Dou's Oranges

"What's he thinking?" The Ditzy guards were back and eyeing Zechs suspiciously. He had a big dopey grin on his face.
"I'd like a beer and to see something naked." The other pilots bust into fits of laughter at Zechs' sudden outburst. The guards simply glared.
"You're kidding right?"
"I wish I was...but I'm not. That's it. From the ages of fifteen to the grave, that's what men are thinking. If you see an eighty year old man in a nursing home in a wheelchair, that's what he's thinking," Zechs said. Then in an old man's voice he added, "I'd like a beer and to see something naked." There was more hysterical laughter. Suddenly two important looking people strode into the cell. One lifted Duo by his braid.
"Hey, I didn't know one of the Gundam Pilots was a chick," he said looking away from duo at his colleague. Duo boiled with anger. Quatre swiped two oranges that Trowa was juggling and stuffed them into Duo's shirt.
"Look at her! She's puny!" The man was referring to the oranges in Duo's shirt. The pilots shook with silent laughter. The second man looked Duo over.
"That must be...Duo. I figured that the wanna-be-guy would be in the one with all the guns. Or did he fly the winged one (A/N: the dude is talking about the Gundams if you don't know.) Apparently these guys had no clue who was who and who piloted which Gundam. The second man turned to Zechs.
"You must be that...Wufei guy right? You look tough." Zechs looked down at him. He was an old man, in his seventies, hard of hearing and shot of sight and stature. "That blonde kid must be that...of what's his name? Oh yeah! Heero You-wee." The old man peered at Trowa through his thick glasses, "I'll bet yer that Zechs one. An' that makes him..." the old fart paused and pointed at Heero. "He's that Winner kid." The guy who was checking out Duo's 'breasts' counted on his fingers,
"Uh...ey! We missed one," he said and squeezed Duo's left 'breast.'
"You idiots!" raged the American. He yanked the oranges out of his shirt and brained the man who held his braid. "I'm a guy! I'm Duo, that's Zechs, that's Quatre, that's Trowa, that's Heero, and Wufei is the one that isn't here! You dolts are the biggest flamers I've seen!"
"Smooth Dou," Zechs spat as the two men left. " Real smooth. You shoulda let them try to figure out who was who. We were going to escape once Quatre had seduced those two ditzes they call cell guards."
"You're both very sexy," Quatre said to the guards looking them straight in the eye and sounding for all the world he meant it. They were over come by Quatre's smooth talk and fainted dead away.
"Dude, even if they had stayed up till now. They wouldn't have let us out."


A/N: Ok once again (and unfortunately) we don't own Gundam Wing. For those of you that have been complaining that these 'escapades' are too short...there suppose to be short. There only little events that out boys use to annoy the guards. There not meant to draw the plot out and create conflicts and such. But the good news is they will be getting a tad longer. When I'm done with Escapades, you'll get you long story like chapter for the next Gundam Wing story. Now review! I command you to do so!

Stay tuned for the next installment of Escapades of Captured Pilots entitled: Why Wufei Can't Have Alcohol. ^_^


J-San say: To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you're not, pretend you are.