in the game...
by Strawberriee
¤ ¤ ¤
A/N: Thanks for all your reviews but I still want you to Read and Review. To make this story better, just imagine as if it were happening in the game..
... and right now, we see Link + Malon walking through Hyrule Field.
Link: I wanna go shopping.
Malon: We mustn't go shopping. Can't you see that the world in in danger?
Link: No. But still, we can go shopping at Ralph Lauren!
Malon: Sorry Link, but that's the dumbest thing you said all day.
Link: C'mon, I say dumber. (Slaps Malon on the back)
Malon: (Doubles over and coughs up blood)
Link: Why on my shoe?
Malon: (Gargling)
Link: Eew! You got brown blood! You're supposed to have red or green.
Malon: Green? What magazines have you been reading? I am blood + flesh, not handmade spinach.
Link: What have you been eating, crap or chocolate?
Malon: Chocolatè!
Link: Hey, I am supposed to be the dumb one in this story.
Malon: Yes, right. Let's get down to 'portant matters.
Link: Can I have the triforce?
Then they both stop to a halt.
Malon: Ahem, what did you just say?
Link: I want the triforce. Where do I get it?
Malon: Have you been surfing fibbin' websites 'gain?
Link: Must I tell you everything.
Malon: You have the courage, GanonSally has power, and Zelda has wisdom.
Link: What triforce do you have?
Malon: Umm, triforce of chili cheese dog.
Link: Wicked!
Malon: Link, concentrate!
Link: Those are the exact words on my orange juice carton.
Malon: Link! I am losing my patience!
Link: Really? Zelda is losing her virginity.
Malon: Link! Am I going to have to bash your head in?
Link: No but you can bash my face in.
Malon: (Sighs) Geek alert..
Link: Geek alert, Geek Alert, Malon is a geek.. alert!
Malon: (Slaps Link) Stop! Gosh!
Link: I wish my name was Josh.
Malon: Agad! Shut up!
Link: Guess the world's not all that sunshine and rainbow, huh snugglebunny?
Malon: Shut up before I call security.
Link: Security security! Help, I got diapers by my side.
Malon: What will I have to do to shut you up?
Link: How about hot sex.
Malon: ... did you just say what I thought you said?
Link: What? Hot sex?
Malon: Anything besides that..
Link: Ooh.
Navi: I'm back from my coffee break.
Link: Will you have hot sex with me?
Navi: Did you ask for hot sex?
Link: (Puppy eyes) Peeze?
Navi: No! This is worse than .. than..
Link: Talk shows!
Navi + Malon: SHUT THE HELL UP!
Link: Sowwy.
Malon: As I was saying, wait, what was I saying?
Link: She sells seashells by the seashore.
Malon: Puh-lease..
Link: I wanna Big Mac!
Navi: But you're a vegetarian.
Link: So what, I wanna Big Mac!
Malon: ... Okay then. Anyways, I think someone else besides GanonSally has plans up their ass..
Link: I thought it was up their sleeves.
Malon: I feel sorry for you to be so stupid.
Link: ...............................................................
There is a long pause of silence.
Link: Yippe Yi Yo, Yippe Yi Yay!
Malon: Must I end this way. Must I die this way.
Navi: Hey, where are we walking?
All Three: YAAAAHHHH!!!
They fall into a deep, black pit in the middle of the field. It was never known to be there. There are loud cries of screaming and faint sounds of moos...
Meanwhile.
Talon: Where is that Malon?
Ingo: Instead of sitting on your ass all day why don't you help me?
Talon: Shut up or there will be a flying ass 'round here.
Ingo: I thought you changed!
Talon: I thought you were drunk!
Talon + Ingo: Dammit!
There is thirty minutes of silence.
Talon: Where is Malon?
Ingo: She must be fallen into the deep pit of Hell Cows.
Hell Cows? Dun dun dun.
