In the Silence
by Selene
rating pg 13
As always these characters are on loan. Hope you enjoy this mystical AR story…promise to write more soon!!
PROLOGUE
I.
She wasn't the most graceful child.
With her long wavy hair and blue eyes, as a child her family members adored Serena. Her bubbly personality and welcoming smile, Serena invited attention. But her mother always felt uneasy as the child stumbled around the house.
"Oh don't worry, Dear," Serena's father mused warmly as he wrapped his arms around his beautiful wife. "All children are a little clumsy."
"I understand that," she replied, "But something is not right. I know it. I just have this feeling that something is going to happen to my baby."
II.
One morning after her mother tidied her little rose garden, Serena's mother slipped comfortably out of her gardening clothing. Mrs. Tsukino jumped as she heard a clatter fill her small apartment.
"Honey? Did you drop something?" She asked out loud. Instinctively she called out, "Sere?"
"Dear," her husband turned sideways in alarm, "I…you…you're not watching Sere?"
"No, didn't you hear me when I said I was going to work in the garden?"
"I was answering a client on the phone, not you." He scanned the room with a growing anxiety. "Sere, baby, come to daddy."
Serena's mother turned painfully slow towards the steps. She stifled a scream to see her baby girl lying unconscious on the ground. Tears welled in her eyes as she raced down the stairs.
"Honey…" Mr. Tsukino called helplessly after his wife as he reached, his hand trembling, for the telephone. A heart wrenching sob filled his throat as he spoke to the operator in broken whispers, "My baby, she fell down the stairs and she is not moving…please god, please send someone. I need to help, Sere."
III.
The Tsukino's gathered silently and solemnly into the waiting room. Their baby hadn't moved since…the accident.
"If I only remembered to close that damn door!" Mr. Tsukino groaned emotionally as his wife clung to his shoulder.
"You couldn't have known…" She began to sob again. "Why isn't she waking?"
"There were too many steps…it was to tragic a fall…I wish it could have been me."
"Don't speak like that!"
"Excuse me?" A nervous, young doctor approached them. 'God, I hate the formalities. It is because of these cases that I hate working in the pediatric ward.' "Are you the Mr. and Mrs. Tsukino?"
"Yes?" He rose quickly. "Are you treating, Sere? Is she awake yet?"
"Well, sir she came to once or twice." He smiled sadly and breathed quickly. "But there are some complications."
"I…what complications?" Mr. Tsukino steadied his knees as his wife slipped her hand in his.
"Well as you know, toddlers heads are still very sensitive…"
Serena's mother breathed in dramatically. 'I know it's coming. It's coming.'
"We put her in an MRI and scanned her brain. There was some damage. Where Serena had hit her head and cracked it, she damaged a part of her lobe. Now that particular region of the brain controls language development. She may not be able to speak or communicate as efficiently like normal children. I-I-I'm sorry. Her case is too advanced for our technology. You can talk to psychologists and they can recommend communication skills. most likely she develop other ways of communication. She is not mute, but it will take a lot of hard work to reach her…I'm sorry again."
"My baby isn't normal?" Mrs. Tsukino's voiced trembled with a frightening slowness. "We can't talk to her! It was only one fall, just one accident. No this can't be right! Sere has to be fine. She has to be."
The doctor discretely walked away as the young couple embraced in the oh so familiar grasp for desperation, clutching in hopes that one thing in life can be stable…the doctor has seen it too many times all ready. 'This profession has made me a grim cynic way before my time.'
Mr. Tsukino walked gravely into his daughter's hospital room. Her beautiful eyes seemed glazed with the painkillers. He tentatively approached her bedside and kissed her bandaged head before he lost all composure and cried.
Chapter 1 –
Speaking In Melodies
I.
"Sere?" Michelle called quietly. Her long aqua hair was tied in a bun and fell loosely out of place as she turned to her student. 'That child is my favorite! What a gift! I wish I could end that sad expression in her eyes.' "Sweety are you tired?"
Serena shook her head no. 'I'm not sure what she said or why I can't tell her that, but I know she seems nice.' Serena had a knack for judging tones. In her mind, she never could understand why the path between her brain and mouth got all mixed up.
"Okay, after the brass comes in." Michelle blushed as she forgot that Serena couldn't understand everything. She thought vaguely of her broken hearted parents' plea.
"Treat her normally," her father begged. "She has a gift. We try to teach her with special courses, but sometimes Sere gets so frustrated!"
"Please," Her mother paled at the thought of making her daughter feel disadvantaged. "It one of the only ways we can communicate with her. Can you help us learn? Can you help, Sere?"
Breaking her reverie, Michelle pointed to the bar. Serena nodded as she began to play her violin. Michelle was amazed by Serena's natural talent. It moved her. Michelle watched the expressions, she watched Serena and the violin merge as one soulful being…and somehow, when Michelle listened or played with Serena, they could communicate. Michelle understood why Serena's mother begged to help Serena grow musically, Mrs. Tsukino saw Serena's outlet instantly.
"Beautiful," Michelle smiled warmly as she kissed her student's head. For a fleeting moment Michelle captured the remnants of a smile. It broke her heart, to see such a beautiful person condemned to never fully understand the language of humanity.
Suddenly the other girls began to file in for the violin class. A kindly dark haired girl walked without a second glance towards Serena.
She touched Serena's hand softly. "Hey Sere, I missed you yesterday."
Serena's blue eyes lit up. 'I know she likes me. I think she is my…friend.' Serena awkwardly hugged her friend. She attempted to say what she thought was "Hi Reika."
Reika laughed warmly, hugging her friend again. "Only I can get you to talk!"
Reika fixed her seat next to Serena and pointed to the music as she played her viola smoothly. Serena answered with a quick response of her violin. Soon the two girls were playing "their game" back and forth, each adding a new dimension to the conversation. All the while the other girls chatted noisily, unaware of the secret language between Serena and Reika.
Reika knew how to listen to Serena. She looked at her eyes and expression. She listened to Serena's mood through every note. It rang so beautifully. With Serena, Reika could play for hours. But to her, it was more than just playing an instrument; they shared secrets about each other through music. Even at the young age of sixteen, Reika appreciated the power of music.
Suddenly, Serena dropped her violin as a racking headache pierced her head. It felt like something exploded in her brain. She wailed inhumanely, trembling and shaking as some of the other students ran to her aid.
"Serena!" Reika cried out rushing to help her. Reika moved swiftly to the sobbing girl. She held her and rocked her gently as the other girls encircled the two girls. "Oh it'll be okay, Serena. It'll stop soon."
Michelle burst from the teacher's lounge with another student yelling, "Its Serena, Miss M! I think it's really bad this time!"
"Girls! Girls!" Michelle said authoritatively, "Give me space." She bent down on her knees next to the two children. "Sere?" Michelle's head snapped up, "Laura, quickly dial Tsukino's number!"
Michelle helpless watched tears escape from Serena's tightly closed eyes.
"Miss Michelle," Reika asked, she too crying quietly, "When will Serena not cry?"
Michelle reached for Serena's trembling hand, paled with pain, "I don't know. I just don't know."
II.
"Yeah, it was really hard for me today?" Reika said quietly to Andrew.
He touched her hand as he pulled out of the parking lot. "Well," Andrew said bravely trying to cheer up his sister, "Serena is a tough girl. I can see it in her eyes."
"But you didn't see what I saw!" Reika shuddered as she closed the window. "I had a good look of the pain she felt…It must be so terrible!"
"Well all suffer in our lives, Reika." Andrew shook his head. He too felt that there was some injustice in Serena's life. "Serena's suffering is just more visible. Ironically silent, but yet so visible."
"I wish someone can help her." Reika sighed. "I know she knows I am her friend. All the other girls are so mean. They laugh at her. I think she knows it too. Maybe she can feel it. I wish she could just say something! Just to show those girls that she is better than them…"
"No I don't think that is why." Andrew looked down the long road to their large home. It towered above trees and a beautiful hedge garden. "I think you want her talk so she knows she can…"
"Yeah," Reika shook her head in agreement. "I never knew how important speaking was until I met Serena."
III.
He was a man of few words.
Darien shrugged quietly. He was a man of few words and many thoughts. Darien could never really explain in words how good of a thinker he was and how special it made him. 'Life works in funny ways.' He thought as he stepped outside staring at the smooth moon above him. 'I can't remember who I am or where I really came from, but I can communicate with my thoughts…but no one is open enough. They have too many thoughts and too much blockage. People always communicate with their mouths and never think before they speak!'
He smirked at the stark irony of the situation.
It was cool this night. From what the doctors told him years ago, this is the night it happened. The night he lost most of his identity, except for a few vague memories and this locket. He lifted it out from his pocket. Opening it, it played a beautiful melody. 'I can't explain why or how, but I know this song is important to me!'
Darien shut his eyes as flashes oh his childhood accident crossed across his mind. ~ Tall, old doctors dressed in lab coats…a violent crash…tires squeaking …his mother's tears spilling on his face…and her arms wrapped tightly around him…the lingering scent of perfumed roses…bandages and soreness of his whole body… The only thing he heard was loud thoughts and concerns, 'Wonder if the poor kid remembers who he is?' ~
'I don't,' he thought grimly. 'I've spent my whole life searching and still can't find out who I was. All I know is who I am now.'
Darien heard a faint ringing of his telephone. He walked into his home shut his balcony door and answered the phone.
"Oh hey Andrew," His voice seemed gruff even in his attempt to sound lighthearted. "Yup, I remember. Of course I'll pick up Reika tomorrow! You know I like your kid sister…okay tell your mother I'll be over for dinner in a bit… Bye."
He quickly changed his school clothing. Darien slipped on casual clack slacks and a white shirt. Then he tossed on a light leather jacket as he fumbled for his keys.
"What shall it be today? Motorcycle or car?" Darien smirked to himself as he reached for his blue helmet. "The motorcycle."
IV.
Darien knocked quietly as Andrew opened the door.
"Quiet okay?" Andrew whispered, "Reika's giving a pre-dinner performance."
Darien nodded smiling. 'You don't need to tell me to be quiet.'
He moved expertly into the living room. Darien sat comfortably on the red lounge chair. He never really liked classical, but always had a taste for expressive music. Reika played a short piece from Mozart, a selection from his opera 'The Magic Flute.' Darien grinned with recognition because this was the one opera Andrew dragged him to watch. Darien didn't know one bit of Italian, but he enjoyed the music anyhow.
"Sorry Miss," their maid called in respectfully, "Dinner is done."
Reika stopped playing on a very sweet note. "Okay, we'll be done in a moment."
Andrew smiled gently as he watched Darien soak in another piece of bread. "Hungry?" Andrew asked playfully.
"Well I am college guy who can't cook." He smirked winking at Reika. "You guys eat gourmet food compared to my TV dinners!"
"You're a pretty witty guy, Darien." Reika laughed.
"Yeah well, that's more than he has said in a while." Andrew poked at Darien's elbow.
"So how was your class today, darling?" Reika's mother asked.
"Well, Sere had a little trouble today."
"Poor thing."
"Who is 'Sere'?" Darien asked feeling as if he missed an important part of the conversation.
"Sere is Reika's friend Serena." Andrew added.
"She's special to me." Reika added. "Sere is so nice to me. She's not that much younger than you guys, nineteen, I think."
"Oh okay." Darien said still feeling a little lost. He drank some more of his 'fancy ale.'
"So, your picking up my daughter tomorrow?" boomed Andrew's father.
"Yes sir."
"I hope it's not in that dreaded—" Their mother added dramatically.
"Motorcycle." Reika shrieked uncontrollably. Her father sent her a glare. "Sorry. I just think it is so cool to ride one."
"Thanks," Darien said sheepishly, "But I'll be taking my car tomorrow."
"So," Reika asked eager to get Darien's attention, "What type of music do you like?"
Darien thought for a moment, 'I like Andrew's family, but this is going to be a long night.'
Chapter 2-
Unspoken Connections
I.
Darien pulled up to the small, elite building. Before he actually listened for distinct music all he heard was noise. 'Oh boy, didn't bring any aspirin.' He groaned inwardly. 'It's not tat I purposely try to be antisocial, I just don't like crowds…'
He politely stepped into practicing room. At first he noticed a couple of dozing listeners and the few painful attempts at looking pleased. Darien sat next to a girl with beautiful blonde hair. Her profile was like royalty. For the first time, Darien felt oddly uncomfortable in silence.
He whispered quietly, in longing to see her face. "What are they practicing now?"
Darien thought for a second, 'Maybe I whispered it too softly. Wonder if she is just absorbed by the melody.' He gently touched her shoulder.
At first, Serena jumped and spun around. Her eyes widened as she noticed a handsome face just a few inches away from hers. She smiled pleased to be that close to him. Serena sensed his kindness.
Darien froze enraptured in her beautiful expressive eyes. He felt touched by the emotional gaze she gave that seemed pierce his heart. 'Wow, she is perfect…'
'Perfect?' Serena thought oddly, 'Where did that come from? I don't even know if I know what it means…'
She watched his lips move. She felt like she was listening to "different-speak" – that's what Serena named everything she wasn't sure of— except perfect had a 'nice' feeling to it.
"Miss, what are they practicing?"
Serena shrugged in confusion.
"Sere," Michelle called as she motioned the violin. "Your turn."
Serena nodded. Momentarily, she turned back to Darien and squeezed his hand. 'I like you.' She thought before she rose professionally to go play her part.
'She likes me?' A small smile quirked upwards. 'I'm not sure if I thought that before or after she touched me. Sere? Is that her?'
He watched intently as Serena moved gracefully with her instrument. He was transfixed. Involuntarily, Darien inched closer. Her music sounded so pure. 'It almost reminds me of the locket.' He shut his eyes listening to the deep cries of this woman, Serena. He felt almost pained to hear her sorrows, so readily confessed through the violin.
"Hey Darien!" Reika whispered in his ear, interrupting his moment.
"What?" He snapped breathing heavily.
"Gee, didn't think you were so into classical. I thought you said so yesterday."
"I like this song." He was curt.
"Oh, that's my friend Sere! Isn't she awesome?"
"Don't you have to go somewhere and play?" Darien stopped for moment. 'This is crazy. How can I lose my temper over this girl?' "Sorry, just a little tense, I guess."
Reika looked up with hopeful eyes.
'Oh man, didn't mean to give the kid hopes….' He smiled for a second, realizing that she let him into her thoughts. "She is good." Darien said finally.
"I know, she is Miss M's favorite." Reika watched her friend with pride.
"I tried asking her before what you guys were practicing. I guess she didn't hear me."
Reika's eyes darkened. For a moment, she looked pained. "She didn't hear you in a way."
"What??" Darien asked astonished. Suddenly he began to recall the comments at the dinner table last night with fluidity. Darien heard an aching in his voice, "Please tell me…"
"Well…Serena is special." Reika stilled, holding Darien's gazing in a painfully long pause. "When she was a kid, she was in an accident and it damaged a part of her brain. It messed up the part that helps us learn a language…so she heard you, but might not have understood it all."
"I had no idea." He vividly recalled her strange expression and her gentle touch. He recalled the depth of her eyes…no, there had to be an understanding, he sensed it. "I feel kind of bad, now."
"No don't. Serena doesn't want to be treated differently."
"I see." Darien said wistfully as he gazed at once again.
"Reika," Michelle called quietly. "Come on it's your turn to play that piece."
"Okay, Miss M." Reika turned, starry eyes to Darien, "Class will be over soon. Would you mind giving Sere a ride home, too."
'I wonder if she would mind me calling her Sere?' "Oh sure, just give me the address and stuff."
"Reika!"
"Coming!" She called as she jumped up from the audience chair.
II.
"Thanks again, Darien." Reika said, blushing as she waved both of her friends off.
Andrew turned playfully to her before shutting their door. "Oh it is so obvious."
"What?" Reika asked with paranoia.
Andrew teased her with a cool smile. "You like my friend."
"Nah, what are you talking about?" She squeaked. It seemed that this Reika and Reika, Sere's friend were two different people.
"Please, you drooling over him more than dinner last night. And don't think mom and dad didn't notice it!"
"Oh you are acting so immature. Can't I be nice to one of your friends?"
"There is a difference between nice and flirting! You are way too young for him." Andrew thought inwardly, 'Besides you did not see how he gazed at Sere. Must remember to mention it to ol' Darien.'
"You just don't want anything to happen!"
"No," he called chasing after his sister. "That is not it." 'Ah why does she have to make me feel so guilty?' Andrew jumped as her door slammed. The echo floated through the whole house, and loudest in his mind. "Reika, I just don't want to see you hurt."
Reika sat unmoving on her bed. She cried softly. 'I don't know why I cry anymore. It all just seems like a whirlwind. I wish I could tell Sere. She couldn't understand. She is so beautiful and doesn't even have to try. I saw the way he was looking at her. She doesn't even know it!'
Reika picked up her huge, brown bear and rocked herself until dinnertime.
Chapter 3
Joyous Union
I.
'Usually I am comfortable in silence.' Darien thought as he drove the beauty home. 'But I have never even heard her voice. I bet it sounds lovely.' Darien glanced her way again. She sat smiling, demurely and intently gazing out the window. He reached out gently to squeeze her hand. 'Just to let you know I notice you.'
Serena turned her head slowly. Her eyes brightened. She returned the touch. Darien's hand moved with the smoothness of her fingertips. He felt his hand being massaged softly as her little hands traced the inside of his palm. He breathed outwardly at this quiet pleasure.
Serena smiled again at him. She had become used to sitting in silence. Her thoughts were one of her quiet refuges. She had learned to escape all of life, by just sitting still and going inward. At times, it was all she could do.
'He looks cute…I think that is the word Reika uses when she looks happy and kisses those boys' pictures.' Serena focused on his profile. He looked so old yet young at the same time. 'How old is he? I don't even know. His hair, it is so silky, like a flower petal…' Unbeknownst to Serena, Darien pulled up near her home. She slowly reached out and slipped her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes instinctively. 'So good…so nice…'
'Your touch is lovely,' he thought as he slowly traced her hand in return. 'Do you hear me? Do you understand me?' His eyes were hopeful and intent on her expression.
'Lovely….' Serena shivered slightly. 'I didn't think that…'
Darien froze a moment at her sudden mood shift. He felt something, or at least he thought so. 'Did I do something wrong?'
'No… no…' her mind begged without knowing why. She hadn't been touched like this before. 'Please don't stop…'
'Don't stop…' Darien felt as if he heard her. He quickly scanned the area. 'No one is around. But where did that come from?'
Serena guided his hand to her soft face. She trembled again.
Darien smiled gently. 'Oh if I stay like this I might do something she does not want.' He reached for her hand and kissed it. Before he shut off the car and motioned getting out. For a second, Darien thought he saw her look disappointed.
"Sere," He picked up her nickname easily. His voice sounded awkward to him…raspy because he hadn't used it in a while. He motioned sleeping on a pillow before he asked, "Where do you live?"
Serena looked reluctant to take him home. 'Does she not want me to be seen with her? Or does she…want to stay with me?'
Serena nodded, answering his unanswered question. Darien wasn't sure what she wanted. He shrugged. Serena stepped closer to him as she slipped her arm in his and kissed his cheek before pointing to her house.
Darien beamed. They walked up her walkway proudly. She pulled out her key and motioned for Darien to come in.
He heard a faint rustling in the kitchen.
'Come on,' She thought as she reached for his warm hand and led him forward.
She sensed another presence in her kitchen. Serena's mother turned around. At first it was a surprise to see a young man in her home, but the now rare glow of happiness in Serena's eyes brought a smile to the aged woman's lips.
Instinctively, Serena rushed to her mother kissing and hugging her hello. A sound escaped her, a lovely sound, which to Serena meant mother. Mrs. Tsukino hugged her daughter warmly all while watching Darien's reaction.
Some people seemed revolted at the sound of Serena's voice. Some were afraid of her language. But to her astonishment, Darien seemed pleased.
He shifted his weight on his other leg from his slight discomfort at the open display of emotion, but it tugged at his heart also. 'She sounds like an angel.' Darien didn't care that it wasn't proper language as society knew it, he wasn't a big talker anyway. Darien heard Serena's joy and that emotion, he realized is sometimes lost in words. 'So that is what joy sounds like. The sound of joy without any fancy covering of words.' He looked quietly at the loving family.
"Hello." Mrs. Tskino smiled pleasantly.
"Hello," Darien extended his hand. Serena immediately brought her mother's hand to hold his, all the while not letting go of either person. "My name is Darien."
"Darien." Her mother breathed in the softness of his name. "That is a lovely name."
"Thank you ma'am"
"I see Sere likes you. She rarely brings people home. Only Reika and Andrew…So how have you met my daughter."
Darien pulled a set out for the two lovely ladies before he answered.
"Well, I see you guys know Andrew and his family. Andrew and I are buddies from high school. I never really heard of your daughter until recently. And today, I did Andrew a favor and picked up his sister and Sere, also."
Mrs. Tsukino's nose crinkled at the sound of her daughter's nickname. "Like I said, Sere is usually a good judge of character. So what do you do now?"
Serena instinctively touched Darien's hand. She needed to feel like she was a part of their conversation. Darien smiled softly as he responded with a tight squeeze. 'I'm doing okay, Sere.' "I go to college. I plan to be an engineering major."
"Very good. Very good." Mrs. Tsukino nodded with approval. "Darien would you like to stay for dinner? And maybe a cup of coffee? My husband will be home soon."
"Gee thanks." He laughed sweetly. "College life doesn't really lend itself to the stove."
II.
Mr. Tsukino heard laughter as he the door creaked open. 'What in the world is she doing in here?' He dropped his suitcase near the stair while loosening his tie.
"Honey? Sere?" Mr. Tsukino called as he walked into the living room.
He reddened as he saw a tall young man swirl Serena around to his wife's lovely singing and clapping. Even from this distance he saw Serena's breathless expression. She was radiant in his arms.
"Oh you have such a nice singing voice." Darien smiled as he danced with Serena expertly. "I think, your daughter has an edge on dancing though."
"Darien, you are such a charmer!" She laughed again.
Serena moved gently and playfully with Darien. 'Oh he is so much fun! Mommy really likes him.' She couldn't repress a squeal of delight. 'I do too.'
Darien seemed touched that she would be so comfortable around him and let him know. 'I know she is really self-conscious about making any sounds.' His eyes softened. 'I could almost kiss her right now.' Instead he gazed at Mrs. Tsukino.
"Go ahead," She whispered touched at his apparent emotion.
He kissed her gently on her forehead, lovingly and tenderly. Before he spun her around again. Mrs. Tsukino resumed her singing, this time a smooth love ballad.
"I see music runs in the family."
"Yes it does." Mr. Tsukino said curtly.
All the momentum in the room suddenly stilled.
Mrs. Tsukino recovered slightly, smiling sweetly, "We were just entertaining ourselves before dinner."
"I see that too." He motioned for Serena to come to him.
Obediently she removed Darien's arms from about her. However, she looked back at him once before she greeted her father. His lips trembled as he kissed her cheek softly.
"Hello, Sere."
She nodded. 'I feel like I did something wrong…' She sense her father's uncomfortable nature. For a moment she seemed to hang on his gaze, his expression somehow hurt and loving at the same time. Then, she felt Darien beside her.
"Hello, Mr. Tsukino." His was was gruff but respectful. "I am Darien Shields."
They shook hands in four crisp motions— Up. Down. Up. Down.
'You'll need a shield if you do anything to Sere.' Her father's eyes spoke cynically. "How did you meet her—"
"He is Andrew's friend." Her mother answered quickly. While leading her husband to the kitchen. "Come on honey, we'll get ready to eat. Oh and by the way, Darien is staying as well." She winked at the couple. "Come in about five minutes, Dears."
Darien sighed. As he took Serena's hand again. "It's okay." He whispered.
She nodded.
'Wow, that was interesting.' He thought as he swayed her back and forth. 'I see you are like your mother. Your dad is just a little over protective, but I understand though. He loves you a lot.'
Serena knew what love meant. She knew what it looked like and felt like. Darien looked at he that way. 'I love him too.'
'Yeah I know…' Darien stopped for a moment. His mouth fell open. 'Can…Sere, can you understand me?'
She stared in amazement. 'I…Darien that is your voice?"
'Yes,' he thought gravely. 'I hear…your thoughts…'
'I….don't believe it!' Her eyes flashed with confusion.
'I need to think. Let's go eat dinner with your parents. We will definitely have to meet again.'
'I know.' She looked worried. 'I don't know what to think.'
'Well,' Darien tried to lighten his thoughts. 'Your thoughts sound lovely to me.'
He hugged her gently before taking her arm.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Tsukino kissed her husband gently. "Dear you have to be more understanding. Sere is not a baby any longer."
"But she needs special care and looking after. Darling, you know that. You worry about her too, don't you?"
"Of course I do." She said as she set the table. "But I trust Sere's judgment. She understands people in a way we can't!"
"Sere…is too trusting. And special…and only the best should love her!"
"No she isn't." Her voice was pointed. "How can you say that? She would be quiet even if she couldn't speak! I know. It is in her poise. She is afraid of people. And trusts only a few…that is partly our fault. We kept her so sheltered. In classes of only two students…she never learned how to make a friend."
"But sweetheart, you know kids can be cruel."
"We can't protect her forever. We can't keep her in a bubble! Do you even know if she wants to try to go to college? What she dreams of?"
"We don't know. She hasn't told us!" Anguish escaped his mouth. He quieted in defeat, "I just don't want to see her hurt…again."
"Honey," She slipped her arms around him. "You have to stop blaming yourself. I see it everyday. It is in your eyes. Sere sees it too. We have a wonderful daughter and I wouldn't trade her for anyone on this earth."
"I know." He cupped her face and kissed it softly.
A giggle was heard from the young couple as they walked into the kitchen.
Serena's parents looked up. Her father grinned, "Well, ahem…I guess we are ready to eat!"
"I guess so," Darien said as he pulled out Serena's chair winking at her again. "So Mrs. Tsukino, the dinner smells great."
"Well," she smiled, "Its Sere's favorite."
Serena nodded hungrily as they pulled out the freshly made cornbread. "Ummmmm….." she commented as a steamy piece was plopped on her plate.
Mrs. Tsukino's eyes grew teary as she laughed with the guys. They laughed at her daughter's "normal" reaction.
Chapter 4
A Step Forward
I.
Darien was swamped with work. He could barely concentrate though. All he could think about was the afternoon he spent in Serena's living room. He knew he had a "gift" but he never thought he could meet someone who he could share it with. He never thought it would be Sere.
He stretched lazily as he felt each muscle in his body shift. His eyes ached from staring at the computer. His back was stiff. He began to dread physics. 'Oh and those immature girls!' Darien could picture them now.
"Oh Darien…can you tutor us?" The read head asked she reached out her hand, in an obvious (but bad) attempt at flirting. "That awful physics professor! He is a tyrant."
"Well," He stammered feeling cornered in his seat. "I have other things on my mind right now."
"She doesn't want that!" The blonde said suddenly.
"What?" The redhead snapped.
"You got me in trouble last week…its only fair!" She paused, "She likes you, if you haven't noticed. This girl is practically throwing herself at you. And would probably do anything to get you. See you later guys," She spin on her heel and left.
"She didn't mean that." She mumbled in embarrassment.
"Yes she did. And sorry to be rude, but your friend has the right idea. Good day."
Darien laughed to himself. He did feel like a ton of weight was off his shoulders. 'Now only if I could figure out this physics lab that quickly.'
Darien heard a knock on his door. "Oh well, better go get it."
"Hey Darien," Andrew let him self in even before Darien rose from his chair.
"Let yourself in, be at home Andrew." Darien said sarcastically.
"Okay tell me."
"What are you talking about?"
Andrew turned his chair backwards. "Sere. I haven't heard from in a couple of days and I got the feeling something is up."
'More than you'll ever guess.' "You're acting like a junior high school kid."
"Come on Darien, TELL ME." Andrew kidded, "What do you think I am, a mind reader?"
Darien turned pale for a fraction of a second. "Uh well it is nothing you should concern yourself with."
"I think I should. You know my sister has a crush on you…"
"I kind of got that feeling. She hasn't been at music class and I've been picking up Sere everyday."
"Yeah, I know you have."
"Tell Reika I'm sorry."
"It'll be like this until she has another crush. I'm hoping he is her age though."
"Just like the big brother."
"Well, if I had my way, she wouldn't see any one." He paused with a twinkle in his eye, "Anyone except Melvin."
"Oh that is messed up!"
"Okay enough stalling."
"I never stall." Darien rose from his seat and turned to look outside. "Andrew, you know she is incredible. You have to see it."
"Yeah, but isn't it hard? I mean, don't you feel weird?"
"Some times…but people don't always communicate with words." 'Heh, heh you can't even imagine how we talk!' Darien continued, "Some people take for granted the other ways you can express yourself."
"Like through music."
"Yes. Or even body language and facial expressions." Darien smiled, "It is not like Sere doesn't completely speak a different language. She senses tones. And recognizes some words and gestures. She is a beautiful girl and has me hooked."
"I am glad for you two."
"Thanks."
"Yeah well, I guess that is what I wanted to know."
"Will Reika be all right?"
"I'll make her go to her music class tomorrow." Andrew rose joining Darien to stare at the skyline, "Besides Miss M has called in concern. Sere, from what I heard, misses her, too."
"Okay Andrew."
Silence fell between the two friends.
Each man stood still, thinking of how to help a girl they loved.
II.
Serena gazed into her mirror.
Her eyes seemed full of different emotions she couldn't describe. Darien and his kindness left her feeling so refreshed. Their secret connection even before they discovered they could "talk" had pulsed within her.
'I am not sure…how to say I know I was supposed to meet him. I don't know why I trust him. I don't know why…Maybe it had something to do when I fell as a child…maybe Darien can help me? I…hope I stay happy with him.'
Her mother knocked on the door.
"Sere?"
Serena turned around automatically. The sweet scent of peppermint and lilies followed her mother everywhere. It made her feel safe inside.
"What are you doing?"
Serena motioned for the brush. Without even asking her mother stepped over to Serena's small dresser and began to brush Serena's long luscious hair. Serena shut her eyes, enjoying the sweet caress of her mother's touch. She felt like a child once again.
'Oh mom! I wish I could ask you questions about how I feel!'
"Sere, I know this has been a long bunch of days for you." She touched her daughter's heart. "Just follow this. If you want to go to school or fall in love…" Mrs. Tsukino's eyes filled with tears, "I hope you understand this…I love you. You are my baby girl, but I am ready to let you go. You have to grow…I can't stop you from leaving and living, or why else have you survived?"
Serena understood her mother's message. Her tones and expressions said it all. She knew what loved looked like. Her mother gazed at her like that. So did Darien. And she wanted to have that look too.
III.
"I don't really want to go, Andrew." Reika said before she walked into Miss M's room.
"You can't avoid them forever."
"But class hasn't started yet. It is still early."
"That's the point. I want you to spend time with Sere. Don't you miss her at all?"
"Yeah, I sort of do."
"Okay so go with your magic and make each other smile okay? Please."
"You know that was a really nice thing to say to me Andy."
He smiled. She hadn't called him Andy in years. He hugged her quickly. "Okay Reika get going. I'll be back later to drive you home."
Reika nodded as she grabbed her viola case and rushed out.
Serena straightened herself. Feeling a little tired and lonely without Reika. She played a saddened "Moonlight Sonata" on her violin. Each note hung in the air, quivering. She mourned her friend through the violin strings.
Darien listened with an aching heart. He almost wanted to jump up and hold her. With their schedules being so busy lately, he hadn't had to really talk to her. 'I think when I get the chance I'll tell her about my childhood.' Darien, still green from college, absorbed ideologies like with Freud. "Every action can be explained as a result of some childhood trauma…"
Reika stood at the threshold. Her heart pounded faster than she wanted it to. Serena's brilliant swaying held her gaze. She turned to see Darien, attentive and also absorbed… 'Where is Miss M?'
"Reika!" Michelle whispered warmly. "Oh my principal viola chair was growing cobwebs. Oh how are you? Is everything okay?"
"I'll be okay. I guess just going through the teenage stuff."
"Oh I remember those days, too much going on that I felt I could handle."
"Yeah, it sort of is that way."
"Well, if you need someone to talk to…"She reached over and hugged her other favorite. "Music has not been the same without you. And I think Sere would agree. Listen to her play…"
Reika felt Sere's sadness. It broke her heart. She was a good friend. She turned questionably to Michelle.
Michelle whispered, "Go."
Reika wonder softly over past Darien. He smiled gently at her, happy to see her back. Her small touched Sere's shoulder. The young woman turned around with tears in her eyes. 'I have missed you.' Her eyes swam with happy and sad flashes.
"Oh Sere," Reika pulled her gently to her. "I'm sorry we didn't talk. I was just so sad and jealous…"
Sere whimpered emotionally. 'I'm sorry too.'
For a long time the girls remained in each other's embrace.
Finally, Darien rose and walked over to both ladies. He hugged Reika gently, then kissed Sere tenderly. He spoke softly before he pulled out two roses. "Reika I am sorry for the misunderstanding, It's been a rough couple of days. The white is for friendship."
She accepted it and smiled.
Serena's eyes lit up at the sight of a perfect red rose. 'For me?'
'Of course, Sere.'
Reika watched something go on between the two wordless lovers. She could almost feel their connection. Or was she just imagining it?
'Darien, I've been thinking…'
'Me too…I've missed you, terribly.'
'I felt so sad without you, but we need to talk…'
'When Sere?'
'How about tonight?'
'Yes that would be fine. After music…'
She nodded and kissed his cheek. Then Darien returned to his seat.
The class seemed to fly by. Serena was attentive to her music, but nervous. She had been thinking of all the things that she had discovered these past couple of days. Her new desire for independence, longing for love, and her secret gift.
Chapter 5
True Seekings
I.
Serena walked hand in hand with Darien. To any outside couple they would appear to be silent. Yet their expressions told everything. Lively and in love.
'Sere, I could not get through this week without thinking of you.'
'Oh me too. Mom said it was okay for me to…grow up.'
'I'm happy for you…' He paused for a moment unable to stop him self from kissing her full lips. 'We need…to talk…'
'I know…' Her thoughts seemed hazy with desire.
"Serena," Darien said suddenly, "We have to go to my apartment."
'What?'
"I need to show you something, trust me."
They walked swiftly to his apartment (with a few stops along the way for kisses).
Darien led her into an immaculate living room. He motioned, "be right back."
Buried under his papers, Darien stripped his cabinet and didn't find it! Then he searched his night table. 'Ah hah!'
'I heard that.'
Darien chuckled. He no longer sensed the loneliness of his apartment with Serena in his life, he valued his life more so than before she was in his life. Then, Darien pulled out the locket he found.
'Open it."
'Okay,' Serena trembled. The whirling music box notes awakened his little apartment. 'Oh it is so beautiful…so perfect…'
"I wanted you to see it." He finished in his thoughts, ' I wanted you to see a part of my past.'
'What happened?'
'It belonged to my mother. My parents died in a car accident. I had a really bad head injury and when I woke up, I could tap into some people's thoughts. People think too many words, so I rarely have used or even tried to develop it. Until I met you. So what is your story?'
'When I was a kid I had a really bad stair accident, I fell…my dad blames him self. The doctors said I couldn't learn the language like "normal" kids. I thought I could talk…my sounds made perfect sense to me.'
'What are we going to do?' Darien pulled her close to his chest. His heart pounded. 'I've been trying to think of an answer, but all I could think about was not seeing you and your beautiful expressions.'
'I have missed you so much…'
'Sere can I tell you something?' She nodded. 'I don't think I want you to change. I don't know how you would be different if you could speak like everyone. There is a pure loveliness to you and your feelings…you do nothing to flower your emotions. And that is why I love you so much…because you are so honest… so raw…so untouched…I don't want to sound selfish, but this connection we have is for just us…'
'I…had no idea you felt like that…' Her eyes rounded with tears, 'but I want to learn so badly! I feel as if I am left out of something too. I want to be like everyone else…I hate being different or special…some people are afraid of me…and I don't know if I can trust many people I…Can't you help me, Darien, please?'
He kissed her gently with a compromising smile. 'If I do, I hope we don't lose this connection we have. There is a chance that once you learn, you'll become like all the rest…I'm sorry Sere…I'll feel so lonely, but I will do it. We could have lessons I guess…I'll tell you what it sounds like and we'll try from there…'
'Thank you!' She hugged him affectionately. 'Please don't be sad…'
'I'll try…'
II.
Darien grabbed her hand and placed it to his throat as he spoke simple sentences, simultaneously saying them in his mind. Often she would wail in frustration. 'This is too hard…'
'Sere, please, don't give up…this is the only way I can help. You know we can't tell anyone…'
The same drills over and over. She could have almost gone crazy if it wasn't Darien's voice in her mind. Day, after day, after day. She mimicked sounds and felt like so inadequate. But Serena had to stay focused. Serena had to…she wanted so badly to be like everyone else. Her passion consumed her. She rarely had time to practice the violin anymore. She used less gestured when around Reika and her own parents. Everyone saw that she was changing right before their eyes…
Meanwhile, Darien heard less and less of her thoughts. He grew tired and saddened when she tried to speak with her voice. He was pleased, but lonely. He missed her beautiful thoughts. He missed her expressions and ached for the Sere he knew he was losing.
Serena was released from her cocoon of silence…
"Mom," Serena yelled in excitement.
"Sere?" Her mother ran to her in amazement. "Sere! How…who…oh my goodness, Sere darling. I can understand you…"
"Mom…I want to sing…mom…Darien…I love you…" Serena wasn't sure that everything she said made sense but the words Darien taught her: "Love," "Happiness," and "Family," she found that she felt these feelings before and now had names for them.
"Sere, oh my Sere, this is a miracle. Darien helped you?"
"Yes…Darien…" His name sounded so wonderful with her own voice. "Darien."
"I knew he would do something important for you…I knew it the first time I met him. We have to call Dad. Oh he will be relieved after all this time!"
III.
"Darien," her words were choppy, but understandable, "Now…other people can help me…" She tired again as she reached for his hand, "Talk to me."
He remained silent as he gazed out his balcony. 'You don't think anymore…I miss you. You are not the same…'
"Oh Darien," She smiled meekly. 'I didn't forget how we used to talk…'
"Used to? Huh?" Darien said with sarcasm. It was the first time ever that he spoke harshly to Serena. She was taken a back. "I am already in the past tense…"
"I…sorry… I hurt you…."
"Yeah I know you are." He felt cold and alone. "When is the last time you went to music class? Or saw Reika? Or shoed your parents that you loved them? Serena just don't lose a part of yourself over words…don't get caught up in the fanciness of language…actions speak louder than words…"
Involuntarily her mind wandered, forgetting he could "hear" her thoughts. 'It is the first time he called me Serena. Am I so different now?'
He filled her mind with his sadness. 'People hide in their thoughts Serena. Like you tried to do now.' He felt far away from her. 'I promise not to invade in them again. They are not meant for me, anymore…'
Then Serena remained silent.
IV.
Serena, in bliss had almost forgotten about her ailment.
She sat in the quiet library, her new place of solace, she hadn't known that talking would cause her to need an external place for silence. She sat there whispering words to herself, not caring if the librarian looked angered.
"Miss, you have to quiet down." She said in a sharp whisper. "This is a LIBRARY."
Serena looked up for a second and thought, 'Oh I wish you would be quiet..'
Maybe it happened because it was her first mean thought. Or maybe because she had changed in too many ways, too soon…but without warning like a stab in her head, something popped.
Serena thought she was going to die. Intense pain cut through her mind and she couldn't explain why. The lights in the room seemed to flash. She felt her knees buckle as she fell off her chair. The librarian rushed to her side asking, "Miss are you all right. Are you all right?"
For that moment in her life, Serena could not speak. She cried out in pain, trembling and sweaty. Every word she ever learned, she forgot at that moment.
However, Darien stomped hastily up the stairs as he clutched his book. "I have to finish this physics lab in peace. That darn red head is at me again." He moaned with impatience, "I can't deal with girls like that!"
He thought solemnly, 'Sere you are like them too…' Darien hated himself for not being happy because of her success, but she had lost something in her changes. Darien noticed that her parents and friends lost their "pep," too. Serena refreshed them all with her honesty and he sensed that they were beginning to realize that truth also.
'Darien,' She thought desperately. 'Darien, oh god, I need you now…call an ambulance…please…' She stared blankly at the books, 'Please….'
Darien keeled over at this sudden sharp pain. He thought he heard a faint whisper in his mind…then he heard a frantic call of his name…'Sere?'' His mind flashed with rows of books and realized, "She is here!"
He raced up the corridor to see her sprawled on the floor. He rushed to Serena as the librarian looked frightened and helpless.
"She doesn't make sense…all I hear are sounds! She won't talk help her!"
"Call 911!" Darien ordered hastily as the old librarian rushed to the telephone.
Darien touched Serena's tear streaked face. She smiled a painfully small smile.
'I heard you call me, Sere.' His eyes rounded as he traced her face. 'Oh you hurt so bad, I can tell...'
"I think it was because I thought something mean…'
'You're not being punished Sere…'
'But I have hurt people anyway…I should hurt the same way… Darien…sorry.'
'No time for apologies.' He hushed her with a kiss before the medics came to take her away to the hospital.
All of Serena's friends and family huddled in the waiting room.
Her father paced nervously back and forth. His eyes were darkened with worry. He touched his wife's teary face before walking into the doctor's office again.
'I'm having a terrible flashback…' He thought grimly before the door shut.
Darien walked over to Seren's mother and hugged her warmly.
"Thank you for taking care of her so well, Darien."
"I needed too…"
"I know she is different…but right now I'd take Serena anyway I could find her, I just want her out of that bed!"
Andrew walked over to his sister Reika. he sipped at his coffee as he handed her a soda. He said in a low whisper, "Hey sis, do you want me to take you home. It is getting late."
"I'm not leaving until I see Sere."
"But I don't think you would like it…you might get upset."
"Didn't you tell me that I couldn't avoid her?"
"I…" Andrew muttered. "Yes, but…."
"Let her stay for Sere," Michelle said as put her arms her student. "I think both girls need to see each other…" Tears welled in Michelle's eyes as she tired to keep her composure.
"Well," Andrew relented, "Just take it easy okay Reika?"
"I'll stay with Miss M for a while."
"Yes, just keep us posted." Michelle added as a wise after thought.
Mr.Tsukino felt his head spin. "No you can't be kidding me?"
This time the young doctor from many years ago looked older and more tired. "I'm sorry sir, this is the only way…"
"I don't know if I can let you operate on her…She has come so far!"
"Okay, let me try to explain it from my view. Serena's condition worsened silently. And if we don't remove the part of her brain that has…"
"Has what?"
"Cancer…"
"But I thought it was because of her fall? Her accident years ago?"
"We didn't know back then. She was given the wrong tests…It seems that whatever stress she had lately has triggered a growth…I can't say the fall didn't accelerate it…well I really can't say anything…cancer is a relatively new concept and the rage in all the journals…"
"I don't care what the journals say! My daughter isn't a science experiment!"
"I'm sorry, sir, but talk it over with your family. We don't know how this thing is going to accelerate and she could die…"
His world shattered at those words. He turned mechanically and left the doctor's office. He walked over to his wife, sobbing as he told her he news. A dread came over everyone in the waiting room as they thought of their beautiful Sere.
"We have to tell her…" her husband cried mournfully.
"I don't think I can bare to either, Darling…" She clung to her husband for support.
"Let me." Darien's voice was restrained with emotions. "Just tell me all the details and let Sere make her own decision."
VI.
'Sere…'Darien walked cautiously into the room. The white hospital gown brought out her now paling blue eyes. 'We need to talk. Let me in…'
'I hear you…'She sensed his sadness. 'Darien tell me…'
'Well the doctor spoke to your parents…'
'Don't flower your thoughts Darien…be honest like you said to me…'
He reached for her hand, stroking it gently. 'That accident…al your troubles with speaking has nothing to do with it. There is this new disease called Cancer…they don't know where it came from or how to really stop it, but you have it…'
'What? What does that mean' Her thoughts flew in a rapid panic.
'They have to remove it from your brain in surgery…but it also means that it'll affect how you speak. Sere, you might go back to the way you used to be…the words you speak with will go back to sounds that don't make any sense… but if not you could die!' Tears began to fall as he struggled to stay calm. That thought could have killed him too.
'I don't want to die…'She thought trembling as her face went through multitudes of expressions. 'I have no choice…I rather be alive and express how I feel…'
He clutched her tightly. And the decision was made that night to undergo this risky surgery.
EPILOGUE
Serena felt good to be out of the hospital finally.
She exhaled the air with a renewed freshness. Darien held her hand in respectful silence. 'Sere?'
'Yeah…' She turned to him and squeezed his hand.
'Just like the way we first met…' His thought was somewhat poignant. 'Do you feel different?'
'I don't know yet…I don't want to pretend to talk…'
'I'm sorry.'
'Maybe in this silence I will learn that I have gained some thing…' she reflected more to herself, 'I have time to think again.'
'Well I'll be with you…'
'I know…I just have to find me again…'
'You will…truth is an easy thing for you to find…'
'To thy own self be true…is that how it goes?'
'Yes Sere…THAT is how it goes…'
And they walked off in a comfortable silence.
~fin Selene (*
