Things Harry Potter characters wouldn't be caught saying
The continuation…mwahahaha!
To
each other:
Harry to Voldemort: You killed my father!
Voldemort: No Harry…I am your
father…
Harry: Noooooo! (Falls down a space
pit, just like Luke Skywalker!)
Dobby to Harry: Where are Dobby's monthly Galleons? How is Dobby going to be betting in blackjack today if Dobby
doesn't have his Galleons?
Harry: I told you, I don't have them today!
Dobby: Well, then!! Dobby is going to
stop pretending to be Harry Potter's fan! And Harry Potter can have his socks back, too!
Harry to Dumbledore: Sir, do you really think Volde – I mean,
You-Know-Who, is coming back?
Dumbledore: Oh, sure! Me and Voldie used to
be partners in crime back in boot camp!
Ron to Hermione: What do you have for your last inch of parchment?
Hermione: (Looks up from reading "Teen People".) Hmm? Oh, I haven't done
it. Go ask Neville.
Ron: Why?
Hermione: (Sighs impatiently.) Well, if you must know, Neville does all my homework for me. He's a genius!
Professor McGonagall to Professor
Trelawney: So what do you want to do
tonight?
Trelawney: Let's paint our nails! Oh, and I
want to try this new hairstyle on you!
McGonagall: Did you foresee that?
Trelawney: Absolutely, girl!! Oh, by the
way…(whispers) How are you holding up?
McGonagall: Great! The students don't have
any idea that we're friends!
Trelawney: We're holding up both our reputations! (Both jump up and down and scream.)
If
they lived in the U.S. (continued):
Harry: Wassssuuuupppp??!!
Dumbledore: (Tune to "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith) And I don't
wanna miss a tha-ang…How's that, Stevie?
Steve Tyler: We'll call you. And don't call
me Stevie.
Lucius Malfoy: Sit down, Draco…I am going to teach about something very
important. Something you'll want to
remember forever………Draco, my son, it's time you found out about…The Chad.
Dobby: Antie up, boys. (Is that how
you spell it?)
Hermione: (Singing.) There's no
business like show business!
Draco Malfoy: What would you get a role as? A stunt chipmunk?
Hermione: Jump off a cliff, Malfoy.
Lottery guy: And today's lucky number, for the $1 million dollars, is…number 54!
Ron: 51? Hmm…hey, that's my
number! Oh my gosh! I won the Muggle Lottery! I won the Muggle Lottery!!
Mr. Weasley: Not fair, Ron! I wanted to win
the Muggle Lottery!
Draco Malfoy: Father, I think it's time I got a facelift. My nose is too long.
Voldemort: I'm going to be a punk rocker! Marilyn Manson, you're my hero!
Dumbledore: (Under his breath.) You'd
certainly look like him.
