Heheheh…they said what?!
When will there be an end??
Responses
to the joke "How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could
chuck wood?"
Ron: Wood chuck? Is that another
Muggle invention?
Mr. Weasley: No, Ron, it is a great joke invented by the Muggles! Genius, pure genius! Those little Muggles always find more and
more ways to keep amused.
Voldemort: I don't know and I don't care! If those wood chucks could rid the world of Muggles and Harry Potter,
then that would be something! But no,
they have to go chuck their wood! (Wormtail
whispers something in his ear.) What?! Now Nagini has gone to
live amongst the wood chucks?? This is
an outrage!
Lucius Malfoy: Can these wood chucks vote? Can they properly poke out a chad and read? I think not!
Hermione: What a stupid question. Why
bother asking if they can't even chuck wood? They can't even live up to their name!
Fred: What are those things called? Tongue Twisters? What kind of
name is that?
George: Tongue Twisters…hey, Fred! Wouldn't that sound like a great joke item? Weasley's Tongue Twisters!
Fred: Say, now you're talking!
Dumbledore: Now, now, those wood chucks are very industrious, indeed! (Chuckles.)
Draco Malfoy: I don't believe in wood chucks. I think the world would be better off without those stupid wood chucks!
Hagrid: Wha's tha'? Those wood chucks
don' breathe fire? Wha's the point if
they can' breathe fire!
Professor Binns: It is a well known fact that wood chucks cannot chuck wood. Since back in 1889 the wood chuck was well
known for not being able to chuck wood and so forth began and long and perilous
road for the wood chuck, being heavily criticized for various reasons dealing
with its disability in chucking wood…
Professor Snape: Ten points from the wood chucks and I want a full essay on why
wood chucks can't chuck wood and the top ten uses for wood chuck spit.
Harry: That wood chuck's a brave one, it is. Being able to stand up to the crowd in the midst of it's wood-chucking
disability. What a trooper!
Dobby: Dobby is not liking wood chucks, they cannot place bets!
When
they have bad dreams:
Harry: (Whispers.) I see dead
people.
Mr. Weasley: (Keenly.) Say, is that a
Muggle trait?
Hermione: Oh my, what a horrible dream! I
have to consult a book on dreams. Oh
my, horrible, just horrible. Malfoy and
I were getting married!
Draco Malfoy: Is it really so bad?
Draco Malfoy: (Doing a Blair Witch Project. Panting and whispering.) I
so scared right now…
Ron: (Snickering.) Say, Malfoy…I didn't know you wore
footie pajamas.
Pansy: (Still dreaming.) I'll
never let go, Draco, I'll never let go.
Dudley: Noooo! Mum!
Petunia: What is it, my Dinky Duddydums?
Dudley: I had a bad dream and there was no more salami in the house. Nothing!
Dumbledore: Dreams are very interesting, actually. I just store all my dreams in my Pensieve.
Professor Snape: Ten points from Gryffindor for making me dream about Professor
McGonagall.
Professor Trelawney: (In her misty voice.) Ahh, now I foretold you would have dreams
about that. You were dreaming about me,
were you not?
Professor Snape: Weren't you listening, you blockhead?!
Oliver Wood: (Still dreaming.) What? We didn't win the
Quidditch Cup? What do you mean Harry
used a fake Snitch? No! You can't take it from me! I'll never give it up!
Lucius Malfoy: What??!! Gore lost the
election? Damn hanging chads!!
Narcissa Malfoy: Now, Lucius, the election was over two months ago. You know very well that Gore lost.
Lucius Malfoy: That's what happens when you let Muggles vote.
Crabbe: Pocket lint isn't good for you?
