(I made a booboo in the original (I hope no one noticed it _) so I corrected it. I'm a perfectionist, so sue me! And now please enjoy my short, pointless fanfic-----)
Don't feed the Nameks
(Okay, this story takes place sometime between the Namek saga and the Android saga.... therefore, Goku is not around.)
It was a regular day in the DBZ realm. Goku was still missing, Chichi was screaming, Vegeta was complaining, Roshi was being a pervert, Kuririn was bald (?), and Gohan and Piccolo were "sparring." And so now we shall check up on our favorite green person and his "friend."
"YAAA!" Gohan charged toward Piccolo, attempting to connect his foot to the side of the Namek's head. He only succeeded in kicking empty air, however. Piccolo appeared behind him and kicked Gohan into the dirt.
"Feh, you're pathetic kid. You should've---Hey, what's that?" Piccolo glanced down at the item that had fallen out of Gohan's pocket.
"Uh.... I-it's n-nothing Piccolo-san...." Gohan faltered and picked the small item up. Piccolo snatched it from him before he could shove it back into his pocket.
"A candy bar? Gohan, I thought I told you not to bring anything with you when we spar....." Piccolo glared down at his student. He continued talking before Gohan interrupted him. "Well, no matter. This will teach you not to disobey me." The Namekian growled slightly, and carelessly tossed the candy bar behind him and into the woods. Gohan sighed and looked longingly after the lost chocolate.
"S-sorry, Piccolo-san...I won't bring anymore." Gohan looked back towards his house. "I'd better be getting home anyway, before mom finds out I'm out here with you."
"Very well..." Without so much as a goodbye, Piccolo turned and exited the clearing to enter the woods where the candy bar had previously been hurled.
"Bye, Piccolo-san....." Gohan sighed again and flew off in the direction of his home.
***
In the woods-----
Piccolo sat down in the lotus position to meditate, before he could even close his eyes however, something caught the rays of the setting sun. Piccolo stood up and walked over to it. It was the shiny wrapper of Gohan's candy bar.
"Stupid kid, it probably tastes horrible......" Looking ever so much like a naughty child, Piccolo picked up the candy bar after a quick glance around the area to make sure no one was watching. Hastily he tore off the wrapper and stared at the chocolate. " Lets find out what's so great about this stuff." Piccolo gave the chocolate a cautious sniff before taking a tiny bite.
"Hmmm....I guess its bearable..." he grumbled and took another bite. "Not bad.." Looking around again, he took another bite. "Mmm, this stuff is pretty damn good." And with that, Piccolo stuffed the remaining chocolate in his mouth. "Mmmhmhm.......I-I must find more of this.........chocolate." Piccolo's pupils dilated and he took on an intoxicated look.
"Must have more......." In a rush he flew off to a nearby city. Certainly, there would be more candy there. There HAD to be.....
***
"AHHHHHHHHH!!!" A young girl screamed as Piccolo landed. Rushing over to her, he grabbed her arms.
"Tell me human, do you have any candy????" The girl trembled in fright and then fainted, becoming limp in Piccolo's grasp.
"Feh, useless humans...." Piccolo grumbled and dropped the girl to the ground as he turned around. His eyes grew as big as saucers at what he saw.
"A-a-a candy STORE?! They have WHOLE stores dedicated to this stuff? Oh thankyouthankyouthankYOOOUUU, Kami!!!" Piccolo did a victory dance and practically killed himself in the attempt to enter the store. His jaw dropped to the floor as his eyes took in all the luscious candy and chocolate lining the walls and shelves. A store clerk noticed the crazed look in his eye and slowly backed away.
"W-what are you?!" The frightened store clerk managed to stutter out. Piccolo gave him a maniacal stare. "U-uhhh, listen mister....don't get any ideas or I'll call the cops."
"GIVE me CANDY!!!!!!!!" Piccolo tore off his cape and used it as a sack as he ran around the store scooping up as much of the sweet stuff as he possibly could. He panted with anticipation, barely able to stop himself from packing his jaws full immediately. Closing up the make-shift sack, he flew out of the store, leaving the confused clerk in a pile of candy wrappers and melted chocolate.
"S-someone get the number of that bus........" The clerk uttered before passing out completely.
***
Once back in his forest, Piccolo ripped the wrappers off of every single piece of candy he had stolen and began stuffing as much as he could manage at one time into his mouth. Savoring all the sugar and chocolate. He couldn't seem to stop. He was high on candy.
"Mmmph, mmmm..hmmhmm.....Mmmmmmm." He mumbled between chews, causing bits of chocolate to fly out of his mouth. Before he realized it, Piccolo had eaten every single bite of candy that had been wrapped up in his cape. Frantically he searched through the discarded wrappers, trying to find one he had missed.
"N-no.....must have MOOOORE!!!!" He cried and threw his head back in a display of raw drama. "Must find candy, must have candy......." He muttered over and over as he licked melted chocolate from different wrappers. His eyes twitched involuntarily as a thought formed in his head. He smiled insanely and took to the air, swaying from side to side drunkenly.
"G-gohan.....H-he'll have candy. Find Gohan, Find candy." Bits of drool clung to his lip as he flew off to his friend's house.
***
Gohan looked up from his studies as he heard a glass shattering and his mother screaming. *Oh no, Mom!* he thought and flew downstairs in a panic. The sight that met his eyes would have been funny, had it not been so horribly terrifying. Chichi was screaming and waving a frying pan like a machete above her head. Piccolo was shaking and pulling doors off of cabinets in his frantic quest for goodies.
"P-piccolo? A-are you okay??" Gohan took a step into the kitchen.
"Stay away from him Gohan, he's gone totally mad!" Chichi hurled the frying pan directly at Piccolo, It hit his head with a sickening *CRACK!* But it didn't even seem to phase him as he began pulling drawers out and spilling their contents onto the floor. Piccolo turned around finally and stared at Gohan.
"YoU hAvE cAnDy!" He declared and flew at Gohan, frothy saliva ran down his chin.
"Piccolo, N-no!!" Gohan turned and ran from his former friend. Piccolo chased him around the house , knocking over furniture, ripping doors off their hinges, and just generally making a mess as he attempted to catch the one he was certain had candy.
"P-piccolo, I don't HAVE any candy!! You took it from me, remember??!" Gohan shouted as he jumped over a bush in his backyard. Piccolo had chased him out of the house and into the yard, where he repeatedly tripped on stones and grass clumps.
"GiVe Me CaNdY!!!!!!!!!" The insane Namek shouted as he made a grab at Gohan, but only succeeded in falling flat on his face. Un-deterred, he got up and continued the fast paced chase. Chichi would have helped her poor son, but she had long since passed out after Piccolo had drooled on her floor.
"Aw, man....If only dad were here...he could help me out!" Gohan mumbled as he entered the city where Piccolo had previously stolen candy. He glanced back at Piccolo who was still just as crazy as ever. He was a terrible site...his eyes were twice their original size, his nostrils were flared, and his mouth hung open, allowing drool to trail behind him a he ran. "Will he ever slow down???!" Gohan gave several of the people he ran past a pleading look, but none of them seemed to want to have anything to do with the crazed green monster that was following the young boy.
***
Night time had come and Gohan was still running back and forth in the streets of the city, but he was tiring. Piccolo was slowing down too, but not enough for Gohan to feel safe. Had any particular citizen of that city chosen to look out their window out that time, the scene could have been compared to a horror movie.
"P-piccolo??" Gohan panted and finally stopped running. Piccolo was no longer behind him. "Where a-are you??" Gohan began walking in the opposite direction he had been running. He spotted Piccolo curled up in the middle of the street, holding his stomach and groaning in agony.
"G-gohan? Wh-what happened?" Piccolo looked up at the small boy leaning over him. Before Gohan could answer him, Piccolo fell asleep. Gohan thanked Kami that sugar rushes DID have an end and he carried Piccolo back to his house.
***
Piccolo awoke to find himself laying on a couch. When he tried to raise up he realized he had a splitting headache.
"Oh, Kami....what have I been doing?" Piccolo glanced around, noticing a frazzled Chichi and an exhausted looking Gohan. The young boy glanced sleepily at his teacher.
"Oh, good morning Piccolo-san.....we thought you'd never wake up." Chichi just glared
"Good he's awake, now get out you green monster!" She shouted the last part of her sentence at a baffled looking Piccolo.
"Aw, mom...he doesn't remember what happened....be nice." Gohan murmured as he rested his head on the table.
"Oh, alright......Piccolo, would, you like some coffee?" Chichi held out a cup of the hot, caffeinated beverage. Piccolo glanced at it warily as he gave the cup's contents a quick sniff, before drinking it down in one gulp.
"Mmm, pretty good. Can I have seconds?" He asked innocently as Chichi and Gohan stared in horror as his eye started to twitch.
***
(A/N- I don't own Dbz.....I forgot to mention that at the beginning, so here it be. That was a pointless , stupid story.....I realize, so please don't point that out if you review. You will review won't you? Please?! You had better, or I'll send a crazed Piccolo after you to MAKE you review!!! ....I promise my next story will actually be WORTH reading....bai bai)
