Disclaimer: The Loud House and associated characters belong to Nickelodeon and Chris Savino
Tainted Love
By Lola Presents
Chapter 8
Lori stood in front of the kitchen sink a short while later, merrily humming as she washed the night's wares. She felt full and content. However, behind her glee loomed an ominous reality; that she would eventually return to college. Lori had only arrived home a few days ago, and the thoughts merely flittered at the edge of consciousness. As a result,
The young woman's mind had become so trained that Lori failed to notice Lincoln enter.
Had Lincoln been wearing shoes, things might have turned out differently. Instead, he was able to approach her without detection, at least until he wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed himself against her. Of course, he'd glanced around to ensure their solitude before doing so.
"How ya doing?" he cooed as Lori nearly jumped out of her skin.
"Oh, geez," she gulped. "I'm sorry. I'm still not used to that. I'm fine, just doing the dishes. Wanna help?"
"Sure, why not?" he asked, requiring no answer before assisting her.
"I told you for the last time, Lola," exclaimed Lana as the twins strolled into the kitchen, "I do not like playing with dolls. And besides-"
That's when the tomboy noticed her sister's face go blank.
"What's the matter with you?" asked Lana, concerned her twin might be getting sick.
"Oh, hey, guys!" chirped Lori while Lincoln dried the last of the serving bowls. "What are you up to?"
"L-leaving," whimpered Lola before spinning on her heel and bolting from the room.
"What's her issue?" asked Lincoln, a cross expression on his face.
Lana hung her head and sighed. "I think that may be my fault," she admitted. "I sort of told her the basics of the birds and the bees earlier."
"Oh!" gasped Lori. "So, that's what she was yelling about earlier. I take it she didn't understand?"
"No, she understood," Lana explained. "Too well, I think. She was repulsed and mortified, and now I think she's embarrassed to be around the two of you."
"Okay," interjected Lincoln. "At her age, I understand some aversion to the topic, but why mortified? That doesn't make any sense?"
Lana folded her arms and stared at her brother for a moment. "Seriously?" she grumbled. "Lola's only spent the entirety of her life trying to look appealing to people. How do you imagine she'd respond if she thought someone wanted to do that with her?"
"Well, why did you tell her that in the first place?" gasped Lori, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I mean, come one. I know you understand this stuff, but Lola?"
"Yeah, I know. It was a stupid idea," moaned Lana, rubbing her arm. "But, she had so many questions. What was I supposed to do?"
"Well, for one, you could've come and gotten me," Lori reminded her, "or our parents. But I get why that might have been the best idea either."
"I suppose I should go talk to her," sighed Lana, resigning herself to the most dreaded task in the household, calming an upset Lola.
"No, I'll do it," Lori insisted before she headed upstairs.
Lincoln took a seat at the small kitchen table, usually reserved for kids, and Lana joined him, resting her head in her hands.
"Sometimes, I can be really stupid," announced Lana. "What's wrong with me?"
"Lana, there's nothing wrong with you," Lincoln told her softly, laying his hand on her arm. "Things like this wouldn't happen if parents told their kids the truth the first time they ask instead of making up analogies and fairy-tales."
I don't know, maybe," sighed Lana, dropping her arms and leaning back in the chair.
"Look, you understand stuff like this better than most because you're into nature," explained Lincoln. "She isn't. Next time, keep that in mind, and you'll do fine."
Lori approached the twin's door and knocked softly. "Lola?" she called. "May I come in?"
"Do you have to?" asked Lola briskly.
"Actually-" Lori sighed. "Yes. We need to talk."
"Can I pay you to leave and say we talked instead?" Lola tried, standing just beyond the door.
Lori chuckled, despite the seriousness of the matter. "No," she told her. "Not today."
The door unlocked but didn't open, so Lori waited for a moment before entering and locking the door once more. Lola was an odd child. Beyond her obsession with becoming a princess, she was difficult to please and quite stubborn. Lori was not surprised at Lola's hesitation, and maybe, had this happened earlier, Lola would've outright refused. However, Lori was now an adult, dictating a certain etiquette, which was something important to Lola.
"What do you want?" groaned the youngster as she sat upon her bed, drawing her knees close to her chest.
Lori walked over, took a seat on the edge of the bed, and faced Lola. "So, I hear you got a little chat from Lana earlier about embarrassing things. I know how you feel. I nearly died when Mom told me," she admitted. "I mean, there I was, a young girl who'd only used her parts in the restroom. I can only imagine what you must've thought. I understand, and I'm here if you have any questions."
"Okay, fine," sighed Lola, lowering her guard somewhat, though the furrowed brows remained. "I understand that you're in love. But why that? It doesn't make any sense. Why would you want him to put his, you know, there?"
"Well, I can't go into too much detail at your age. However, it's all part of growing up," Lori tried her best to explain. "When you get older, you'll start feeling a need for physical intimacy with someone. When you do, that part of you will begin to feel different. And besides, we aren't talking about the same, uh, hole. Anyway, that's how babies get made, and whether you want one at the time or not doesn't matter. Your instinct is to go through the motions as part of that intimacy. Do you understand?"
"Wait, what?" gasped Lola, going green in the face. "What do you mean, another hole? You aren't talking about my butt, are you?"
Once again, Lori chuckled. This time, she tried stifling it with her hand. "Uh, no," she said. "You honestly don't know much about yourself, do you?"
Lola frowned and lowered her head. "Not really," she whimpered. "I'm sorry. Biology is my worst subject."
"Alright, I can tell you this much," Lori began quietly. "There's a hole for peeing and another hole for, you know- that."
"Really?" gasped Lola, reaching for the hem of her dress.
"Oh! God! Not here!" exclaimed Lori, suddenly turning beet red, covering her eyes. "Please, for Pete's sake, go to the bathroom and do that. There's a hand mirror in there. You can use that."
Despite being an adult for over a year, some things still proved too much for Lori and seeing her little sister explore herself was one of them.
"Oh, sorry," Lola apologized before dashing out of her room.
Lori lingered on the bed, sighing heavily. She hadn't meant for Lola to leave just yet. There were still some things to explain, such as age-appropriate behavior and modesty. However, as Lola remained in the restroom for some time, Lori began to yawn as Lana entered.
"Hey, how'd it go?" the other twin asked as she got ready for bed. "Did she freak out and hit you?"
"Ah, no," yawned Lori, standing and stretching before heading toward the door. "It went as well as can be expected, though we didn't get to finish. I suppose we'll have to do that tomorrow. I need some sleep."
"Okay," Lana said, followed by a deep yawn of her own. "See you tomorrow."
Lori wasn't surprised to see that Leni had already fallen asleep by the time she lay down in bed. As she fumbled, getting comfortable amid the bedding, Lori could already tell that she would have difficulty sleeping tonight. In what seemed like hours, she'd gone from having few cares in the world to actualizing a long-denied attraction to her brother.
They had slept together not long after breaking up with Bobby, to make matters worse. Then, there was the matter of Lola, who was highly unpredictable, especially when her identity was threatened or challenged. Not only did Lori have to worry about finishing their conversation in a way that left Lola benign, but there was also the matter of her big mouth.
For her life, Lori couldn't come to terms with how insistent her sisters had been about them getting together. It seemed almost as if there were some hidden agenda, and though they'd shared many schemes over the years, even Lori couldn't fathom what theirs might be. Whatever it was, assuming one existed, it would come out in time. The only question was, how would it affect the household?
Similar, though not identical, issues invaded Lincoln's mind as he lay in his bed, repeatedly turning from one side to the other. The foremost thought on his mind was Lori's impending return to college. He knew how fragile she was, despite her best efforts at coming across as resolute. One hint that she and Bobby would break up used to push her toward emotional collapse.
How would she react when that time came? How would he react? Part of him registered with the consensus that household members probably shouldn't date, especially those related. Another aspect of him desired only to do whatever it took to make Lori happy.
Lincoln had already been through separation anxiety once and was sure he could do it again, especially now that he knew that Lori had returned his feelings. Lori, on the other hand, had not. Unlike her previous boyfriend, Lincoln could leave to visit her at college any time he wanted.
Lori and Lincoln would have to find another way of being together while she was away, and suddenly, Lincoln understood her obsession with her phone. It seemed funny to Lincoln. After all those years of poking fun at her for it, he realized that he'd be in the same position in a few short months.
As the moon tracked across the darkened sky above them, unseen, save by the tell-tale movements of several slivers of light across the floor, both Lori and Lincolns passed into unconsciousness at nearly the same time, thinking of little else but each other and what might be best for them.
Mercifully, the chasm of sleep swallowed their worries as they slumbered, and offering that secured their passage for another night. When morning broke, eyelids cracked upon a new day, though wholely similar to any other. The only difference was the underlying knowledge that Lori and Lincoln were forever bound in the grasp of love.
At least one person sat up, stretched, and yawned their rest away in every room, getting ready to face a new day. Leni prepared for work, Luna worked on some lyrics, and Luan lazed around, talking silently with Mr. Coconuts. Down the hall, Lisa changed Lily and sent her out of the room so she could concentrate on her next big idea. Lucy sighed heavily, wondering when the deities would grant her the same bliss they had Lori and Lincoln while Lynn stretched her hamstrings, loudly barking off her repetitions.
That left Lana, still sound asleep, curled into the fetal position under her blankets like a nesting squirrel. Then, there was Lola, who was anything but sleeping, though just as unmoving. Eventually, Lola's curiosity got her best, and she peered over at her twin. How could Lana snore that comfortably knowing the things she did?
The thought of one day being in that position terrified Lola, confident that it would involve a great deal of pain. Was Lana looking forward to it, or did she not think it worthwhile to ponder? Either way, Lola shuddered. The summer had begun, which meant a new season for her, a season full of men staring at her. Men she now knew might have designs on her. And, for a moment, she considered dropping out.
Life in the home continued relatively normally until their father called them down for breakfast. Lincoln rolled over and glanced at his clock, which read nearly ten-thirty. Groaning, he pulled himself from bed, got dressed, and headed out. Similarly, his siblings did the same—except Lana, too oblivious in her slumber.
They emerged, one by one, from under the lintel guarding the kitchen, and before them was one of their father's platters of morning delights. Without any prior thought, at least consciously, everyone left two side-by-side seats open, where Lori and Lincoln nervously, though eagerly, sat.
Unseen by all, they tentatively joined hands under the table and scootched a little closer together. Hopefully not to the degree where their father would notice, however. They banked heavily on the already crowded table hiding their actions.
"Good morning, kiddos!" Lynn addressed them, taking off his mitts and washing his hands. "Listen, guys. Your mother and I have an important dinner date tonight. My investor likes how the restaurant turned out and wants to discuss opening a second establishment across town. We'll need volunteers to watch over Lily while we're gone. Any takers?
"Ooh," frowned Leni. "I can't. I have work."
"I would, but I have band rehearsal," Luna offered, slightly ashamed. "Sorry."
"Same," barked Lynn. "Except football camp. Gotta keep my edge, you know?"
"I see," sighed their father. "Well, I can't leave her the younger ones-"
"I'll do it, Dad!" chirped Lori.
"Yeah!" chimed in Lincoln, perhaps too quickly. "Me too!"
Lynn raised a brow. "I can understand Lori doing it, but you, Lincoln? I thought you hated that?"
Lincoln blushed and shrugged. "I don't know. It might be fun."
"Alright then, it's settled," exclaimed Lynn, clapping his hands together in triumph. "We'll need to start getting ready around five. That's when your shift begins. Understood?"
"Got it!" declared Lincoln enthusiastically enough to warrant another odd look from his father and a few kicks from under the table. Someone was wearing cleats.
"What about the rest of you?" their father asked, attempting to appear an involved parent.
"The usual," announced Lisa, seemingly unaffected by everything around her. "Things you wouldn't understand. Or would you prefer I try?"
"No, no," admitted Lynn. "How about you, Lucy?"
"Dad!" exclaimed Lucy in a completely monotonous way. "You know that today's the day I volunteer at the graveyard. Those cairns aren't going to clean themselves, you know."
"Oh, right," murmured Lucy's father, reeling at the thought of handling random headstones. "Uh, and you, princess?"
"I don't know," sighed Lola listlessly. "Work on my routine, I suppose."
"Alright then, honey," he replied. "You do that."
"Or turn in my resignation," Lola mumbled as she left the table and hobbled out.
"Huh? I'm sorry. What was that?" called Mr. Loud unexpectedly.
"N-nothing," Lola said before disappearing.
Once the assemblage broke, and people began evacuating, especially a specific paternal element, Lori brushed up against Lincoln and playfully bumped his side with her hip.
"Hey, Pooky," she whispered, batting her eyes at him. "We don't have much time. Would you like to make the most of it and take a quick walk?"
"Yeah! I'd like that a lot!" smiled Lincoln as he placed his thing in the sink.
Luna checked the dining room and living room, then returned with an all-clear before allowing them out of the kitchen, intertwined as they were. "You're good, dudes," she whispered. "Be careful, though. You know how nosy Mr. Grouse is."
"Oh yeah, him," muttered Lincoln, releasing Lori's hand until they were well away from the house. "I forgot about him."
"Well, we didn't," responded Lucy. "If you want some privacy, I'd suggest the sepulcher in the North-West corner of the graveyard. It's empty. If you don't mind a few spirits, that is."
"Uh, thanks, but no thanks, Lucy," Lori quipped, swallowing harshly.
"It was nice of you to think of us," Lincoln said as he headed for the door, just ahead of Lori.
"Very well," sighed Lucy, well after they'd gone. "Don't do anything I wouldn't. Which, I suppose, isn't much."
A short walk was an understatement. Four lots down Franklin Avenue and Lori stopped in front of an unoccupied house for sale. The realtors managed to keep the yard manicured, though the bushes around the windows had yet to get trimmed.
"Uh, Precious?" Lincoln questioned, unconsciously testing the waters with a loving nickname. "Why are we stopping here?"
Lori heard the question, but her mouth was too busy trembling to respond. Instead, it quivered for a moment before Lori broke down into happy tears.
"What's the matter?" Lincoln said, consoling her. "Are you alright?"
Lori nodded. "Hmhm," she whimpered. "I'm perfect. That was so cute, Lincoln! I love it!"
"What was?" asked the perplexed young man.
"My nickname!" she chuckled. "You just called me precious!"
"I did?" muttered Lincoln, despite smiling to himself. "I like it too. It suits you because you're precious to me." Then, he peered past him toward the house. "But, what about the house?"
"Oh! Right," snapped Lori, wiping her tears away. "Don't you think it's cute? What if I bought it?!"
"Wait, what?" gasped Lincoln. "What about college? I mean, do you even have the capital for it?"
"Not now, Pooky!" exclaimed Lori. "But maybe one day. A girl can dream, right? Come on, let's check it out!" she added, grabbing Lincoln by his hand and dashing up the front porch.
"Wait! We can't just walk in," declared Lincoln. "Can we?"
"Yup," answered Lori. "This is what's called an open house. There's nothing of value left, so they leave it open for people who might be interested."
"I see," Lincoln acknowledged as he finally located the realtor's sign, indicating as much, along with the firm's name and number. And, before Lincoln knew it, Lori had pulled him entirely within the home.
