Here it is, the second part of my...weird...story.*coughs* I know, the idea is stupid and pretty senseless, but maybe you like it.
Bird-Lover
Part Two
School is over and I am walking home. Suddenly I hear footsteps.
"Hi Mimi!"
"Oh, hi Sora.", I smile to her. "How is it going? Still with your boyfriend?"
She giggles: "Yeah, still the old couple. But I wanted to talk to you about something different." "And about what?" She points towards a bench some meters away from us. "Maybe we should sit down." Her serious eyes are staring at me, and I nod. We settle down on the bench. "So, what's your problem", I ask, watching some sparrows which are searching for bread on the ground. "You."
"Me??", I look up, full of surprise. "Why me?"
"You acted strange the last days – I am worried about you. Do you have any problems?" "No, I am okay."
"Really?"
"Yes."
I can't look in her eyes – I am lying to her, I am lying to my best friend. But what shall I tell her? 'Sora, I am depressed, but I don't know why?' 'Sora, the birds are talking with me in my dreams....' She would think that I am crazy!
"Mimi, why are you lying?", a soft voice asks. I flinch. "I-I don't lye..."
She puts her hands on my shoulders and turns me around, so that I have to look in her eyes. "Yes, you are lying to me, your best friend. What's wrong with you, Mimi? Can't you tell it?"
I shake my head. She continues to talk with this softly and serious voice.
"Everybody is worried about you. You don't laugh or complain anymore, and it seems that you have lost your mood for shopping! Even the boys noticed something!"
I sniffle and put her hands away. "I'm sorry that I am worrying you, but you can't help me. This is something I have to handle on my own!"
"We can't help you? I can't help you...?"
Instead of answering her, I point towards the sparrows and ask: "What do you see there, Sora?"
She's confused, I can feel it, but after a short moment of silence she answers: "Well...only some birds, I think. Sparrows."
I stand up and shake my head. "No, you can't help me.
I leave her, alone. She wouldn't understand me. No one understands me. Only some birds.... That's what the most people think. I don't know why I think such weird things when I see birds... Things like 'This are the most beautiful creatures on this planet' or 'My god, the eyes of this blackbird are amazing!" I mean, I girl in my age should think that when she sees boys! When she watches her boyfriend...but not when she watches birds!
I shoot a last glance back to the bench. There she is, alone, the short red hair waves in the wind. I know that I hurt her. She only wanted to help me, and I pushed her away.
And then I realise it...
I am so stupid.
She asked me – seriously – she wanted to take me serious, but I refused.
I want that people take me serious, and when they do, I push them away...
What's the thing I really want?
*
I don't want to go home, not now.
I have to see clearer about myself.
So I stay in the park and watch the birds. A single sparrow is coming nearer, and I kneel down. I always wondered why nobody noticed how intelligent they are; I mean, their brain is as big as a bubble-gum, and they manage it to steal the bread from the much bigger pigeon.
The small, grey bird comes nearer and nearer until it's only a few centimetres away from my feet.
"Hello.", I whisper and smile.
"Tchirp", is the answer. They only can say this: Tchirp. Sparrows can't sing like blackbirds. They use the same call, all time. But they can express so much with this single word, much more than I can express with my language...I always thought that I understand them a little.
"Don't be scared." I put my hand to the tiny creature who watches me full of suspicion. But then, it jumps on my hand.
I stay silent – every sudden movement would frighten it.
"Maybe you can tell me what's wrong with me?", I ask.
"Tchirp!", for me it sounds like a Yes. "Tchirp?"
"I am depressed, but I don't know why.", I tell him, and he seems to listen.
"Why am I so fascinated by you? Did you hypnotise me?", I chuckle.
"Tchirp!"
"Awww, well, that's really helping me.", I begin to enjoy this conversation.
"Ahm...Mimi?", a voice asks carefully, but not carefully enough. My little friend flies away, and I look sadly after him and sigh.
"Yes?", I get up and brush the dirt away. Then I turn around. It's Matt. "Oh, hi Matt....Haven't seen you for a long time."
"Well, I am kinda busy right now. But Mimi, what's wrong with you? I met Sora, and she was really worried about you!"
"There's nothing.", I sigh, "You know how Sora is; she always cares for everyone and worries like a mother."
"But she never worries without a reason."
I shrug. What can I say? Another person who won't understand me.
"And why do you prefer talking with birds instead with your friends?"
Oh no, he listened to my little 'conversation'. Now he will think that I am mad and tell it everyone...Mad-Mimi... "It's not your problem!", I say rude and walk away. He follows me. "Why not? I am your friend."
"You wouldn't understand.", I bite on my lips.
"How do you know that when you never tried it to tell me?"
"I know it."
"Oookay, Mimi Tachikawa knows everything, not? She's so perfect that she doesn't need the help of her friends, or what!", now he's really angry.
"You wouldn't take me serious.", I stare into his amazing blue eyes....strange, these eyes remind me of bird-eyes...the same intelligent, but caring look.
"No one does.", with these last words I leave him, too, and walk away.
Great. Now I hurt two of my best friends. That's really a wonderful day.
*
"I'm home", I yell and walk to my room.
I don't want to speak with my parents, not now. I am too angry, too upset.
Am I angry about the others or about myself? Probably both.
Like everyday the birds sing in front of the window. But today I don't want to hear them. I slam the window. "Let me in peace!"
And I sit down in a corner of my room, head in the arms, softly crying.
I become more and more tired....
It's the same empty street again.
This time it's really empty....no humans, no birds.
Only the little girl.
She's there, waiting, and I know that she waited for me. That she is me.
But how can she be me when I am here?
"Because every person has two 'self's' .", she answers my thought question.
"What do you mean with that?"
"I am the other side of you, the side you've hidden for so long time. The Bird-lover. The Serious. The Caring and Thoughtful Mimi.
The Mature Mimi."
"Mature?"
"Your child days will be over soon, and you have to realise some important things about the life – and yourself."
"You mean, I have to become an adult??"
"You can't call it this way....I would call it that 'the time is ready for a change'. And that you need it."
"Oh."
I am silent. Ready for a change? Is this the reason why I feel so depressed... strange... misunderstood?
"But why do you tell me that?", I want to know. "Does everyone have such...dreams?"
"No, this is your special way to deal with the whole situation."
"Mine?"
"Every single person handle things his own way. You loved birds, so a force deep inside of you involved them. And I am the person you wish to be – sometimes – so you dreamed of me."
"Hey, I never wished to be a little child!"
"But you wished that you could talk serious. That you could tell about the way you feel about birds. That you could be yourself."
She is right. Yeah, every word which she – I - say(s) is right.
"But...", I want to ask a last question, but she has already disappeared without any track. I sigh. Maybe it wouldn't help me a lot to ask...I mean, I ask myself then, how can I get a good answer?
I yawn.
And find myself yawning in the corner of my room. I blink. This is the second time I fall asleep in the afternoon. I am getting old....
I decide to go out a little. I am too confused to make homework; a little bit fresh air won't harm.
"Mum, I am going for a walk.", I speak to the door in the kitchen where my mother is standing. She looks out of the door: "Alone?" "Sure." "Please be careful!" I roll my eyes. Why are mothers always like this? "I will be okay, Mum, only a short walk in the park.", I yell and leave the house.
What's the meaning of this weird dream? Maybe I should tell my problems to someone. Maybe that's a part of....becoming mature. But it's so difficult...and there's still the fear of being hurt. The other way round....If you have always fear, then you can never love. No risk, no fun?
"Tchirp?"
"Ah, it's you again!", I laugh, looking down at my little grey friend. It's the same like before, I recognise him. People say always that one bird is similar to another (especially sparrows), but that's wrong. They are individual, like us.
"Tchirp."
He seems to be very excited, and a few seconds later I see the reason. It's grey, small and obviously female. "Oh, you have a wife? How nice for you.", I watch the sweet couple. "My congratulations!"
"Tchirp!"
"You're welcome!"
They both fly around me, chirping happily and I have to smile when I see their luck. Their life is so easy. No weird dreams, no stress, no school, no depressions.
Just living.
They fly away, leaving me there.
Alone.
And it begins to rain. That's so typical, you feel depressed and then it has to rain, too...as if your sad mood wouldn't be bad enough.
The best thing: I am here in my T-shirt, and it gets cold!
These last days could be cut out of the calendar, really!
Soaking wet, I manage it to reach my home. What a terrible day! I spend the rest of the day in drying my hair and my clothes, then I try to make some homework, but I can't concentrate. It's really hard to think for a solution in maths when you always see birds before your inner eyes.
END OF PART TWO
And, what did you think about it? It's senseless, how I said, and nothing big happens. I decided that I will bring a little bit more romance into it in the next parts....probably Mimato (I am writing a seperate Mimoe story...let's see how it will work!). I don't know why I write such a...bird...story. I like birds, but well....
At least it's something different!
I am sorry for grammatical errors....I am German, how you know, and learn English in school. (And French, I hate it, it's so dificult!!!! Does anyone has French as a subject? Parlez vous francais? ARGH! This language is soooo difficult with all the spelling things...Je détèste ca ---I have no cedille on my keyboard.) Okay, that doesn't belong here... I am always digressing.
And when you have any ideas about the next part, let me hear them, okay?
:) Kaeera
