Chapter Two of 'The pounding of an unbeating heart'

"Lord my body has been a good friend. But I won't need it, when I reach the end."--Cat Stevens


The streets were deserted as Reed grabbed Tzevi's arm and helped him to his feet,
albeit somewhat violently. Tzevi was upset with the obvious breach of the masquerade; if
anyone had been hiding in the alleys they would have seen fangs, blood, and Reed's terrible
discipline. Reed led Tzevi two blocks through a more crowded street and down to an empty
alleyway behind a decrepit apartment building.

"Reed." Tzevi hissed when Reed pushed him against the brick wall and put his arms out
on either side of Tzevi's head "What are you doing here? Why didn't you die? And why did
you do that to that werewolf?"

Reed laughed and shook his head, as if they were engaging in casual conversation
"Please ask questions one at a time from now on, I can't answer them all at once. But...I'm
here because I need your help, I didn't die because you didn't kill me, and that werewolf was
going to kill you had I not been there." He took one hand away and ran it through his silvery
hair, grinning at Tzevi. In a past life, Reed's grin would have made Tzevi weak in the knees,
when he still retained feelings for him.

The night was damp, the alleyway impossibly dirty, as Reed drew closer to him as if he
meant to kiss him. Tzevi looked around, feeling cornered "You need my help?" he asked,
bewildered, wanting to break away but Reed's presence keeping him glued to his spot on the
wall. He thought he saw shadows chasing each other through the alleyway, and he quivered
slightly, but when he blinked they were gone. "How could I possibly help you Reed?"

Now it was Reed's turn to be paranoid as he glanced around to be sure no prying ears
were listening to their conversation, then he pulled up the sleeve over his left wrist and Tzevi saw
the glyph of the Wyrm stamped in black on the tender flesh people used for shredding and
shedding their despairs.

"I've been tainted." Reed said through gritted teeth "And I've been attracted the
attention of every mutt from here to Denver."

"If you needed my help, Reed." Tzevi spoke in a slightly condescending voice "Then
why did you send me a death threat? Why not just ask?"

Reed was silent for a moment, and Tzevi shifted uncomfortably in his spot, unnerved by
Reed's closeness. Whether or not Tzevi could bring himself to try and kill him once more, he
couldn't stand the thought of coming in bodily contact with the monster.

"Because otherwise you would have ignored me, if I told you I needed my help, you
would have laughed and ignored me, or thought it was a setup. This way, with your feathers
ruffled, you'd venture out of your little den to see if you would find me, then I could convince
you that you should help me, face to face." He stared in Tzevi's eyes, nearly hypnotizing him
"Because no matter how much you hate to admit it, we once had feelings for each other."

"That was when we were humans, Reed, lovers...not immortal enemies." Tzevi looked
away, feeling his eyes sting as if Reed had drilled holes through them.

"We were pawns, Tzevi." Reed interjected "Our hate is not our own, but our sires. And
you know that!" he told him, his voice rising above normal volume letting in a hint of desperation
that he was not used to showing.

"While that may have held true in the past, when we were young, it is no longer
legitimate. We are enemies because we have driven ourselves to be enemies. Our sires have
died, we are no longer ordered around by them, yet we still hate each other's guts. I did things
that I am not proud of, as I'm sure you have too. Still...these are deep wounds, Reed, ones that
may never be healed." Tzevi shook his head "We may have been pawns, and perhaps we still
are, but there is one thing for sure that we are not and will never be, which is lovers, or even
friends. My hatred for the Sabbat and my hatred towards Tzimisces have been taken out on
you, my hatred for Kindred and my hatred for our spoiled love is taken out on you, because
you are the only outlet of my anger that I can grasp. As I cannot demolish the Sabbat or your
clan, I cannot wipe out every kindred including myself and I cannot erase the memories that I
had with you, so fresh in my brain, but there is one thing I can get rid of, you. So what makes
you think I'd want to help you?"

"What happened to you, Tzevi?" Reed asked, a hint of sadness "This is not the man I
remember..."

"What happened to me, Reed, what happened to me?" Tzevi was on the verge of being
enraged "I died, that's what happened, I died and was reborn as a monster, I am not the man
you remember because I am not a man at all, simply a damned creature that lives from day to
day with no sense of purpose." Tzevi looked up at him, no longer intimidated "You are not the
same either, if you remember correctly. You're as much a monster as I am; you do the same
things every night. You do not even look the same, while you retain the same features you had
as a mortal, they seem to have been perfected a great deal, worked on, so that you can hide
behind that mask of perfection and shed your tears of blood, which is all you can cry now."

The last part escaped Tzevi's lips in an almost mocking manner, his lips forming a slight
sneer that disappeared when Reed looked away, obviously upset. Tzevi had hit a raw nerve
within Reed's fragile psyche, and Tzevi knew that, knew that that he had hit him with the only
thing that could possibly make the vampire cry.

"Stop it, Tzevi..." Reed said quietly, hoarsely. Tzevi looked up to see bright red stains
upon his cheeks, leaking from his closed eyes, flooding past his long black eyelashes.

Tzevi faltered, Reed's tears jarring Tzevi off of his soapbox. "Reed...?" he asked
hesitantly, after a moment "Are you all right?"

"I'm FINE!" Reed erupted, his eyes snapping open and glaring at him through steely
blue eyes "I am perfectly fine, Tzevi, as I always have been. What a fool I was, to think that you
would want to help me? Of course not, you believe so firmly that you do not feel that you have
actually twisted around your confusion and fear to create that monster you hate. And since you
believe that you are one, you think that all other vampires are abominations as well, who have
not the capacity to love and feel."

Reed wiped a tear away from his eye, continuing "But let me just inform you on
something that has escaped your notice, Tzevi. Every single one of those vampires out there, no
matter how old or young, feel. Feeling is a part of humanity, and since we were all once humans,
we cannot shed ourselves fully of that one unifying artifact. Those that have believed that
nonsense probably only accepted it do to stereotypes and consistent drilling from their sires.
Vampires feel, we are just too afraid to show it. Afraid of our weakness when we are supposed
to be without, afraid of being laughed at and mocked by other vampires for not conceding to
their emotions and hiding behind a facade of unfeeling and evil.

"But the pressing question is, why do we let ourselves go like that? Easy. Because we
are weak. We laugh and condescend humans because we believe ourselves to be the superior
race, but in actuality we are the weaker vessels. Because we are so adamantly afraid of
ourselves that we lock it away deep within. What else could possibly explain this absence of
feeling? This hatred of love? Nothing. Because it exists, Tzevi! Within every Brujah, Nosferatu,
Lasombra, Malkavain, Gargoyle and even Baali it dwells, starved, forgotten and half-dead, but
it lingers. You cannot rid yourself entirely of that humanity; it is as much a part of you as that bag
of flesh you carry around.

"So? Do you laugh at me for breaking down in front of you? Mock me for giving
leeway to these begrudged feelings? Do you regard me as a weakling because I still feel? Or do
you maintain that monsters, children of Caine, feel nothing. Because if you do, you are simply
lying to yourself. If you listened to what I said then you know I'm right."

"Reed..." Tzevi opened his mouth to speak, but since the first time he had died he was
speechless, without words of wisdom, superiority, or skepticism to give out. He watched Reed
trembling slightly, so vulnerable, and wanted to wrap his arms around him. An act that was all
too familiar yet alien just the same. But he was afraid to move, to lift a finger, afraid to admit
what Reed had just mustered the courage to do, that he still had feelings too. I really am weak;
Tzevi noted with disgust, what do I have to fear? Reed? Certainly not...and there is no one
else around.

Reed was torn up inside from what he had just admitted, just revealed to someone who
used to be his lover but might as well now have been one of the Sabbat leaders he despised so
much. The only thing that had kept him going was the hope that he and Tzevi would reunite;
somehow, the only thing that had kept them from ripping out his heart was his feeling of power
and invulnerability. Now he had neither, and there was no way that he could survive now.
Reed reached down and produced a thin 7-inch blade from the inside of his combat
boot, taped in there, should he find himself in a situation where he couldn't use his powers.
Tzevi flinched, and his hands flew up to his own heart protectively, as for a brief second Tzevi
believed Reed was going to stab him. But Reed couldn't have hurt Tzevi, even if he wanted to
because of all the things he had said, instead he tilted his head back and held the blade up to his
own throat.

"To hell with this life and all it's damned..." Reed whispered quietly, and the delicate
skin of his neck had just begun to sever when Tzevi lunged at him, wrestling with him for
possession of the knife. They struggled for a moment, but finally Tzevi triumphantly pried the
blade from Reed's hand and threw it as far as he could. Wrapping his arms around Reed he
nearly wailed, his eyes stinging with the sensation of tears.

Reed sat up and let himself be comforted by Tzevi's shaking body. He let his mind
block out everything, the cold, the stinging in his neck, the unbeating heart in his chest, and the
dangers that loamed nearby. Just slipped into the near mist where nothing existed except him
and Tzevi. Only in his world they were still alive. Still just two happy callow kids who knew not
the impending troubles that awaited them.

Tzevi huddled Reed close to him, his fingers tracing the crimson line that had already
begun automatically heal itself. It wasn't serious, though when Tzevi had leapt for the knife he
had been afraid it was a fatal cut. It was tiny, and Tzevi kissed it softly, the blood staining his
lips, knowing his eyes must have made it seem bigger then it actually was.

Turning his head, Reed looked up at Tzevi, slightly confused as Tzevi smiled down at
him affectionately. He was not prepared for the words that followed, had not expected them
even if he had expected Tzevi's help.

"I still love you Reed..." Tzevi whispered, running his fingers through Reed's silvery hair
"Nothing will ever change that."

"I still love you too." Reed smiled, and let Tzevi kiss him on the lips. It was not the same
as when they had been alive, their lips were no longer warm and their breath no longer minged,
and Reed felt the tips of Tzevi's fangs with his tongue, though he knew he needn't worry about
them. Still, the familiar sense of completion, of doing something that was meant for you, made
Reed happy.

"So what do we do now?" Tzevi asked as he broke the kiss, looking at Reed as if he
expected him to have the answer.

Reed chuckled a little and shook his head. "Tzevi...I had no idea this was going to
happen, what makes you think I'd have a plan?"
Tzevi shrugged and asked tentatively "Maybe we could run away together. See the
world without worrying about the Sabbat or the Camarilla."

"What part of the world isn't inhabited with vampires? Beings that would hunt us down
and kill us, or superstitious villagers that would stake us before we had a chance to defend
ourselves." Reed wanted so badly to be able to satisfy that bit of hope that was evident in
Tzevi's voice, but he had to think realistically. Living in a fantasy world had screwed them over
this far, if they could jerk themselves back to reality maybe they could salvage something of
themselves and be able to live together somewhat happily.

"Perhaps I could convince the Prince that you are different from other Tzimisce's...and
that you should be granted protection from other Camarilla members." Tzevi stroked Reed's
cheek with his finger softly, trying to scrounge up some possible way that they could be together
safely.

Reed sighed and hugged Tzevi tighter, shaking his head sadly "No, Tzevi. Even if the
Prince did lose his mind and grant me protection, I'd still be hunted and hated. Besides...my
views do not coincide with the Camarillas. This has nothing to do with my sire or my clan...but
as a person with individual views. To me, the Camarilla's attempt to preserve the Masquerade
is just wasted time, time that could be used for more resourceful things. They are all just pawns
for the antediluvians, and when the tides of Jyhad wash over them they'll find themselves without
a life preserver in the salt-water abyss. Whether or not you believe this it is what I believe, and I
would not belong in the sect, even if they wanted me to join."

The skittering of pebbles caught Tzevi's attention. He looked around in the darkness,
but saw nothing, though a small hum rose slowly to the quiet evil snickering from the depths of
the shadows. They seemed to melt out of those shadows, nightmares created from terror, evil,
and dark. Creatures that could not have been imagined in even the most disturbed child's mind,
flesh dripping off their bodies like melted candle wax, beaten, bedraggled once-human monsters
of all shapes and sizes. Some of them had beady red eyes that could pierce through your cloth
and skin and see exactly what made you shake; others had no eyes at all. There were a few
were the skin sagged from their eye sockets so they looked hopelessly sad, lost in their own
despair in a violent way. One thing united them in all their horror, the desire to kill and feed. It
hung in the air thick like a wet fog that filled your brain and sucked the oxygen from your lungs.

"Formoris?" Tzevi exclaimed, surprised, though not all at once frightened. Fear does not
come easily to one a hundred years dead. He looked down at Reed, who's own eyes shined
with fear, but Tzevi detected something more held in those deep unending pools of blue.
Knowledge.

"You knew..." Tzevi said quietly, regarding his love sadly. The disappointment in
Tzevi's voice was all too evident, and Reed turned his head away, ashamed.

"Yes..." Reed muttered, "I knew. I am so sorry."

Tzevi broke away from his embrace with Reed and shook his head, unbelieving.

"They're here for me, aren't they?"
"Tzevi..." Reed started, but Tzevi cut him off.
"Tell me you selfish bastard! This is no time to sugarcoat anything or try to make
yourself out the good guy. Tell me! They're here for me, aren't they? Aren't they!?"

"Yes, they are." Reed whispered "But it's not what I wanted! I swear! Honestly. The
Wyrm...they're here because of the unspoken promise of shed blood. Please believe me, I had
no idea I'd feel like this for you again. But...you got here and surprised me." He tried to reach
out to touch Tzevi's shoulder, but Tzevi stepped away. "Tzevi!" Reed protested, "I love you! I
don't want this to happen! Please believe me!"

"How do you expect me to believe you?" Tzevi choked back crimson tears "You
could have told me..."

"I forgot..." Reed reached out again this time, but Tzevi did not shrink away as Reed
placed his arms around Tzevi's hips. He wanted so badly to go back into that peaceful mist, but
there was no ignoring the Formoris around that were licking their deformed lips hungrily.

"Is there any way out?" Tzevi asked, looking up at Reed. Reed remembered at once
the small timid Tzevi that he had used to know, the one that ran to him for safety even when they
were little children. Over the years his outer shell had hardened and he made it blatantly obvious
that he did not need Reed to be his savior. And yet here he was, possibly fifty years older then
he should have been, a little child lost within a ebony sea of nightmares, grasping desperately for
help.

"...They won't leave until they've fed." Reed said regretfully, mentally counting nearly
twenty blood-lusting wyrmlings.

Out of the undifferentiating cluster of melted wax, one of the taller ones stepped up. It
must have been the alpha of the pack, an air of dignity wafted from the decrepit form. It grinned,
sharp incisors poking every which way, insuring a very jagged gash wherever he chose to bite
into. Pus seemed to ooze from every pore on its repulsive face, deflated eyeballs sunk way
back in its skull and skin the color of a seasick turtle. It flexed its horrid claws, caked with dirt
and blood, then without warning it lunged at Tzevi.

Tzevi let out a cry of surprise and held up his hands in defense, feeling his impending
death and knowing there wasn't enough time to cast a spell to avert it.

-The grim reaper is misinterpreted as the spirit that takes your soul away, a
skeleton draped in cloth with a sickle, but I believe the Grim Reaper is whatever steals
your heart beat, whatever causes you to die. That could be a homicidal maniac, yourself,
a disease, or whatever...I don't know, but I think if I could choose I would be my own
grim reaper.-

Tzevi once recalled Reed saying when Tzevi had confronted him about his scars. But
what about me? His brain screamed, who would be your grim reaper? The monster that
first killed you and brought you back? Or the monster that's about to tear you to shreds?
It doesn't matter, a sour voice in the back of his head spoke up, and Tzevi thought it
sounded remarkably like his sire's, you're about to be a heap of bones in a matter of
seconds. Who gives a fuck what did it to you?

He waited, waited for the terrible pain and the poison seeping through his precious
blood. Waited to hear the sick wet shred he imagined his skin would sound like as it tore off the
bone. Finally after moments of unrest, Tzevi dared to open his eyes. What he saw partially
startled him, partially scared him, but also made him feel exhilarated. Reed was fending off every
single Formor attack as they lunged one at a time, as if in some RPG turn battle. Reed was
holding his own quite well, but he couldn't last forever, and Tzevi knew that.

"TZEVI! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!" Reed half screeched, half ordered, "I'll go!
Before they wise up and attack you too!"

Tzevi hesitated momentarily. He didn't want to be a wimp and run if there was the off
chance that Reed might need his help, but still his fighting skills were only mediocre, and he
might end up doing more harm then good.

Looking around to see if there was any adequate escape route, Tzevi noticed the
entrance to the alleyway was blocked of by Formoris, and god knew what was in the dark
corners of the nether end. He did note a garbage bin and a low hanging shingled roof, if he
could only jump high enough to reach it. Feeling ridiculous, like he was some part of a bad
James Bond film, Tzevi hopped atop the garbage can. After a few failed tries, where faulty
shingles slid off and broke apart on his head, Tzevi managed to get atop the roof, although
somewhat clumsily. The first drops of rain wet Tzevi's hair as he turned and positioned himself
on the slanted roof, watching the fight below.

A nervous feeling was constantly biting at the inside of Tzevi's stomach as he watched
Reed dart and dodge the Formori's clumsy attacks. They were like crumpling zombies; so
fragile they would break if they swung to hard. Looks were deceiving, however, and even
though Reed stopped momentarily to wave at Tzevi, Tzevi knew he was having a hard time
staying on his feet. When Reed smiled up at Tzevi, a silent reassurance that he was fine, Tzevi
smiled back, albeit a bit shakily.

Tzevi had just settled into the rhythm of the rain drizzling down on him in short sharp
needles, and of Reed dancing with the Formoris, and the full moon shining high overhead,
blocked by wisps of clouds. Then a piercing scream sliced through the night air and tunneled its
way into Tzevi's brain, ricocheting off of his skull and echoing over and over and over. That had
not been a Formori's scream; the cry of pain had been distinctly human. Tzevi watched with
despair through the wet cloth of night, to see the Formoris look at each other oddly and
scamper off. The wetness and the noise had startled them, and they had run off to leave only a
few bloody footprints and a crumpled form behind.

Warning signals went off in Tzevi's head, and as quickly as he could he slid off the roof.
He slipped halfway down the shingles, lost his balance and plummeted over the edge, landing
painfully on his head. His head fogged for a moment before it was able to clear itself, and then
Tzevi shakily got up to go see Reed, or what the Formoris had left of him.

Scraping off bits of gravel that had been imbedded in his cheek, Tzevi noticed one of
the smaller Formoris had stayed behind. Too young to be paranoid, it was hovering over Reed
until Tzevi kicked at it and it squealed and ran off. Blood bogged down the souls of Tzevi's
boots as he stood there, mesmerized by the sight of his lover lying there awkwardly in a dark
pool of scarlet. It was not even his blood that surrounded him, but the blood of those he killed
to survive, to live. It petrified Tzevi to think that blood just like that ran through his veins, blood
that when spilled, had an odd out of place quality, like it didn't belong.

Reed's clothes were shredded, soaked with blood, every inch of his body but his face
covered with scratch and bite marks that blistered with acid. Tzevi knew Reed must have tried
to save his face above anything else, and despite the depressing situation, Tzevi chuckled slightly
as he knelt by Reed and gingerly helped Reed's head into Tzevi's lap.
"You always were so vain." Tzevi said softly as he stroked the blood from Reed's face.

"Mmm..." Reed tried to speak, his voice hoarse and scratchy, he had to turn his head
to the side as blood spilled out of his mouth and his body went into convulsions. When the
coughs had died down, Reed looked back up at Tzevi, his lips glistening with water and blood.
"Just acknowledging what the rest of the world already knows." He said quietly, finishing off the
joke they had often shared when it came to Reed's obsession with his looks.

Tzevi gazed down at Reed lovingly, and saw a drop of red splatter against Reed's
cheek. He was startled but then realized he was crying. "Oh Reed..." Tzevi whispered, "What
am I going to do without you?"

"Something decent.that's all I ask for. Don't waste your life or I'll come back to haunt
you until you go insane."

"I'd like that." Tzevi's lower lip was quivering as held Reed to him "and I'm already
insane."

"I know...but you'd disturb even the Malkavains if I had my way." Reed smiled up at
him, eyes dulled with pain but still a beautiful sky blue.

"I love you so much, Reed." Tzevi sobbed and buried his face in the shreds that was left
of Reed's shirt "Please don't leave me."
Reed's hand lifted slightly, hovered a few inches off the ground as if he wanted to touch
Tzevi, to comfort him, but hadn't the energy to move it any more. Tzevi gingerly grasped Reed's
hand in his own and brought it to his cheek, brushing his fingertips gently over his own flesh. The
touch soothed Tzevi some, though not to the degree that Tzevi could stop shaking.

"We can save you..." Tzevi said meekly "I know there's a way. I can save you, you
can have my blood and then...and then..." his body was shaking again as he cried, new blood
being added to the pool around them, only this blood was salted over with the taste of tears.
Reed shook his head, a crooked smile gracing his beautiful face as he looked up at
Tzevi. "No, Tzevi. This is how it should be. I've lived a long unlife, despising every moment of it
except the moments when I could see your handsome face, masked in anger but still attractive.
Now I get to explore somewhere different, somewhere knew. Whether that place will be the
pits of hell or the clouds of heaven I'm not sure...but it'll be an adventure, won't it?" He sat up
some to kiss Tzevi's earlobe, trying to comfort him. "I've done too many evil things in this
world, not one that I'm proud of, but the least of which I'm worried about is being a childe of
Caine's."

"I'll miss you..." Tzevi croaked and Reed smoothed down his tangled raven black hair.

"We'll only be separated for a little while. When it's your time, I'll come back to get
you, alright?"

"Promise?" Tzevi sniffled, feeling like a little child who was torn up because his dad was
leaving on a weeklong business trip. Children, how refreshing their woes, how sad their
innocence, which becomes corrupt before too long.

"Promise." Reed nodded slowly, affirming it "I love you Tzevi, I always will. But I really
have to go..."
"No!" Tzevi cried out and hugged Reed tighter, as if it would somehow keep his soul in
his body "I love you too much to let you go Reed, too much to say goodbye."

"Then say aurevoir...or adios...or so long or something...because its too painful for me
to stick around much longer..."

Tzevi's body went ridge with protest, but a moment later he looked up at Reed's face,
so angelic and at peace with what was happening. Of course they both knew what death was
like, they had been through it once, but there was still something unnerving about its finality.

"Arrivi Derchi." Tzevi told him, quietly "In hopes that I'll see you again..."
"And you will, Tzevi, I promise."

Then Tzevi watched as the last bits of life drained out of Reed's body, a tiny satisfied
sigh escaping Reed's lips as his soul escaped to join the part of him that had died so long ago,
and Tzevi was alone. Alone with his fears, alone with his thoughts, alone with the rain and blood
and evil that still lurked in the corners.

He got up, expecting to his feelings to be a deadly mixture of sadness spiked with anger,
his lover had just died unnecessarily after all. However, looking up at the soft gray wisps of
clouds that floated by the moon but not daring cross paths with it, Tzevi only smiled softly.

-"Look at the stars, Reed!" Tzevi exclaimed excitedly when they reached the
secluded cabin in the country that Reed had spoken of.
"You can't see a skyline like that in the city, now can you?" Reed asked, wrapping
a warm arm around Tzevi's small shoulders "Now aren't you glad I brought you?"

"Mmhmm." Tzevi nodded and took Reed's hand. He led him over to a soft patch
of grass behind the cabin, where there was a great view of the full moon, and settled
down there with him.

"Do you think life will always be like this forever?" Tzevi asked later on, looking
up at Reed. Reed sighed and shrugged,
"Nothing lasts forever...Tzevi, you have to realize that. But we can make it last as
long as possible."-

Rain dribbled down Tzevi's forehead as he stood there lost in his own world. The rain
mixed with his tears and dripped into his slightly ajar lips, though the taste of bitter sweetness
was ignored by Tzevi, who only licked it away out of habit.

-"I hope we're never separated Reed."
"You're such a foolish child at times, Tzevi, of course we'll have to be separated
someday."
"Why can't you ever just flow along with me into my imaginary world? Where
nothing bad will ever happen and we'll be together...forever. Why must you pull me back
down to reality?"
"So you don't float away..."-

Quietly, Tzevi turned and walked down the alleyway, hearing the wet squish of his
boots against ground soaked with blood and water. Tzevi disappeared off into the night, alone
with his memories.

-End of Chapter 2-