Heheheh…they said what?!
Oh, woe is me!
Voldemort: No! (Sobs.) How could you, you evil murderer!! (Wipes his eyes.) You killed Bambi's mommy!! Waaah!! Oh no…Wormtail…
Pettigrew: What did I tell you? You're not
supposed to watch Bambi before bedtime! It ruins your contacts! And
these special red snake eye ones are extra expensive, too!
Cho: Hello, Harry.
Harry: (Wearing a hat backwards, sunglasses, and a chain.) Hey ho!! Call me H Doggy Dogg! What
up? How's my main man? (Does a funky dance around Cho.)
Draco Malfoy: (Dreaming and drooling.) I wanna ride the pony……
Fred Weasley: We've decided to turn over a new leaf.
George: Yes, we've decided to stop trying to run a joke shop.
Fred: I can see it now! "Monty Python II and the Hogwarts Toilet Seat"!
Scene from Titanic:
Jack: Promise me, Rose, that you'll survive this night…
Voldemort: How touching…it almost makes me want to convert to good.
Rose: (Watches Jack float down to the bottom of the ocean, crying.) I'll never let go, Jack…I'll never let
go.
Voldemort: (Clutches a tissue. Reaches
for the TV screen.) Jack…oh! (Squirts Visine in his eyes.) Don't go, Jack!
Dobby: Winky, Dobby has found a job for you!
Winky: Nothing will be as good as working for Master!! Waah!
Dobby: There is a job opening in a bar, Winky! Winky can work there and Dobby will be a card dealer in a nearby casino!
Pettigrew: (Browsing through drapes in WalMart) Which drapes do you think
will look good with your bedding?
Voldemort: Oh, I just can't make up my mind. I absolutely love those pastel pink drapes, but they clash horribly with
my adorable green bunny slippers!
Pettigrew: What about mauve?
Voldemort: Oh no, red makes me think of blood. You know how queasy I get at the sight of blood.
Pettigrew: You know, I plumb forgot about that!
Crabbe: You know, Goyle, I find that quadratic equations are quite stimulating
for the mind.
Goyle: Yes, yes, I do agree, Crabbe. I
have also found that Shakespeare is quite inspiring. Perhaps you and me should collaborate and create our own tragedy.
Crabbe: You mean, 'Perhaps you and I'
Draco Malfoy: Hey, what are you doing with my copy of Romeo and Juliet?
Goyle: Huh? (Picks nose. Crabbe eats his earwax.)
Malfoy: You two are hopeless. I don't
even know how you got into Hogwarts in the first place.
A/N: This is from Shrek. I know that
as well as you do.
Voldemort: (Torturing a victim.) Tell me where he is!! Where
is Harry Potter?
Victim: OK!! (Sobs.) Okay, I'll tell you! (Pause.) Do you know…the muffin man?
Voldemort: The muffin man?
Victim: (Sobbing.) The muffin
man!
Voldemort: (Thoughtful.) Yes, I know
the muffin man…that one that lives in Hogsmeade, right?
Victim: Yes! (Sob.) Don't hurt me!
Voldemort: You know, Wormtail, I'm rather in the mood for muffins.
Wormtail: Blueberry ones are the best.
