Disclaimer: The TV Show 'Friends' and all the characters inside it don't belong to me.
'Friend Request'
October, 2009
It was a quiet Saturday night in the Green-Geller residence. Rachel Green was reading a book peacefully in her living room, propping her legs into the coffee table and occasionally sipping a steaming cup of chamomile tea.
The kids were already asleep in their rooms upstairs, while her husband was sitting beside her, typing out a journal that was due on Monday. Comfortable silence fell between the married couple and the only noises that filled the room was the sound of their two-year-old pug, Rex, snoring loudly as he snuggled in between the couple. Rachel gave the dog an occasional rub on his tummy as she continued to read her book.
"This is why he refused to sleep anywhere else but beside you." Ross shook his head, watching his wife and their dog with an amused smile. "You're treating him like a baby."
"Rex is my baby. Fur baby." Rachel giggled, looking at her husband with a playful smile. "You're just jealous because he claimed your spot."
"I don't think I like him. He always snuggles next to you and puts his butt over my face…" He frowned. "…to make it worse, he farts all the time and his fart smells like rotten potatoes. If it's not for the kids, I'd give him away to Monica a long time ago."
"Oh, come on. You didn't mean it. You'll be lonely without Rex."
"I'll be fine without Rex." Ross muttered quietly, although contrary to his words, his free hand reaching out to rub the dog's belly.
Instantly, the dog responded to his touch and he settled closer to Ross, resting his head into Ross' thighs.
"Aw, you two are the cutest."
Ross smiled.
"Let me snap a quick picture of you two, I'll post it on Facebook."
Rachel quickly grabbed her blackberry from the table and snapped a few pictures of Ross and their dog.
"Let me look at the pictures before you post it."
Rachel rolled her eyes, but gave him her phone anyway. Satisfied, Ross gave Rachel her phone back and with a few clicks the pictures were posted.
"You tagged me, right?" Ross asked after a while, his fingers moving smoothly over the cursor as he refreshed his Facebook profile. A smile erupted from his lips when he saw a new notification. "Oh, never mind. The notification just came in."
"-and you said you'd be fine without him." Rachel shook her head and smiled. "Oh, can I borrow your laptop for a sec? I left mine at the office and I need to send out an email to my assistant before I forget."
"Sure." Ross handed her his laptop. "I'll just grab some beer from the kitchen. Do you want anything?"
"No, thanks." She flashed him a smile as he kissed her forehead and left.
Rachel smiled as she saw his picture with their dog, she had just tagged him. He was smiling so brightly at the camera, one hand on the dog's belly…. and yet he kept saying things he didn't mean.
Ross and Rex were best buddy. He took Rex to the park almost every day and to the dog park every weekend with the kids. Ross loved the dog, though he wouldn't admit it out loud because Rex was more attached to her than him, even though Ross had been the person who brought Rex home from the shelter as a birthday gift for Rachel's 37th birthday.
"Your daddy is a silly man, isn't he?" Rachel cooed at the dog, giving him another belly rub. "He didn't mean it. Of course, he loves you, you're his buddy."
Rachel smiled as she took a last look of the picture of Ross' and their dog before she finally decided to send the email before she forgot again. She was about to open a new tab when suddenly a new notification from Ross' Facebook caught her attention.
Ross had recently made a Facebook account. At first, Ross was very reluctant to join the hype, thinking that Facebook was nothing but a waste of time. He was so skeptical about it that it took Rachel and Monica a whole year just to persuade him to make an account. Unlike Ross, Monica and Rachel had joined Facebook shortly after it became so popular. Basically, every single person they knew, including her parents and Ross' parents also made a Facebook account.
In a short amount of time, it became a place where they could stay connected to their family and friends. Even recently - through Facebook, Rachel had reunited with her childhood friend she hadn't seen since almost two decades ago.
It was only after Ross saw how powerful and useful Facebook is that he decided to make one for himself.
It didn't take long for Ross to get hooked.
He posted almost every picture he had taken of their family and especially children on Facebook. He joined and even made a group for Paleontologists in the Tri-state area. They even hosted a small gathering just last month and Rachel was more than amused when she found out the first time.
See... This is why I told you a billion times that you should make an account. I know you're going to like it.
Ross just smiled shyly and finally admitted that she was right.
He became very active online and he made a lot of friends through it.
"Let's see what he's getting himself into this time" Rachel murmured to herself.
Curiosity got the best of Rachel and instead of opening a new tab, her eyes caught the notifications alert and with a simple click, Rachel managed to see what the notifications were about. It didn't take long for Rachel to notice that he had just gotten a new friend request.
Her hand stopped as she read the name.
Emily Waltham.
"Huh."
Feeling more curious than ever, Rachel clicked her profile and instantly Emily's profile popped up on the screen.
Her profile picture was an older version of the woman who once married to her husband for a short couple month. She clicked a few times, looking at a numerous pictures Emily had posted. A few pictures were showing Emily with a little girl. From the caption, it was certain that the girl was Emily's daughter. She kept clicking and clicking, and more and more pictures came out. The gallery mostly contained the pictures of Emily and her daughter, a few pictures of Emily's parents Rachel recognized from the wedding, a few of friends and family, and even a couple pictures of the family's cat.
Something felt off as Rachel was looking at Emily's gallery.
There was not a single picture of Emily's husband.
"That's weird." Rachel muttered and scrolled down, trying to find more information regarding her husband's ex-wife.
Her heart almost dropped as she read Emily's relationship status.
Single.
Feeling more and more curious, Rachel looked up at Emily's friends lists and a few minutes later, she found a man who had a picture of himself and a young girl that looked exactly like Emily's daughter as his profile picture.
She clicked on his profile.
Colin Lewis.
"Colin… Colin… Where did I hear that name before?"
With a few more clicks, a photo of Emily, Colin, and their daughter at what appeared to be their daughter's birthday party showed up.
Rachel was so focused on what she was doing that she failed to notice that she wasn't alone anymore.
"Hey, it turns out we ran out of milk, remind me to run to the grocery store tomorrow morning."
Rachel almost dropped the laptop as she suddenly heard his voice. Panicked, she scrambled away to close the tab but somehow in the midst of a chaos, she accidentally deleted Emily's friend request. Her eyes went wide with panic and it didn't go unnoticed by Ross.
He frowned, stepping closer to his wife.
"Everything alright with work?"
"Huh?" She swallowed and suddenly her mind went blank.
Ross' frown grew deeper. "You said you were going to send an email to your assistant but you looked so pale right now, is everything ok? Do you need to stop by at work in the morning?"
"Uhm, no. Everything is ok with work." Rachel placed the laptop down, suddenly feeling like she needed fresh air to breathe.
"Are you sure you're ok, sweetie?"
"Yeah, I'm just going to get ready for bed early. I'm getting exhausted."
She then kissed him goodnight just like every other night.
"Alright." He smiled. "Have a nice sleep, I'll join you in a bit."
"Good night."
After bidding good night to her husband, Rachel headed upstairs toward the master bedroom and as soon as she closed the door, she picked up her phone and dialed her sister-in-law's number.
With just a few rings, Monica picked up.
"Hey, Rach. I was about to call you about our girls' night next Friday. Are we still on that?"
"Mon, I think I just did something really stupid." Rachel started to ramble, completely ignoring Monica's question. "I swear I didn't mean to do it, but Ross suddenly came back, I panicked, and I accidentally deleted it. Oh, god. What should I do? I can't even look him in the eye! I feel so horrible and I don't-"
"Wow. Hang on." Monica cut Rachel off from her rambles. "What's exactly happening? What did you accidentally delete? Is it Ross' important work documents?"
"No." Rachel sighed as she paced on the length of their master bedroom, occasionally throwing nervous glances toward the door, not wanting her husband to overhear everything.
"Well, what is it then? And please start from the beginning."
"Well, you see…" Rachel chewed her bottom lips. "I was borrowing Ross' laptop to look over my emails and I haven't even been able to log in into my email account when the notification from his Facebook caught my attention."
"Oh, no." Monica gasped. "You didn't. Please tell me you didn't look."
"I did!" Rachel groaned, regretting her first mistake she had made tonight.
"Oh, Rach. Essentially, you're breaching his privacy."
"I know!" Rachel groaned louder, feeling exasperated at herself.
Why did she do it again?
"Why did you do that?" Monica voiced her question.
"Ross didn't close his Facebook page when he handed the laptop to me and I swear, Mon, I was about to open a new tab when the notification came in."
"-and then you saw it. You read the notification."
"I did." Rachel murmured. "-but that's not the worst thing. The worst thing happened when I read what the notification was about."
"Oh, god. What did it say? Ross didn't do anything stupid, did he? Did he buy another overly expensive fossil out of Facebook again?"
"Oh, no. It's not like that. In fact, he didn't get to do anything about it, I bet he's still clueless now." Rachel sighed.
"Well, are you going to keep me waiting all night or are you gonna tell me now?"
"He had a new friend request" Rachel swallowed before saying her next words, "-from Emily. Emily sent a friend request to my husband." She whispered, feeling the lump formed in her throat.
"Emily? As in Ross' ex-wife, Emily?"
"Yes."
"The one who asked Ross to never see you again, that Emily?"
"Yes!" Rachel yelled exasperatedly, still feeling furious whenever she remembered how Emily treated Ross during the entire marriage.
Okay, Ross was wrong. Let's get it straight, if he had said another woman's name on their wedding day, Rachel was sure as hell she wouldn't have married him. He was the idiot who said another woman's name on the altar. Emily had every right to be mad at Ross, but she decided to marry him in spite of everything. Emily married him, but treated Ross horribly the entire marriage.
Rachel knew Emily felt threatened by her.
Who wouldn't?
Ross did say Rachel's name on the altar and it wasn't that long since the last time they broke up. With so much history between the two, any sane woman who's with Ross at that point, would be feeling insecure around Rachel.
But did it give Emily the right to walk all over him and treat him like shit?
Emily could've cancelled the wedding after he said the wrong name, so why did she choose to marry him then?
Rachel never would've known what was going through Emily's mind at the time, but she was certainly sure that she didn't want Emily in her life, their life. Ever.
"Okay." Monica said slowly. "-but it's been more than a decade since they got divorce and last time we heard, she's getting married to someone else. I mean, is it really that bad she wants to be friends with him on Facebook? It's what Facebook is for, right? For us to reconnect with people from our past, just like you did with your childhood friend."
"That's different, my friend is not my ex-husband" Rachel tried to reason, couldn't hide her jealousy anymore. "-besides, she's divorced."
"Who? Emily? Yeah, she divorced Ross. I think we all know about that." Monica said, sounding confused.
"No, Mon. She's single now, I saw her profile and then her ex-husband's profile. They have a daughter together, but they're no longer together."
"Oh, god. You spy on their profiles too? It's only getting worse, doesn't it?"
"I know. I know" Rachel sighed. "I got curious and I might spy on them and believe me, I'm not proud of myself, especially when he suddenly came into the room and then I accidentally deleted Emily's friend request."
Rachel winced.
"Oh, no… That's bad." Monica sighed, cringing inwardly.
"I know!" Rachel sighed exasperatedly. "-but that's not my only concern, Mon. She's single now and out of nowhere she decided to look for Ross' name on Facebook and sent in a friend request? That doesn't look weird to you?"
"Maybe she just wants to reconnect with him? I don't know…"
"For what, Mon?" Rachel asked. "What did she exactly want with him?"
"I don't know, honey." Monica said truthfully. "Look, I know you hate her - god knows I hate her too… but, let him decide. You do trust him, right? I mean, how long have you guys been back together again? Five years, right?"
"Five years this May."
Rachel couldn't help but smile as she thought about these last five years she had spent with him. It had undoubtedly been the best years of her life.
"You've been through so much together and honestly, if you never borrowed his laptop and then you found out he had accepted Emily's friend request, would you be jealous? Would you still trust him?"
"I'll always trust him, no matter what." Rachel answered confidently. "I've never questioned his faithfulness toward me and we promised to each other - no more secrets, so I think he'd eventually tell me about it or even before he accepted Emily's friend request. He respects my opinion and the last thing he'd wanted to do is to hurt my feelings, so I know he'd ask me before doing anything about it."
"Do the same, then."
"What do you mean?"
"The promise not to keep any more secrets, it goes both ways, right?"
"Of course."
"Then tell him the truth. Tell him everything you just told me, tell him how you feel about Emily and apologize to him for breaching his privacy. From what you've been telling me, I think you two need to have a long overdue talk about what happened in London more than a decade ago."
Rachel swallowed, knowing that Monica was right.
The topic of London had never come out, not even once.
Ross and Rachel did have a deep talk where they discussed their past relationship. With a bottle of Merlot, one night after she got off the plane, they sat and talked - figuring out what actually went wrong with their relationship in the past, apologizing and forgiving each other for their past mistakes, and promising to never repeat the same mistakes again. They had ended that night falling asleep in each other's arms. Their heads were full, but their hearts never felt so much lighter.
It wasn't the only time the couple had discussed their past, but for some reason, the topic of London never came out.
Maybe it was indeed long overdue.
"You're right. I need to tell Ross everything." Rachel made up her mind. "Thanks for the advice, Mon. You're the best sister-in-law ever."
"I know!" Monica giggled. "Good night and good luck with everything."
"Good night."
Rachel hung up the phone and exhaled a loud sigh. Just like a cue, the door of their master bedroom opened and Ross entered the room.
"Hey, honey." Rachel smiled weakly. "We need to talk."
"Okay." Ross said slowly, trying to process everything she had just confessed to him.
The couple were sitting at the chairs out in the balcony that connected to their room. Rachel had told her husband the entire truth about what she had done tonight and Ross just sat there pensively as his mind slowly digested her words.
"Let me get this straight" He continued. "You read my Facebook notification and then you saw that Emily sent me a friend request. Out of 'curiosity', you opened her profile and basically spy on her. Then I came in, you freaked out, and accidentally rejected her friend request?"
He didn't sound mad, he didn't even sound upset.
He just sounded… confused.
"Yes" Rachel nodded, her cheeks warmed. "That basically summed up everything."
"Hmmm…" Ross hummed, his brows creased with confusion. "I honestly don't know how to respond to this…"
Rachel bit her lips. "Are you mad? I swear I didn't mean to spy on you or anyone else for that matter. It's just that I saw her name and suddenly my rational thoughts went out the window."
Ross looked at her, really looked at her, and then he saw it.
His wife was a confident and successful career woman. She had high self-esteem even back when they were still kids. But sometimes - on a very rare occasion, her insecurity came out just like tonight and it didn't go unnoticed by him.
"We never talked about her, huh?" Ross asked, suddenly realizing that even after five year together, the topic of London never actually came out.
They danced around it a few times, especially when they chose their honeymoon's destination, but they never really talked about it.
Tonight was the night.
It seemed like they couldn't put it off any longer.
"We never…" Rachel murmured, suddenly looking away from him as tears started to form in the corner of her eyes.
London did things to her that still baffled her sometimes.
She didn't know how much that day had hurt her and it turned out the scar never really faded. It was still there even after all those years. And now, it was like they were trying to open the wound again and although she knew the talk was inevitable, it didn't mean she was ready to talk about it.
It still hurt.
A lot.
"Hey… Look at me…"
Ross placed his palm across her cheeks, lifting her head up so that he could see her face. His heart shattered in pieces as he saw the tears in her blue eyes.
"Oh, sweetie. Please don't cry…" He murmured, moving his thumbs to brush her fallen tears away. "I know it's a hard topic to talk about, but please remember… I love you, you're the love of my life and you always are. Just try to remember it, okay?"
"O-okay." She nodded and sniffled.
"I honestly don't know how to talk about this or even where to start. I just know that I hate it so much that I hurt you, maybe that's why I never wanted to bring her up to you" Ross began softly. "1998 is officially the worst year of my life. I hurt so many people that year, including myself."
Rachel reached out to grab his hand, giving him a light squeeze which he quickly reciprocated with a thankful smile.
"I was in no shape to engage in a serious relationship, let alone marry someone. Looking back, I think I just asked her to marry me because I didn't want to lose her like the way I lost you. Losing you was the hardest thing I've ever experienced and at that moment, I couldn't bear the thought of losing another woman. I know she isn't you. She didn't hold a candle to you. You're special, Rach. You came into my heart, resided, and never left. You're my first love and my last. You're the love of my life, no one could've ever replaced you. But at that point in my life, I couldn't see it" Ross ran his finger through his hair, feeling frustrated with his past-self. "I was so busy trying to find a way to make her stay that I completely ignored my rational thought. I mean, what was I thinking? Why did I ask her to marry me when I'm still in love with you?"
"Y-you… Y-you're still in love with me?" Rachel gasped, her voice wavered as her suspicion turned out wrong.
All along, she always thought that he truly loved Emily. She made peace with it, because honestly? That day when she saw him at the church, he looked sincerely happy and she couldn't take that happiness away from him.
After all, that was what you do for the person who you truly loved, right?
You let them go, let them be happy – even if it tore you apart on the inside.
"Of course, I do" Ross smiled, wiping her tears away. "It's always you, Rach. You're my end and my beginning. Always remember that, alright?"
She wiped her tears away, smiling slightly as she nodded.
"I shouldn't have asked her to marry me. Heck, I probably shouldn't have been in a relationship. I wasn't ready for any of it. And for that I have to pay the price. I've never meant to hurt anyone, but I did. I hurt her, I hurt her family and mine, I put our friends in uncomfortable situations – especially when I was homeless, and more importantly… I hurt you" He looked at her eyes and this time it was his that had tears in them. His voice cracked when he spoke again, "I hurt you when I asked her to marry me and then I hurt you again when I chose her instead of you."
"Y-you didn't though" Rachel interrupted him, not wanting Ross to feel bad about it. Like they had said back when they got back together, they forgive each other. She forgave him. "In the end, you didn't choose her over me. You picked me."
"I know, but I should've done it the first time. I shouldn't have hurt you more than I already did. I caused you so much pain by choosing her over our friendship and please don't try to deny it, I could look it in your eyes."
"You did." Rachel murmured, not even trying to deny it.
She didn't want to lie to him.
The pain of him choosing Emily over her was so unbearable, she didn't know which one was more painful… the fact that he had asked Emily to marry him in just short six weeks or that he chose not to ever see her again per Emily's request.
"I know and I can't tell you how sorry I am for that. I'll make up for what I've done in the past for the rest of my life." He looked down, feeling ashamed of himself.
"Hey…" This time it was her who lifted his chin up so that she could see his face. "You have nothing to owe me for. Even though we never talked about her, it didn't mean that I didn't forgive you. I forgave you and I meant it when I've put everything behind us."
"-but it still bothers you" Ross murmured. "She still bothers you."
"She does" Rachel admitted. "-and not because I didn't trust you. I do trust you. It's just… seeing her name today, opened a can of worms. I never thought I'd hear about her ever again, but suddenly she popped up on the screen and all the feelings came back. I've always envied her, do you know that?"
"No" Ross answered truthfully. "Why did you envy her? She's nothing compared to you."
"Well, I don't know that. I didn't know that" She quickly corrected herself. "All she was to me was this woman who you asked to marry in just six short weeks. Meanwhile you and I, we dated for the whole year and we hadn't even brought up the topic of moving in together."
Ross sat there, looking at her in shock after hearing her confession. He had never seen it that way before. Was that how she thought about them all along? That she meant less to him than Emily did?
"Do you know that during the first year after I got off the plane and we got back together, I kept waiting for you to propose? Do you know how relieved I was when you got down on your knee on our one-year anniversary?"
These things she revealed to him baffled him more than ever.
He never knew she felt that way.
"God, I have no idea. Was that how you felt the entire time? Do you still feel that way now?" Ross swallowed as he asked the very question he was dreading.
"No, not anymore" Rachel answered honestly. "After that night we got engaged and we spent the night celebrating in The Plaza, I looked at you sleeping beside me and I vowed to myself not to let the past dictate my present, our future. Instead of wondering and dwelling in the past, I chose to trust you, to trust us. I might've never understood why throughout the whole year we're together when we first dated that you never proposed to me, but I do know that you loved me and that's enough. I didn't need to know the reason why, I stopped questioning it."
"I want you to know. No, I need you to know."
Rachel sighed. "No, honey. You don't owe me any explanations."
"I do" Ross insisted. "The reason why I've never asked you to marry me the first time we dated was because I knew you weren't ready and probably neither was I. I just got out of a marriage and you just walked out from your wedding. We both were in a place where we're in no shape to get married and build a family. So as much as I wanted to marry you, and god, I swear there's no days went by I didn't think about marrying you especially as we neared our first anniversary. I wanted to marry you desperately, but I waited."
"You wanted to marry me" Rachel said and slowly a smile took form on her lips as her fear turned out to be untrue.
He did want to marry her.
"I still do" Ross smirked. "I'll marry you again and again. Marrying you is the best thing that ever happened to me, well... except for the kids, of course."
"Of course." She giggled, leaning in to kiss his lips.
"Are we okay?" He asked after a while as he lifted her and moved her to sit on his lap.
"We are" She confirmed with a smile. "Hey, listen… I'm really sorry for what I've done and if you want to be friends with her on Facebook, I'm totally okay with it - not that you actually need my permission to do just that."
Ross just smiled, already knowing his answer.
He didn't want to do anything that potentially caused nothing but trouble. He didn't want to hurt Rachel, even if she had said it herself that she was okay with it.
"No, I think I'm good" He squeezed her thighs and kissed her.
"Seriously?"
"Yeah" Ross shrugged. "-besides, what are we going to talk about anyway? With Emily and I, our marriage ended in a really bad term, Rach. Hell, I didn't even see my own wife for the short few months I was married to her. We brought so much heartache to each other. I think the letter I sent to her is my closure. I didn't see the reason why I needed to stay in touch with her."
Rachel frowned, "What letter?"
"I haven't told you, have I?" He asked and she nodded. "Well, remember sometime after I moved into the ugly guy apartment, Emily left a message for me?"
Rachel nodded again.
"I didn't call her, but I decided to write her a letter a few days after" Ross said. "I apologized to her for what I've done and that even though we had so much fun together, it never meant to be. I told her to be happy and I wished her the best. That's all."
"You got your closure."
"I did and I'd like to think she did too, because she did marry the guy in the end. Her cousin actually told me when I met him on the street by accident" Ross smiled. "-and that's why I don't need to stay in touch with her."
"Well, if you're sure…"
"I'm more than sure" He leaned in to kiss his wife.
They stayed in each other's embrace for a while until he noticed that she was about to fall asleep. With a little protest from her, he carried her inside, laying her down underneath the comforter and he climbed next to her, cuddling.
"G-good night" He heard her mumble. "I'm glad we talked tonight."
"Me too" Ross whispered, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "Now, sleep. Good night and I love you so much."
Keeping her eyes closed, Rachel smiled. "Love you too."
A/N
Hey, everyone! I know it's been a while since the last time I posted a one-shot and probably not many of you actually use 'Facebook' anymore, but it was one of the stories that had been sitting on my drafts for a while and I finally decided to finish it. I hope you all like it!
And oh, it's October and I can't believe it's been two years since I wrote my first ever Ross and Rachel's fanfiction, 'The New Beginning'. It has been an amazing two years. I get to learn a lot and actually make some great friends through this fandom. Writing has been a great help for me, especially during the pandemic and the lockdown. I'm not gonna lie, I've kept thinking of quitting writing recently, but receiving all the feedback from you all is keeping me going.
When I first started, I never thought someone is going to read my stories since not only that English isn't my first language, I honestly thought I'm bad at it lol And if you told 2020 version of me that in another two years I'd still be here, writing, I probably wouldn't believe it. So, thank you to each one of you who supported me through this awesome fandom and even though I'm still lacking in so many aspects, I hope I'll still be here next year.
