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Forget-Them-Not
By Gracie Kay
Part Four, a.k.a. The End
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Chakotay looked down at the panel between the two seats on the bridge. It was unsettling, taking the captain's chair when the one he considered the real captain of Voyager was still here on board. He had always tried to prepare himself for a day like this--but in his mind, it had never transpired in quite this way. In this strange, unforeseeable twist of events, Kathryn hadn't been killed. She hadn't even been seriously injured, requiring rehabilitation. Instead, she simply didn't know who he was. Who anyone was.
It should have been a relief.
He had glanced at the panel by way of habit, but now he gave it a closer look. This was the night shift. Why would the holodeck be running? Had someone left it active? "Bridge to Crewman Floyd," he said.
"Floyd here, sir," came the crisp voice over the comm.
"Would you check out the active holodeck for me? I have a feeling Ensign Paris left it running."
He heard the smile in her voice. "On my way, sir."
But her voice came back over the comm within a few minutes. "Floyd to Commander Chakotay."
"Chakotay here, what is it?"
"Sir, I think you'd better come down here. The holodeck doors have been sealed, and it's asking for level eight clearance before I can open them."
Kathryn! At her own request, he had given her all the security codes she had forgotten, even the codes that only he and Tuvok had knowledge of--the ones he couldn't use unless something not only happened to the captain, but killed her. Level nine. But she had used level eight to seal the doors, a code that he did know and was completely authorized, even in non-emergency situations, to use. What was she doing?
"You're not always a reasonable woman." His own voice flashed back to him from the past, and he was already on his feet as he said, "I'm on my way, Crewman. Stand by."
"Commander?"
Chakotay looked up into the dark eyes of the operations officer on duty, and he was suddenly glad that he was sharing the night shift with another senior officer. "You have the bridge, Ensign Kim."
Kim brightened considerably. "Yes, sir!"
Then Chakotay was on his way to the holodeck.
When he reached the doors, Crewman Floyd was waiting. "Sir? What's going on?"
"I don't know, but we're going to find out." He spoke to the computer. "Computer, open the doors."
"Level eight security clearance required."
He gave the computer his code, and the doors opened. Chakotay stared at the huge simulation that was running. For a minute, he forgot to use Floyd's title. "Stay here, Jacqueline."
"Should we freeze the program, sir?"
"No." The word was a snapping whip, and she stiffened reflexively. "If it is the captain in there"--as if it could possibly be anyone else, he thought wryly-- "I want to talk to her. I'd rather she didn't know I was coming to interrupt."
The look Floyd gave him was discerning, and he decided she knew exactly what he meant. "Understood, sir."
He nodded, then entered the simulation, and the doors closed behind him.
He searched for her everywhere, carefully because he had the feeling that this was the infamous Tom Paris program with altered safeties. But he couldn't find her anywhere . . . and then, suddenly, he did.
"Computer, freeze program!"
Then he was running toward her fallen form, calling her name. When he reached her side, he fell to his knees and pulled her toward him, startled at the amount of blood on the side of her face. What had she done to herself? Was this the only way she thought she could deal with the pain of uncertainty . . . a suicide mission?
"Kathryn." He realized there were tears in his eyes as he felt her neck for a pulse. It was there, but it was weak. "Kathryn, can you hear me?"
He hit his comm badge blindly, eyes fixed on her still face. "Chakotay to sickbay."
"The Doctor here. Is there a problem, Commander?"
"Doctor, I'm beaming the captain directly to sickbay. I'll be there as soon as I can. Be ready."
For once, the EMH didn't ask twenty questions. "Understood."
Chakotay didn't bother to sign off as he eased her from his arms and stood to his feet. It wasn't easy, stepping back and leaving her lying on the deck. "Emergency medical transport; lock onto Captain Janeway's signal and transport now." She had never looked so small and fragile as she dematerialized in a shimmer of blue. Chakotay leaped to his feet.
When he reached the exit, Crewman Floyd was still there.
"Sir?"
"No time to explain, I'll be in sickbay."
"Yes, sir."
He had already left her behind.
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The sickbay doors almost didn't open for him quickly enough. As it was, he got through them rather sideways and hurried to the bio-bed where the Doctor was working.
"Severe concussion, Commander," came the all-too-brisk voice of the hologram. "I'm repairing the damage now, as well as the laceration to the side of her face. Just how did this happen?"
At Chakotay's brief explanation, the Doctor scowled his disapproval. "Physically, she'll be good as new. But after this absurd stunt, I'm worried that her state of mind has been unstable since her first holodeck injury. I have no idea how this new one will affect her."
After several more intense minutes, the Doctor sighed and stepped back. "Well, that's that. Physical injury has been healed, but we won't know about the mental injury until we awaken her."
Chakotay frowned. "Can . . . can you awaken her now? Safely?"
The Doctor sighed, irritated as usual when someone asked him what he deemed an absurd question. "Certainly, Commander. One moment, please." He returned with a hypo-spray and pressed it to the captain's neck. Chakotay felt his body stiffen as he waited.
He didn't have to wait long. Within a few seconds, her eyes opened. She looked confused for a moment; then her eyes met his, and somehow he knew that something was different.
"Chakotay." There was no uncertainty in the voice; there were no painful questions in her eyes. Did he dare hope . . .
"What happened to me?" She was already trying to sit up, but the Doctor restrained her gently.
"Careful, Captain, I believe you should rest a few moments. If I may ask, just what were you thinking?"
She frowned at him, clearly confused. "What's this about? Doctor, what happened?"
Chakotay chose his words carefully. "Captain . . . do you know me?"
"Of course I do, Chakotay. Would you care to explain what's going on?"
Suddenly, something seemed to connect in the Doctor's holographic brain. "Ah-ha, we may have our answer," he said triumphantly. "Captain, what's the last thing you remember?"
She paused to think about it. "Well, I was on the holodeck . . . on that new program of Tom's . . . He called for me to look out, but that's all I can remember."
"And you don't remember waking up in sickbay not knowing anyone? Not remembering Voyager or anyone on board?"
Her face was answer enough. "Not at all."
The Doctor cleared his throat. "All right. What ship is this, Captain?"
"What?"
"Just answer the questions, please."
"U.S.S. Voyager, Starfleet registration number 74656."
"Good. And you are--"
She sighed, starting to catch on. "Captain Kathryn Janeway."
"Very good. Your first officer is--"
"Chakotay. My chief engineer is B'Elanna Torres, my operations officer is Harry Kim, my security chief is Tuvok--would you like to hear his Starfleet service number as well?"
The Doctor smiled. "That's quite all right. Well, then, I hereby present you with a clean bill of health--although I expect you to rest for the next few days, of course." He glowered at her with that superior, CMO-making-ready-to-lecture-the-captain-on-taking-care-of-herself glare, but then, remarkably, his expression softened. "Welcome back, Captain."
She frowned back, still bewildered, then turned to Chakotay. "I hope you know I expect a complete explanation, Commander."
He smiled at her playful use of his rank, at the mock seriousness of her voice. Kathryn was back. "I look forward to it."
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Janeway got her explanation over two cups of coffee in the ready room the next morning. Chakotay told her the entire story in the most objective language, but she knew he wanted to say more.
And finally, she asked him. "Chakotay . . . you've told me the facts, but I think there's more to this than just medical data. What's on your mind?"
He seemed relieved that she was asking, but he still hesitated. "It was difficult for the entire crew, I suppose. I think a lot of them had started to take you for granted." He sighed, then, and opened up fully. "It wasn't easy for me, either. I hadn't realized how I take you for granted, and . . ."
She didn't fill his silence. Chakotay was a man of few words, and when he began to speak his mind, the one privileged enough to hear it had best just listen. But now he was struggling with what to say, how to say it.
"I worried about you. You had to deal with so much, so fast, and you were so different, that I was afraid what the whole ordeal would do to you. Emotionally. Of course, if it had been hard on you, you wouldn't have told me—you didn't know me or even trust me, really. I just . . . I worried about you.
"You're not just my captain. You're my friend. And I guess . . ." Then he smiled as though finding an inner resolution. "I guess in a roundabout way, I'm just telling you . . . I missed you."
Before she could answer, he was speaking again. "I brought you--this." From inside his Starfleet jacket, he brought out a small blue flower. Janeway smiled with recognition.
"A forget-me-not. Chakotay." She took it and fingered the petals gently. "It's lovely." She smiled to herself first, then at him. "It's good to be back."
"Kathryn . . . it's good to have you back."
Janeway felt a tear in her eye, but she blinked quickly. Carefully, she brought the flower close to her face and inhaled its sweet scent.
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(Th-th-that's all, folks! Well? . . . Feedback greatly . . . aw, forget it. You already know.)
(It's that box right down below that says "Be a responsible reader and…" But I'm not gonna say it, 'cause you already know.)
(It's the whole reason we post fanfic, just so we can get a … Oh, never mind. You already know.)
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