"So it's just been hell for the past few month." Carol sighed, wiping the mascara from under her eyes. "Fighting, never seeing each other, him going 'out' to who knows where."
"You poor thing." Susan gave her a tight one-armed hug. "I'm sorry."
"All the times Doug said he never wanted to be like his bastard of a father. And now this."
"Was it really all his fault, Carol?" Susan asked quietly and sensibly. Carol hung her head.
"Both of ours." She replied. "It's like the song, you know? You've lost that lovin' feelin'."
"Whoa, that lovin' feelin'." Susan chimed in.
"You've lost that lovin' feelin', now it's gone, gone, gone, whoa, whoa," The finished together and Carol couldn't help but smile, something she hadn't really done in a long time.
"Don't worry, Carol, it'll all work out in the end." Susan said brightly.
"I hope so." She sighed. "I hope so."
*****
"So Joe and Chloe will be here in about forty-five, the burgers are on the grill, and your girls are outside watching Charlie cook." Susan said, rushing about the kitchen.
"Whoa, Susan, you need to calm down and take a break." Carol said tranquilly.
"Break?" Susan repeated, slumping into a chair. "Oh, no...shit."
"What?" Carol asked. "What is it?"
"The day after tomorrow, I have to fly to Chicago for a conference." She explained. "I have to pack and call up there to confirm my hotel reservations."
"You're going to Chicago?" Carol said, toying with her fingernails.
"Yeah, they decided to send the pregnant woman." She stood and stirred something in a pot. "Why?"
"Susan, I don't mean to sound forward, but...." Carol looked up at her. "Do you think the girls and I could come with you?"
"Sure, why not?" Susan smiled. "I can book an extra room, there's always a few emergency ones left over." Carol embraced the woman tightly.
"Thanks."
"Carol, if you don't mind me asking...why?" Carol paused, thinking.
"I just need to get away, you know?" A sudden peal of electronic bells playing La Cucaracha broke their conversation.
"What's that?" Susan asked.
"My cell." Carol reached into her purse and pulled out a yellow cell phone. "Oh, look." She said sarcastically. "Doug's sobered up and decided to track me down. Sorry, hon, that's gonna be tough." She dropped her phone into the soapy-water filled sink, where it sparked a little before giving a weak fizzle and dying. Tess and Kate suddenly came running inside, their faces and hands incredibly dirty.
"Mama, can we have a drink?" Kate asked.
"Not until you clean up." Carol said. "Susan, where's the bathroom?"
"Down the hall, first door on your left." She pointed. Carol led them to the mauve-coloured WC and helped them to wash their hands and faces. Wiping their cheeks with a towel, she saw how much they reminded her of Doug. Every time he had been off at a conference or working late, she had stayed strong, taking care of her babies, using them as her lifeline.
"*Now* can we get a drink, Mama?" Tess asked, exasperated.
"Go asked Susan." Carol smacked their backsides playfully as they scurried back to the kitchen.
"Susan, may we-" Kate began.
"Have a drink?" Susan finished, pressing two glasses of lemonade into their hands. "Here."
"Thank you, Susan." They chorused, as they oftentimes did.
"Sit at the table, girls." Carol said matronly.
"Ok, Mama." They replied obediently.
"Mama, why is your phone in the sink?" Kate asked.
"Because Mama got a bad connection." Carol replied.
"Like those sale-people?" Tess offered.
"Yes, just like those sale people."
"Susan?" Tess asked.
"Yes?" Susan said.
"Why are you so fat?"
"Tess!" Carol cried. Susan merely laughed.
"What's so funny?" Tess asked innocently.
"Honey, Susan isn't fat, she's pregnant. There's a baby growing inside of her."
"Oh." Tess sighed. "Mama, why didn't you ever have a baby?" She looked down at the floor for a moment, then raised her eyes slowly, giving Carol the classic sad puppy dog look. She knew that look too well...it was Doug's look. Susan noticed too, her jaw dropping as she stared intently at the child.
"I...I had babies, honey." Carol knelt next to her daughter, stroking her cheek. "I had you and Kate."
"WE were *babies*?" Kate said, raising her eyebrows incredulously.
"Of course, sweetie. Everyone was a baby once. You were just too little to remember." Carol said.
"Oh," Kate said, finding the logical answer simple.
"You and Tess go play with your toys, alright, Katie-kin?"
"Alright, Mama." Kate and Tess toddled off to the living room, leaving Susan and Carol both thinking about a certain pediatrician.
*****
"And so Danny points at the screen and says, 'Mama, I want that! A Gay Boy!'" Chloe said later that night, gesturing with her hands. Susan tilted her head back and laughed hard, but Carol only smiled feebly. She found it hard to laugh about anything when herself and her children's lives were in jeopardy.
"Are you finished with your pie, Chloe?" Charlie asked.
"Yeah, thanks." She handed him her plate, along with Joe's. Charlie took Susan's and Carol's and brought them to the sink. Later that evening, Carol, Susan, and Chloe sat outside on the porch, enjoying the crisp autumn air.
"So how are you, Chloe?" Carol asked, sipping some peppermint-flavoured hot chocolate Susan had given her.
"Fine, just great." She smiled. "Danny just turned three and he got a new trike. Blue, just like he asked, thanks to his favourite Aunt Susan." Chloe playfully poked Susan in her side.
"Suzie's getting so big," Carol said in awe, glancing in the nearby window where Suzie and Danny played with her girls.
"She looks just like her namesake." Chloe grinned at her sister.
"That she does." Carol smiled.
"And how are you, Carol?" Chloe said with a look of pure concern. "You sounded...unhappy on the phone." Carol sighed. She had already told the story with tears flowing down her cheeks, she could do it without them this time.
"You remember Doug?" She asked, and Chloe nodded. "Well, he and I got married a while back. And he had always been a big..."
"Pimp?" Chloe supplied. Carol laughed.
"I guess you could call him that." She took a breath. "He didn't see anything wrong in sleeping with someone he had just met."
"Like most men." Susan said dejectedly.
"So he'd been spending a lot of his time away, saying it was work, but I don't know, there were times when he wasn't very faithful. He'd be gone all day and I'd stay with the girls, him coming home at eleven, and then twelve, and then not bothering to call at all. We fought so much, it didn't seem worth it. The fights got shorter, and shorter, until we'd argue for five minutes before he'd go off. And then the last time was the other night. I gathered my pride and left." She finished courageously.
"Wow," Chloe raised her eyebrows.
"But I think I did the right thing." She added. "I don't want my girls growing up in an angry household."
"Well, if you think you did the right thing, then I'm sure you did." Chloe patted her knee affectionately. "What are you planning on doing?"
"I don't really know," Carol said quietly. "Susan is being nice enough to let me come with her to Chicago, and then maybe I'll look up my mother and get a job there."
"Sounds like a plan." Susan smiled. She stood. "I'm getting cold, you coming inside?"
"Yeah," Chloe replied. "Joe and I have to be getting home."
"And the girls should be getting to bed." Carol said, following them in, but not before removing her diamond ring, the one Doug had given her. They walked inside and stood outside the guest room where the four children were playing.
"This is the mom and this is the dad." They heard Suzie say, playing with a Barbie and a Ken.
"They're very pretty." Tess said, stroking the female's hair.
"Aunt Susan got them for me." Suzie grinned smugly. "Mom says she spoils me." She proceeded to make them kiss.
"What are they doing?" Kate asked.
"They're kissing. That's what mommies and daddies do." She explained.
"Nu-uh," Kate objected. "My mommy and daddy don't."
"Then what do they do?"
"They scream at each other. A lot." Carol's hand flew to her mouth.
"Suzie, Danny, it's time for us to go home," Chloe said, trying to usher them out the door without embarrassing Carol further.
"I'm sorry," she apologized. "Kate doesn't know what she's saying."
"I understand." Chloe smiled sympathetically. Carol hugged Suzie and Danny goodbye before going to soak in a hot bath. She lay in the warm water, thinking over the past, twisting and turning her wedding ring in her fingers. What was it that Doug had said?
"I know you weren't crazy about the ring idea, but..." He had slipped the ring on her finger. "It's a symbol of us. A circle. Never ending."
She leaned her head back and sighed.
*Guess you were wrong, Doug.*
"You poor thing." Susan gave her a tight one-armed hug. "I'm sorry."
"All the times Doug said he never wanted to be like his bastard of a father. And now this."
"Was it really all his fault, Carol?" Susan asked quietly and sensibly. Carol hung her head.
"Both of ours." She replied. "It's like the song, you know? You've lost that lovin' feelin'."
"Whoa, that lovin' feelin'." Susan chimed in.
"You've lost that lovin' feelin', now it's gone, gone, gone, whoa, whoa," The finished together and Carol couldn't help but smile, something she hadn't really done in a long time.
"Don't worry, Carol, it'll all work out in the end." Susan said brightly.
"I hope so." She sighed. "I hope so."
*****
"So Joe and Chloe will be here in about forty-five, the burgers are on the grill, and your girls are outside watching Charlie cook." Susan said, rushing about the kitchen.
"Whoa, Susan, you need to calm down and take a break." Carol said tranquilly.
"Break?" Susan repeated, slumping into a chair. "Oh, no...shit."
"What?" Carol asked. "What is it?"
"The day after tomorrow, I have to fly to Chicago for a conference." She explained. "I have to pack and call up there to confirm my hotel reservations."
"You're going to Chicago?" Carol said, toying with her fingernails.
"Yeah, they decided to send the pregnant woman." She stood and stirred something in a pot. "Why?"
"Susan, I don't mean to sound forward, but...." Carol looked up at her. "Do you think the girls and I could come with you?"
"Sure, why not?" Susan smiled. "I can book an extra room, there's always a few emergency ones left over." Carol embraced the woman tightly.
"Thanks."
"Carol, if you don't mind me asking...why?" Carol paused, thinking.
"I just need to get away, you know?" A sudden peal of electronic bells playing La Cucaracha broke their conversation.
"What's that?" Susan asked.
"My cell." Carol reached into her purse and pulled out a yellow cell phone. "Oh, look." She said sarcastically. "Doug's sobered up and decided to track me down. Sorry, hon, that's gonna be tough." She dropped her phone into the soapy-water filled sink, where it sparked a little before giving a weak fizzle and dying. Tess and Kate suddenly came running inside, their faces and hands incredibly dirty.
"Mama, can we have a drink?" Kate asked.
"Not until you clean up." Carol said. "Susan, where's the bathroom?"
"Down the hall, first door on your left." She pointed. Carol led them to the mauve-coloured WC and helped them to wash their hands and faces. Wiping their cheeks with a towel, she saw how much they reminded her of Doug. Every time he had been off at a conference or working late, she had stayed strong, taking care of her babies, using them as her lifeline.
"*Now* can we get a drink, Mama?" Tess asked, exasperated.
"Go asked Susan." Carol smacked their backsides playfully as they scurried back to the kitchen.
"Susan, may we-" Kate began.
"Have a drink?" Susan finished, pressing two glasses of lemonade into their hands. "Here."
"Thank you, Susan." They chorused, as they oftentimes did.
"Sit at the table, girls." Carol said matronly.
"Ok, Mama." They replied obediently.
"Mama, why is your phone in the sink?" Kate asked.
"Because Mama got a bad connection." Carol replied.
"Like those sale-people?" Tess offered.
"Yes, just like those sale people."
"Susan?" Tess asked.
"Yes?" Susan said.
"Why are you so fat?"
"Tess!" Carol cried. Susan merely laughed.
"What's so funny?" Tess asked innocently.
"Honey, Susan isn't fat, she's pregnant. There's a baby growing inside of her."
"Oh." Tess sighed. "Mama, why didn't you ever have a baby?" She looked down at the floor for a moment, then raised her eyes slowly, giving Carol the classic sad puppy dog look. She knew that look too well...it was Doug's look. Susan noticed too, her jaw dropping as she stared intently at the child.
"I...I had babies, honey." Carol knelt next to her daughter, stroking her cheek. "I had you and Kate."
"WE were *babies*?" Kate said, raising her eyebrows incredulously.
"Of course, sweetie. Everyone was a baby once. You were just too little to remember." Carol said.
"Oh," Kate said, finding the logical answer simple.
"You and Tess go play with your toys, alright, Katie-kin?"
"Alright, Mama." Kate and Tess toddled off to the living room, leaving Susan and Carol both thinking about a certain pediatrician.
*****
"And so Danny points at the screen and says, 'Mama, I want that! A Gay Boy!'" Chloe said later that night, gesturing with her hands. Susan tilted her head back and laughed hard, but Carol only smiled feebly. She found it hard to laugh about anything when herself and her children's lives were in jeopardy.
"Are you finished with your pie, Chloe?" Charlie asked.
"Yeah, thanks." She handed him her plate, along with Joe's. Charlie took Susan's and Carol's and brought them to the sink. Later that evening, Carol, Susan, and Chloe sat outside on the porch, enjoying the crisp autumn air.
"So how are you, Chloe?" Carol asked, sipping some peppermint-flavoured hot chocolate Susan had given her.
"Fine, just great." She smiled. "Danny just turned three and he got a new trike. Blue, just like he asked, thanks to his favourite Aunt Susan." Chloe playfully poked Susan in her side.
"Suzie's getting so big," Carol said in awe, glancing in the nearby window where Suzie and Danny played with her girls.
"She looks just like her namesake." Chloe grinned at her sister.
"That she does." Carol smiled.
"And how are you, Carol?" Chloe said with a look of pure concern. "You sounded...unhappy on the phone." Carol sighed. She had already told the story with tears flowing down her cheeks, she could do it without them this time.
"You remember Doug?" She asked, and Chloe nodded. "Well, he and I got married a while back. And he had always been a big..."
"Pimp?" Chloe supplied. Carol laughed.
"I guess you could call him that." She took a breath. "He didn't see anything wrong in sleeping with someone he had just met."
"Like most men." Susan said dejectedly.
"So he'd been spending a lot of his time away, saying it was work, but I don't know, there were times when he wasn't very faithful. He'd be gone all day and I'd stay with the girls, him coming home at eleven, and then twelve, and then not bothering to call at all. We fought so much, it didn't seem worth it. The fights got shorter, and shorter, until we'd argue for five minutes before he'd go off. And then the last time was the other night. I gathered my pride and left." She finished courageously.
"Wow," Chloe raised her eyebrows.
"But I think I did the right thing." She added. "I don't want my girls growing up in an angry household."
"Well, if you think you did the right thing, then I'm sure you did." Chloe patted her knee affectionately. "What are you planning on doing?"
"I don't really know," Carol said quietly. "Susan is being nice enough to let me come with her to Chicago, and then maybe I'll look up my mother and get a job there."
"Sounds like a plan." Susan smiled. She stood. "I'm getting cold, you coming inside?"
"Yeah," Chloe replied. "Joe and I have to be getting home."
"And the girls should be getting to bed." Carol said, following them in, but not before removing her diamond ring, the one Doug had given her. They walked inside and stood outside the guest room where the four children were playing.
"This is the mom and this is the dad." They heard Suzie say, playing with a Barbie and a Ken.
"They're very pretty." Tess said, stroking the female's hair.
"Aunt Susan got them for me." Suzie grinned smugly. "Mom says she spoils me." She proceeded to make them kiss.
"What are they doing?" Kate asked.
"They're kissing. That's what mommies and daddies do." She explained.
"Nu-uh," Kate objected. "My mommy and daddy don't."
"Then what do they do?"
"They scream at each other. A lot." Carol's hand flew to her mouth.
"Suzie, Danny, it's time for us to go home," Chloe said, trying to usher them out the door without embarrassing Carol further.
"I'm sorry," she apologized. "Kate doesn't know what she's saying."
"I understand." Chloe smiled sympathetically. Carol hugged Suzie and Danny goodbye before going to soak in a hot bath. She lay in the warm water, thinking over the past, twisting and turning her wedding ring in her fingers. What was it that Doug had said?
"I know you weren't crazy about the ring idea, but..." He had slipped the ring on her finger. "It's a symbol of us. A circle. Never ending."
She leaned her head back and sighed.
*Guess you were wrong, Doug.*
