To follow in death

To follow in death

Part 3 ~ Nande?

By SW

** The continuation of this whole thing is due to Von's many many death threats that had me cowering behind my desk. *****

Sanzo sat up, mumbling a few curses he swiped at his eyes. Wiping away at the gathering tears. He let out a shaky breath, running the back of his hand against his sweaty forehead. "Just a dream…." He mumbled, relaxing his body. He looked around the unfamiliar room, where the hell was he anyway?

Hakkai sank down next to Gojyo, letting out a stressed sigh. "Why did he do it?" Gojyo shook his head slightly. The boy was laid out on a blanket, Hakkai had cleaned up the blood. "I don't know……but what do we do now?" He muttered, leaning on his elbows at the table. Both lifted their heads when they heard the door swing open. Hakkai resembling a deer caught in front of a pair of headlights, Gojyo looking panicked. Sanzo glared at them, a cigarette between his lips. "Where's the monkey?" The two yokkai's tried to make their mouths form words, two sets of eyes glancing to the covered form on the floor. The priest's eyes widened, and the cancer stick fell from his mouth. He walked/stumbled over to the body, dropping to the floor. His shoulders tensed, and a small shakes ran down the lanky body. "It wasn't a dream....." He mumbled more to himself then his deathly quiet friends. "He shot himself ne?" Sanzo asked quietly. "Uh hai..." Came the brunette's tentative answer. "Give me the gun." The priest demanded, he remained sitting with his back to them. Hakkai glanced at Gojyo, who shook his head. "Um you don't need it right now...W-Why don't you go get some sleep?" It was nearly impossible to tell what was going through the blond's head, and returning the weapon didn't seem like a terribly good idea. "Get out." He snapped, the shaking had increased. Gojyo stood and genitally pulled Hakkai after him, closing the door of their room.

Hakkai leaned against the door, sighing once more. An ever-present smile on his face. "Is it a good idea to leave him alone?" The half-breed nodded. "He needs time to himself." The brunette wrung his hands, fighting back tears once more. "Stop it." Hakkai blinked looking at the hand on his shoulder. "Stop what?" "Smiling....I hate it when you smile like that...Cry if you have to damn it! But don't smile!" A choked sob rose in the green-eyed yokkai's throat. He leaned his head against Gojyo's shoulder, the smile faded. Clenching the fabric of the half-breeds shirt in his hand. Letting go of his control, he let the tears fall. And was hugged in return by Gojyo, who did his best to comfort his friend.

Sanzo lifted the lifeless form that had once been Son Goku, he cradled it in his arms. He tilted his head back staring at the ceiling, like he could see past it. "Nande?! Nande?!!? Why did you take him away?!?!?" Sanzo cried in fury and in pain, cursing the heavens above. Screaming his loss to the cruel gods. He cried until his voice cracked and no longer had the energy to lift his head. He hadn't shed a single tear...

Gojyo pressed his ear to the door, Turning back to Hakkai. "He stopped yelling...Should we check on him?" The green-eyed yokkai nodded, opening the door. "Hai, that would probably be best." Glancing into the room, assured Hakkai that Sanzo hadn't done anything irrational. The priest was still very much alive, sitting hunched over the still form. The blond jerked when a hand was placed on his shoulder. "Sanzo, go get some more sleep." Between the two yokkai's they managed to get an unwilling Sanzo back into his room. Deciding it would be safer if they locked the door. "We removed everything that was breakable, poison ness and sharp right?" The half-breed asked, casting an uneasy glance at the only thing that was keeping the monk from getting out of the room. "Hai, anything that I thought he might be able to use was removed. Gojyo sighed leaning back against the wall. "Well I know I'll sleep better tonight." Hakkai just nodded in reply.

The blond in question moved about his room like a caged animal. Snarling quietly, looking for anything to lash out at. He gave up after awhile of seemingly ceaseless pacing, sinking back down upon the bed. He let his eyes fall shut; maybe things would be clearer when he woke up.

~ It was like he was looking through another person's eyes, he could see Goku hugging his body. Scattered about them were the numerous yokkai who had attacked them. There was no sound, every thing was muted. He couldn't even hear the words the boy spoke to the monk in his arms, reaching down and picking up the gun. Placing it in his open mouth….No…no…he couldn't be watching….No!…Not that! …He couldn't watch Goku take his own life. The boys face was so calm, like there was nothing wrong. The trails of tears snaking down the tan cheeks contradicted the boy's appearance. Gold pools held more sadness and desperation then he could remember seeing. During the same instant the boy pulled the trigger, he saw the twitch of the priest's eyelids. For that one bleak instant the boy knew his companion was alive, for the brief moment the golden orbs reflected remorse. But it was too late, in a flash all emotion was gone from those eyes. As they went blank in death, Goku's body fell forward. The only sound he heard was the ringing of the gunshot. Limply the messy brown head fell upon the priest's chest, blood dripping down to join the rest that soaked the robes. ~

Sanzo's eyes shoot open, shuddering he rolled into a ball. Wrapping his arms about himself, he tried to hide from the cold that filled him. Allowing himself for a few moments to shake with the sobs that escaped his lips.

"Nande?…….nande……"

****Alrightly this part is done! *victory sign* Geeze this is what? The 2nd time I killed Goku!? How?! why?! I luv Goku!!!!!!! WAAAAH! I dun wanna kill Goku!!!!****

Notes: Nande means why