Maria's chapter of the Twilight series

Maria's chapter of the Twilight series.

Forever Dwell By Starlight

The darkness surrounded her, and her mind would not rest. Over and over the words pounded her: Forever, Forever, Forever. . .

She told him that she would wait forever, but forever now seemed so far away, knowing, as she did, that he was gone for good. The clock in her hallway counted the hours, but she just continued to lay on her bed and stare at her ceiling. The stars that they had put there so long ago still glowed faintly in the artificial darkness of her room.

She had tried, for appearance sake, to be strong, because she was supposedly a strong person. But when Tess had refused to admit the truth, it had gotten her to thinking.

Because forever is a very long time, when you know he's not coming. And he was not coming back, no matter how deep their love had been. Because he was dead. And dead is dead. After death, there was not much that anyone could do. How could she keep her promise to a dead man?

For a while, although she hadn't told her best friends, she wanted to die too. She didn't want to face the idea of life without him, her best friend, her confidant, her everything. But he would never return, and she had to stay strong, for her friend's sake.

She stared at the stars on the ceiling, and focused on a formation in the corner she had never seen before. I love you, she read aloud, and smiled despite herself. That was just the kind of thing he would have done without telling her. He used to leave her messages, on the refrigerator and on the table and tucked inside her wallet, telling her things she would never hear from his mouth. How, she wondered aloud, could anyone possibly live up to him? Without him, what purpose could her life serve?

The words in the corner glowed more brightly as she concentrated. Maybe if she held on to that moment long enough, it would become real, and she could rest secure in the fact that if she waited forever, she would eventually find him again. But deep down she knew there were no guarantees.

But, she thought, isn't life an endless non-guarantee? Nothing is certain. Even death is not certain, because we don't know what happens after. Maybe we have no need of guarantees. Because what continues on is the human spirit.

Even though he died, he lives on in me, and in those stars in the corner. She stared up at the stars, finally comprehending what she would have to do.

She would have to hold on forever, and she would have to let go. She would have to wait, but she would have to keep moving. Her life, once so simple and serene, would have to become more complicated.

But it will be worth it, she thought as she opened the dark curtains at last, letting the bright desert sunlight into her room. Because maybe if I wait long enough, my dream will come true, and I will find what I have waited for. Him.

In the meantime, she would have to live her life. He would not have wanted her to stop living because he was dead. He had always placed a lot of value on life, and she would live up to that. She would live on in his name and in his presence, because in that way she could keep her promise.

Maria blew a kiss at the paste up glow stars in the corner of the room as she hurried out.

After all, she had to keep going. She had promised.