A Conversation Never Seen
in the game...
by Strawberriee

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A/N: Thanks for all your reviews but I still want you to Read and Review. To make this story better, just imagine as if it were happening in the game..

... and right now, we see Link + Malon walking through Hyrule Field.

Link: I wanna go shopping.

Malon: We mustn't go shopping. Can't you see that the world in in danger?

Link: No. But still, we can go shopping at Ralph Lauren!

Malon: Sorry Link, but that's the dumbest thing you said all day.

Link: C'mon, I say dumber. (Slaps Malon on the back)

Malon: (Doubles over and coughs up blood)

Link: Why on my shoe?

Malon: (Gargling)

Link: Eew! You got brown blood! You're supposed to have red or green.

Malon: Green? What magazines have you been reading? I am blood + flesh, not handmade spinach.

Link: What have you been eating, crap or chocolate?

Malon: Chocolatè!

Link: Hey, I am supposed to be the dumb one in this story.

Malon: Yes, right. Let's get down to 'portant matters.

Link: Can I have the triforce?

Then they both stop to a halt.

Malon: Ahem, what did you just say?

Link: I want the triforce. Where do I get it?

Malon: Have you been surfing fibbin' websites 'gain?

Link: Must I tell you everything.

Malon: You have the courage, GanonSally has power, and Zelda has wisdom.

Link: What triforce do you have?

Malon: Umm, triforce of chili cheese dog.

Link: Wicked!

Malon: Link, concentrate!

Link: Those are the exact words on my orange juice carton.

Malon: Link! I am losing my patience!

Link: Really? Zelda is losing her virginity.

Malon: Link! Am I going to have to bash your head in?

Link: No but you can bash my face in.

Malon: (Sighs) Geek alert..

Link: Geek alert, Geek Alert, Malon is a geek.. alert!

Malon: (Slaps Link) Stop! Gosh!

Link: I wish my name was Josh.

Malon: Agad! Shut up!

Link: Guess the world's not all that sunshine and rainbow, huh snugglebunny?

Malon: Shut up before I call security.

Link: Security security! Help, I got diapers by my side.

Malon: What will I have to do to shut you up?

Link: How about hot sex.

Malon: ... did you just say what I thought you said?

Link: What? Hot sex?

Malon: Anything besides that..

Link: Ooh.

Navi: I'm back from my coffee break.

Link: Will you have hot sex with me?

Navi: Did you ask for hot sex?

Link: (Puppy eyes) Peeze?

Navi: No! This is worse than .. than..

Link: Talk shows!

Navi + Malon: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Link: Sowwy.

Malon: As I was saying, wait, what was I saying?

Link: She sells seashells by the seashore.

Malon: Puh-lease..

Link: I wanna Big Mac!

Navi: But you're a vegetarian.

Link: So what, I wanna Big Mac!

Malon: ... Okay then. Anyways, I think someone else besides GanonSally has plans up their ass..

Link: I thought it was up their sleeves.

Malon: I feel sorry for you to be so stupid.

Link: ...............................................................

There is a long pause of silence.

Link: Yippe Yi Yo, Yippe Yi Yay!

Malon: Must I end this way. Must I die this way.

Navi: Hey, where are we walking?

All Three: YAAAAHHHH!!!

They fall into a deep, black pit in the middle of the field. It was never known to be there. There are loud cries of screaming and faint sounds of moos...

Meanwhile.

Talon: Where is that Malon?

Ingo: Instead of sitting on your ass all day why don't you help me?

Talon: Shut up or there will be a flying ass 'round here.

Ingo: I thought you changed!

Talon: I thought you were drunk!

Talon + Ingo: Dammit!

There is thirty minutes of silence.

Talon: Where is Malon?

Ingo: She must be fallen into the deep pit of Hell Cows.

Hell Cows? Dun dun dun.