By Chustang Sundust
Up. Down. Up. Down.
Each time the baseball landed back in his hands, it seemed like
forever was burnt deeper into his already scarred and burned mind. And
each time it went up, the shadow cast against the window seemed to draw
his eyes back out into the storm. His marble blue eyes paused on the water-streaked
glass; with lightning lighting them up like diamonds, and Jim looked back
to his constant tossing.
He wasn't too worried about the rest of the gang getting caught
in the storm. Hah. He was almost happy. It would be so funny to see Gene
wet and sick. A mischievous smile came across his smile. Not to mention
sore, after getting shot for stepping on that nail. It's not my fault he
didn't watch his step…
With a new upbeat to his rhythmic pattern of throwing, watching
the shadow play up and down, catching, and throwing again, Jim had pushed
all worries out of his mind. The blonde twelve year old had too occupied
with getting Gene his birthday present, Aisha's first litter, and the planning
for the wedding to be thinking about anything else. It wasn't possible
to him that it could all end now, when the roller coaster of life was just
going over the hill. Jim couldn't help smiling again. The wedding… it had
been forced, after Sean was born.
He looked up to the small bundle of messy red hair that sucked
on his thumb quietly, snuggled up in the corner of the couch with his father's
cloak barely wrapped around him, while the rest sagged on the floor. The
boy, barely six months old, was a spitting image of Gene, yet with large,
coffee brown eyes from Melfina that were constantly wide and breeding poetic
sense. Sean had been talking for a week now, with lines of prodigy much
like Jim's shining bright, and was already sparking up artistically. He'd
called Gene 'big kid romantic with mean' and Mel 'sugar smily and butterfly
with arms.' But now he was too tired to grace the world and had fallen
asleep waiting for Gene and Mel to get home from the clinic.
Jim noticed the dark gold blanket slipping from his shoulders,
and the tiny body began to stir. With a smile, he pulled the cloak around
his mini-Aniki and kissed his forehead. Sean just fell into a deeper sleep
and settled down into silence. The blonde sat back, admiring and wondering.
The main reason Gene had gathered up the gut to propose to Mel was because
Sean was born. Jim began wondering if he had done it on purpose…
Aisha had taken her litter of three baby Ctarl-Ctarl to the city
limits for a night of cat-fun. Which, Jim knew probably knew, was just
pouncing and playing in a field, chasing after pocket gophers. But it was
her family after all. It was apparent she'd longed for the company of her
old comrades and left home and her husband to come back for a week. Looking
out the window, he knew she'd be back in the morning. They were probably
out playing in the lightning, being immortal and all. Jim could just see
the faces of those cute little kittens; Atlanis, with her long and stringy
white hair and a blue star on her cheek, Angel, who had the same hair as
Aisha, and loved to play pranks, and of course, the heroic but clumsy Rival,
who had caramel colored hair.
Jim yawned suddenly, and his eyes fell upon the clock. 10:17.
It was getting late. Gene and Mel must have gone somewhere, like dinner
and a movie or something mushy like that. The blonde stretched, and then
settled himself down on the other side of the couch, drawing the rest of
Gene's cloak over him. His blue eyes fluttered sleepily and he was drifting
off to sleep when the phone rang suddenly and he smiled drowsily. He knew
it was Gene; no clients ever called this late, and anyway, they couldn't
take jobs at night anyway without beforehand notice. Jim just relaxed and
let him talk through the answering machine. There was no need to answer.
Gene was probably just calling to say he'd be out all night or something
like that.
The machine beeped into the dark quiet of Starwind and Hawking,
and Jim settled into the cushions of the couch as the familiar voice came
through the speaker. It was machine toned, and it was kind of fun to listen
to him talk. Gene's voice was strained and it was nearly raspy. He sighed…
realizing Jim was just going to listen, and talked.
"Listen Jim… I know this is really, really, really short notice
for you, and me and Melfina too. I was saving this speech for my deathbed,
wherever it might have been… but you'll need to hear this. I've talked
to Mel and even though it's crazy, she believes me. I've already called
Fred and Clyde to well, say… and we stopped and talked to Aisha and the
kittens already, so I guess all that's left is to say goodbye to you and
Sean, buddy…"
Jim bolted up. No…
"I'm really sorry to leave so suddenly… but I can feel it Jim.
Everything is brighter, the sky is blacker and the stars are shining so
bright… it's like going blind with color… I know it's my last night. Jim…
remember the night your dad died? Jim? Are you there?"
The trembling shell called Jim could only numbly nod, tears blurring
his eyes. He knew it was futile to talk; Gene couldn't hear him.
"You said the night before he died he told you about seeing new
things. Like how the flowers go to sleep as the sun sets? Like how the
streetlamps shine brighter for the couples who stop under them?" Gene laughed
softly and sighed deeply. "…I'll tell you now that it's amazing, what he
must have seen. Jim. I can almost see Melfina's heart beating when she
breathes. It's so beautiful. How come you never told me living was so precious,
Jim? I'm not scared Jim, so I'm sorry you can't hold my hand. I won't be
fainting anytime soon. I know it'll be over tomorrow, but just listen Jim
before you start to cry. 'An outlaw must be a lone wolf without anything
holding him down' someone once said to me. I am an outlaw, and I can't
be tempted to hold onto anything. I know it's my last time I'll talk to
you, but promise me you'll take care of Sean. I know it might be much with
just Suzuka, Mel and you, but maybe Aisha will stay and help. I took care
of you, and it's your turn buddy, okay?
"When he wakes up, don't be scared to tell him the truth. My
father died when I was twelve, too. I guess it's a cruel irony then, for
me, your bro, to die when you're twelve. Don't lie to Sean. He can tell
the difference between lies and truth, trust me. It'll just hurt more if
you hide it from him. He'll dig into it sooner or later.
"Listen, Jim. I've never been sentimental around you too much,
but hey… I couldn't let my little brother see me cry, could I? No, I guess
I was the little brother to you. It's going to hurt Jim, it all does, and
I want you to move on okay? No crying for Gene Starwind, you hear me? I
always hated crying, and I'll have no one depressed. Just have fun buddy.
The castor is in my room. I'm leaving it to Sean, and I want you to teach
Sean to use it, even if he won't be a bounty hunter, okay? Save the cloak,
and give it to him when he's twelve. And another thing…."
There was a pause. Jim tightened his throat, not wanting to hear
the words that came next. No, Aniki, no! Don't tell me this! Please! You
promised you'd never leave! The kid desperately rushed up to the answering
machine and his panicked, misty blue eyes flickered across the metal thing,
and his heart began to throb painfully. "Aniki! No!" he screamed at the
machine, but even if Gene could hear, it was impossible to stop him.
"Bury me back home in the moors."
"ANIKI!"
"Goodbye, Genius James."
And he hung up.
The next morning fell across bloodshot eyes and a soaked couch,
revealing the ravages of death had left its mark on the empty shell of
Jim Hawking, who held a sleeping child to his shoulder as he slumped weakly
on the couch. He couldn't bear to cast his eyes toward the phantom of his
Aniki who slept quietly against him, yet he felt as if Gene had left a
bit of himself for condolence for the devastated Jim. He was only twelve.
Heartbreak was relatively new to him, at least, on this scale.
He flicked the TV on, and as the dark screen lit up, the words
he'd regretted came on the morning news. Thick and misty blue eyes dimmed
with pain as he saw the reporter, standing outside the bar where he knew
Aniki had been last night in a heavy jacket. The wind was whipping cold
air into her face, as an icy gold sun peeked between the crimson and tangerine
clouds. Her face was straight, and her voice concerned, but Jim knew it
was faked. It didn't hurt her, or even compare to the pain he felt.
"Just last night, a tragic fairy tale came to life. It seems
that even love has failed today, as the city of Locust says farewell to
the young Gene Starwind. At the age of 21, he had just proposed a few weeks
ago and was out on the town after returning from the clinic. It was said
by his fiancé that Starwind knew it was his last day and said goodbye.
The tragic event occurred just after he called his adopted brother, who
just turned twelve, and when he stepped outside of this bar. He was hailing
a cab, when lightning struck his engagement ring, and ultimately killed
him…"
Lives disrupted and promises forgotten and made, Jim broke all
the rules.
He cried.
