His Thoughts
Disclaimer
I don't own these characters, please no suing.
The first time I saw her, was at the hospital, when everyone one
was getting their medical checkups. God she was so beautiful.
She was so innocent, so young, untouched by war. I didn't want to
say more, think more, this was war and I knew that I was going to
loose some friends. Why did I have to enlist with Rafe, at least I
could have gone elsewhere, somewhere where I didn't need to
worry about turning around and see my lifelong friend get his
head blown off.
At the bar, the night before we were shipped off, I saw her, and
she saw me. I knew that she thought that I was attractive, I could
tell by the way she looked at me, those short, quick flirtatious
looks. I couldn't bring myself to do more than sit there, sipping
from glass, trying not to make eye contact. Now that I look back
on it I wish I had.
After we got the news that Rafe was dead, I nearly lost myself.
I had to find something to keep myself going.And in that one night,
I had the one of best times of my life. I held her close to me, and I
loved her. After I woke up in the morning I was so disgusted with
myself, I almost threw up, how could I have slept with someone, so
soon after my best friend died? I felt like shitty scum. I mean,
there I was in the arms of a beautiful girl, while Rafe was lying
somewhere at the bottem of ocean. So I left her there, I couldn't
deal with her feelings, or let alone, mine. I didn't think that she
would have ever forgiven me. I thought I'd just wing it until I sorted
myself out. I didn't want to hurt her, because I did love her.
Rafe came back.
I went to her, I found out that she knew that he loved her. She
wasn't going to leave him for me. She really didn't want to hurt
him. But she was going to stay with me beause, she knew that I
loved, her, and she loved me. She wasn't going to say anything
until after the whole war was ove, so everyone could perform the
best they could, with a clear mind.
I'm dying now. I wonder if anyone is going to ever know what
went on between us. I remember everything, from the scent in the
air, to the sticky cloth on my skin and the gunfire in the distant. I
remeber exactly how I felt when I saw her face in the pile under
the shade of the montrous monkey-pod tree. My Betty, her eyes
have closed. I could have died right there. I remember sneaking
back to her coffin, and crying my heart out the entire night. I also
almost died when I saw Red, crying on her coffin, believing that
she was in love with him, I wanted to go and steal a plane, and
fly right into heaven, or until my engine gave out, and I would be
joined with her again. But now I am dying, and I find out that I am
to be a father. But I didn't even love her, I just comforted her, so
she wouldn't entirely breakdown, that was a heartless thing to do
but what else could I have done? Well at least I'll see here again.
Please, Betty, wait just one more second, I am coming to you.
