I
unfortunately do not own DBZ/GT. It's sad, I know. I also do not own
the song "Killing Me Softly." I don't know who wrote it or
the music but Roberta Flack sings it.
Quick A/N:
REwrite of Part four cuz I ended it in here. Skip the
beginning if ya want cuz little is changed but the ending is sad. A
real tear-jerker for some. So I'll shut up now, but in case somebody
doesn't gets what I'm saying, this is the end!! Ciao
people!!
Killing Me Softly, Part Four (end)
by:
Ashley
Strumming my pain with his fingers,
singing
my life with his words,
killing me softly with his song,
killing
me softly with his song,
telling my whole life with his words,
killing me softly with his song
Gohan knocked
on Bra's door. "Hello? Bra, are you home? Bra?!" He called
again a few more times, getting louder with each knock. He twisted
the knob and was surprised that it turned. 'This isn't like her.
She never keeps the door open,' he thought a bit worried.
He
walked into the dark apartment. "Bra! Where are you?" He
was getting more paranoid that she didn't answer him. "Bra!"
he yelled from time to time. He bumped into a table while heading for
her room. 'Huh?' he thought when four envelopes fell off. He looked
at them and shoved them in his back pocket for later. His feet
finally found the right way to her room. He hesitated before knocking
on her bedroom door. 'Something does not feel right about this,'
he thought. "Bra, are you in there?" His only answer was a
dead silence. Carefully he pushed the door further open.
Gohan
looked around the fairly dim room. His eyes went across the large
canopy bed. "Bra? Is that you?" he half whispered.
Gohan
advanced towards the bed a little. He felt the frog jumping up and
down in his stomach waiting to be let out. "Bra?" he
whispered again. His eyes looked down at the small curled up form
mixed up in the black sheets. He reached for her body caressing it
lightly.
"Bra? Are you sleeping?" His breath grew
ragged and raspy. This was the same feeling he had when he felt Videl
slipping away from him. He rubbed her hand gently but pulled away
when he felt a warm, sticky, liquid on his hands. "What the..."
His eyes grew big when he saw the color of his hands. "Bra!!
Bra, wake up!!!"
Trunks rolled over to his side
when the phone rang. 'Who could be calling me this early?' He
felt Marron stir beside him, but he didn't pay attention to her. He
picked up the phone after the third ring. "Hello?"
Gohan
held the phone shakily in his hands as he tried to make out the words
to Trunks. He tried his best not to look at the barely breathing
person in his arms. "Trunks..."
Trunks wiped the
sleep from his eyes when he recognized the voice on the other line.
"Gohan? You don't sound right, is something wrong?"
He
stroked her hair and clenched his eyes shut. "Trunks, be at the
hospital as soon as you can. I can't talk for long because I think
she's slipping away from me."
Trunks began to panic
but not really knowing why. "Gohan, what's going on?!"
"I
really don't know. I-I... I think Bra stabbed herself and there's a
lot of blood loss. I'm on my way to the hospital right now. Talk to
you until then."
Before Trunks could respond to that,
the line went dead. He looked at the phone trying to piece together
what he just heard. "Oh shit," he mumbled under his
breath.
Marron rolled over. Her long blonde hair draped over
the two. "What was that all about?"
He sighed and
rose up off the bed. "I can't explain everything now, but I will
later. Bra stabbed herself. Gohan's taking her to the hospital. Call
your uncle and tell him to meet me there. I'll call my mom," he
said in a rush. He looked straight at her when he was off the bed. "I
want you to stay here with Carmen. Things are gonna get ugly and I
don't want you two around when that happens." He bent down and
kissed her forehead. "I'll try and be home before noon if things
are better." He grabbed some clothes and walked out of the
house.
Marron laid in bed thinking about what he just said.
'Why would she stab herself? What's going on?' she thought
while dialing her uncle's number. She gave him the details and hung
up afterwards. She looked at the clock and decided it was best going
to sleep until she knew the real trouble of her
sister-in-law.
Gohan paced the hallway of the
emergency rooms. When he arrived at the front desk with an almost
dead woman in his arms they took her away from him quickly. The
hospital aide shoved a bunch of forms in his face to fill out. He
filled out what he could and turned them in. All of that happened
thirty minutes ago.
'Where the hell is Trunks?! They won't
let me know anything about what's going on without him! I need to
know what's going on!'' He stopped his pacing for the first time
since he had gotten there to take a break. At the front desk he heard
someone mumble Bra's name and his head jerked in that direction
thinking that it was Trunks. What he saw was not what he
expected.
"What the hell are you doing
here?"
Juunana-gou turned in the direction of the
familiar but annoying voice of the person who took his girl away from
him. He looked at him for a while before turning around and sitting
in a chair in the corner.
Gohan seemed a little surprised that
he didn't make any comment, but there was no was no way he was going
to let this rest. "I'm talking to you? Is your battery dead or
is it that you just can't hear me?"
There was a deep sigh
from the other figure in the room. "I don't see the need to. I'm
here for the same reason you are. What else do I have to say?"
Gohan
looked at Juunana with a new shaded light. 'At least he cares for
her, but not the way that I do.' He hung his head not caring to
say anything else after that.
Trunks stumbled into the
hospital with a T-shirt and baggy jeans. He stopped at the desk to
ask for the update on his sister before heading to where Gohan was.
He looked around the room with a heavy stomach. He spotted his in-law
in a corner with a fixed look on the wall. He walked away quickly
from him, knowing that look in his eyes.
Gohan looked up to
see Trunks standing in front of him. A small smile came on his tired
face. At least now he would know how Bra was doing. "Is she any
better?"
Trunks felt his mouth go dry and hang off of his
jaw for a while. He regained his senses and looked over Gohan to
Juunana-gou. He had that same worried look in his eyes but it didn't
have as much emotion as Gohan's did. His eyes tore away from Juunana
back to Gohan. "Um, they just finished the operation on her
internal injuries. She had a hole in her stomach and tears in her
other organs. She's stable though, I think. They say if she makes it
through the next night, she'll live." He looked away from the
other two men. He couldn't believe the words that were coming out of
his mouth. He wasn't supposed to talk about his sister this way. Bra
had too much life in her, why did she do this?
Gohan
didn't blink. This was not happening. This was not happening to him!
'I just lost Videl. Why do I have to lose someone else when I just
got her! It's not fair!' he thought trying to suppress his anger,
grief, and sadness.
Juunana wasn't doing any better. It was
some time before he could turn away from Trunks. 'It wasn't
supposed to be this way. We were going to stay together forever. We
were going to have fun and just be together.'' His head fell into
his hands and he trembled slightly. He could care less about who saw
him in such a weak stage. He wanted her well and smiling again. 'I
don't care if she picks him. I just want her to never do anything
this stupid again,'' he thought. He raised his head up to look at
the other two men in the room. 'I really don't care if she picks
him. This is too close to losing her and I don't want to know what
it's really like if I actually did lose her.'' A small smile came
on his grief-stricken face. Even when she was near death, she made
him feel things that were not common for him.
He stared at
the tiled floor for some time before finally braking the dreadful
silence. "Does anyone know why she did what she did?" There
he finally asked the question that had been bugging him ever since he
found out about her condition.
Gohan wanted to slam his fist
into something. The same question had been running through his mind
since he found her blood covered body. He finally answered the
question after a few minutes. "I don't know why. When I found
her I found these letters on a table." He reached in his back
pocket to pull out the slightly bloody envelopes. He tossed one to
each of the men. He stared at the envelope in his hands. "She
planned this." It was more of a statement than a comment. He
turned the envelope over and looked at it. His smeared red
fingerprints shown lightly on the white paper. He looked at the
fingerprints before shoving the envelope back into his pocket.
Trunks looked at his friend with slight curiosity. "Why
didn't you rip open the letter? Don't you want to know what happened
to her?"
Gohan looked up to meet Trunks's eyes. They were
so much like hers. He shook his head to clear it. "I don't know
why. I guess it's the same reason you're not opening yours."
Trunks
looked at Gohan with a blank face for a second. "No, it's not,"
he said quietly. He sat down heavily in an empty seat. He turned the
envelope over and over again as if to examine it. "I know why
she did it. I think he does too." He looked down at his hands to
escape from looking at Gohan.
Juunana went through the
letter quickly. He folded it back up and stuffed it back into the
envelope. He looked up when he heard Trunks's comment directed
towards him. "Hn?"
Gohan looked at the two. "What
are you two not telling me? Is it about Bra? What's going
on?"
Juunana sighed in disgust at the monkey. 'Just
when I actually thought he had some sense,' he thought. "Of
course it's about Bra. Who else would we be talking about?"
Gohan
ignored the cyborg and focused on Trunks. "You know why she did
what she did?"
Trunks nodded. "She's afraid of
bonds," he said like it was obvious.
Juunana held a hand
to his head to prevent an oncoming headache. 'I can't believe I am
stuck with these two,' he thought irritated by the others in the
room. "Did she ever tell you that? She would rather kill herself
than go through a bond."
Gohan felt his blood go dry. His
skin paled and his eyes seemed dilated. It was some time before he
could react from the shock. 'He's kidding. Bra's not like that.
Even he should know better.' His shocked face was replaced by a
smile. "You're kidding. Bra's not like that. She would have told
me if she was."
Juunana was again taken on how stupid the
other man was. 'If she does pick him over me, I want an
explanation. It's not possible for someone to be this stupid.' He
shook his head. "Idiot. Do you honestly think that's a thing
people should be telling others?"
Gohan looked at Trunks
for another answer. When he received nothing he shook his head sadly.
"You two are wrong. She has never been that way around me. I
would have known!"
"And just how long would that
have been? You two were only together for a week." Juunana rose
up off of his seat. This man was getting on his nerves. He walked
casually over to him with a straight face. "She's been that way
for about as long as I have known her. It started when your dumbass
brother dumped her. Then other problems that she probably wouldn't
have told you. When her mother didn't show up at her graduation, it
didn't help her any."
Gohan stared up in horror at
Juunana. "You're not serious. She would have told me. I know she
would have."
"When things like that happen, it's not
something to be talking about. Since you know her so well, you should
know she hates pity. Don't think about it. She doesn't, so why should
you?"
Gohan trembled slightly. "I can't help but
feel sorry about her! I just found out the girl I love is suicidal
because she's getting too close to me. What the hell am I suppose to
feel? I even feel responsible for why she's here."
Trunks
intervened between the two men. He shot a look at Juunana to let him
know that he would handle this. He turned away from the cyborg to the
older man. "Gohan, did Bra ever explain the bonds to
you?"
'What the hell does bonds have to do with her
being in the hospital?' he thought. "What?!"
"I
don't know much about them, because I've never been bonded, but they
scare the hell out of her. They make you vulnerable if your mate is
hurt in any way. You care too much and I guess they make you soft. I
guess that's why she did what she did so she wouldn't be bonded to
you." Trunks kept his eyes locked on his face.
Gohan
frowned and shook his head. "You mean, if I wasn't bonded to
her, she would be okay?"
"Basically yeah,"
Juunana said. He smirked at Trunks. 'He couldn't have possibly
thought that I would leave that alone.'
Trunks turned
around after glaring at his in-law. "It's not your fault
entirely. It happens to everyone who bonds. Don't blame yourself.
It's not your fault."
Gohan ignored him. It was his
fault. There was no way around it. It was his fault she was here. It
was his fault she stabbed herself. It was his fault that they bonded.
He looked up to meet Trunks's eyes. "Whatever," he said a
bit drowsily. There was nothing Trunks could say that would change
his mind. "She's not going to die, is she?"
Trunks
was silent for a few minutes before finally answering. "They
don't know. We'll know later today."
Bulma
speeded towards the hospital. 'I knew I should have tried harder
for her forgiveness! It's all my fault! I should have been there for
her! I never should have neglected her. She's in there because of me.
I just know it! How can she forgive me if she's dead! Why did she do
this!' Her thoughts were racing around her head as she pulled
into a parking place. She jumped out the car and ran to the ER rooms.
Bulma looked around the waiting room for her son. She spotted
him pacing near two other men. "Trunks!"
Trunks
turned at the sound of her voice. A bitter smile came across his
face. 'She better be here for the right reasons and not for her
own,' he thought as he walked to his mother to give her a hug.
"Trunks! Is everything okay with her? She's not as bad
as I think she is, is she?"
Trunks tightened his grasp on
his mother. He smiled slightly. 'At least she's here for the right
reasons.' He sighed deeply before answering her. "We really
don't know yet."
A young man in scrubs walked into
the waiting room. "May I see the 'Bra Briefs' party?" He
watched as four strangers walked over to him. He flipped through some
pages in his folder. "She's still critical. Anything can happen
now, so we just got to wait for the outcome. You can see her but she
can slip into and out of a coma. She's lost a lot of blood and we're
trying to find her blood type but it's hard. She's had this bad
cough, but we don't know if it's worth looking into yet. If you would
like to see her, follow me." He tucked a few loose papers into
his folder before walking off.
The four looked at each
other speechless that his was really happening to them. Without
saying a word, the four followed the intern to find out the outcome
of Bra.
The intern slowed down when he came to a set
of doors. "Let me check on her, before you go in." He
opened the door and stepped in as quietly as he could. When he came
out he changed the name charts on the outside of the door. "She's
still critical but I think she can see visitors. She's talking, but
not well. I think she asked for someone named Juu or Juuann." He
looked at the four for a reaction. When a teenager with shoulder
length black hair stepped forward he moved aside. "I think she's
not doing as well as I would like her to so, I only want one at a
time to see her." He filled out something else on her chart
before leaving the four.
Juunana waited until the fake
doctor was out of sight. 'At least she wants to see me first. That
means something, doesn't it?' He shook his head and opened the
door cautiously before closing it behind him.
"Bra?"
he whispered. He walked closer to her. There were tubes and machines
all around her. She looked so small lying there in the bed that it
was sad. Juunana swallowed the rising lump in his throat and inched
his way closer to her. "Bra?"
Bra felt like
crap. She swallowed the rising blood coming up her throat. Her head
leaned to the left. 'If I ever survive this...'
Juunana
looked at her with an unusual pain shooting up his back. He ignored
the pain and stepped closer to her. When he saw her up close the pain
came harder. He shook it off as fatigue and wiped a few stray locks
out of her face. "You are so stupid. What were you
thinking?"
'I did do this for a reason. It's not
my fault I fell for two guys. One sweetheart and one arrogant
jackass. If I had my strength, I'd kill you Juu-kun,' she
thought. Her eyes glazed up in a weak effort to glare up at him. She
struggled to sit up on her elbows and look up at him. "Juunana,"
she coughed out. She pushed her away from him when he tried to help
her. "Leave me alone," she wheezed.
Juunana took
his hands away from her like he had been burned. "Bra," he
said sternly before pushing her back to the bed.
Bra hit
her pillows hard and looked up at him with glazed eyes. "Don't
baby me." She struggled to sit up to prove her point that she
didn't give a damn about what he said.
Juunana sighed
deeply. How was he supposed to watch after her when the doctors had
given her a heavy dosage of girlpower? "I'm not trying to baby
you. I want you to get better and never do something as stupid as
this ever again."
"I didn't ask for your
help."
A low, frustrated sigh escaped his mouth. This
meeting was going nowhere. "Why would you call me here, if you
didn't want me to come?"
Bra tried to exhale but a
tired and sickly cough came out. 'I just wanted to see if what I
did mattered anything at all to you! You self-centered jackass! Why
can't you at least drop the 'I am better than this' attitude when I
am on my damn deathbed!' She glazed over at him again and tried
her best at a glare. "I just wanted to know if it mattered to
you."
He crossed his arms and snorted at her comment.
"You know it matters. I wouldn't have came if it didn't."
His
answer didn't satisfy Bra. "So why are you here? Are you here
because you want to or because you need to?"
"I need
to be here! Dammit Bra, what the hell you want me to do now? Go get a
knife and shove through my guts? I came because..." He had to
catch himself. He almost told her. That would have given her too much
power if he told her now, despite her condition.
Bra's heart
monitor increased then went into a steady pattern jumping every now
and then. After some time she turned her glassy eyes away from him.
"Just forget it."
Juunana wondered briefly if he
made her upset. He shrugged off the unusual feeling knowing that if
he did, she would have told him. "I'll come again tomorrow."
He kissed her forehead and left her room.
Bra wheezed again.
She almost laughed at his comment. 'Not if I die first,' she
thought bitterly.
When Juunana exited out of the room he
looked at the door a a second before turning around to face the
others. He made sure to keep a close check on his emotions. Something
just told him that things didn't go the way he wanted. He turned
around and when his eyes caught Gohan's he smirked.
Gohan
stopped pacing to catch Juunana's eyes. His frowned deepened at his
haughty smirk. 'What the hell went on in there?!' When the
cyborg was out of sight he turned to the other two. "I'm going
in there."
Bulma dropped back down into her seat. She had
known Gohan long enough to recognize that tone in his voice. "Please
don't stay long."
Gohan opened the door to her room
and closed it quietly behind him. He scanned the room for her body.
When he spotted her in a bed by the window he felt his eyes dampen.
She was hooked up to different kind of machines and IV's. As he
walked closer he noticed the different tubes running in and out of
her body. Her hair wasn't the same bright blue that he had come to
love, but a dull turquoise. Her skin was pale and you could see the
veins popping out in her arms, neck, and face. His hand reached out
to touch her to make sure that this wasn't some kind of bad dream.
His stored tears dropped slowly and splashed down on her cool skin.
'She already looks dead. She doesn't look the same. What did they
do to her?' he thought sadly.
"Gohan?"
He
smiled and wiped the few tears he had shed for her away. "Yeah?"
She
tried to turn to him and resisted the help he offered her. When she
finally did she smiled weakly up at him. 'Ah, I still feel like
shit. When are they gonna pull the plug. I'm not going to survive
this. I don't want to survive this.' She coughed a few
times. When her spell was done she just laid there looking up at
him.
Gohan felt his stomach knot up. He leaned down to make
sure what he thought he saw was right. Much to his displeasure, it
was. "Bra, I just want to tell you again that I love you and
you're going to pull through this. We are going to live for a long
time together. I know it. So just promise me you will hang on."
Bra
coughed up some more blood and shook her head. "I can't promise
you that." She began coughing again more and more. The tiny
drops of blood got bigger and bigger. Despite the obvious pain she
was going through she still talked. "Sue this place when I die.
They gave me the wrong diagnosis." She smiled and reached out
for his hand. "Take care of yourself and don't blame yourself
about whatever happens to me. I meant to say this sooner, but you
know what it is. I don't want to be mushy, so I'm just going to have
to assume you know what I want to say. I care a lot for you and you
know.." she gave him a weak but genuine smile.
Even
though she was coughing up blood and probably dying in his arms right
then, he couldn't leave her. She just told him she loved him, in so
many words, and that she was thinking about how he felt even though
she was slipping. "Nothing is going to happen to you. When you
get better, we are getting engaged or something. I don't care if you
don't want to or that I must be stupid, or even if you think you
still love that damn machine, I don't want to lose you again. I just
got you Bra, I can't lose you now."
Bra squeezed his hand
lightly as her body racked with coughs. Gohan looked down at the girl
of his dreams and wanted to cry again. She was practically dying
right in front of him. He leaned down and kissed her before rushing
out of the room to get medical attention.
When she saw Gohan
running out of her daughter's room, Bulma panicked. "Gohan!
She's not going to die! She can't die!" Trunks immediately ran
to his mother's aide. He felt the tears sting the back of his eyes as
he rocked with his mother.
"It's okay okassan. She's not
going to die. She's too young. You know she's not." As he said
it, he tried to convince himself that this was not really happening.
The doctors said she could live! She was going to survive this so he
could kick her ass for worrying him so much. After about two minutes
of rocking and trying to calm his mother down, the hospital intercoms
were calling doctors to her room. Three doctors and some nurses
rushed past them into her room and a while later they came out with a
bed and a sheet draped over the top.
A young, pretty nurse
grabbed Bra Briefs clipboard. "Time, doctor?"
"Patient
pronounced dead 7:42 A.M."
At those words Bulma wailed
and reached out for the bed. "My baby! She's gone! My baby girl!
Oh my goodness! What did I do to deserve this!"
Trunks
released his mother. He tried his best to stay calm and not get
overreacted. His baby sister was gone. There was no way she could
come back. He looked at the covered body and turned away quickly. He
couldn't handle this. He bowed down and cupped his face in his hands
as he cried for his only sister.
Gohan walked back to where
Bra's room was. His heart stopped when he saw Bulma being held down
by meds and nurses and Trunks crying in a corner. Time seemed to stop
for him when they tried to wheel a feminine figure away from the
hysterical woman. When the bed turned and a few strands of blue hair
spilled from beneath the sheet his hand clutched his heart. She
wasn't supposed to die. Not yet. 'This isn't happening again. I
just lost Videl now Bra. Why is it always me?'
Bulma
managed to get out of the MD's grasp in time to catch Gohan. She
started yelling at him in a need to blame her death on someone. "It's
your fault! She would have never done this if it hadn't been for you!
My daughter is dead because of you! How could you?!" She dropped
to her knees and cried again. Bra was dead.
The
funeral was three days after her death. It was a nice funeral. When
it was Gohan's turn to view the body he was stuck there. She was as
beautiful in life as she was in death. She wore a simple but elegant
black dress with her hair made into soft blue curls. She didn't look
like the sick woman he had seen earlier that week. She looked healthy
and just gorgeous. He barely realized that Yamucha and Goten had to
drag him away from her. He resisted but not too much because he
probably would have taken her out of the box. He looked back again
and noticed the black, silk rose he gave her when he came back from
his trip was in her hands. He went to his knees and cried at the
sight. 'The last love of my life is gone. Why can't I die now?'
Juunana sat in the back. He couldn't
bring himself through the pain of seeing her there. 'I don't see
how he could do it. That's like walking into a fight blind.' He
thought about his lost girl for a moment before turning and leaving.
'I should have told her I loved her. Now it's too late.'
Pan
and Ubuu made sure to get Gohan away from there before they buried
her in the ground. All three of them got in the car and drove to
Capsule Corperation to send their condolences to the family. Ubuu
kept his eye on the road even though he wanted to end Pan's grief for
her friend. He knew this must have been hard for her, but it probably
didn't compare to what Gohan was feeling at the moment.
"We're
here," he said melancholy.
Pan stepped out of the car and
went to his arms. When she saw her father get out, she felt so sorry
for him. He really looked his age if not older just right then. It
hurt her a little to know that he wasn't like this when her mother
died, but she knew it was just a jealous feeling over nothing.
"Daddy, I really am sorry."
He just nodded at her
and walked past the two. He didn't want to be near anyone. He walked
in the house and around the various people eating and drinking to get
to the backyard. When he got there he sat down hard on the porch. He
had no more tears. There was nothing else for him to do now except
move on. "Bra, why did you have to do this? I would rather you
be with him than be gone" he whispered to himself.
Bulma
watched him from the window. He looked like he wanted to be there
with her daughter. She came out and touched him on the shoulder. "Are
you feeling any better?"
Gohan jumped at the sound of
another voice. He relaxed a little when he saw Bulma's face. He
didn't want to talk to her, because of the things she said about him
after she heard the news. "No."
Bulma frowned. "I'm
sorry about what happened at the hospital. I was just upset. My baby
is gone. But what makes me so upset about it is, we never got to
resolve our differences. I wanted to tell her I was sorry. I didn't
know I was going to be too late. I just wish she knew I only wanted
the best for her. I didn't want her to fall in and out of love at
such a young age. It hurts, I know from experience. But... well, you
know how she is."
He nodded, but didn't say anything.
"I
know now that you really loved her. Maybe if I stayed out of her
business she would still be here. Maybe we would be able to get
along. I don't know, but I just think I'm the one who caused all of
this."
He laid his hand over hers. "It's not your
fault. It's mine. I should have never asked her to pick between me
and Juunana. Maybe if I didn't, she would still be here," with
me hopefully, but he didn't say it.
Bulma tapped his
shoulders. "We'll never know. We can't blame ourselves for the
rest of our lives. It just makes you have more grey hairs." She
smiled at him. "Don't worry Gohan, we'll understand it better as
time goes by. At least that is what Vegeta said. He told her, she
must have did what she did for a reason, and a damn good one because
she's his daughter. I don't understand it, but it must make some
sense if that is what he kept telling himself to keep him from
breaking down. I'm going to go in now, don't stay out here too
long."
Gohan was about to slump back into his thinking
until Carmen came to sit beside him.
"What's wrong
Gohan-san?"
He looked beside him and sighed. 'Why
can't I just be left alone to feel sorry for myself?!' He managed
to smile at the small girl. "Hey Carmen." When she smiled
at him he was once again reminded at how much she looked like her
aunt.
"Do you miss her?"
His smile faded
quickly at the question. He was quiet for a while before answering
quiety. "More than anything. I will always love her and I know
I'm going to think about her for the rest of my life."
She
nodded and turned away. "Don't blame yourself, she wouldn't want
that."
He nodded again. "It's going to be hard not
to."
"Why is it hard. Just think about the good
times you had together. If you had died, would she blame
herself?"
"No." He was surprised at how fast it
came out, but it was true. She would feel sorry and regretful, but
Bra would not have blamed herself. He thought about it for a while
before turning and looking at Carmen. "You're a smart four-year
old."
She smiled. "Naw, my grandmother told me to
use common sense about things because it's easier to recognizee than
looking at it the logical way. Uncle Juu-san told me the same thing
too."
He nodded at her words. It was hard to believe that
he was getting advice from a four-year old girl, but she seemed the
only one who didn't feel sorry for him. "Thanks
Carmen."
"You're welcome. You want me to tell you a
story about what auntie Bra did for me?"
He nodded 'yes'.
He had nothing else to do, plus it would get him out of his own self
pity. "Yeah, go ahead."
She smiled and began telling
him about this weird song that she used to always sing for her. "She
would always sing this song and tell me it was the story of her life.
She said a song would kill her one day." She turned and looked
at him strangely for a minute.
Strumming my
pain with his fingers,
singing my life with his words,
killing
me softly with his song,
killing me softly with his song,
telling my whole life with his words,
killing me softly with
his song
