"What am I supposed to do, with all these blues
haunting me, everywhere
no matter what I do.
Waching the candle flicker out in the Evening glow
I can't let go! When will this night be over?"
I can say with great ceartainty I will never love anyone like I loved her. The stupid broad had to go and kill herself to save the world. Why? I would have taken her place any day. But NNNNNNOOOOO she had to go all hero-ish and kill herself. People are going to miss her, she knew that. I'm going to miss her. I wish she would have just let anyone (me) but her go into there. I guess it was a Summers thing then. You know Niblet wanted to go in there, big sis did it to keep her from having to do it. Always was a stubborn little brat. Maybe that's why I loved her so much. God, I don't think I can live with out her, her beautiful hair, those gorgeous eyes and her bubbly laugh. NO! Why did they have to take her? Maybe if I get a good days rest I'll be over her.
"Seen alot of broken hearts go sailin' by,
Phantom ships, lost at sea, one of them is mine
Raisin' my glass I sing a toast, to the midnight sky,
I wonder why, the stars don't seem to guide me."
AAlllllrrriiiiighght so it didn't work. I try drunk now. It doesn't seem to be workin very good either. I'm so lost! Slayer was my world, now she's gone. BYE BYE!! I would kill my self but I don't have the guts to do it. Betchya Xander would do it, or maybe the watcher guy, Giles I think is his name. My only solace is the stars, they always seemed to help me when I was upset. When Dru left me they were in the same position. Same as when Angel got his soul back. Damned Stars! They did this to me. They aren't my solace, rather, they are my enemy.
" I didn't mean to fall in love with you,
and baby there's a name for what you put me through,
it isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleepin' with the ghost of you and me."
I had a dream yesterday. Quite an odd one actually. She was still alive, well sorta. She looked all vampy, pale and all. And to my horror I told her to sod off, to just go away. I would never do that! Well, if I was in a bad mood maybe, but not normally. Well, when I woke up, there she was. She told me to let go. I kinda snorted at that comment. That was not gonna happen.
"The ghost of you and me,
when will it set me free?
I hear the voices call,
following footsteps down the hall.
Tryin' to save what's left of my heart and soul.."
Last night I went to the Summers residence. Giles had taken to staying there, and I would visit Niblet almost nightly. Well, I was walkin towards her room and Giles told me she was asleep. I talked Giles into letting me stay for the rest of the night to help her when she got up. Around 3 A.M. I heard something in her room. I got up and I looked in. There she was again. Now this time she had a different message, "Spike, William, Look after Dawn, oh and one more thing, you are so sure I didn't love you back. I wouldn't be." that night changed my whole perspective on things. Now I'm more, I dunno, at rest, with the idea of her being gone.
"Watchin' the candle flicker out
in the evening glow, I can't let go
When will the night be over?"
Alright, so now here I am. Watching this little nub of a candle(one of many) slowly fade out. I'm in a church of all places, and I find myself praying. Something I have not done in over a hundred years. Well then again, I never thought I'd fall in love with the slayer. The pain in my heart has decreased since my last talk with her. I realize that she, Buffy, may be gone, but that's ok.
haunting me, everywhere
no matter what I do.
Waching the candle flicker out in the Evening glow
I can't let go! When will this night be over?"
I can say with great ceartainty I will never love anyone like I loved her. The stupid broad had to go and kill herself to save the world. Why? I would have taken her place any day. But NNNNNNOOOOO she had to go all hero-ish and kill herself. People are going to miss her, she knew that. I'm going to miss her. I wish she would have just let anyone (me) but her go into there. I guess it was a Summers thing then. You know Niblet wanted to go in there, big sis did it to keep her from having to do it. Always was a stubborn little brat. Maybe that's why I loved her so much. God, I don't think I can live with out her, her beautiful hair, those gorgeous eyes and her bubbly laugh. NO! Why did they have to take her? Maybe if I get a good days rest I'll be over her.
"Seen alot of broken hearts go sailin' by,
Phantom ships, lost at sea, one of them is mine
Raisin' my glass I sing a toast, to the midnight sky,
I wonder why, the stars don't seem to guide me."
AAlllllrrriiiiighght so it didn't work. I try drunk now. It doesn't seem to be workin very good either. I'm so lost! Slayer was my world, now she's gone. BYE BYE!! I would kill my self but I don't have the guts to do it. Betchya Xander would do it, or maybe the watcher guy, Giles I think is his name. My only solace is the stars, they always seemed to help me when I was upset. When Dru left me they were in the same position. Same as when Angel got his soul back. Damned Stars! They did this to me. They aren't my solace, rather, they are my enemy.
" I didn't mean to fall in love with you,
and baby there's a name for what you put me through,
it isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleepin' with the ghost of you and me."
I had a dream yesterday. Quite an odd one actually. She was still alive, well sorta. She looked all vampy, pale and all. And to my horror I told her to sod off, to just go away. I would never do that! Well, if I was in a bad mood maybe, but not normally. Well, when I woke up, there she was. She told me to let go. I kinda snorted at that comment. That was not gonna happen.
"The ghost of you and me,
when will it set me free?
I hear the voices call,
following footsteps down the hall.
Tryin' to save what's left of my heart and soul.."
Last night I went to the Summers residence. Giles had taken to staying there, and I would visit Niblet almost nightly. Well, I was walkin towards her room and Giles told me she was asleep. I talked Giles into letting me stay for the rest of the night to help her when she got up. Around 3 A.M. I heard something in her room. I got up and I looked in. There she was again. Now this time she had a different message, "Spike, William, Look after Dawn, oh and one more thing, you are so sure I didn't love you back. I wouldn't be." that night changed my whole perspective on things. Now I'm more, I dunno, at rest, with the idea of her being gone.
"Watchin' the candle flicker out
in the evening glow, I can't let go
When will the night be over?"
Alright, so now here I am. Watching this little nub of a candle(one of many) slowly fade out. I'm in a church of all places, and I find myself praying. Something I have not done in over a hundred years. Well then again, I never thought I'd fall in love with the slayer. The pain in my heart has decreased since my last talk with her. I realize that she, Buffy, may be gone, but that's ok.
