It was any regular Thursday for the turtle family

It was any regular Thursday for the turtle family. The sewers were as quiet as sewers would get, and mid day break was just ending.

In the dojo a lone turtle trained, getting his extra hours in of solo practice. He didn't mind that his brothers spent the early afternoon lounging about eating. It was their time. But he. He used his time to hone the precision in his ninja skills. He must do so to keep his place. Once his brother told him that excessive exersize was rumored to disapate pent up sexual energy. This amused him. Apparently Leonardo was a sex god. Good one. But he'd take a good work out over a woman. At least today he would.

The phone rang and he wiped the naughtying thoughts from his head. Drawing his tense arm though the air he moved into a new kata, blowing images from his mind with pursed lips.

A few seconds later his little brother Mike passed to see who had called. It was the day after groceries and he had been spending the afternoon in the kitchen. A fading blue apron was tight tight around his shell, and blotched like bleach with a cream sauce. He had taken his pans off the burners to check on the phone. He was hoping for a call from a magazine. About his poems he sent in. He had forced himself to revise them several times, and had a disgusted yet proud view of them by this time. Maybe, maybe someone else liked them too....

Raphael had answered the phone. Apparently he had hauled his ass off the couch at last. There was an ass groove and a bag of chips from where he had been sitting. The TV blared a basketball commentary over a set of slow motion playbacks.

And the phone was off the hook, swinging about like a Ted Kennedy after 10. And there was Raphael who stood beside the booth. Holding Klunk.

Mike froze and tensed as if he had been stabbed with a million needles. His brother continued to pet the cat. He could just imagine those fingers closing around the fluffy scruff of neck, hurling the cat across the room. Ohhhhh, no no no no no.....

"Uh.... Raph?" Mike asked in a little voice. Raphael looked up at him like he hadn't heard him come in. "Can.... can I have Klunk?" He asked very carefully. Very slowly.

A perplexed expression came over Raphaels face. Klunk nuzzled his nose into Raphs arm and he gave another long slow stroke. "Um.... are.... are you going to hurt Klunk?" Mikes shoulders shrunk in on themselves, although he was preparing himself to lunge forth to save his cat. His brothers eyes opened wider and gave a very slow nod.

"Uh... yeah... get outa here... you.... stinkin'..... lousy..... cat!" Raphael demanded. Klunk purred and bonked his head against Raphs plastron, rubbing it up and down. Noooo, Klunk no!!! Mike blanched. He watched in horror as Raphael leaned down to bite the cat. He said some angry words of warning at it and Klunk looked up at him. He then stood up in Raphs arms and began to hiss. Fur stood straight and a fuzzy tail perked to the sky. Before Raphael could react Klunk tore out of den and into Mike's room. "Stupid cat." Raphael tightened his arms over his chest.

"Yeah..... so.... who called?" Mike relaxed and went to the phone, disaster averted. He picked it up and brought it to his ear drum. Raph tried to grab it back but he instinctively turned away. A wide grin came over his face as he listened. Raph was doing something bad. And he caught him. Ha ha.

"Wuzzah! AAAAAAHH!!" A woman in the distance screamed. What the hell? Mike dodged another grab by Raph. Then he just gave up and stood back, not at all pleased. There was more yelling and things breaking- he took the phone away from his ear and looked at it like maybe it would show him a picture of what was happening. What do you know, it didn't.

"What is this?" He asked.

"I dunno." Raph spat out. Mikes left brow ridge raised as far as he could make it. Raphael watched him still for a second before taking the phone back. "Wrong number."

"Was it." Mike followed Raph out, being sure to tail him obnoxiously close.

"Practice guys!" A deep voice bellowed from the dojo. Mike groaned. He hadn't finished carmelizing his flan. Maybe Splinter would let him sit out till he finished.

"Practice?"

"You were the last one watching, you gotta turn the tv off." Mike declared jogging into the dojo. "Master Splinter!" He called, running up to his father, who was already watching him enter. He was given a brief lecture about planning his time. But by brief, it is innanely long to Mike. His flan is burning, he must run.

Before he left though he caught Raph and Leos' facing off to warm up with a pair of bos. Even before Mike can make it out the door Raph gets knocked over on Leos opening move. They all have a good laugh, and he's outa there.

The flan is salvagable and he sees that it carmelizes all nice before pouring it into molds. The smell is nice, and he can't wait until he can dig into the sugary goodness. Mmmmm.... sugar. He grabs a palmful of sugar from the bag before jogging back into the dojo, simultaniously removing his apron. I'm running naked, ha ha-ha ha-ha-ha.

Back into the dojo Don and Splinter are watching Raphael on the ground. Leonardo has become fed up and spins his bo to release tension. Mike keeps one eye on his brother as he goes to Don to begin their spar. Raphael clumsily rolls off his shell and onto his feet, wobbling a little. Splinter is going out to see what is the matter, but Leo doesn't see him. He sweeps Raphs feet out from under him, after telling him he's going to do so.

Raphael hits the floor again with a disquieting 'clunk'. The whole room goes silent. Mike and Don stop. Leonardo holds his bo in mid swipe.

Splinter grunts for Leo to halt and hurries to his sons side. They all gather around slowly, like maybe he's going to throw up. Four pair of concerned eyes look down on him. He looks back up, trying to read their eyes. Before he can speak Splinter asks him if he's feeling well.

"Are you feeling well, Raphael?" An arthritic raw hand rests over the green brow. There's no fever. Raph shys away from the hand and works himself up to a sitting position.

"Yeah, I'm alright. I just, uh... just a little distracted." He mumbles off. Leonardo steps back and frowns, neither convicned or approving. Splinter helps him to his feet and tells him to sit beside him till he's feeling better. Raph looked at him for a time before following his master back to the bench. Leo and Don parred off while Mike worked on his sword play. Every few minutes he would wary a glance to the side of the room, waiting for his brother to join him. He never did.

It was any regular Thursday for the turtle family. The sewers were as quiet as sewers would get, and mid day break was just ending.

In the dojo a lone turtle trained, getting his extra hours in of solo practice. He didn't mind that his brothers spent the early afternoon lounging about eating. It was their time. But he. He used his time to hone the precision in his ninja skills. He must do so to keep his place. Once his brother told him that excessive exersize was rumored to disapate pent up sexual energy. This amused him. Apparently Leonardo was a sex god. Good one. But he'd take a good work out over a woman. At least today he would.

The phone rang and he wiped the naughtying thoughts from his head. Drawing his tense arm though the air he moved into a new kata, blowing images from his mind with pursed lips.

Raphael pushed his ass off the couch, grumbing at his inconvenience. If it wasn't for him he was going to hang up. He was tired of playing everyones seceratary. Just because he watched TV he had to answer the fucking phone for everyone.

He grabbed the phone off the hook, making the sounds as sharp as possible so the person on the other line would know his displeasure. Bringing the receiver up to the side of his face he barked a greeting.

"Yeah."

"Are you alone?" A voice asked.

"What the, yeah?" He hardly got the word out before she continued.

"Darksome and shining moon

Harken to this rune

Switch these souls through this cord

Until we wish return

In the name of the lady and lord

So mote it be!"

"Hey-" It felt like a jolt of electricity bolted through him. His eyes bulged and every muscle contracted.

Sucking and spinning

Down and down

Through and in

Out and from

Raphael tried to call out, but couldn't gasp a breath. His eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted for a moment. But his eyes opened again in a finishing blink.

The TV was gone, all he knew was he was no longer at home. A few hammocks and drying flowers was all he took the time to take in.

"HEY! WHAT THE FU-" He finally called out. Wait a second... my voice....?! He brought a hand to his throat. My hand!!

"Easy there, just calm down." A soft voice came to him. He jerked his head up, trying to ignore the sensation of something brushing his shoulders. A pair of sea green eyes looked down on him with a forced comfort. A girls face. Sleek and smokey beige hair. He was sitting, and she was looking down on him.

The phone was in his hand and he looked down. His grip upon it was startling.

"Wuzzah-" He caught site of a shirt. And a pair of breasts. "AAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!" And his voice, there it was again. Light and soprano. His hands, they were small and delicate and soft. There was hair were there was none before! Long dark wavy hair that was tickling his shoulders! He was wearing clothes! Clothes that fit! His skin! It was a human color! "AAAAAHHH!!!" He yelled again, jumping out of his seat. He hurled the phone away and knocked over its table in the process.

"Woah! It's ok! It's ok! Please, settle down!" The girl pleaded. Raphael looked down at himself. He was wearing a skirt.

"AAAAAHHH!!!!"