Authors Note: None of these characters are mine, except Penny, and Sheryll is a living person, so she's her own woman. Otherwise, all other characters belong to J. K. Rowling
NB-Penny's last name is pronounced like the word "dreadful". Just spelt differently.
Disclaimer: Everything in "Penny Dredfule" takes place in an alternate universe. This is not Hogwarts as we know it.

Enough with that,
Read on!


Penny Dredfule Chapter Seven
Explosions of Smut

Sheryll wasn't in her rooms when Penny arrived. She had tickled the crystal ball, and entered to find the room empty, except for Sheryll's cat Polly resting comfortably on the bed.

Penny looked around the room, trying to get a sense of who Professor Townsend was. It was a hodge podge of a room; all sorts of books and trinkets strewn around, making the rooms seem welcoming and comfortable.

Penny was about to leave when she noticed something on the windowsill. It was a book, bound in black leather. She picked it up. On the cover were the words Penny Dredfule. Penny turned to the first page, an eerie feeling setting in.

….WHEN PENNY WAS FOUR, SHE FOUND HER MOTHER SITTING AT THE KITCHEN TABLE WITH A GLASS OF VODKA AND ORANGE JUICE.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING MUM?" PENNY ASKED.

"GIVING THE BEST PERFORMANCE OF MY LIFE, PENNY. THE BEST PERFORMANCE."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MUM? ARE YOU GOING TO BE IN A MOVIE? LIKE SCARLETT O'HARA?"

"NO PENNY. I'M GOING TO DIE. FOR DEATH IS THE ULTIMATE PERFORMANCE"…..

Penny shut the book with a gasp and ran from the Sheryll's room.

* * *

"What could the book mean?" Penny thought out loud as she towards the Great Hall. "Why would Sheryll have a Memory Book about me? It's not like my life is readable or anything." She paused. "Well, at least it's not a smut book…though being in a smut book would be fun, I think."

"I would love to read about you in a smut book." Said a voice.

Penny whirled around to find Snape stalking towards her in billowing robes of green. He looked like a giant green beetle and it made Penny want to burst out in laughter.

He had also washed his hair, by the looks of it. It was clean but incredibly poofy. It stood out in his head like a perm gone wrong and made him look rather like he had gotten his nose stuck in an electrical socket. It made Penny want to laugh more.

"Just think, my precious, we could read the book and try out the positions, could we not? It would be great fun and a great way for reading to broaden our…horizons?"

Penny lost it at that point. She laughed so hard she cried, her ribs shaking with the effort of breathing and laughing at the same time.

"Thanks, Snape," she said, "I needed that. Smut book! HONESTLY!" and she continued on her way to the Great Hall for dinner.

* * *

At dinner, McGonagall sat next to her, and engaged Penny in lively conversation. Penny complimented Minerva on the gown she was wearing; it was a periwinkle coloured silk gown that flowed beautifully and accentuated her figure. McGonagall had even worn her hair down in flowing brown ringlets that framed her face and high cheekbones.

"You look beautiful tonight, Minerva."

McGonagall blushed. "And you always look beautiful, Penny."

There was a silence, and then conversation resumed for the rest of dinner. After the pudding Penny stood up, intent on a stroll around the grounds of the school. McGonagall stood as well. "Going for a nightly constitutional?" she asked.

"Yes," said Penny, "I'm starting to get holster hips that even flowing robes can't hide."

McGonnagall laughed. "Mind if I join you?"

"I'd be delighted."

* * *

Snape watched Penny and McGonagall go off together towards the doors leading to the grounds. "Hmm," he thought, "so she prefers the more feminine touch, does she? That's the ticket!" and Snape did something that few thought him capable of. He smiled.

* * *

"Harry, Ron, look!" Hermione pointed to the head table. There the three of them saw Snape, smiling and nodding to himself.

"He must be ill." Said Ron.

"I didn't think his facial muscles would allow him to do that." Harry said.

They all laughed and speculated why Snape would be smiling. "I wonder who he's in love with." Hermione asked, "She must be someone pretty special."

"I guess," Harry said, "I'm still trying to get over the fact that he spoke to us!"

"I know," Ron said, "Like he didn't hate us or something."

There was a pause in the conversation. "Your hair is less poofy tonight, Hermione." Ron said.

"What?"

"I said it's less poofy. Normally you look like Crookshanks took a nap on your head, but tonight it looks real nice."

Hermione squealed, and stomped off.

Damn, thought Ron.

* * *

"It's a beautiful night." Minerva said. She and Penny were strolling side by side, enjoying the stars and the night sky.

"Yes," said Penny, "it is."
They continued walking until they reached the place where the Whomping Willow used to be. They both sat on the stump, as it was big enough for four to sit side by side.

The silence of the night was calming and neither Penny nor McGonagall felt the need to fill the night with conversation.

* * *

Keef saw Penny and Minerva from the shadows of the Forbidden Forest. His plan was almost ready to begin. He would just have to be patient. And it was a relief that Penny didn't know what she was capable of. Being an Enchantress, she had all the power she could want at her fingertips. Only she didn't know it. That would be his greatest asset.

* * *

"Penny?"

"Yes, Minerva?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

There was a pause. "Would you kiss me?"

Another pause.

"I've never met anyone like you, Penny. I've always been cold, strict and firm. You make me feel a warmness inside that I haven't felt for a long time. I just wanted you to know that."

Penny turned towards her and looked at Minerva with an unflinching gaze. She leaned and kissed Minerva softly, perhaps trying to rekindle the emotions which McGonagall had bottled up for a long time.

It was an amazing kiss; tender and soft, full of want and need and affection. When they parted, they looked at each other for a moment before Penny said "Your rooms or mine?"

"Which is closer?" Minerva said, a faint flush on her cheeks.

"Mine."

"Lead the way." Minerva said smiling.

* * *

Peeves saw Penny and McGonagall heading for Penny's rooms, and sniffed. "How do I get her to notice me?" he said out loud as he floated along. "What can I do? I can't compete with humans!" he sobbed. "Why won't she notice me? Perhaps it's because I'm transparent?"

Peeves was in such a surly mood that, to cheer himself up, he tied a great many bright coloured bows on to Miss Norris's tail. Peeves let out a dry chuckle at Miss Norris's torment but he didn't feel any better.

* * *


Penny's classes sped by at a rapid rate. Before anyone knew it, Christmas holidays were only a few days away. Today she was teaching her students about greed and what money would do to Muggles in the Muggle world. Harry, Hermione and Ron were in the front row.

"Money can be a dangerous thing," Penny said, "It has ruined many people and more have been seduced by the greed it causes."

Harry thought of the money he had in his Gringotts vault and was thankful that he was not a greedy. In fact, he tried to share as much as he could.

"Money can ruin peoples lives and it forces many people to turn traitor on friends and family."

The bell rang. "I want one roll of parchment on what you would do with money in the Muggle world! Due when you guys get back from Holidays! Happy Christmas everyone!"

"Here's our chance." Whispered Hermione.

"For what?" said Ron.

"To ask how she can do magic!"

"What if she doesn't want to tell us?" Harry said.

"We'll have to live with that, but the least we can do is ask her!"

The three of them walked up to the front of the classroom where Penny was putting things in order. "Professor Dreadfule?"

"Yes Hermione?"

"We wanted to ask you something."

"What is it, dear?"

"Um, well, we wanted….um…" Hermione was at a loss for words.

"How is it you do magic?" Ron blurted out.

Hermione glared at him. "You couldn't be gentle about it, could you?"

"Is that what you were doing? I thought you were doing an impression of Crabbe. Sorry, my mistake."

"Why you!" Hermione composed herself. Penny chuckled lightly.

"It's alright dears, you can ask, but I don't really have an answer for you."

This made the trio pause. "What do you mean, Professor?" Harry asked.

"Truth is, I don't know how I can do magic. I just do."

"But Muggles aren't supposed to be able to!" Hermione shrieked, "It says so in Hogwarts: A History!"

"I know," Penny said, "it's a pretty weak answer, but, c'est la vie!" she shrugged and held out her hands as if to say 'I don't know', and Hermione gasped. There was a black star on Professor Dredfule's left hand!

Before Hermione could ask Penny about it, there was an earth-shattering explosion coming from the dungeons.

"What the hell was that?" Penny said.

"Beats me," said Ron, "but it came from the dungeons!"

They wasted no time. The four of them headed down into the bowels of the castle