Rick took Lesley up to the NICU for the first time since she was rushed into surgery. Rick tried the best way he could to assure Lesley everything was gonna be okay but the truth was far from itself as it was still undetermined about the baby's health and rather or not she was gonna recover.
" She's just so little Rick…. What are we supposed to do?"
" Les, she's a fighter just as you are. Soon she'll be able to be taken home."
" I want to see our other little one… Rick, please I want to see..." Lesley started to ask but Rick knew what she was asking. " Sweetheart I thought about bringing our son… but I also kept in mind of the pain it would put you in…. I don't want you to carry that right now especially as you've been through so much already..."
" Rick, please I need to see our son… I can't go on seeing one but can't see our other.. I have to see him please." Lesley looked at him as a few tears continued to run
" Oh sweetheart c'mere…" Rick started after tugging Lesley for a hug " I want you to listen to me…. Nothing that was wrong or that you did was wrong… there wasn't anything that you did. And we have a great family already, we have Jesslyn and Genesis and then there's Riley and now we have a new little mini you. Lesley you're a great mother.. just as you'll always be my special little bug."
" I still want to see our son…. Rick please… I want to give him a name."
" I'm gonna work on that but for the time being sweetheart I would feel better if you try to rest."
After a few hours Rick was true as always to his promise for Lesley to see their son while they were waiting to hear more about the status for their daughter who was still in the NICU on the ventilator waiting on for the EEG.
" It just doesn't seem to be real… looks almost like Riley did when he would be sleeping…. How could this have happened.. Everything was fine last week."
" I wish I had an answer to give you. It wasn't something that you did… it wasn't something anyone could've done. Dr DeNiro did everything she could."
" What do you think of Lyle…?" Lesley suggested. " Lyle Michael Webber."
" I think that's perfect. I think that he would've loved his name." Rick kissed Lesley on the forehead before they were about to let the nurse take Lyle back to where he had to be.
" Has anyone had anything new about our daughter.?"
Just as Rick was gonna try to assure and give Lesley an answer, Dr. Meadows had just come back in with Lesley's labs and the EEG results for their remaining newborn
" Your labs and your blood work are normal, everything is looking better than before… how are you feeling otherwise."
" I'm okay, we had just started a while ago with spending alittle time… and we named our son."
" I want you to understand that both DeNiro and I did everything we could. Following your ultrasound, it showed free fluid around near the placenta where you had the heavy bleeding following when your blood pressure went from 102/65 to 160/120. Because that was a big jump and because you are an organ recipient we had no choice but to deliver when we did." Dr Meadows tried the best to explain and answer what she could
" Our daughter, is she gonna get better from all of this.?" Rick spoke up
" As of right now she cannot sustain breathing on her own without the support of the ventilator and her motor functions are not responsive. Looking at her EEG results… I'm very sorry but the likelihood that she would get to live beyond a life outside of the NICU is very small."
" B…but she's got a chance doesn't she..." Lesley spoke up trying not to think of the worst.
" I'm sorry. But the EEG shows that there is no brain activity or function… following after delivery.. at this present time, it's up to you when to turn the machines off and to remove life support." Dr. Meadows exclaimed and later added " I'm gonna give you some time. I'm very sorry for your loss and I hope to wish you the best in the future."
Rick refused to leave Lesley's side or in general when they had to hear that their biggest fear was now reality that they now lost both twins. " I should've been more careful…. Maybe if I had you bring me here sooner…." Rick placed his hand on hers.
" Lesley don't do that… it wasn't something that you did.. sometimes these things happen and we can't always predict that there would be any or no complications. Sweetheart, you are a great mother. I see no reason to question or to ever think or say that you're not. And I'm the happiest man on the planet."
" I don't know how much more I can do this Rick…. I just don't understand why we always have to go through this. Why can't we just be happy."
" Lesley I am happy… I'm happy because to look at you and to be at your side for every moment I couldn't ask for anything else or want anything else. Lesley we are blessed in many ways not just because we have each other… but we have our girls and we have Riley who loves you more than anything else. I have no doubt that Lyle and our daughter would've loved you just the same. But there's gonna come a point where we have to be grateful with what we have for each other."
" I don't know what I were to do if I didn't have you by my side."
" Lesley I can't even begin to think of a life without having you with me. I had to do that about 4 times already and sweetheart, it made me want to go check myself into a facility for the insane. Lesley you are everything to me and if I were to lose you….. I don't know what I would do." Rick hugged Lesley just before he placed her back in bed.
After Lesley was able to get a couple hours of rest and she was released, she stayed by the NICU even when Rick wanted her to head home.
" Sometimes I question how or what I did for Rick to be the kind of person that he is…. He's just so gentle but he makes sure that I'm okay… and I'm taken care of." Lesley was talking with Bobbi for awhile until Rick was gonna be out from surgery with a critical patient though she didn't count that he was already out and coming up from behind
" I've thought and I've asked myself that very same thing about you…. But I don't need to get an answer because it doesn't matter when I'm with you." Rick spoke up
" I thought you were still in surgery with a patient." Lesley hugged Rick when he wrapped his arm around her waist.
" I was but there wasn't much like pre op suggested so here I am with extra time on my hands just for my special little bug. How's my favorite little bug.?"
" I don't know…. I don't want to let her go.. I want her to be allowed to have a chance at her life… but she can't and it isn't right or fair." Lesley admitted trying to keep herself together
Rick had Lesley sit down in the lounge of the NICU so he could talk to her for alittle bit. " Lesley nothing that happened was your fault. Not everything can be predicted or in our control. Everything that you were advised and told to do, we did as such… and I was lucky when I brought you in. And Kathy was straight about it and said to me had I waited until your next appointment or waited in general I very well could have lost you…"
" Rick, I should have known that something was wrong… I'm her mother and I didn't…." Lesley slightly started to get upset
" Lesley there was nothing that you could have done. Is it fair? Of course it isn't… but it isn't your fault… especially because you're a wonderful mother and we're still very lucky. We have Jesslyn and Genesis and we also have Riley who is the happiest little guy in the house…. I know you don't want to let her go… I don't either but we know like Lyle she'll be with Laura and when it's our time in about 40 years, they'll be waiting for us all together."
After finally finding a name for their daughter, Lesley was able to find the courage to turn off the ventilator to let her go. After taking Lesley home Rick checked in on Riley who was asleep and the girls were in their room watching TV.
~~~
Going into a few years later after November 3rd Lesley and Rick were starting to put stuff together for the upcoming holidays but Rick continued to worry about Lesley after everything she has been put through and her condition was always on his mind
" Is there something I can get for you? Maybe something to eat or something to drink?" Rick asked him hoping she would lean to him for support like she's always done before.
" Maybe in alittle while, sweetheart… I just.. I just don't feel good right now so I think I'm just gonna go and rest..." Lesley answered hoping she wasn't gonna worry him more
" Lesley… honey you have to at least eat alittle of something you can't go through the day without eating anything. You are starting to lose weight and I don't want you to lose anymore than you should."
Rick insisted but wasn't trying to make himself look like a jerk but he knew better than to not let Lesley go without eating when she was already losing weight and he also had to watch on her heart condition from the transplant.
Shortly after Rick finally got Lesley to eat, Rick helped her to relax for alittle while before taking her up to bed to rest. Worried about her as usual, Rick had a few appointments scheduled for the next week so when Thanksgiving came, everything would be straight and okay as planned.
" Dad, is everything okay?" Genesis asked
" Everything is fine. Why are you up right now, you have any idea what time it is?"
" I couldn't sleep so I got up…. Something wrong?"
" No… everything is fine. It's just the usual follow ups that your mother needs with our colleagues is all. Come on up to bed now… you have school tomorrow." Rick answered and made sure she went to bed
After the following day, Rick made sure to be with Lesley during her appointments, but was concerned when Steve ordered a pet scan to rule out anything that involved cancer.
" Rick, I will be fine, would you stop that. Stop getting so worried about me."
" Lesley, that is easier said than done when it comes to you. When you never have to be here as a patient again, I will then stop getting so worried about you." Rick shot back.
After waiting for about an hour for the pet scan to come back, Lesley started to worry that something was wrong and it didn't make Rick worry any less.
" Steve, are these recent?" Jerry asked when looking over her scans
" Yes they are…. I had just ordered these to possibly rule cancer out but looking at them, I wanted to consult with you first."
" It's a good thing that you did and that you caught this…. If this has been ignored any longer it would've been difficult to treat." Jerry said looking at her scans
Jerry and Steve walked together to go and talk to Lesley and Rick about the scans knowing that it wasn't gonna all be on the good end with what her scans showed but thankfully it was caught early enough that Lesley was at stage 3 and it was more serious and the minute they walked in, Lesley immediately gripped onto Rick's hand for support
" Your scans came back, showing what was gonna be suspected from your blood work.. the good news is that we caught it still early enough to effectively treat. However it's not gonna be easy as you are at stage 3 with breast cancer." Jerry carefully started to explain the situation
" And this means Chemotherapy and radiation therapy and additional medications…." Lesley replied and looked at Rick alittle scared
" Sweetheart I'm gonna be right here at your side don't you worry about that… Jerry, could you and I talk in the hall?"
" Rick… I don't know that I can do this…. I am really scared."
" You won't do it alone. I'm gonna be here right by your side." Rick took ahold of Lesley's hand
Jerry followed Rick into the hall. " Give it to me straight up Jerry. I want to know what you are gonna do about this and for my wife…. No games about this."
" Rick it's gonna be rough for her there's no question but she has a real good chance that treatment will work and she'll be cancer free. I want to start her right away after I concur with her other doctors and I then have an exact picture to start her treatment right away. She will have a battle ahead of her but I'm confident that she will pull through and will beat it."
~~~
Starting her treatment was easy but like Jerry said it wasn't gonna be easy afterwards because sure enough while home Lesley had a difficult time with her usual routine and keeping anything down when going to eat something even if it were small.
" Riley is sound asleep on his little truck bed that we got him for Christmas. I think he tired himself out…. How are you feelin'.?" Rick sat down by Lesley's side after helping her sit up alittle more
" terrible but I'm hanging in there as best as I can… especially because I have a wonderful man that looks after me and makes sure that I am okay."
" You will get better and I will not rest until you do… I'm gonna have dinner ready soon and then maybe later tonight you and I could maybe go for a walk and then watch the sun set for the evening." Rick suggested hoping that Lesley would be up for it for later.
" I think it's a lovely idea Rick…. And I hope that I will feel okay enough to take that walk with you..."
Not feeling good, Lesley had decided to try to rest as much as she can after she goes back for Chemo. Rick continued to make sure that Lesley was taken care of while he also made sure the kids were doing what they needed to and Riley was doing okay.
" Girls come on, it's almost time that you eat dinner and then get ready for bed. Tomorrow morning is gonna be tough for your mother because I have to take her back for the doctor so they can make sure that she's doing better."
" Jesslyn hasn't come down. I don't know what is wrong if anything… her door is locked and she wasn't answering…. Dad, I really think something is wrong because she hasn't really been herself and she's had problems with these other girls who have been bothering us for awhile."
" Stay here with your brother I'm gonna go and check on her while I check on your mother anyway."
Rick went upstairs to check on Lesley first just to see if she needed anything or if she wanted something to eat before he went to see that Jesslyn was okay.
" Sweetheart…. I hate to wake you but dinner's ready if you want something." Rick asked before he went to get Jesslyn
" I'll go down in alittle bit….. I want to take it slow today.. The Chemo hasn't really been agreeing with me at the moment." Lesley admitted as Rick helped her to stand up to help her go to the bathroom. " how about we do this Sweetheart, I'll have the kids eat first… and later in alittle while I make something light for you… I have to get your medication anyway."
" Sometimes I try to figure out what it is that I did to deserve you."
" I have that same question about you with myself." Rick hugged Lesley to him and kissed her on the forehead before helping her lay down and he stepped out to talk to Jesslyn
" Jesslyn I need you to open your door and come eat…. Whatever is upsetting or bothering you we can talk about it later but you have to come and eat dinner..." Rick waited a few minutes before he called out her name again
Not hearing or getting a response from Jesslyn had Rick concerned so Rick had to force a way in and what he saw, he wasn't expecting. " Jesslyn I need you to open your eyes… Come on, it's Dad.."
" Rick what's go..." Lesley stopped in a mid sentence when she walked in and found that Rick was having to do CPR.
" Rick what happened….. What's going on.!" Lesley got down beside him and Jesslyn
" I don't know… I only know what Genesis told me… go and tell her to call an ambulance and notify the hospital. I want you back in bed to relax." Rick continued CPR hoping it wasn't too late.
" Rick, I'm not gonna leave my baby like this…." Lesley stated but Rick stopped her. " Lesley you're not in the best shape here… with everything you've already been through I don't want you to stay here…" Rick spoke up and stopped a second to recollect himself " Lesley she's gonna be fine because I'm not gonna stop…. I know that you want to help her but there's nothing you can do right now other than to take care of you… when we get her through all of this she's not gonna want to just wake up to me… the first one she's gonna want to see is you so please Lesley let me do what I have to do to help her."
" Rick, please don't ask me to leave my child… I lost too many of my children already. I can't add Jesslyn too." Lesley tried not to get upset.
After finally reaching the hospital Lesley stayed at Jesslyn's side refusing to leave even for alittle bit afraid that something was gonna change and not for the better.
" How could this have happened Rick… we've always known if any of the kids needed us… we've always been there…. How could we not have seen this coming."
" Lesley, we can't blame ourselves… she hadn't come to us about what was going on. It was Genesis who said something to me before I went to check on you and then to go talk to her… we're gonna figure it out and she'll pull through this." Rick tried his best to comfort Lesley.
" Where's Genesis and Riley.?"
" They're with Jessie. I'm gonna take you home.. you need to get some rest especially because you are still in treatment." Rick insisted, hoping Lesley wasn't gonna argue about it.
Going home to rest, Lesley hoped to get a few hours but trying to relax, Lesley couldn't help but feel guilty when seeing that Jesslyn was in trouble as she also saw that there were prescription pills that were on her bedroom floor.
" Rick…. These were my prescription medications….. I thought they were put up like you've always had them incase I needed something… why would she do this. Why would our 11 year old little girl go and do this..."
" Lesley this is not your fault. And I promise you that I will get to the bottom of this and I will get to the truth."
Rick got on to the phone and called Jessie to talk to Genesis who told him earlier about something that was going on at the school " Genesis I want the truth from you right now, what has been going on at school. And who."
" We've been having trouble with these girls at school who we unfortunately have gym with… they've been really going after Jesslyn lately and yesterday I finally snapped and told them off and I almost shoved them. I told Jesslyn not to let things get to her because that's what the other girls wanted… especially because what they last said to her, is why I stepped in and got in their faces..." Genesis answered and explained the situation
" And what was it that they were saying to her…?"
" Either she does it or they'll do it for her and they'd get away with it."
" Are you telling me they threatened your sister's life and told her either she ends it herself or they'll do it?!" Rick spoke up trying not to sound angry
" That's exactly what I'm telling you Dad… I tried my best to help her."
" Sweetheart, your mother and I are proud of you that you tried to help her. You did nothing wrong. We'll call you as soon as anything new comes up." Rick said when getting off the phone
" I'm going to talk to Bert…. Do you want to go and talk to him with me?" Rick asked.
" I think I should stay incase Steve has something to tell us… Rick, why do you have that look.."
" Because Genesis just explained the situation and why our 11 year old little girl is fighting for her life. And I'm gonna deal with it." Rick started to head to the elevator and leave for the PCPD
~~~
" Jesslyn you can't stay here….. you have to go back and wake up.." Laura stated
" How do you know my name…. I don't even know you and you don't even know me."
" Except that I do know who you are… just like I know who your mother is and she needs you to pull through.."
" You don't know who my family is… how could you.!" Jesslyn stood up
" Because Jesslyn I am your older sister Laura. I am Laura Webber Spencer… Jesslyn go back and wake up. Our mother needs you more than you know if she were to lose you too she would decide that the treatment she needs would need to end. You are her only chance at keeping her motivation to beat the cancer."
~~~
" Jesslyn I know that you can hear me…. I just need you to wake up and come back to me angel please.. I can't get through saying goodbye to you too when we just got past through losing your brother and your sister. So please baby please Jesslyn wake up." Lesley leaned over hoping that Jesslyn would wake up and later while Lesley was asleep next to Jesslyn, Rick noticed that Jesslyn's stats started to rise for the better.
" Les Sweetheart, look..." Rick pointed towards Jesslyn when she started to wake up
" Jesslyn baby… I'm right here and so is your father….. you're gonna be okay."
" Don't ever scare us like this again. We thought we were gonna lose you Snoopi."
After another 2 weeks Rick and Lesley took Jesslyn home just in time as Thanksgiving was around the corner and things started to look up in spite of Lesley's treatment and her ups and downs from it. Lesley knew it was difficult but she wasn't about to let her health issues spoil their holiday.
" Jesslyn, could you and I talk for alittle bit..." Lesley asked
" We always talk…. About everything."
" Sweetheart, I want to talk to you about why you tried to end your life. Baby why didn't you come to me or your dad about what was going on. You know we would've done something to help you." Lesley sat next to Jesslyn when Rick came in
" I'm sorry… I thought I could handle it on my own.. I didn't mean to hurt anybody."
" Jesslyn you didn't hurt anybody… scared us maybe, but you didn't hurt anybody… We just want to understand why you didn't come to us." Rick joined and sat on the other side of Jesslyn
" Because you had enough problems… I didn't want to be another…" Jesslyn admitted
" Jesslyn…. You are my baby… if there is something that I know I can help you with I need you to come to me and talk to me… when something is wrong with you or about something you're going through then the other things me and your dad are dealing with, they get put aside because as a parent we will always put you first…"
" Your mother's right Jesslyn… any issue or problem you have will come first before anything else just like with anything that your mother needs… I drop what I have to do and take care of her first without question. You don't have to hide it, or pretend about anything if you feel like something is wrong or someone is harassing you… come and tell us and I guarantee for you I will put an end to it… because like your sister and your brother you're our little girl and that Jesslyn will never change."
" I'm really sorry I never meant to hurt or scare anyone… I just wanted it all to stop." Jesslyn slightly started to cry but felt better talking with her parents together
" You try to get some rest… When your dad and I get back from the doctor's, maybe we can pick you up and we can look for something fun to do..."
" Do you have to go back all the time… I like it better when you're home with me."
Lesley sat back down beside Jesslyn for a moment " Sweetheart it won't be forever… soon the doctor will tell us that I won't need the chemo and the radiation any more and when it's over I'll be good as new.. but I have to get better first."
Rick helped Lesley get ready to go for her appointment and treatment and made sure everything was okay with the kids. Rick still had that overwhelming feeling of the rage he held when he learned why his own daughter tried to commit suicide. Hoping to have a good afternoon Rick stayed at Lesley's side while she was in for Chemotherapy.
" Rick, what are we gonna do about the situation with Jesslyn? We have to do something about it." Lesley stated granted that she wasn't really feeling well by the middle of treatment.
