Tasuki blinked.
"Nakago?"
She looked and sounded plain evil now. "Absolutely! 'All you know, all you hold close,' That's what Oak said, right? You know the Seryuu! That means they're pokemon too." She grinned at him. "I'll make sure you know enough about your own species to get along. I trust I did my job well! If I know me, I did something great. I love my work," she stated in conclusion. She snapped her fingers.
Tasuki suddenly knew. Everything. All his strengths and weaknesses, all his powers, all his evolutions...
"That should do it for you, Gen-chan."
Now he found himself curious. Good god, only five minutes with an author and he was already thinking like them!
He "charrr"ed in surrender. He had no choice. And he was growing more and more curious as to what everyone had become, too...
"Let's go. I wanna get this over with."
"GREAT!" she shouted, and hugged him again. "This won't be too bad, I don't think. Don't forget your tessen, here, I'll help it on you." she walked over to his clothes, fished out the tessen, and strapped it around his new Charmander body. It made him a lot more comfortable, feeling the familiar weapon rest against his back.
She rose, and was about to march in the direction of the castle when he stopped her.
"Wait, why are we walking? It's still a long way. Can't we just zap there or something?"
"Yup, but I wanna walk. It's not every day I go into my own fanfiction! And I wanna spend extra time with you, even if you aren't your normal sexy self right now. And you need to get used to your new body, in case I decide to heat things up and you need to fight. I might have you evolve..."
He groaned as they walked. How long was she going to ramble on like this? He was getting interested in all these powers he was supposed to have. Quickly, he turned around and took a deep breath. He could sense her eyes on him as he suddenly breathed a fireball at his will.
This startled the bejeezus out of him. "CHAAARR!!" he shouted, and stumbled backwards. She laughed.
"I KNEW you wouldn't be able to resist, once you knew what you could do!"
She paused.
This made Tasuki very, very nervous. Since she was the author of this fanfic, every thought she had became a reality. Even if she dismissed it as a bad idea... even if it WAS a bad idea and she desperately tried to take it back... the foundations of it were laid. It would happen, one way or another.
She knew it, too. Apparently, she had had a bad idea, since her first word after the pause was,
"Shit."
"WHAT?! WHAT THE F*** DID YOU DO?!" He hollered, panicked.
"Um, you'll be fighting, all right. Versus the Seryuu."
Tasuki REALLY frowned now. "NANI?!?!"
"Nobody'll DIE or anything," she said quickly. "It's just a fight. But I am determined NOT to let the Suzaku have a surefire win. That'd be too boring."
"..."
"What's wrong? You gotta admit, that would be a sucky battle, if I just let the good guys walk away with victory."
"... I hate authors," Tasuki grumbled. "Don't you care about us at all?"
"Recall the tone of the 'shit.' Was it an upset, regretful 'shit' or an amused and entertained 'shit?' 'Shit' can mean many, many things. You of all people know that. I was entertained at the thought."
"... I guess not," he grumbled. He began mumbling curses under his breath with each step, until she stopped walking and spun to face him.
"Since it would take too long, and since this is my fanfic, I'm simply going to cheat and train you Matrix style."
He stared at her, blank. "Eh?"
She walked up to him, and he almost cowered. But he stood his ground, not one to show fear. She stuck her index and middle finger onto his forehead, and closed her eyes. He inadvertently closed his own when he felt a sudden rush of power and information. He backed away, stunned, when it was all over.
"Wh.. what was that?!"
"That, my bishonen, was about 35 hours worth of gameplay in seven seconds. You're level... oh... 80."
Whoa. "Damn! You're serious? Then why didn't I turn into that kickass dragon thing?"
"Charizard? Oh, that'd be because I like the idea that Pokemon can only evolve in the heat of things or stuff like that, not on any brick level like in the game. I think that's the way it is in the manga, but I'm not sure... anyway, since I'm not going by the game rules and following the manga more, you also know more than just four moves, and..."
"Never mind! I don't care!" he hollered. "God, you talk a lot!"
"Back off, I don't talk as much as SOME authors."
"I doubt it," he growled. A thought struck him. "Hey, what author are you, anyway? I can't just call you 'author' all the time."
She was surprised, and looked down at him. He couldn't read her expression... she was too weird for that. She seemed kind of happy, but also curious... maybe she wondered why he asked, or how he'd react.
"I'm Bishonen no Miko."
Silence for a moment. Then...
"BISHONEN NO MIKO?!?!" he yelped.
She gave her half-smile. "My reputation precedes me?"
He was dealing with a very, very, very, risky, author. "Y... You're Bishonen no Miko? I've heard about you! You're that author that..."
"Yes?" she said sweetly, bending over towards him. He backed away in fear, and pointed an accusing finger at her.
"YOU'RE going to have to rate MORE than one of your chapters in that 'What If' Dragon Ball Z fanfic of yours NC-17 because of violence ALONE!!"
She smirked. "It would have been for language, too, but you can't really curse when your intestines are being ea..."
"SHUT UP!! What is this fanfic rated?! TELL ME NOW!!"
"PG-13 for language."
An immediate flood of relief cooled Tasuki's raging blood.
"Hey, at least I don't write sex, thank you. I've never written anything beyond before and after, and never will."
He sighed, and they began walking again. "That's the ONLY thing you don't do."
Bishonen no Miko' eyes trailed up, thinking for something else she didn't do in her fanfiction as they walked. After ten or so seconds, she chirped, "I haven't done any Piccolo/Gohan fanfiction!!"
"I mean in general."
"Oh." She frowned and started thinking again. A minute later, she spoke.
"I haven't done any threesomes!!"
"That falls under sex."
"Dammit," she mumbled, and kept thinking. Finally, she came up with something.
"I haven't written any romantic crossovers! No DBZ gang with the Sailor Senshi, no Gundam boys in love with Rayearth girls. THERE!" she shouted in triumph. "Take THAT!"
"You're way too enthusiastic about this stuff," Tasuki sighed. Something else was bugging him. If this was the Miko... "Hey, I've got another question."
"Yeah?"
"Who the hell do you really think I should be with? You've matched me with Nuriko, Chichiri, Kouji, and random women I kidnap in bandit raids! WILL YOU STOP BEING SO GODDAMN FICKLE AND STICK TO ONE PERSON AND ONE SEXUAL PREFERENCE SO I DON'T GO COMPLETELY INSANE?!?"
She grinned. "That'd be no fun, Gen-chan. Besides, the one person I think you should truly be with is me. How can I do that when I hate SSI so much?"
He blinked. Of course; this was Bishonen no Miko, one of the authors who constantly tortured her most beloved characters, physically and mentally. If that was the case, then she REALLY liked him, and turning him into a Charmander proved it.
Not to mention the fact that she was THE infamous Bishonen fangirl...
"Oh," She suddenly said, "You don't have to call me "Bishonen no Miko" all the time, 'kay? Just call me The Miko. I override Miaka, got it?"
He could sense some animosity when the name "Miaka" came into play, but he put that aside for later because she suddenly said "Chichiri."
"Eh?"
"Chichiri is the true answer to your question, baka!" She said, grinning.
Suddenly, humongous stars started shining in her chibi eyes, a wide, content smile broke across her face, and her hands, clenched together, rose to the side of her head, making him almost throw up.
Thank God it had already been determined he was straight in this fic, because she was definitely thinking the opposite right now...
Damn authors. When the hell would they get to the palace...
"Nakago?"
She looked and sounded plain evil now. "Absolutely! 'All you know, all you hold close,' That's what Oak said, right? You know the Seryuu! That means they're pokemon too." She grinned at him. "I'll make sure you know enough about your own species to get along. I trust I did my job well! If I know me, I did something great. I love my work," she stated in conclusion. She snapped her fingers.
Tasuki suddenly knew. Everything. All his strengths and weaknesses, all his powers, all his evolutions...
"That should do it for you, Gen-chan."
Now he found himself curious. Good god, only five minutes with an author and he was already thinking like them!
He "charrr"ed in surrender. He had no choice. And he was growing more and more curious as to what everyone had become, too...
"Let's go. I wanna get this over with."
"GREAT!" she shouted, and hugged him again. "This won't be too bad, I don't think. Don't forget your tessen, here, I'll help it on you." she walked over to his clothes, fished out the tessen, and strapped it around his new Charmander body. It made him a lot more comfortable, feeling the familiar weapon rest against his back.
She rose, and was about to march in the direction of the castle when he stopped her.
"Wait, why are we walking? It's still a long way. Can't we just zap there or something?"
"Yup, but I wanna walk. It's not every day I go into my own fanfiction! And I wanna spend extra time with you, even if you aren't your normal sexy self right now. And you need to get used to your new body, in case I decide to heat things up and you need to fight. I might have you evolve..."
He groaned as they walked. How long was she going to ramble on like this? He was getting interested in all these powers he was supposed to have. Quickly, he turned around and took a deep breath. He could sense her eyes on him as he suddenly breathed a fireball at his will.
This startled the bejeezus out of him. "CHAAARR!!" he shouted, and stumbled backwards. She laughed.
"I KNEW you wouldn't be able to resist, once you knew what you could do!"
She paused.
This made Tasuki very, very nervous. Since she was the author of this fanfic, every thought she had became a reality. Even if she dismissed it as a bad idea... even if it WAS a bad idea and she desperately tried to take it back... the foundations of it were laid. It would happen, one way or another.
She knew it, too. Apparently, she had had a bad idea, since her first word after the pause was,
"Shit."
"WHAT?! WHAT THE F*** DID YOU DO?!" He hollered, panicked.
"Um, you'll be fighting, all right. Versus the Seryuu."
Tasuki REALLY frowned now. "NANI?!?!"
"Nobody'll DIE or anything," she said quickly. "It's just a fight. But I am determined NOT to let the Suzaku have a surefire win. That'd be too boring."
"..."
"What's wrong? You gotta admit, that would be a sucky battle, if I just let the good guys walk away with victory."
"... I hate authors," Tasuki grumbled. "Don't you care about us at all?"
"Recall the tone of the 'shit.' Was it an upset, regretful 'shit' or an amused and entertained 'shit?' 'Shit' can mean many, many things. You of all people know that. I was entertained at the thought."
"... I guess not," he grumbled. He began mumbling curses under his breath with each step, until she stopped walking and spun to face him.
"Since it would take too long, and since this is my fanfic, I'm simply going to cheat and train you Matrix style."
He stared at her, blank. "Eh?"
She walked up to him, and he almost cowered. But he stood his ground, not one to show fear. She stuck her index and middle finger onto his forehead, and closed her eyes. He inadvertently closed his own when he felt a sudden rush of power and information. He backed away, stunned, when it was all over.
"Wh.. what was that?!"
"That, my bishonen, was about 35 hours worth of gameplay in seven seconds. You're level... oh... 80."
Whoa. "Damn! You're serious? Then why didn't I turn into that kickass dragon thing?"
"Charizard? Oh, that'd be because I like the idea that Pokemon can only evolve in the heat of things or stuff like that, not on any brick level like in the game. I think that's the way it is in the manga, but I'm not sure... anyway, since I'm not going by the game rules and following the manga more, you also know more than just four moves, and..."
"Never mind! I don't care!" he hollered. "God, you talk a lot!"
"Back off, I don't talk as much as SOME authors."
"I doubt it," he growled. A thought struck him. "Hey, what author are you, anyway? I can't just call you 'author' all the time."
She was surprised, and looked down at him. He couldn't read her expression... she was too weird for that. She seemed kind of happy, but also curious... maybe she wondered why he asked, or how he'd react.
"I'm Bishonen no Miko."
Silence for a moment. Then...
"BISHONEN NO MIKO?!?!" he yelped.
She gave her half-smile. "My reputation precedes me?"
He was dealing with a very, very, very, risky, author. "Y... You're Bishonen no Miko? I've heard about you! You're that author that..."
"Yes?" she said sweetly, bending over towards him. He backed away in fear, and pointed an accusing finger at her.
"YOU'RE going to have to rate MORE than one of your chapters in that 'What If' Dragon Ball Z fanfic of yours NC-17 because of violence ALONE!!"
She smirked. "It would have been for language, too, but you can't really curse when your intestines are being ea..."
"SHUT UP!! What is this fanfic rated?! TELL ME NOW!!"
"PG-13 for language."
An immediate flood of relief cooled Tasuki's raging blood.
"Hey, at least I don't write sex, thank you. I've never written anything beyond before and after, and never will."
He sighed, and they began walking again. "That's the ONLY thing you don't do."
Bishonen no Miko' eyes trailed up, thinking for something else she didn't do in her fanfiction as they walked. After ten or so seconds, she chirped, "I haven't done any Piccolo/Gohan fanfiction!!"
"I mean in general."
"Oh." She frowned and started thinking again. A minute later, she spoke.
"I haven't done any threesomes!!"
"That falls under sex."
"Dammit," she mumbled, and kept thinking. Finally, she came up with something.
"I haven't written any romantic crossovers! No DBZ gang with the Sailor Senshi, no Gundam boys in love with Rayearth girls. THERE!" she shouted in triumph. "Take THAT!"
"You're way too enthusiastic about this stuff," Tasuki sighed. Something else was bugging him. If this was the Miko... "Hey, I've got another question."
"Yeah?"
"Who the hell do you really think I should be with? You've matched me with Nuriko, Chichiri, Kouji, and random women I kidnap in bandit raids! WILL YOU STOP BEING SO GODDAMN FICKLE AND STICK TO ONE PERSON AND ONE SEXUAL PREFERENCE SO I DON'T GO COMPLETELY INSANE?!?"
She grinned. "That'd be no fun, Gen-chan. Besides, the one person I think you should truly be with is me. How can I do that when I hate SSI so much?"
He blinked. Of course; this was Bishonen no Miko, one of the authors who constantly tortured her most beloved characters, physically and mentally. If that was the case, then she REALLY liked him, and turning him into a Charmander proved it.
Not to mention the fact that she was THE infamous Bishonen fangirl...
"Oh," She suddenly said, "You don't have to call me "Bishonen no Miko" all the time, 'kay? Just call me The Miko. I override Miaka, got it?"
He could sense some animosity when the name "Miaka" came into play, but he put that aside for later because she suddenly said "Chichiri."
"Eh?"
"Chichiri is the true answer to your question, baka!" She said, grinning.
Suddenly, humongous stars started shining in her chibi eyes, a wide, content smile broke across her face, and her hands, clenched together, rose to the side of her head, making him almost throw up.
Thank God it had already been determined he was straight in this fic, because she was definitely thinking the opposite right now...
Damn authors. When the hell would they get to the palace...
