Chapter 15: Inexorable Weakness (The Power of Goodbye)
Aximili
*//..."Well, if you were not the stubborn, detestable Andalite that you are... yes. Of course. You would be an enjoyable friend." She paused and continued. "Well... do you like me, then?"
I focused two of my eyes on her, surprised at the question. Well... if you were not the adamant, obnoxious Yeerk that you are... yes. You would be an enjoyable friend as well. I immediately regretted saying anything, and was thankful that none of my friends were here to witness this... atrocious occurrence.//*
*************************************
I was grazing, deep in thought. It was later in the morning but still early, and I was tired because of my foolish decision the night before to get a sufficient amount of sleep.
Tobias had relieved me of duty and I was glad to have a break. I decided I would take a nap later on, if not then. But no more than a few moments later, I heard someone coming from far off. It was Cassie.
Hello, Cassie. What brings you here?
"Just came to send a message," she said. "Jake said 'thank you' for completing the solution, and later on we're going to take Aurana back to her house to give her the solution there. Jake wanted you to help them."
That is fine. When, exactly, does he want me to attend?
She shrugged. "Probably around three or four, when everyone gets out of school."
All right.
She cocked her head slightly. "Are you okay?"
I froze. Had something I said given myself away? Of course not. I had been careful about what I said, and what I didn't. Despite the guilty feelings, I knew I could never admit to any of my friends, including Cassie, of the specifics of my conversations with Aurana. As soon as she lost her memory this evening, so would the chance of anyone ever knowing. Yes, I am fine.
"You look tired."
Oh, I was angry with myself for being so 'paranoid' as Marco called it. Yes. The night was a long one. But I am at least relieved.
"That she'll be gone?"
Yes, I said quickly, though that was not what I was about to say. That and the fact that we will no longer have to worry about watching her, and focus on the more important tasks.
"Yeah. But it'll be sorry to see her go."
Why do you say that?
"She was an interesting person to talk with."
You spoke with her?
"Yeah. About a bunch of stuff. Yeerks, Andalites, that kind of thing."
Oh.
"Don't act so surprised. You were speaking with her too. Seemed like you guys really seemed to be hitting it off."
When? Are you speaking about the other night? I began to worry. Had she seen Aurana and I? Was it that obvious?
"That too. But there was another time as well... a couple days ago. When I came in and took over."
Since she did not mention anything else about the night before, I assumed the better of the worse. Possibly she had not seen us. Which would be better, because it was an occurrence that would go with me to my death.
************************
It was nearly before Human school would end. I was at the shed, waiting for the others to arrive, and untying the rope that had bound Aurana's hands to the pole. I finished the task quickly; I no longer enjoyed being around her so often and now felt nervous to even be this close. By the way she pulled away when my hand brushed against her fingers as I untied the rope, I could tell the feeling was mutual.
"So, is today the day?" she asked, standing up and rubbing her wrists in an alleviating gesture.
Yes. I answered slightly tersely.
She did not seem to notice. "It feels... slightly odd. To think that all that has happened over the course of a few days will be forgotten."
It will not be all that different... you might possibly wake up with a headache but that is all.
"That is not what I meant. I mean that when I attempt to think about the past few days, the memory will not be there. It shall be simply gone."
Not completely. Nothing can delete your memory cells without damaging nerve tissue, I explained. It will render the recent cells in accessible.
She leaned against the wall of the shed looking outside. I arched my tail slightly, watching her closely. She glanced at the movement and smiled slightly, returning her gaze to the scenery outside.
"Calm down, Aximili. I am not an idiot and I will not attempt to take advantage of your precarious leniency."
I said nothing for the moment.
"Since this is most likely the last chance I'm going to say this, I had better say it now."
Say what?
She remained quiet for a few moments and then spoke. "I enjoyed speaking with you these past few days. And despite the fact that you were rude, obnoxious, and at times I could not stand being around you... it was fun. Debating. And just talking, I suppose, even though I cannot remember if we ever held a conversation for longer than a few minutes without going into some debate." She smiled vaguely. "I will miss it."
I was unsure of whether this was sincere, or her getting revenge for my taunting earlier. Nevertheless, I responded. I will miss it as well.
"I do not know what happened yesterday. I am even more unsure of what happened earlier this morning. But you cannot deny that it occurred."
No. I cannot. And I apologize for blaming you. In a way, we were both at fault.
"We were. And in a way... I am jealous of you."
Why?
"Because... after today, I will have no recollection of anything that occurred these past few days. You will be able to remember everything."
Yes... but I will have no one to share it with.
Silence ensued. And then, she smiled slightly, for no apparent reason.
"So, is there anything else you would like to debate before I go?"
I would like to continue that debate on Cencurian technology...
She shook her head. "I knew that you were going to get into that." Then she smiled and looked toward me. "All right. Go."
We engaged in a long debate that lasted for awhile. The odd thing was, we did not focus on Cencurian technology alone. Somewhere at the midpoint we went on a tangent, that went off on another and another.
At that moment, my ears picked up a sound from far away, as though someone were coming. Prince Jake.
"What is it?" she asked, aware that I was alert, now.
My friends are on their way.
"Oh." Her eyes scanned the floor, and then in a sudden moment she reached forward and took my hand. "Thank you, Aximili. For speaking with me, and debating with me. For being kind when you did not have to be. For saving my life more than once. I suppose that what I will miss the most will be knowing you."
To this, I could not truly respond. We stood there in silence for a moment, and then, keeping my stalk eyes on the door, and using the other pair to look at her, I smiled the best way I could. You should not say that.
"Why?" she asked surprised, and almost hurt. Her hand began to loosen its' grip, but I tightened my own grip around it.
Because it will make saying goodbye harder than it is to be.
I had considered this a foolish, and possibly overly sentimental statement, but she simply smiled, her face turning a slightly darker shade of pink. In a way, I did not regret saying it all. It made me feel good to say what I thought. Our hands remained clasped together for another moment. We looked out the door, and stood in silence. Then her hand dropped to her side, my hand to mine. And before either of us could say anything more, Prince Jake walked in.
It seemed like a quick walk from the shed to her house. Within moments we reached the place (I had morphed human before we left the woods) and entered with both her and Erek's assurance that Ana's parents did not usually arrive home until later in the evening.
"Do you have the solution?" I asked Erek.
"Yes," he fumbled around his pocket and handed it to me. I gave it to her as she raised an apprehensive eyebrow.
"All you need to do is simply drink it. You will fall asleep within a few moments," I assured her.
She sat on her host's bed and nodded. "Alright." She raised the container half heartedly after opening it, and drank it with a surprised look on her face. "It does not have a taste."
"Would you rather it taste like cinnabuns?" I said, half regretting it because Prince Jake was directly behind me and was most likely suspicious of my friendliness toward her.
She smiled and shook her head slowly. Before getting a chance to say anything else, she fell asleep. Quietly, Prince Jake, Erek, and I left the room, closing the door behind us.
"That wasn't too hard a mission- if you could even call it that," Erek said as we exited the house. It was windy, but lukewarm. Almost what humans would call a 'nice day'. Strangely calm, considering that the past week nothing about the situation I had with Aurana was calm at all.
"I'm just glad that's over," Prince Jake responded, snapping me away from my dreamlike reality with his voice.
I was unruefully glad as well that it was over. I could spend my days grazing to myself, or planning with the others an attack on the Yeerks, or even going to the mall and eating cinnabuns or other enjoyable Earth foods with my friends, all without having to worry about watching Aurana.
And yet...
Aximili
*//..."Well, if you were not the stubborn, detestable Andalite that you are... yes. Of course. You would be an enjoyable friend." She paused and continued. "Well... do you like me, then?"
I focused two of my eyes on her, surprised at the question. Well... if you were not the adamant, obnoxious Yeerk that you are... yes. You would be an enjoyable friend as well. I immediately regretted saying anything, and was thankful that none of my friends were here to witness this... atrocious occurrence.//*
*************************************
I was grazing, deep in thought. It was later in the morning but still early, and I was tired because of my foolish decision the night before to get a sufficient amount of sleep.
Tobias had relieved me of duty and I was glad to have a break. I decided I would take a nap later on, if not then. But no more than a few moments later, I heard someone coming from far off. It was Cassie.
Hello, Cassie. What brings you here?
"Just came to send a message," she said. "Jake said 'thank you' for completing the solution, and later on we're going to take Aurana back to her house to give her the solution there. Jake wanted you to help them."
That is fine. When, exactly, does he want me to attend?
She shrugged. "Probably around three or four, when everyone gets out of school."
All right.
She cocked her head slightly. "Are you okay?"
I froze. Had something I said given myself away? Of course not. I had been careful about what I said, and what I didn't. Despite the guilty feelings, I knew I could never admit to any of my friends, including Cassie, of the specifics of my conversations with Aurana. As soon as she lost her memory this evening, so would the chance of anyone ever knowing. Yes, I am fine.
"You look tired."
Oh, I was angry with myself for being so 'paranoid' as Marco called it. Yes. The night was a long one. But I am at least relieved.
"That she'll be gone?"
Yes, I said quickly, though that was not what I was about to say. That and the fact that we will no longer have to worry about watching her, and focus on the more important tasks.
"Yeah. But it'll be sorry to see her go."
Why do you say that?
"She was an interesting person to talk with."
You spoke with her?
"Yeah. About a bunch of stuff. Yeerks, Andalites, that kind of thing."
Oh.
"Don't act so surprised. You were speaking with her too. Seemed like you guys really seemed to be hitting it off."
When? Are you speaking about the other night? I began to worry. Had she seen Aurana and I? Was it that obvious?
"That too. But there was another time as well... a couple days ago. When I came in and took over."
Since she did not mention anything else about the night before, I assumed the better of the worse. Possibly she had not seen us. Which would be better, because it was an occurrence that would go with me to my death.
************************
It was nearly before Human school would end. I was at the shed, waiting for the others to arrive, and untying the rope that had bound Aurana's hands to the pole. I finished the task quickly; I no longer enjoyed being around her so often and now felt nervous to even be this close. By the way she pulled away when my hand brushed against her fingers as I untied the rope, I could tell the feeling was mutual.
"So, is today the day?" she asked, standing up and rubbing her wrists in an alleviating gesture.
Yes. I answered slightly tersely.
She did not seem to notice. "It feels... slightly odd. To think that all that has happened over the course of a few days will be forgotten."
It will not be all that different... you might possibly wake up with a headache but that is all.
"That is not what I meant. I mean that when I attempt to think about the past few days, the memory will not be there. It shall be simply gone."
Not completely. Nothing can delete your memory cells without damaging nerve tissue, I explained. It will render the recent cells in accessible.
She leaned against the wall of the shed looking outside. I arched my tail slightly, watching her closely. She glanced at the movement and smiled slightly, returning her gaze to the scenery outside.
"Calm down, Aximili. I am not an idiot and I will not attempt to take advantage of your precarious leniency."
I said nothing for the moment.
"Since this is most likely the last chance I'm going to say this, I had better say it now."
Say what?
She remained quiet for a few moments and then spoke. "I enjoyed speaking with you these past few days. And despite the fact that you were rude, obnoxious, and at times I could not stand being around you... it was fun. Debating. And just talking, I suppose, even though I cannot remember if we ever held a conversation for longer than a few minutes without going into some debate." She smiled vaguely. "I will miss it."
I was unsure of whether this was sincere, or her getting revenge for my taunting earlier. Nevertheless, I responded. I will miss it as well.
"I do not know what happened yesterday. I am even more unsure of what happened earlier this morning. But you cannot deny that it occurred."
No. I cannot. And I apologize for blaming you. In a way, we were both at fault.
"We were. And in a way... I am jealous of you."
Why?
"Because... after today, I will have no recollection of anything that occurred these past few days. You will be able to remember everything."
Yes... but I will have no one to share it with.
Silence ensued. And then, she smiled slightly, for no apparent reason.
"So, is there anything else you would like to debate before I go?"
I would like to continue that debate on Cencurian technology...
She shook her head. "I knew that you were going to get into that." Then she smiled and looked toward me. "All right. Go."
We engaged in a long debate that lasted for awhile. The odd thing was, we did not focus on Cencurian technology alone. Somewhere at the midpoint we went on a tangent, that went off on another and another.
At that moment, my ears picked up a sound from far away, as though someone were coming. Prince Jake.
"What is it?" she asked, aware that I was alert, now.
My friends are on their way.
"Oh." Her eyes scanned the floor, and then in a sudden moment she reached forward and took my hand. "Thank you, Aximili. For speaking with me, and debating with me. For being kind when you did not have to be. For saving my life more than once. I suppose that what I will miss the most will be knowing you."
To this, I could not truly respond. We stood there in silence for a moment, and then, keeping my stalk eyes on the door, and using the other pair to look at her, I smiled the best way I could. You should not say that.
"Why?" she asked surprised, and almost hurt. Her hand began to loosen its' grip, but I tightened my own grip around it.
Because it will make saying goodbye harder than it is to be.
I had considered this a foolish, and possibly overly sentimental statement, but she simply smiled, her face turning a slightly darker shade of pink. In a way, I did not regret saying it all. It made me feel good to say what I thought. Our hands remained clasped together for another moment. We looked out the door, and stood in silence. Then her hand dropped to her side, my hand to mine. And before either of us could say anything more, Prince Jake walked in.
It seemed like a quick walk from the shed to her house. Within moments we reached the place (I had morphed human before we left the woods) and entered with both her and Erek's assurance that Ana's parents did not usually arrive home until later in the evening.
"Do you have the solution?" I asked Erek.
"Yes," he fumbled around his pocket and handed it to me. I gave it to her as she raised an apprehensive eyebrow.
"All you need to do is simply drink it. You will fall asleep within a few moments," I assured her.
She sat on her host's bed and nodded. "Alright." She raised the container half heartedly after opening it, and drank it with a surprised look on her face. "It does not have a taste."
"Would you rather it taste like cinnabuns?" I said, half regretting it because Prince Jake was directly behind me and was most likely suspicious of my friendliness toward her.
She smiled and shook her head slowly. Before getting a chance to say anything else, she fell asleep. Quietly, Prince Jake, Erek, and I left the room, closing the door behind us.
"That wasn't too hard a mission- if you could even call it that," Erek said as we exited the house. It was windy, but lukewarm. Almost what humans would call a 'nice day'. Strangely calm, considering that the past week nothing about the situation I had with Aurana was calm at all.
"I'm just glad that's over," Prince Jake responded, snapping me away from my dreamlike reality with his voice.
I was unruefully glad as well that it was over. I could spend my days grazing to myself, or planning with the others an attack on the Yeerks, or even going to the mall and eating cinnabuns or other enjoyable Earth foods with my friends, all without having to worry about watching Aurana.
And yet...
