FF7
Episode -1

A long long time ago, in a weird world of Squaresoft far away.....


Doo Do Doo Dooooo dOOOOOO da da da dooo da, da da da dooo da dum de te dum

The world was under attack by this huge meteor thingie,

Yet there was one hope for the world

Luke (err.. i mean The Rebellion)

Unfortunately, they died from the meteor which bounced back to mars, blew it up,

And now it is heading to this weird world of Squaresofty goodness (no offense)

So now there is the group AVALANCHE

Unfortunately it is consisted of guys with gun-arms, spiky-headed-jerks,

And a lot of other people that join as they progress

That wear funky-pants and do a funky dance

Whenever they win

Wait..

No thats the Pokemon fanfic

Anyway.....


A ship enters a dark bigger ship and two figures come out of the smaller ship, onto the platform of the bigger ship

Then the one with the gun-arm says "We are the Champion Fetti, and you are the losers. We request immediate action upon your butt er.. head"

BOOM

Soldiers blew up the small ship, so now the two Champions are screwed

The spiky-headed-one named Cloud says "Master, you jack and dumb @$$.

We were supposed to negotiate peace with the losers, not initiate combat"

Then the gun-armed one named barret says: "Fine... You be the master"

Cloud: Fine.. be a butt young padawan

Barret: "I have a bad feeling about this master"

Cloud: Shut up Shut up Shut up

Barret: Master there coming in full forces

Cloud: Dont worry, there just flying toads

Barret: @#$% they got miniguns

Cloud: Well I got OMNISLASH

AAARRRGGGGHHHHHHH

(chop swish slash bang boom ...ow)

Princess Tifa runs out

Tifa: Help Cloud Im being captured by Darth Sephiroth

Barret shoves her out of the way: Not yet @#$$%, one more time you come out here, Ill blow up your water balloons

Princess Tifa (whispers): Thats our secret right.....

Barret: Hell no Tifa's got fake kahunas Tifa's got fake kahunas!

Cloud looks over: Use the force young one.

Barret summons his energy

(Water spilling sound,)

Tifa: Darn you (jumps off into space, followed by an explosion)

Cloud:Darn, there goes my sister

Cloud: Young padawan hurry we must escape throught the ventilation shafts

Barret: What the hell you talkin' about. You go through the shafts, Ill go through the front door.

Cloud: Young padawan, do as i say

Barret: Okay (Thinking...%^@# you cloud)

Cloud and Barret start running to the shafts

Suddenly, Sephiroth Starts running towards them

Sephiroth: I will now let you go, not by the hairs on my chiny chin butt.

Barret: Well then I'll blow and i'll balst and blow your butt in.

Sephiroth: arrghh!!

Sephiroth Jumps in the air

Aries runs in

Aries: Cloud, watch out

Aries runs up to Cloud and Barret, and pushes them in the Shafts

Sephiroth comes down from the sky, killing Aries............................Again

Cloud and Barret escape without a backward glance...

Aeris stands up

Aeris: Sephiroth, excellent acting.

Sephiroth: Just like the '60's

Aeris: Alright were's my money

Sephiroth: Here it is (kills Aeris for real)

Aeris: Crap (falls over dead)

Cloud and Barret run through the shafts but then they pass by a room full of hot babes

Barret goes in

Cloud: Do not be distracted young padawan. Temptations lead to the dark side

Barret: And the bed

Barret starts singing "You and me.. Sponataneous lovin' baby two or three"

Cloud shakes his head...

Cloud: Another one bites the dust

All of a sudden......

OMNISLASH

(Slish swhish Bam Boom)

Cloud: I hate to have to kill me padawans but he was asking for it.

Cloud runs out the shaft, and runs into a dog

Red XIII: Mesa Red XIII, whatsa u name

Cloud: You owe me a life debt

Red XIII: Mesa no think so

Huge fire....Boom

Cloud.....smithereens

Red XIII runs around: All right.....

Darth Sephiroth comes out and says

Red XIII I am your son

Red XIII: WTF?








BOOM







Sephiroth.... gone
Planet saved
Everyone dead










Except.....




Sephiroth LALALALALALALA you can't catch me







In heaven:
GOD looks at Cloud I gotta kill Sephiroth..

Aeris: Let him go Let him goooooo

Barret: no no no no no no no

Cloud: Barret whatcha doin in heaven
Barret: Crap....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


Created by: Apple_Of_Enlightenment