Another chapter? What? No way!? To be clear something real bad happens in this chapter and upcoming chapters. Trigger warning I guess, I don't really know what to say but it's Doki Doki so just remember I warned you.

MC stood outside Sayori's house, waiting for her. Thoughts and plans bounced around but he couldn't focus.

"~Chris~ Oh you waited for me!" It was early morning but she was chipper, happy to see him. Never on time, no the world wasn't forgiving about her problems after all.

He looked towards her, smiling. Images, pictures of the past threatened to assault his mind but he blocked them out, focusing only on Sayori and how she was still breathing. He couldn't remember right now, he wouldn't let himself.

"Of course I waited for you, couldn't walk without you yah know?" He shakes off the urge to cry, savoring the early parts of the sim.

Everytime it restarted the beginning would be relatively the same. While it gets boring after a while, the act of seeing Sayori alive didn't. God how many times has it been now? Loops slipped through his mind, falling through the cracks.

"Oh, when did you become so nice? Are you really Chris?" Her teasing brings a moment of clarity, his mind at ease.

"Ha ha, never heard that one before. You know next time I might just walk alone… As if, come here." He opens his arms for a hug, but she hesitates for a moment.

"Oh wow you really must have hit your head or something." Her voice, once loud, was now quiet. For a split second he saw a darkness that only she was familiar with. The rain clouds that wouldn't go away.

After all this time one would think that he would have perfected this already. But instead of the same old schtick he would try something new almost every time. At least that's what he thought, he couldn't remember every loop after all. This looked like a failure, well until she jumped on him.

"~You know~ if you were this nice all the time you would have a girlfriend already! And tons of friends!" Her hug was tight, her voice bouncing in his ear.

He savored the feeling of contact, somehow Monika made him real enough to understand affection and to have a sense of touch. Or rather through his trials he understood them. Even so he wasn't blind to Sayori's affection even if she herself was at the moment.

If he had one thing to thank Monika for it was this, being childhood friends with Sayori. Even if he couldn't remember the manufactured memories he still considered Sayori his best friend. Now if only their dynamic was different.

"Oh are you insinuating something?" She let go of him, bouncing away towards the school.

"Insinu-whating?" Classic Sayori, ah it was enough to make him laugh.

Following behind her, chuckling to himself, they made their way to school.


After the same song and dance of clubs he told her that he would join the literature club.

"HUH!? Just like that? I even made Natsuki make cupcakes…" Her voice tapered off whispering something about cupcakes.

He knew he was changing the script but instantly joining the club when given the chance was the right move. He noticed that whenever he went with the flow of the game Monika would start to make her own route.

It wasn't foolproof but joining the club right away was always the right choice. Little changes here and there made all the difference.

"I just thought that spending more time with you would be great, anime and manga can wait." He waves off those silly hobbies, they were interesting for sure, but these girls were the world. His mission. His own reason to keep going.

"Someone must have replaced you or something… You haven't even called me a dummy yet." Sayori, as always, caught on to his change quickly.

The way Monika made their relationship with each other made him sick after a while. At first he didn't understand, but over time he came to hate that dynamic. Sayori deserved the world, she was the best friend anyone could have and too many times have people taken advantage of that. The character that Monika created, he distanced himself from that but all too well did he know his flaws.

"I thought long and hard about it… And I realized that I was the dummy. Let's just say I'm turning over a new leaf and leave it at that." It was a horrible way to explain his behavior but she bought it.

He didn't really ever know what to say to her. So many bad ends flowed through his mind, reminding him why he didn't know what to do. Funny, knowing so much about a person but not knowing what to say.

"I approve! Now we can be together every day!" Unaware how that sounded she twirls around happily.

A wave of sadness washes over him but he pushes it back, waiting until he is alone. Like harsh waves on a rocky shore, they threaten to engulf him.

"I'll see you after class Sayori, remember to show me where the club is!" His mask impeccable, she notices nothing wrong.

"Oh this is gonna be so fun! See you later!" She waves to me while leaving the room.

To the others, well besides Monika, the school looks full of life. Students everywhere, teachers in classrooms, and other clubs practicing. To him however, it looked like a graveyard. Not another soul in sight. He could see silhouettes but nothing clear. It was as if they were ghosts trying to fit in.

He sat, waiting for a minute before the sim changed. Time here was odd at some points in the sim. Some scenes weren't needed so they skipped over them. While everyone else felt like it was a long day of teaching and learning he knew it was only a moment in time.

Sometimes he wished it would be longer, but now anxiety threatened to consume him. He could be doing so much more besides waiting. And so when the text box in front of him said it had been a long day of school he almost bolted out of the classroom.

Being alone, some might enjoy it. At first he thought Yuri liked it, only to figure out that out of everyone here she probably hated it the most. He used to like being alone, to capture his thoughts, to set things straight. Then he realized how much time it really did give him to think. Plans that he would have thought up would turn to dust, horrors sweeping them away.

Failures, mistakes, hatred, trauma, and most of all fear would consume him. And so he made his way outside the classroom, trying to outrun the impossible.

"Wow you must be excited, I didn't expect you to actually wait for me ehehe…" Sayori, her voice bounded down the walls.

The silhouettes pretending to be people scattered, the school day being officially done. Oh how odd it was to get there and immediately be done with classes. Well at least he thought it was odd, knowledge of the real world was scarce and his caretakers would rarely indulge him.

"Oh? And how else would I get to the clubroom?" Knowing exactly where it was aside.

"I kinda… maybe… thought that you would ditch me you know? I know that you didn't really want to join a club for a long time so…" She was still her normal peppy self but he knew that his past with her would continue to get into the way.

"New leaf, remember? No more leaving you in the dirt, we are gonna spend a ton of time together!" Smiling a true smile he felt a twinge of anger directed towards his creator.

He didn't hate Monika, no, but he did hate the situations she put him in. Deep down he knew it wasn't her fault, but sometimes visceral feelings of anger would bubble over. One could only be pushed so many times…

"Sorry I was just being dumb, anyway lets go!" Seeing her so full of life was bittersweet but nonetheless what he wanted.

Closely following behind her she led him towards the club room. Empty hallways passed by, the silhouettes all but gone from the building.

So this is it again, the day I sold my soul for a cupcake eh?

Sayori happily opened the door to the clubroom for him, beaming all the while. Sometimes it was like looking at the sun. He wouldn't trade that for the world.

MC glanced around the room, seeing that everyone was here as always. Nothing off script yet but it didn't hurt to be careful. Hell one time Monika started the game off without her being there and… actually he'd rather forget that. Nothing good came from that loop.

"Everyone! The new member is here~!" A line said so many times he nearly missed it.

Yuri looks up from her book, a light blush coating her face.

"Welcome to the Literature Club. It's a pleasure meeting you. Sayori always says nice things about you." Bashful as always, but always the first person to greet him in the club room.

Yuri, like all the girls, held a special place in his heart. Seeing her again, even if it was something he had done a millions times, brought a sense of relief.

A pleasure as always.

"Seriously? You bought a boy? Way to kill the atmosphere." Natsuki said, trying to hide behind a mask made of glass.

His ignorance had cost him many times. Not being informed on social norms, her circumstances never failed to confuse him. Learning over time and seeing it himself he fully understood the depths of her despair.

To call the father of Natsuki a monster would be insulting to monsters. Monika's interference created something more than just a cruel father.

MC was determined to save her first, she was the only one he actually believed he could save. He had been so close, so many times he had gotten near the end. Except the ever changing circumstances kept him from his goal. It was as if the world itself wasn't allowing her a happy ending.

It happened to all of them, but Natsuki had been right there. Right at the precipitous end of her arc.

If he was honest with himself, he didn't know how to deal with the other three. Sayori, her depression went deep. His understanding on the topic slowly developed, but he never knew what to say or what to do. And that, that hurt more than anything. How could he be so close yet so far off from helping her get her happy end?

Yuri, her over obsessive behavior stemmed from a lack of affection. Her knives, a way to escape for just a moment. An addiction? Obsession? He still needed a way to get her to focus on something productive and not destructive. It didn't help that everytime he tried to help any of the girls Monika would tweak them just a tiny bit.

Sometimes it went unnoticed. A little thing here and there. Making Sayori hurt all the time, Yuri hyper fixating on his kindness, or Natsuki being starved almost to the brink of death. Yeah, just 'little' things here and there.

Lastly, Monika, he didn't want to face her. Seeing your creator, the one who gave you life, not even looking at you but the person behind the screen. He saw it every time she looked at him. Now imagine how it feels when she changes everything so much that he can't even speak. She only ever sees the player, not him.

To top it all off, she is one of the reasons they are all trapped here. And to him he started as a blank canvas only to be distorted over time because of her machinations. He didn't know if he could face her. So many bad things locked in his mind surfaced under her gaze.

Natsuki seemed the easiest to him right now. He understood most of her problems and fixing them was a little less strenuous on the mind.

As he thought that something slithered to the front of his mind. A memory, something he wished was just a nightmare.


Natsuki Loop Number?

He stood in front of Natsuki's house. It was in a rather shabby state but nothing too bad.

It had been a day after the best date he had ever had. Baking together, reading together, and finally ending it off with cuddles and a movie. Never had he seen or even felt any of that before. It was new, fresh, and finally something good. He had finally gotten past the festival and now he would be able to get her the end she deserved.

The only thing that bummed him out was the walk to her house. He had missed the bus, being late by five minutes because his alarm didn't go off. He promised to walk her to school and so he made his way to her house.

Now standing outside he was plenty nervous. Fidgeting with his tie and blazer he sighed. Having to loop again after this would be hard, he just had the best time of his life with the cutest girl on the planet after all. Oh well, at least she finally got a piece of that happiness she was looking for.

Time dragged on… On and on.

It's been a few minutes already. If she doesn't come out soon then we are going to be late.

Knocking on the door, there was no answer. Shouting her name, no answer. And so he tried to call her. No answer.

Trying the door one more time he found it unlocked.

Odd, her dad would flip if he knew.

He called out, pardoning himself for the intrusion. No answer…

Looking around he noticed the living room was a mess. Couch cushions strewn about, beer bottles shattered on the hardwood floor, and clothes all over the place. Slowly stepping over some of the mess he made his way towards the stairs.

Fear gripped him then when he heard the start of a song. A rapid rhythm, the beat of a heart, the condescending tone of a piano.

Adrenaline surged, fear consuming him. He scrambled up the stairs, barely managing to make it up without tripping himself.

Sprinting down the hall towards her room, seeing the state of the hallway gave him no sense of comfort. As if the house was turned upside down, everything was a mess.

A blinding panic ran through him, urging him to go faster, to see Natsuki.

He stood outside her room, music thumping in his ears, heart bursting in his chest. Clammy hands reached out, grasping the doorknob.

I'm gonna open the door and she will be fine. She is gonna be asleep, oversleeping from the awesome day we had just yesterday. Heh, maybe she will be changing and she would slap him like that one time…

He felt like he was going to die if he didn't open the door. His entire being screaming at him to open it.

Sayori flashed through his mind, Yuri joining her. One hanging and another bleeding out. They stared at him, urging him to do just fucking do it already do it, DO IT.

They screamed at him for his failures, waiting for him to fail again.

He slammed the door open, not wasting another second.

The room was a mess much like the rest of the house. Clothes thrown about, manga torn to pieces, and the entire bed was upturned. Looking around he didn't see Natsuki, not until he looked behind the broken bed.

Unable to comprehend what he was seeing, his mind took everything in at once. A broken neck, black and blue, slivers, and a shattered beer bottle. In shock, unable to understand, he leaned over and grabbed her lifeless shoulders.

Shaking, he was shaking. His whole body vibrated as he tried to shake her awake. Tiny bits of wood stuck to his skin, piercing his palms. The pale tone of her skin, the way her neck stuck out, and the glass embedded in her head did nothing to stop him.

She… she had to wake up. It… This was supposed to be her happy ending, she was going to be happy and then he would finally be able to live with himself.

"Nat, Nat please. Nat PLEASE! PLEASE NAT!" Screaming, ah he was screaming. Voice shrill, tearing as he tried to wake her up.

Tears formed rivers down his cheeks, falling onto another one of his failures. She didn't wake, nor move after he was done shaking her.

Unable to do anything but cry, he sat next to her. Her lifeless eyes bore into the ceiling, dry crusty tears with nowhere to go. All he could do was stare. His mind was reeling, frying under the impossibility that stared him right in the face.

Ah he couldn't…


Snapping back into the present he felt a need to vomit. Or something close to vomiting. A cold sweat overtook him as Monika finished her introduction. Ah he couldn't… Was he really going to lose it right in front of them?

"Are you okay Chris? You look pale." Sayori asked, bless her.

"Oh, I-I'm fine." He stuttered out…

Fuck I stuttered.

Sayori put her hand to his forehead, trying to feel for a fever.

"Hm… It's probably just meeting new people and all! I know I was nervous seeing everyone for the first time."

Was she trying to cover for him? She didn't seem to believe his poor excuse earlier.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw something daunting. Monika was frowning while looking at their brief contact. Then slowly, as if the entire world was in slow motion, she smiled.

The script, he was off script for just a second and she caught it? Or was she noticing Sayori's brief action of affection towards him?

Will she act on it? What is she going to do? Is this loop already done? Have I already failed?

Fear caresses him like an old lover, gripping his heart and never letting go. Barely into the first Act and he already felt like he screwed up.

And calling Natsuki's problems easy? How idiotic could he get, he deserved to be punished… To be tortured by his own failures.

Glancing towards Natsuki he felt the urge to cry.

"What are you… Why are you looking at me like that?' Her tone of voice shifts, once faking anger now more surprised.

She seemed put off by his unnatural gaze, so he turned away a little. He tried to hide his eyes, averting them from her form.

"Nothing, I'm sorry. Meeting new people isn't my forte." He tries to brush off his earlier meltdown.

"Hmph, well if you got something to say then say it." Ah, back to her old self. His heart soothes knowing that not all is completely ruined.

"Sorry sorry. I just thought that Sayori was right about you." Cheekily grinning, he diverts the attention to Sayori.

"Oh so you agree that she is just the cutest! Everything she does is just so cute!" Unknowingly MC makes another mistake.

Sayori hadn't said anything about Natsuki being cute until after he put all the attention on her. Monika taps her pen on her leg, looking directly at him. Well not him, never him. She stares at the player, hoping something will come from it.

This club was going to be the death of him.

I'm trying not to fumble with this but man writing is hard. Now excuse me while I try to will mutiple poems into existence.