Year 5

Year 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and co. I do not own the song 'Grade 9' (BNL does, of course). I do own myself though. Yep. I'm pretty sure of that. Hopefully.

A/N: Okies dokies peoples. This is my *makes dramatic gesture* so very brilliant parody to the song 'Grade 9' by BNL (Barenaked Ladies, THE BAND!!!! don't be sick like my friends *cough*)

The song is gonna be sung by the 5th year Gryffindor guys: Harry, Ron, Neville, Dean, and Seamus, for those of you who don't know what the heck I'm talking about. Choose whichever character you want to be the lead singer. Personally, I thought Ron was the best (*cough*no sh*t Sherlock*cough*), but whatever's your fancy…

Anyway, ON WITH DA SONG! Hey…that rhymed…kinda sorta…okay, it didn't rhyme at all…

***

Setting: A whole bunch of musical instruments are in the middle of the Gryffindor common room. Neville steps up and hits a key on the 'Stupid keyboard bass' (hey, it's on the CD thingamabobber that tells you the lyrics). Seamus's eyes glaze over when he sees the organ/piano. Dean grabs the double bass. Harry spins the drumsticks in his hands expertly. Ron slings the guitar over his shoulder. Harry looks at everybody, and gets an idea. He hits the drumsticks together and yells, "One! Two! Three! Four!" And the music starts…

Lead Singer (whoever you want): I got off the train and went to the feast. The house-elves made roast tofu instead of roast beast.

Dean: That Crabbe is huge!

Seamus: That Goyle is wailin'!

Lead Singer: Just so you know, I am not a vegetarian!

All of the Band: This is me in year five, baby, this is me in year five!

Funky Voice: This is me in year five!

All of the Band: This is me in year five, baby, this is me in year five!

Lead Singer: I got my book bag and all of my school books. They think I'm weird 'cause I scare all the school spooks. I went out for the Quidditch team to prove that I'm a man. I guess I shouldn't tell em' that I'm in a wizard band.

All of the Band: This is me in year five, baby, yeah this is me in year five!

Funky Voice: This is me in year five!

All of the Band: This is me in year five, baby, this is me in year five!

Lead Singer: Well, most my friends are stupid and one of em' is smart, but none of em' can help me with my Divination chart. I got into the classroom and my brain just wouldn't work; I guess I should have done it instead of acting like a jerk.

All of the Band: This is me in year five, baby, this is me in year five!

Funky Voice: This is me in year five!

All of the Band: This is me in year five, baby, yeah this is me in year five!

Dean: They called me mudblood!

Harry: They called me scar-face!

Neville: They called me clown boy!

Seamus: They called me idiot!

[music gets really, really quiet]

Ron: They called me Ronniekins.

[everyone listening gasps in horror]

[music gets loud again]

All of the Band: This is me in year five, baby, this is me in year five!

Funky Voice: This is me in year five!

All of the Band: This is me in year five, baby, this is me in year five!

Neville: Well this is me!

[drum and electric guitar 'duet' part]

[the audience starts to do headbangers]

Lead Singer: I've got some blue-green robes that I wore to the Great Hall. I wore them there 'cause we had another Yule ball. Professor M. said we should stop dancin' around two --- aw, look, Draco's wearin' a tutu!

All of the Band: This is me in year five, baby, yeah this is me in year five!

Funky Voice: This is me in year five!

[someone in background sobs]

All of the Band: This is me in year five, baby, yeah this is me in year five!

[music goes on for five more seconds, then stops, then starts again]

All of the Band: This is me in year five, baby, this is me in year five!

Funky Voice: This is me in year five!

All of the Band: This is me in year five, baby, this is me in year five!

[music goes on for about two more seconds, then stops]

Conclusion: The band bows, and the girls (and guys) scream, "WOOOOOOOOO! ALRIGHT!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Neville trips as he starts to go off the stage and lands on his bass keyboard, which hits Harry's drumset, which causes Harry to fall onto Seamus's organ/piano, who falls on Dean, who drops and breaks the double bass. Ron wasn't involved in this, because he already broke his guitar by slamming it on the floor (like any good rock star) and jumping into the crowd, who didn't get that they were supposed to catch him and made way for him to fall while thinking, 'Man, what an idiot.'

Next week on WM1 (Wizard/Witch Music First): Cast182; How It Started

END!

A/N2: Welllllllllll….how'd ya'll like it? Good? Bad? Stupid? Hilarious? You tell me! By the way, by 'Cast182' I meant it like 'Cast a spell', and I was saying the wizard equivalent of Blink182. Just so you know. Yay. Okay, now all of you review, because you love me so much and you'd hate to make me sad, and remember…if you don't like BNL (the band, sicko people), then you are…WEIRD!!!!!!!!!! But then again, I'm weird. That didn't come out right at all. Oh well. Review!

toodles,

Ron Weasley's Cutie