A Conversation Never Seen
in the game...
by Strawberriee

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... and finally Malon + Link exit the hole, bleeding + punctured + bruise.

Link: I don't feel so great.

Malon: Neither do I.

Link: (Gasps) You're missing an arm!

Malon: Cow musta grabbed 'hold of it..

Link: Impossible!

Then, Malon's eyes turned a crimson color, she roared, then put her arm in the air. The screen goes snowy as Malon is biting off Link's arm..

Meanwhile at Lon Lon Ranch.

Talon: Well, Ingo, while we're waiting for Malon to come home, let's do something.

Ingo: I'm in the mood for macaroni and cheese!

Talon: AHH! It's Britney Spears!

A faint image of Britney Spears is seen in the far lands. The image nears Ingo + Talon every millisecond.

Ingo: Man, it's only Saria.

Saria: Of course it's me.

Talon: We thought you were Britney Spears.

Saria: Britney Spears? I do not look anything like her.

Ingo: What'd you come her for?

Saria: For milk.

Talon: Sorry our cows are boys.

Saria: Boys? Your cows must be homophobic.

Ingo: Calling our cows homos, eh?

Saria: If they are boys, then how does Link get milk from them?

Ingo + Talon shrug.

Talon: Maybe it's Link.

Ingo: Talon, you bull dyke!! Of course it's Link! ... I'm bored. Let's do something!

Saria: Ew, you guys are nasty!

Talon: Not together, stupid.

Saria: Wow, and I thought Talon was the stupid one.

Talon: Oh, flip you.

Saria: Hey look! I am flipping you off!

Talon: Get the hell out before I kill you with a rake.

Saria screams as Talon whips her head off with a rake..

Meanwhile at Mido's house.

Mido and peoples are having a sleepover party to celebrate the Deku baby's first b-day.

Mido: Okay peoples! Before we begin to snuggle in dream land, let's watch TV!

Everyone: Boo.

King Zora: Cinco de Mayo day! Join in the fun and play!

Rauru: Vamos la celebrar! Contando la musica!

Majora: My life! My future! My girlfriend!

Mido: Shut up and watch.

They are watching Sailor Moon..

Serena: Quick! It's a death threat from Ash Ketchum! Moon prism power!

Suddenly then Mido fell on top of his fairy with a scythe going through the back of his head, and Majora laughing evilly behind him. The screen goes snowy as we hear loud screams and cries for help..

Meanwhile at Zelda's place.

Zelda: Purple or green?

Ganondorf: Green nails? Who heard of green toe nails?

Zelda + Ganondorf: (Giggles)

Ganondorf: Oh it is so fun being a girl.

Zelda: When do you get your last surgery?

Ganondorf: Today at noon. It's the surgery for ...

Zelda: ??

Ganondorf: Nevermind!

They both giggle.

Zelda: Oh GanonSally, you're such a good friend.

Ganondorf: NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

Zelda screams and cries for help as GanonSally chases her around the room with a pitchfork and devil-ears on her head..

Ganondorf: DIE MISERABLE STINK BEAST! DIE!

Zelda: GanonSally, what has gone wrong?

Ganondorf: ORDER BY THE PLAYBOY BUNNY, I AM COMMANDED TO KILL YOU!

Zelda: Then why didn't you kill me 32 hours ago!!

Ganondorf: DIE!

Zelda: NOO!

Ganondorf: Being a girl sucks!

Zelda: No, you shouldn't say that! Because you are judging yourself!

GanonSally pulls off "her" face, clothes, and everything girlish on her.

Ganondorf: No more am I GanonSally! I am back to Ganondorf!

Zelda: Put your clothes on.

Then Ganondorf chases her to "his" castle.

Zelda: Please don't push me any further!

Ganondorf: And if I do you'll melt in the magma, right?

Zelda: Exactamundo.

Ganondorf unleashes a power on her, causing her to scream. Zelda is then trapped in an emerald crystal.

Ganondorf: This game will now go right!

Zelda: But this fic are 'Conversations Never Seen in the Game'. Shouldn't we work out and do useless chats?

Ganondorf: Uh, no.

The scene disappears as Zelda disappears and Ganondorf disappears into his castle.