ch8 Chapter 8: Treatments

A month after her initial diagnosis, Selphie had fallen into a routine that revolved around chemotherapy and plans for moving out of the Garden. She, Irvine, Rinoa and Squall had been planning on leaving once all of them were SeeDs. The environment of the Garden was beginning to stifle them. Selphie at one point in her life had thought she would never want to leave the comfortable surroundings of the Garden system but now she couldn't wait to leave. She supposed it was because she was growing up. Selphie had yet to inform the doctors of her decision to leave but she figured it wasn't their business. She would be 18 in July and she really didn't think anyone could stop her. Besides she'd already become a SeeD and she could always go back to the Garden to see Dr. Kadawaki, at least until the hospital was completed in Balamb.
One bright morning in April, Selphie sat in the Balamb Garden infirmary hooked up to more tubes and wires then she cared to count, each giving what could save her life. The chemotherapy made her ill, it was almost worse than the pain of the cancer itself but not quite. Selphie was on so many painkillers these days that she almost never thought about the pain. But constantly she was throwing up and dizzy from the treatments she recieved twice a week. She shifted and moaned when a sudden sharp pain ripped through her weak body.
Irvine had been sitting next to her reading an issue of Weapons Monthly. He threw a worried look at her, "Selphie? Are you ok? Do you want me to get Dr. Kadawaki or Dr. Feldman?" Dr. Fedlman came to the Garden each week for Selphie's chemptherapy treatments.
She shook her head, "No... I just wish this was over with... How much longer? I can't see the clock from here."
Irvine got up and went to look at the clock, "About fifteen minutes. Hold in there you can make it."
She sighed and closed her eyes. Irvine watched her and he stared amazed at her. She was so much stronger then any of the rest of them would have been if they'd gotten cancer. Selphie rarely complained and Irvine knew he would have been a bigger baby about it if it had been him. Her eyes flew open and she caught him looking. He quickly turned back to his magazine.
"Were you looking at me Irvy?" She teased him softly.
"Ah... You're so beautiful lying there. I was just thinking about what a champ you are. God only knows I could never be the heroine that you're being about this." He shrugged and caught her free hand in his.
Selphie shook her head, "Irvine... you know I'm scared so much of all of this. I'm no hero."
"You're doing a much better job at it then I would, babydoll, " He kissed her lightly on the cheek and looked up to see Rinoa fly into the room.
"Hey Selphie!" Rinoa chirped, "I brought something to cheer you up and take your mind off this icky medicine!"
Selphie giggled, "What?"
"Bridal magazines! Zell's mom wants us to be her bridesmaids! I am so excited! She's gonna be a great stepmom for me I think. I'm not sure about Zell and my dad. But me and Liza are really bonding!" Rinoa threw the stack of magazines down on the bed and Selphie struggled to sit up.
Irvine sighed. Girl talk drove him crazy as much as he loved girls. He really didn't want to sit in there and look at frilly dresses. Irvine may have been a ladies man but he was a very masculine one at least in his opinion.
"Um Selphie? I'm going to go an get something to eat real fast. I'll see you later." Irvine announced.
Selphie nodded but she was already absorbed in the magazines, "Ok I love you. See you later."
Rinoa pointed to a lavender gown, "Liza says she wants purple to be the bridesmaids colors... Oh and here's a picture of her dress! Isn't it gorgeous? She'll look so lovely but brides always do. Anyway Zell is giving his mom away. I can't believe he actually agreed seeing as how he's against this whole wedding thing anyway but there you go."
Selphie smiled absently as Rinoa's nervous chatter. She knew that Rinoa was uncertain around her now but then everyone else was too. No one knew how to act and no one knew what to say to Selphie about her illness. Irvine was the only one who treated her the same as before and even he'd been extra cautious lately about what he said and how he acted around her. At least her friends cared about her and Selphie reassured herself that their love for her was the most important thing.
"Rinoa? Do you remember your mother?" She asked out of the blue.
Rinoa was a little surprised by the sudden question, "Some things I remember... Why?"
"You're lucky. I have no idea who my mother even is. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Where did I come from? Who was my family? That kind of thing... I've decided I need to find out, Rinoa. I need closure on my past because if I'm going to die I want to die feeling complete."
"Selphie! Don't talk like that! You aren't going to die!" Rinoa was aghast and dropped all of her bridal magazines to the floor.
Selphie had known Rinoa wouldn't understand, "Rinoa... I might die and I have to accept that whether I want to or not. I hope I live. But Rinoa, right now I want to find out who my mother was. Where I was born... that kind of thing. I have to for my own peace of mind and I want you to help me. I want all of you to help me. I've already talked about this with Irvine and he agrees with me. Consider it a SeeD mission of sorts."
Rinoa hugged Selphie tightly, "Of course I'll help you. It's just I don't want to think of you dying..."
"Of course not. I don't either. I was thinking the first person to ask would be Edea. I lived in her orphanage so she might know something. After all the name 'Selphie Tilmitt' had to have come from somewhere and Edea must know where or something. Irvine said he'd travel there with me on the Ragnarok this weekend and we'd like you and Squall to come too."
Rinoa agreed, "Sure! But what about Zell and Quistis?"
"Zell had a date with Lindy to Deling City to the theater and Quistis said she had plans but she wouldn't discuss them."
Rinoa looked thoughtful, "Hmm maybe Quisty has a secret lover?"
"Maybe... or maybe not! This is Quistis after all and when was the last time she had a social life?" Selphie giggled.
Rinoa said, "Yeah well we can only wonder. I just want the best for her. Did you see her with the headmaster at the festival last month?"
They'd talked about it a million times but they both loved rehashing it, "Yeah maybe Rinoa, he's her man. He's too old for her but you know if they were an item I'd be happy because Quistis is my friend."
"Yeah me too. Now let's get back to the bridal magazines for a while, " Rinoa reached behind her to pick up the discarded magazines and the two girls soon forgot about Quistis' mysterious love life. And Selphie managed to forget her cancer worries for awhile even though she'd noticed her hair was starting to fall out that morning in the shower.