Can You Make It Easier
Can You Make It Easier

Chapter 2: "Too Late"

_~*~_

Ring.

The phone's ring was insistent—and so was the person on the other line. No, no one ever called Tyler Connell a quitter.

Val stared numbly at the phone, at the Caller ID blank that was filled in by digitally written numbers: T CONNELL. She had never had this much trouble not answering the phone before. Sure, when it was he she often sat back, watched it ring, and then sobbed her eyes out afterwards. But it was harder now, actually having spoke to him the other day. She involuntarily reached for it and picked it up.

Put it down, she ordered herself. But still she held on, dying to just hear his voice again, even if it meant insomnia that night, replaying a scene from five years ago.

"Is this goodbye?" she asked, eyes questioning.

"No!" Tyler was insistent—how was he supposed to lose Val over something that hadn't even been meant that way?

"Thanks for ending it now—it's better than later, when I actually might have died of heartbreak." Val's throat forced out the words. No, she didn't want to have it now than later! She wanted to enjoy it while she could.

"But, Val, I don't want to…"

"Guess that it's too late, huh?"

Too late.

The words echoed in Val's brain cruelly, reminding her again and again of what had happened.

"Hello," she said to the mouthpiece of the telephone. On the other line, Tyler sighed with relief.

"Thanks for picking up. Look, Val, we need to talk."

"Talk?" Val screamed. "We ruddy well do need to talk! You better not be coming back to grovel, because I ruddy well don't want to listen! You dumped me, remember? Remember? I don't want to hear it, not after five years! Don't you dare say you just realized your mistake! I don't care!"

"Val—I still lo—"

But she had hung up. Tyler looked forlornly at the cell phone and sighed. "I still love you, Val. Even if you don't care." He pressed the End button. No, he could not take the blank buzz saying that Val thought it was over.

"Except," Tyler told the phone, "even if she thinks it's over, I won't."

The phone rang. Tyler stared as it as it rang again.

"Hello?" he asked, hoping it was Val. Maybe I should make a cell phone with Caller ID, he thought. Not a bad idea.

"Tyler!" The voice was not Val's, but it sounded familiar. Exactly like one he had heard the day before…

"Melissa?" he asked, disbelieving.

"Exactly. I tried calling your line a moment ago, but it was busy." Her voice was more informal now than it had been at their first meeting.

"I called Val," he said, depressed.

"I see. Did she answer?" Melissa was amazed. Val never answered Tyler's calls. Well, almost never, Melissa amended.

"Yeah." Tyler sighed. "Then she said she didn't want me to grovel because she didn't want to hear it and all."

"Ouch. How many times did she use ruddy?"

"About twice." Was that a good or bad thing?

"How long was the conversation?" Melissa, after a year and half of being Val's roommate in college, and another year or so of being a roommate in med school, was an expert in reading Val—one of the best interpreters. Tyler had probably been the best before, but Val-ese had changed since they broke up.

"About a minute. Maybe less."

"Ouch," Melissa said again. "She must be mad."

"Well, I guess she hasn't talked to me in, what, forever, so maybe she's releasing emotion," Tyler said hopefully.

"Right." Melissa sounded dubious as to whether it was that easy. Maybe he was right. Maybe Val forgave him. But in case that hadn't happened, she had a backup plan. "So, anyway, Tyler…"

"Yeah?" He was suspicious. This girl was devious, and she played it to her favor.

"I know how to get you to see Val again."

"You do?" Okay, now he didn't care if she was devious, this was playing to his favor as well.

"Yeah. Do you mind sleeping on a fold-out sofa?" That question wasn't necessary, Melissa knew, twisting the cord of the phone at Delta Kappa Delta, but it made it more mysterious and enticing and just prolonged knowledge of the plan. She was an expert in these matters, and she knew what his answer would be.

"Not if I get to see Val," Tyler said. "Am I coming to your apartment?"

Ooh, he was intelligent. "Exactly."

"But Val will kick me out."

Okay, so maybe he still is good at reading Val, Melissa said to herself. But that's just a step in the right direction.

"We have a policy, Val and I," Melissa told Tyler, "and she can't kick out any guest I invite and I can't kick out any guest she invites. So, like, if I want my sister to come over but Val doesn't, then I can invite her anyway, as long as she doesn't, you know, interfere with Val's personal space."

"But Val will say I'm interfering with her personal space even if I'm not," Tyler pointed out. "And I don't want Val any madder than she already is."

Melissa hadn't considered that point of view in depth, but she had glanced over it a couple of times.

"Well, then we can work that out later. And don't you want to see Val?"

Kick in the stomach. "Of course I do!"

"Good. You have to pay for your own airfare, though. Pick you up on Friday morning, see you then."

And she hung up. Tyler looked at his phone.

"Why do they always do that?" he asked.

*

Val was watching TV on her couch, sniffing. Her cold wasn't quite gone, and she was left with a stuffy and runny nose, though she had no idea how she had both at once. Her head hurt and she just wanted to watch TV all day. Which I have, considering it's three o' clock, thought Val.

She blew her nose and sighed, hoping her professors hadn't given pop quizzes today or the past two days she had been sick. She had called in and asked them to give homework to Roger Lin to give it to her, but they probably thought she had a hangover and was calling in sick to skip school.

Val realized she was lucky her professors even knew her in the class of 500 or so, but she was at the top of the class and all teachers knew the top students. Not personally, but they at least remembered her last name, which counted in her favor.

She was just reaching for another tissue when Melissa opened the door. Well, judged from the amount of footsteps, there was someone besides Melissa, but that was probably her sister Rachel.

"Hey, Melissa," Val greeted her, getting up off the couch and walking around the wall separating the living room from the foyer. Well, mini-foyer. "What in the world did you say to—"

Val was cut off by shock as she saw Melissa standing next to the man that had haunted her every thought for five years.

"Tyler," Val gasped.

*

Val had changed, Tyler noticed, but seemingly for the better. Her blond hair was pulled into a high ponytail and her nose was red from her cold, but she looked gorgeous to him all the same.

"Tyler," she said, sounding short of breath. Which she was.

"Val."

She had no idea it would hurt this much just to look into Tyler's eyes. He was unprepared, and unguarded, and so emotions that Val had never thought she'd see again were obvious in his blue eyes. Once again she wanted to cry and tell him she had never stopping loving him and that her heart was still broken…

But that was impossible, because then she would let him know she had been helpless for five years and she did not want him to know that. Val Lanier had a sense of pride, and that was what was governing her will at this moment, and her will was strong enough to stop her from falling into his arms.

"How on earth could you, Melissa?" Val asked, feeling betrayed. "How on earth?"

She slowly backed away, shaking her head. Tyler watched her disappear into her room.

I should have gone after her, he said, angry at himself as the door shut. I should have gone.

Save me from the silent ocean

Drown me in the raging sea

I don't quite care where I'm taken

Long as you come back to me

Come back again

Tyler dropped his bag onto the carpet and crossed to Val's room in long strides. Too late, he sighed as he knocked on the door. I'm too late.

"Go away, Tyler," came the choked sob. "Go away."

Fine, Val, I'll go. But I won't leave. I'll never leave—I'll always be right here, ready to hold you. Is that okay? Will you hate me forever for that? Miserable thoughts ran through Tyler's mind, but at least they were miserable thoughts that made a vow, strong and silent.

So take me away

Fly me high as you can

And no matter what you do

Always come back again

Come back to me

Fly me high as you can

And then come back again

Fly me high, high

Into the blue sky

Fly me high as you can

Free in the sweet air

Tell me you'll always be there

Fly high, high again