Author's Note: Just a little bit more craziness from me. This fic stands alone, but I suggest you read 'The Pancake Episode' first to understand my madness! Read and review my lovelys!

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Don't sue.

Gundams On the High Seas
By The 41st Magaunac AKA Muse of Arabia

Part 3

Dinner was a quiet affair. Quatre was still being icy with Trowa over the whole 'hands down Heero's pants' thing. Wufei had chosen the seat as far from Heero as possible, and kept getting up to wash his hands. Duo was surprisingly quiet, sitting next to Trowa, trying to keep from meeting Heero's gaze.

The 'pirates' seemed on edge as well. Heero couldn't help but wonder if him chasing Duo around the ship, firing shots into anything that got in is way had anything to do with it. Still, he was feeling pretty pleased with himself. He had managed to 'accidentally' mutilate no less than 4 fake parrots, one treasure chest, and 3 wooden legs during his exercise. His joy had only been ended when he had discovered to his great irritation that he had run out of bullets to shoot Duo with. He had asked Trowa if he could borrow his gun, but Trowa had refused for some unfathomable reason.

And so, things remained tense through dinner. Quatre was staring fixedly at a potato on his plate, as though willing it to spontaneously combust. Trowa got the nasty feeling that Quatre was imagining said potato to be his head, and gulped.

Surprisingly, Trowa was the first one to speak. He turned to Quatre, and said, "Do you think you could pass the vegetables, please?"

"Fine," replied Quatre shortly, picking up the plate of veg and plonking it in front of Trowa with a clatter on the hard wooden table. Several particularly rebellious Brussels sprouts rolled off the plate and on to the floor.

"Jeez, Quatre, I said I was sorry!" complained Trowa, taking a spoonful of carrots and avoiding the rather overcooked sprouts.

"I know." Quatre continued to stare at his potato.

"I've spent all evening apologising, and nothing even happened between me and Heero!"

Wufei's fork hit the plate, and he looked positively sick. "Yuy!" he shook his head in disbelief, starting to absentmindedly clean his hands with the napkin, "You're a flipping rabbit, that's what you are! Honestly, you'll hump ANYTHING!"

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" retorted Trowa.

Duo chose this moment to crawl beneath the table. When the crap hit the fan, he didn't want to be around to get splattered.

"I think you KNOW what it means!"

"Well, maybe I don't, so you'd better tell me! There's nothing wrong with me! This thing between Heero and I…"

"Ah HA!" Quatre almost leapt up from the dinner table, "I told you something happened, and now you've admitted it! You've been cheating on me with Heero!"

Trowa looked about ready to destroy the table by head butting it. His cheeks had gone bright red with frustration. "NOTHING HAPPENED!"

"Can everyone please SHUT UP???" yelled Heero, "I've got a headache, and I want to eat my dinner in PEACE!"

"Well that makes a change!" spat back Trowa.

"What do you mean?" replied Heero, his eyes taking on their so frequently used glare of death.

Wufei interrupted, "Just shut up Yuy! Whatever happened between you and Barton cannot have been as disgusting as what I witnessed this afternoon!"

"Why, what happened?" asked Quatre, who was the only one at the table who was remotely calm.

"He… with his… and… it was DISGUSTING!" yelled Wufei, sitting back down.

Quatre looked at him questioningly, and he rolled his eyes, and whispered into Quatre's ear. Quatre turned to stare at Heero. "IN PUBLIC??" Wufei nodded his head. Quatre looked back at his potato, no longer feeling the urge to combust it, more the urge to be sick. "In public!" he repeated to himself.

"Listen guys!" said Heero, let's just all be quiet and eat our food. We'll annoy each other a lot less that way."

There was a small nod from the others at the table, and dinner continued for a moment peacefully, aside from the odd murmur from Quatre, "In public!" who continued to look horrified. Trowa looked at him, wondering what it was that was so disgusting, or more disgusting than him having to put his hands into… a very unpleasant place.

Finally, Quatre turned to him, and whispered into Trowa's ear. Trowa looked unwell for a moment, before sighing heavily. "That's it? That's still not as bad as what I had to do."

Wufei looked up at Trowa, and said coldly, "If you think you can better witnessing that, I suggest you try."

"Fine," replied Trowa, dumping his cutlery down. "I had to put my hands… down… into… into…"

"He stuck his hands down Heero's shorts!" said Quatre almost tearfully. "Right in front of me!"

Wufei stared at them all for a moment, before saying, "Okay, you win…"

"For God's sake!" yelled Heero is exasperation, "It's just my shorts! I change them everyday! There's nothing unsanitary down there!"

"I DO NOT NEED A DESCRIPTION OF WHAT IS OR ISN'T IN YOUR UNDERWEAR YUY!!" yelled Wufei, covering his ears. "Neither do I care about Barton's interest in what is down there!"

"Ah HA!" Quatre continued to look triumphant.

"I do not have an interest in what is in Heero's underwear!" yelled Trowa angrily, "Besides, he doesn't WEAR any!"

Wufei clapped another hand over his eyes, "Too much information!! My eyes! My ears! My mind is infected! I'll be scarred for life!"

Heero glared at Quatre, who was now looking at him very strangely.

"Well, you're a freak!" yelled Trowa, digging into his pocket to pull out the lighter he had picked up earlier, "I bet this even belongs to you! You were the only one around when I found it!"

"Oh, I was wondering where that had got to…" said Quatre, taking the novelty lighter in the shape of Benito Mussolini's head from Trowa outstretched hand.

Trowa promptly sweatdropped. "Uhh… Quatre? Where did you get that?"

"It came free with my latest issue of 'Fascist Dictator Monthly'," Quatre replied, as though it were the most normal thing in the world.

"Quatre, do you know what a fascist dictator DOES?"

Quatre shrugged. "Vaguely. I know it has something to do with people." He smiled, and held out the lighter. "It's really cute though! If you press his chin, his tongue pops out!"

Trowa blinked several times before he could take in this new information. "We'll talk later," was all he said.

"My God!" commented Wufei, flinging his hands into the air in exasperation, "I'm surrounded by freaks and weirdoes!"

"You're one to talk, Mr-I'm-the-king-of-the-world!" Trowa retorted to Wufei.

Wufei leapt up from his seat. "NO! You did hear! Damn you!"

"What is it, Chang, your favourite film?" said Trowa, laughing evilly, "I bet the end bit just has you sobbing! 'Boo hoo hoo!! Hold me Nataku!!'"

"DIE!" yelled Wufei, pulling out his katana and leaping across the table, while Trowa tried to fend him off with the bread knife.

After a long period of yelling, Heero commented, "How would you know it was sad at the end, Trowa?"

The fight paused for a moment, and Trowa stared at the floor. "Uhh…"

Wufei grinned triumphantly. "HAH! You've seen it too!"

Trowa looked like he was about to cry, and pointed a finger accusingly at Quatre. "It was HIM! He made me! I didn't want to go! Oh the inhumanity!"

Quatre leapt up from the dinner table, "You said you enjoyed it! You lied to me! You're always lying to me! You lied to me about 'Titanic', and you're lying to me about what you did with Heero!"

"I am NOT lying! It was not my fault!" Trowa replied.

"Well, don't look at ME!" thundered Wufei, sheathing his katana again.

Everyone looked at Heero, who held up his hands, "You think I WANTED a fish in my shorts?"

"Well…"

Heero glared at Wufei, who fell silent. For a moment, there was no sound from any of them. They all became aware of a muffled laughing sound from under the table. Heero raised his finger to his lips, and in one smooth motion, flipped the table over, scattering food across the floor.

The braided mischief-maker looked up at them through his dark blue eyes, grinning. "Hey guys! Want some bread? It's really good…"

"Maxwell…"

"I'm going to enjoy watching you suffer…" Trowa cracked his knuckles.

"You're not a very nice person," stated Quatre. Okay, so it wasn't very strong, but this is Quatre we're talking about.

"Now now, guys! It was just a little prank!"

"I say we hang him up by his braid, and dangle him over the edge of the ship!" said Wufei savagely.

"Eep!" squeaked Duo, disappearing in a cloud of dust, a Duo shaped hole appearing in the door.

"Don't let him get away!"

"Justice will be served!"

"Omae o korosu!"

And other such calls disappeared down the hallway. The pirate tour guides looked at each other in bewilderment and worry.

"Tonight," stated the one with the fake eye patch. "I'm not staying one minute longer with these freaks."

There was a nod, and the others went back to their eating to the melodious sounds of screams of anger, fear, and pain.

To be continued...

End of Part 3!