Title: No More Gifts
By: Xanderholic
Description: In the aftermath of tragedy, one man struggles to go on (The Gift Spoilers. Xander's POV). Mostly B/X, Some X/A.
Spoilers: Pretty much everything up until the brilliant 100th episode, The Gift.
Relationships: Mostly B/X, some X/A, W/T
Rating: PG-13. Doesn't seem too bad now, but it'll be PG-13 by the next chapter, and maybe even R later on.
Distrubution: Feel free to put this fic on your site. I'd love to see ppl enjoy it enough to do it. The only thing I ask, is if you do put it on your site, send an email over to jerichoholic@extremesurvival.net giving me the link to you site so I can check it out.
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, or any of the characters within her universe. They all belong to the evil genious, Joss Whedon, and the bastards at Mutant Enemy ;). Please don't sue me, all I own is a pencil, a piece of paper, and a wild imagination. ;) :D
Author's Notes: Remember, feedback is the window to the soul. Well, that's full of shit, but it's still really nice to read that ppl like your fics. Anyhow, this story, is the product of an insane B/X shipper who is guessing how the hell Xander copes after "the death". Ever since the conclusion of The Gift, everybody has been writing stories about the aftermath of it. 99% of those stories are from Spike or Dawn's perspective. What's shocked me, is I have not found one fic about the guy who was probably the most effected, next to Dawn, Xander. Buffy was his best friend, and his first love, and she dies, and everyone forgets about their entire past, and how Xander will probably feel about all this. That's where I come in. This is just the prologue to what I am hoping to become a long, and good series. Starts just as Buffy has fallen back to the earth and the gang gathered around her in the gift. denotes thoughts of every other character besides Xander. * * denotes word emphases. [ ] denotes flashbacks.
No More Gifts
I'm in love with Buffy Summers.
I know what you're thinking. What about Anya? I thought you loved her. Well that is also true. I truly love Anya with all my soul.
But I am still in love with Buffy.
I tried to put her behind me. I tried to deny it. I tried to move on. But Buffy will always hold my heart, even in death.
As I think, I am looking at the body of my first love. I can barely move. I can barely think. The only thing in my mind right now is the fact that I have finally relised the truth no matter how much I have attempted to put it behind me, and move on, in the last few years
["You Love Her," Angel says while looking directly into my eyes. It isn't a question, it's straight out statement.
"Don't You?"]
Then, relization kicks in. I didn't save her. After all these years of trying to protect her, I failed her. I think that was all that kept me going for the last few years. The fact that she depended on me, that she trusted me to help her till the end. And, I failed her.
["Buffy's White Knight. It must just kill you that I got there first."]
I don't know what to do. I don't think I can live without her. Normally, at this time, I would spew out a witty comment, trying to calm the air. That is my defense mechinism. And after that, I'd probably do something stupid, to take out my pain. But, I can't even do those. I am frozen. I can finally think again, but I can't move. I can barely even breathe. I am only able to do things that my body naturely does for me.
["Whenever I'm only, and afraid, I just think, 'What Would Buffy Do?'. You're my hero"]
She depended on me. She needed me to bring her back. I was there for her last time. But this time I wasn't. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I don't even know if I can survive, I don't know if I WANT TO survive. Without her, I just feel like a part of me is missing. Things will never be the same again. And I'm not sure I want to go on without her...
By: Xanderholic
Description: In the aftermath of tragedy, one man struggles to go on (The Gift Spoilers. Xander's POV). Mostly B/X, Some X/A.
Spoilers: Pretty much everything up until the brilliant 100th episode, The Gift.
Relationships: Mostly B/X, some X/A, W/T
Rating: PG-13. Doesn't seem too bad now, but it'll be PG-13 by the next chapter, and maybe even R later on.
Distrubution: Feel free to put this fic on your site. I'd love to see ppl enjoy it enough to do it. The only thing I ask, is if you do put it on your site, send an email over to jerichoholic@extremesurvival.net giving me the link to you site so I can check it out.
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy, or any of the characters within her universe. They all belong to the evil genious, Joss Whedon, and the bastards at Mutant Enemy ;). Please don't sue me, all I own is a pencil, a piece of paper, and a wild imagination. ;) :D
Author's Notes: Remember, feedback is the window to the soul. Well, that's full of shit, but it's still really nice to read that ppl like your fics. Anyhow, this story, is the product of an insane B/X shipper who is guessing how the hell Xander copes after "the death". Ever since the conclusion of The Gift, everybody has been writing stories about the aftermath of it. 99% of those stories are from Spike or Dawn's perspective. What's shocked me, is I have not found one fic about the guy who was probably the most effected, next to Dawn, Xander. Buffy was his best friend, and his first love, and she dies, and everyone forgets about their entire past, and how Xander will probably feel about all this. That's where I come in. This is just the prologue to what I am hoping to become a long, and good series. Starts just as Buffy has fallen back to the earth and the gang gathered around her in the gift. denotes thoughts of every other character besides Xander. * * denotes word emphases. [ ] denotes flashbacks.
No More Gifts
I'm in love with Buffy Summers.
I know what you're thinking. What about Anya? I thought you loved her. Well that is also true. I truly love Anya with all my soul.
But I am still in love with Buffy.
I tried to put her behind me. I tried to deny it. I tried to move on. But Buffy will always hold my heart, even in death.
As I think, I am looking at the body of my first love. I can barely move. I can barely think. The only thing in my mind right now is the fact that I have finally relised the truth no matter how much I have attempted to put it behind me, and move on, in the last few years
["You Love Her," Angel says while looking directly into my eyes. It isn't a question, it's straight out statement.
"Don't You?"]
Then, relization kicks in. I didn't save her. After all these years of trying to protect her, I failed her. I think that was all that kept me going for the last few years. The fact that she depended on me, that she trusted me to help her till the end. And, I failed her.
["Buffy's White Knight. It must just kill you that I got there first."]
I don't know what to do. I don't think I can live without her. Normally, at this time, I would spew out a witty comment, trying to calm the air. That is my defense mechinism. And after that, I'd probably do something stupid, to take out my pain. But, I can't even do those. I am frozen. I can finally think again, but I can't move. I can barely even breathe. I am only able to do things that my body naturely does for me.
["Whenever I'm only, and afraid, I just think, 'What Would Buffy Do?'. You're my hero"]
She depended on me. She needed me to bring her back. I was there for her last time. But this time I wasn't. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I don't even know if I can survive, I don't know if I WANT TO survive. Without her, I just feel like a part of me is missing. Things will never be the same again. And I'm not sure I want to go on without her...
