol.com or r&r

Archive: Just tell me ?

Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS, the characters etc etc.

Summary: Post " The Gift"; what Dawn was thinking as she walked down the stairs.

Rating: G

Note: Ok, as one person on ff.net has said, I know there are a lot of these out there. And its no surprise
that such an emotional episode should have such an impact on the fans and fanfiction writers. This is just
one of many and I hope you can enjoy. I've just finished watching the episode after holding off for more
than a week so I'd have a 'new' episode to watch this week ? , and it only made me realize how truly
amazing the writers, actors, and the show in general is. Five great years and going on more. WE, the fans,
thank you. Ok now that I've been overly sappy….lol….on with the story. I may make this into a series
leading up to Buffy's return, what do you think? ?




Dawn's Lament

" Dawn, listen to me. Listen. I love you. I will always love you. This is the work that I have to do. Tell
Giles- tell Giles I figured it out; and I'm okay. And give my love to my friends; you have to take care of
them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn the hardest thing in this
world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."

-Buffy "The Gift"


I slowly descended the steps, the pain from the slashes marring my sides diminishing as the pain
of losing my sister overpowers it. Her last words keep playing over and over in my head and I know I'll
never forget them, never forget the look on her face as she plunged to her death. For me. For something,
that isn't even really her sister, but a key, a horrible key to a horrific fate. And yet she showed no fear, her
eyes shone with bravery and the ease of understanding what has to be done, what was to be done to save
the world again. I was merely afraid. As I near the last steps, a sob catches in my throat as I view the
scene in front of me. I knew, really knew, that Buffy wouldn't survive, but that hadn't stopped me from
hoping, just a little bit, that she would pull through. She's Buffy, the slayer, my sister, this can't happen to
her. Above all she's the one that's most capable to live through disasters right? I guess not. She's just
lying there, I can't ever remember seeing her so still. Yet she doesn't look dead. If I didn't know better I'd
think she was unconscious because she's glowing somehow. I remember when I first saw mom, after.
Buffy doesn't look like that. But Buffy deserves to look like an angel, because that's what she is. She
always wanted to be normal, but I realize that even if she hadn't been the slayer she would have been great,
a savior. Its her nature.
I walk forward towards her. The others are oblivious to me until let out a little gasp, tears flowing
down my cheeks and pooling on the ground with my still dripping blood. I look at them one by one,
avoiding looking at my sister's broken and lifeless body. Willow is sobbing, hanging onto Tara, who I
guess is better now since that vacant look has left her eyes. She looks so angry, and so hurt, and it is guilty
eyes that turn on me. She wishes that she could have done something. She thinks she should have, could
have, and I can see in her watery, swollen eyes that Willow going through her own personal hell trying to
figure out why she didn't.
Giles looks stunned but I don't see the surprise on his face as I do the others, as if he knew how
this all would end. He turns to me, and reaches out, but I avoid him. There is no comfort here, not for this.
And right there, at that moment, it hits me that now I am truly alone. No mom, no big sister. Sure, the
Scoobies are there but it isn't the same, and now it never will be. Never again.
Xander is still staring at Buffy, motionless and shocked. His hands shake slightly as he cradles an
injured Anya to his body. She is his lifeline, and I can tell he is drawing strength from her as she lays her
head on his shoulder, comforting her love the best that she can. If I could see his heart, I know that it
would be in little pieces inside of his chest. He loved her too, and although that love changed over the
years, it was a strong love and one that would have gone on forever.
This makes me think of Spike. He nearly died for me too. The shear terror in his blue eyes as he
was pushed over the edge of the platform will haunt me until I die. I know he survived, I saw him stagger
over even as I was going down the steps. I'm glad. I don't think I could handle losing both of them. But
I'm not sure if he can handle losing Buffy. It's the vampire's uncharacteristic sobs that diminish my
control and I fall to my knees next to him. I've never seen him cry before. He hides his face from the
others but the pain I see in his stormy blue eyes as he looks up me is shattering. I know now how much he
loved her. I think he's dying inside; no matter how dead he really was his love, his feelings were his life.
Yet, I can sense that he made a promise to Buffy as well by the way he looks at me. Our promises will be
our fuel, our strength. And I don't feel so alone.
The rising sun illuminates Buffy's prone form ethereally, and no one can take their eyes off of her.
The silence is deafening, the sobs turned into quiet tears, pieces of our souls leaking out; pieces that cannot
go on without her and thus must be purged, because she wanted us to go on. She would want us to live, to
enjoy the life that she sacrificed her own for us to have. To live for that which she could not. She did what
she had to do, she figured it out, now its up to us to try to understand why. And to never forget. We will
never forget. Because she saved the world. A lot.

Fini

Please send feedback!!! Sequel? Leave it be? Let me know! ?

Jenn